CHAPTER 9

Sorry I didn't post this earlier. I may have had a good reason, or I may have been playing Pokemon Y.

-x-

The next day, Sasuke was surprised to find he didn't have to get up until 7am rather than sunrise. He slept in for as long as he could, managing until five before his body clock brought him from sleep. It was a nice feeling, waking up on his own time.

The whole morning felt strange. There was time for a decent shower. Time to enjoy the feeling of warm water jetting into his back. He turned the tap on as high as it went and stood staring at the wall for twenty minutes. And he just thought about things. Afterwards, he didn't get straight into uniform, but in regular clothes. A snug black onesie was the only item of clothing he owned from before that still fit him. He got dressed too quickly, clocking himself in the mirror. He felt skinny and gangly. Wearing traditional Uchiha clothes, he looked too young to be Anbu. But that was probably the point.

Done too early, he went to make lunch for the day. Apparently, academy children had set lunch times, just like in Root, only they ate proper meals in bento boxes made by their parents. He wasn't sure what to put in his old decorative lunchbox – the one his mother bought for him on his first day years ago. After scrounging around in his mostly empty kitchen, he stacked it to the brim with ration bars.

I wish I could cook, the voice said, sounding far away. Sasuke shrugged.

He still had plenty of time, so he double checked he had everything in his backpack: writing implements, books, lunch and a beginner's set of shinobi tools. That was everything on the list he'd been given. Even after all that preparation, it was only quarter to six. He felt so useless, like he should be doing something. Already six and he was just sitting on the edge of his bed, twiddling his thumbs like an ordinary member of the public. There wasn't much to do in his empty little apartment, and Sasuke wasn't used to doing nothing. It made him feel itchy – he decided to strip and take another shower just to pass the time. Afterwards he read a book, cover to cover. In hindsight, Sasuke decided he probably should have deactivated his Sharingan so it lasted longer.

With nothing left to do, Sasuke had a go at figuring out his new persona. It was much harder than he anticipated. How was he supposed to act like himself when he didn't know who he was?

Don't think too much on that stuff, the voice said. Sasuke was surprised he'd kept quiet for so long. When in doubt, I'll help you out.

The voice seemed to actually like this mission. After their encounter with Naruto the other day, he'd been much more prevalent in Sasuke's mind, to the point where he made small movements Sasuke almost wouldn't have noticed had he not actually felt himself doing them. It was like having a little muscle spasm, only at random and all over his body. The voice only did things like smoothing down the creases in his bed sheet or closing a cupboard door, but it was there, and it was strange. Idly he wondered if this was the sort of thing Jinchuuriki had to deal with, their demons taking over in a conversation or switching the television channel to something else. Sasuke didn't know when the voice started being able to move his body; what he did know was that he couldn't let things get out of control. But how do you control something without form?

"Maybe you should just tell me now," he said out loud. Sasuke sat on the edge of his bed, facing the full-length mirror.

It's not as simple as just telling you, the voice said. Sasuke could tell he was having trouble talking and using Sasuke's body at the same time, because the voice came much slower and less articulate than before. I don't know if you've realised this, but what you're doing right now is trying to act like me.

"Like you?"

He saw his reflection nod and jumped. He hadn't felt that one at all this time.

Sorry, the voice said. And yes. I know you call me a voice to try and cope with the fact that there are two of us in one body, but frankly you're the invader here, not me. I'm the real Sasuke Uchiha, you're just… I don't even know, a jutsu or something.

Sasuke knew the voice was right. He knew he was something Danzo had made him to be. He knew he was supposed to be nobody. So why was it so difficult to hear that he might just be some jutsu that didn't belong?

If you want to act like me, you're going to have to listen to me. Just… say what I tell you to say. Do what I tell you to do.

"Why should I?" Sasuke asked, feeling bold. He knew what he was feeling was just something borrowed from the voice, because really, he couldn't feel things unless they were felt through him. But feeling something was reassuring, like it was proof he wasn't just some virus Danzo had injected into the real Sasuke's brain. The voice might be Sasuke, but he knew he was Sasuke, too.

"The reason I'm here is to suppress you," he said. "You're the one who shouldn't be here. Why should I even be listening to you? What's stopping me from shutting you off completely?"

The voice swirled around aimlessly in a weird way he could half feel, kind of anxious, it seemed. Like remembering the push and pull of the ocean as you fall asleep. I'm not trying to threaten you, he said, placating. I want this mission to succeed just as much as you do.

"But why?" Sasuke asked. "I don't understand why you would want that, or even care."

Because, I guess, Naruto is my friend, he replied, and I don't want him to get hurt.

Of anything the voice could have said, Sasuke wasn't expecting that.

"Still…" Sasuke saw his reflection go neutral again. He looked so bland without the voice swimming around doing things. People would notice, probably, the emptiness on his face. The voice needed Sasuke to protect his friend, but maybe he needed to voice, too. "This… this is a solo mission," he replied half-heartedly. "Outside assistance is prohibited, Danzo said so himself."

Technically, it's not outside assistance if I'm inside of your head.

Sasuke couldn't argue with such sound reasoning.

