A/N: Lots of thanks to Loveallcats13, boukenbee, Nako13yeh, Jessibelle88, goldfusion, Harolda and Fan for reviewing :)
The knock on the door came when I was hunched over my writing-table, my ink-quill scratching against a sheet of parchment as I scribbled away. It was a mere two knocks, brisk and rather rude.
'Come in,' I called without lifting my head.
I had found a new hobby: transcribing Asgardian books from their original runic script into into various, obscure languages. Pointless, yes, but intellectually stimulating. I glanced up just in time to see Odin step through the doorway.
'All-Father.' Shocked, I jumped to my feet, holding the book protectively to my belly. 'What do you want?' He knows, he knows, he knows I lied, he's going to throw me back in the dungeons for five-hundred years…
'I came to see how you were.'
'Oh.' He doesn't know. Slightly embarrassed but enormously relieved, I tucked my book under my arm and waited to see what he had to say. Admittedly, it had been a while since we'd last seen each other – it was only natural that he would want to check up on me, if only to reassure himself that I was still a helpless captive. 'Please…come in.'
He stepped further into the room.
'Are you coping?' he asked.
'What do you mean?'
'With imprisonment. With the length of time you are bound to remain here. How do you fare? Have you come to terms with it?'
'Well…yes, I suppose. It's not so bad.'
He raised an eyebrow.
'…I mean, it is bad, but it's not as bad as it could've been. And as for length, well.' I shrugged. 'I'm keeping track of the days. I've served four months so far, and I have another thousand-and-ninety-six months to go. Putting a number to it makes it seem more…manageable.'
'Manageable, but not pleasant.'
'Precisely.'
We stood in silence. His eye roamed around my bed-chamber, taking note of the clothes slung over the chair, the wine I'd been drinking, what I'd been reading…
'And you?' I asked cautiously. His inscrutable gaze returned to me. 'Are you in good health?'
'Yes. I am.' Something about the way he said it sounded like a subtle threat, as if he were warning me not to underestimate him.
'…Good.'
'Do you have plans for tomorrow?' he enquired.
Plans…such as? Lying in bed? Killing insects on the balcony?
'No…not really.'
'In that case, would you be willing to join Frigga, Thor and myself for breakfast tomorrow morning?'
'You must be joking.' My hands fell limply to my sides. 'Are you in earnest?'
'Yes.'
'But you said it yourself: I'm not to leave these chambers. Ever. I thought that was the whole point of being locked up…'
'You had no problem visiting the dungeons. Why do you quail from the thought of visiting the breakfast-table?'
'That was one thing. This is another entirely.'
'So your answer is "no"?'
'I – ' I floundered. When was the last time I'd eaten a meal with my family? Not at some great banquet or other event, but in private? If I said yes, then for the first time in years – possibly for the first time in my adulthood – we would be sitting together, sharing a table. 'I…yes. I'll join you.'
He nodded slightly, satisfied, and left. My heart was pounding in my chest. Part of me felt offended by Odin's visit. This was the last place in the Nine Realms where I had any sense of privacy or security, and he thought he could simply barge in unannounced and unwelcome? Was it an attempt to be friendly? To be fatherly?
Our unexpected conversation soured my mood for the rest of the day, but I knew it was too late to change my answer. So, after a sleepless night, I found myself sitting beside Thor and opposite our parents, my ankles shackled beneath the table, forcing myself to finish a plate of salad despite my lack of appetite. I couldn't help but notice how their eyes followed me whenever I picked up the knife to cut the meat, as if they subconsciously expected me to go wild and stab someone to death with it. They still don't trust me.
'Are none of us to speak until the meal is over?' Odin eventually broke the silence.
I glanced sideways at Thor, but he kept his eyes on his food. Either he was oblivious to the taut atmosphere, or he was keeping his feelings to himself.
'Name a subject,' I replied almost challengingly.
'Very well. Have you given any thought to what you will do once you are free? By that time, you may have paid thoroughly for your wrongdoings, but you will still be remembered as the fallen prince who waged war against Midgard.'
'A crime of which I am innocent,' I reminded him.
'Indeed. But be that as it may, you will still need to win back the favour of the people.'
'What do you suggest?' I tore a bread roll in half.
'Perhaps if you were to go to Earth and make reparations with the humans. Offer them your apologies and your friendship. Such an act would go a long way in restoring goodwill.'
Thor turned his gaze to me expectantly, still munching away.
'I won't bow and scrape to a pack of mortals,' I muttered. 'Besides, I care not for popularity. As long as I'm free again, what does it matter if there are statues built in my honour or not?'
'That is your choice,' said Odin rather coldly. 'But nevertheless, I would encourage you to make your remorse known.'
I said nothing. He waited, but when it became apparent that I wasn't going to reply, he carried on eating. The lack of conversation was deafening, a quiet broken only by the chinking of cutlery. I couldn't think of a damn thing to say. My gaze flickered to Mother, trying to alert her to my discomfort, but all she did was smile reassuringly.
'I can't bear this,' slipped from my mouth. 'I'm sorry but I can't. I'm happy for the measure of freedom you've given me and I'm very grateful, but I'd rather be alone with my books than be sitting here trying to make small-talk with you. At times like this, I almost miss being locked up in my cell or stranded on the Chitauri's rock – at least then I wasn't forced into conversations against my will.' I turned to Mother. 'May I leave?'
'Of course you may,' she quietly responded. 'But can you eat a little first? You've barely touched a mouthful.'
'I've no appetite.' I pushed my chair backwards and stood up, chains clanking too loudly. Odin said nothing. I stared at him. 'Well? Aren't you going to order me to sit back down? I thought you wanted me here. I thought you wanted to – '
'Your mother asked me to invite you,' he interrupted. 'She said it would be good for you, and for me.'
That was like a punch to the face.
'Oh, I see. So you never really wanted to spend time with me at all? You were just doing it to humour her? All this – ' I indicated the table with a sweeping motion ' – all this was for her?'
'No. That is not what I said. The decision was mine to make, and I made it. Frigga merely encouraged me – '
'Because she's a fool!'
'Loki.' His tone remained calm, quiet. 'Do not ever speak of your mother that way in front of me. Not while you are at my mercy, nor while you are free. Do you understand?'
His composure only served to increase my anger.
'Why are you doing this?' I demanded. 'Are you testing me? Are you trying to see if I'll…I'll kill Thor, or jump out of that window, or something? Is that what this is? A test? Are you deliberately provoking me?'
'No.'
'What then?'
'I merely wanted you to spend some time with your family. I thought you'd earned a little kindness after what you did for Thor. I do not lightly forgive your wrongs, but nor will I ignore your good deeds…'
'Time with my family? Perhaps you should've taken that into consideration before you locked me up for a century!' I raised my voice further.
'Loki,' Frigga said softly. 'Loki, try to – '
'And please, Mother, don't expect me to be pleasant.' I shoved my chair under the table. 'I'm done.'
The Einherjar led me from the room in chains. It was humiliating having to walk around like that, but I took consolation in the fact that this area of the palace had been emptied in order to clear a path for me, so the minimum number of people bore witness to my hobbled shuffling.
'Brother!'
I glanced back. Thor was following us. I had no desire to stop and listen to his self-righteous lecturing, but the Einherjar dutifully slowed, forcing me to wait until he'd caught up with us. Just in case his greeting was a punch, I turned my face away pre-emptively.
'Well? Have they sent you to knock some sense into me?'
'No, actually, you forgot your breakfast.' He held out my plate, which he'd piled high with extra foodstuffs. 'I thought you might enjoy it better in your own chambers.' I accepted it with cautious thanks.
'Are they angry?' I asked.
'Father is. Mother, well, I'm not sure. She never seems to be angry with you. She's not pleased with your behaviour, but I think she blames herself for putting you in an uncomfortable situation.'
'I didn't mean it – what I said about her. You'll tell her that, won't you?'
'Why don't you tell her yourself?'
'Somehow I doubt Odin will be inviting me to family gatherings again any time soon. I suppose it'll be a while before reconciliation is possible.'
'If so, you brought it on your own head with your rudeness,' he pointed out.
'Maybe. But still, don't let my words fester,' I said contritely. 'I spoke in anger. We all do – some more than others. Let Mother know I'm sorry.'
'I will.'
'…What about you?' I ventured to ask, half-dreading the answer. 'Are you angry?'
'Would it matter at all to you if I was? Anyhow.' He gestured to the plate. 'Don't forget to eat. Put some meat on your bones…'
He returned the way he'd come. I let my apologetic expression slide away into open irritation.
'Hurry up, will you,' I snapped to my armoured escorts, growing sick of the sight of these gilded halls. If this was what freedom and family entailed – constant discomfort and painfully awkward conversations – then I'd happily live a life of solitude. Now, I couldn't wait to get back to my chambers.