-x-

Seeing Konoha just waking up was new to him. There was a frail-looking elderly man writing up the specials for his restaurant on a little chalkboard. He could smell breakfast food. One house was particularly noisy, and he was sure he could hear at least six different kids shouting at each other over the last pancake. A young woman opened up her window wide, leaning out to trickle water over some flowers with a green watering can. A sleepy-looking middle aged Chunin stepped out his front door, followed by a squat woman who fastened the straps on his flak jacket, then kissed his cheek as he turned to go. It was still fairly deserted, and the children might not be heading off for school for another hour or so. It was only seven now, and the academy opened at nine.

Can we go for a little walk around?

They hadn't been out in a while, and yesterday didn't count since they only really went to the academy, the voice insisted. The voice was getting a bit excited and he could hear a faint ringing in his ears. Instead of continuing on the main road, the voice urged his legs to the side and he slipped into one of the narrow alleys between a little bakery and a coffee shop. The further he went, the stranger the people got and the more sun-damage he saw to the flaking paint jobs on every building. When he came out the other side, he knew why he'd gone that way – this was the little street corner his mother liked to shop at. The buildings looked just as worn and homey as he remembered – you couldn't tell the difference between a corner store and an abandoned shack unless you actually went inside, but his mother had always loved it here. She called it 'cultural' and spent ages in the organic soap store, smelling the bricks of brown, lumpy bath bombs and body wash samples. Sasuke hadn't been allowed out of the Uchiha compound much as a child – his father said it was best for him to associate with people they could trust, whatever that meant. Going out with his mother was a treat, and he was always surprised by how big Konoha was. His mother usually took him to a small lake on the edge of the village walls, where they'd sit and share a bag of tomatoes and talk about things that didn't really matter. She always found art in everything, even the people that walked by.

The more Sasuke remembered, the more he realised these memories weren't his – they belonged to the voice. The people who had always smiled at him. The ones that scowled. The particularly smelly sewer that chased customers away from the Yamanaka flower shop (a glance in the barren old shop's direction told him they had either gone out of business or transferred to a less pungent location). The street seemed longer when he was a kid…

"Sasuke dear, is that you?" came a lilting woman's voice.

Sasuke was surprised to hear someone say his name like it wasn't something to feel sorry about. He was even more surprised to see the friendly face of Kimio, one of his mother's old friends. He was so surprised he didn't even say anything, just stood there gaping at her while the voice flurried about and tried to get him to react.

Say hello!

"HELLO," Sasuke yelled. A pair of old men chatting across the street looked up from their game of shogi to stare.

Kimio looked a bit startled, too, but quickly covered it up with a smile and tucked one of many frazzled hairs behind her ear. The way she shambled towards him with her arms outstretched you'd think they were best of friends.

"It's been so long, I've missed you so, so much!" By the time she reached Sasuke he realised it was too late to flee from her smothering bosom, so he allowed himself to be swallowed within its depths. She hugged like a pro-wrestler. Kimio alternated between crushing him and showering his cheeks with kisses, and when she found the time between breaths she would mutter about how handsome he was getting and what a pleasure it was to see him and asked why he hadn't visited in so long.

Don't just dangle your arms, pat her on the back or something!

Sasuke wrangled his arms out and tried to reciprocate the hug, but just then she pulled away and rested her hands on his shoulders. Her eyes welled with tears.

"You look so much like your mother," she said fondly. Sasuke didn't know what to say. Neither did the voice; he seemed flustered.

She smiled at him and wiped away the beginnings of her tears, sniffling and shaking like her head like she was being silly. "Come inside, I have something for you."

She turned around and shuffled away, and Sasuke thought maybe that was just the way she walked, her hips shaking with all the vigor of a belly dancer. It took a few prods from the voice to get his legs moving into the flowery-looking shop that smelled like lavender inside.

A bell tinkled as the door swung shut behind him. He stood awkwardly by the door, looking around at the checkered wallpaper and the menu written up on the back wall. What sort of shop did she run again?

Kimio re-appeared with a box neatly wrapped in fabric, holding it out for him to take. "This was always your mother's favourite," she said sadly. "Take it. It's on the house."

He blinked at her then down at the gift, peeking inside. Oh, that's right, she sold bento. His mother said it was the best in the whole village. Inside he could see heart shaped rice, little octopus weenies, an assortment of vegetables, red bean paste and something else he couldn't identify, but smelled delicious.

The voice said something and Sasuke automatically repeated it. "Thank you."

"It's nothing at all. Come by anytime and I'll have one ready for you. Just don't tell the other customers or they might get a little jealous," she said with a wink. "Where are you off to this morning?"

Sasuke really liked Kimio, even though his only memories of her were flashes he was picking up from the voice. "The academy," he replied, surprised at how much younger he sounded speaking to her.

"Oh, best not keep you. Study hard and make us proud. You're going to make a fine ninja," she said, pinching his cheek softly and turning back to the counter. If only she knew. She probably would be more horrified to see him than pleased.

"Bye," Sasuke muttered, and she smiled at him. He turned out the door, only just now acknowledging how pink her shop was, holding a bento he didn't need in his hands. He stepped out into the hot Konoha air and looked at it unsurely.

It's better than ration bars, the voice said.

"Ration bars are more nutritious and cater to the physical needs of a shinobi," he muttered.

The voice seemed annoyed at that and pressed against his skull. He winced. The voice was trying to give him a headache on purpose. It tastes better, I mean.

Sasuke continued down the path towards the academy. "That sort of thing doesn't concern me."

God. You're like a robot. Sasuke didn't know what to think about that. All I'm saying is that it was nice of her.

Sasuke looked at the bento box, thoughtful. "Yes. It was."