A/N: I want to thank every one that has either reviewed this fic or put it as a fave. Thank you very much! As always, leave a review. For it is them that lets me know if i am doing a good job. NOW ON TO THE FIC!
Chapter 8 : Me, Myself, and My Demons
Azula walked quietly back to Morra's home. Behind her, Morra and Bao followed her at an safe distance as to give her some privacy. Just 1 hour ago, Azua had the unfortunate privilege of hearing from one of her former victims, the story of how she had ordered the execution of over 900 Earth Kingdom civilians after she and her army captured it during an offensive in the western Earth Kingdom. She remembered that day all too well. Her father had sent Azula to oversee the operation personally, after one of his generals had failed to make any gains in that region for almost a year. Not pleased with his progress, Azula 'Punished' said general by demoting him back into a private and made him fight at the very front during the battle. It was during one of these battles, that Azula had managed to capture said village and decided to punish the villagers for even thinking that they could fight back against the might that was the 'Glorious' Fire Nation war machine. They needed to be punished, at least that was what her father would say. She had all of them lined up in the village center, while one of the village elders was brought to the front and was made to watch as all of his people were burned alive in front his very eyes. But Azula only grinned, the the towns people were reduced into nothing more than ash. But she was not done, she needed to let the other villages a message that would make them think twice before they thought about fighting back and unfortunately for the elder...he would be that massage, as she burned the left side of his wrinkled face.
The tactic had worked. Upon hearing what the old man had said, a number of the villages had surrendered without incident and Azula had managed to score a great victory for the Fire Nation, and for her father. When she returned home, Azula was given a hero's welcome and a huge feast was held in her name at the place. So pleased was he with his daughter's victory, Ozai decided that she would be the perfect person to hunt down and kill the Avatar. But even though she enjoyed the praise that she had gotten for her success, never once had she ever thought about all the people that she had hurt in her quest to be like her father. It was only in her third year at the Boiling Rock, did Azula really began to feel the the weight of her actions. She was responsible for the deaths of thousands of innocent men, women and children. She had ordered the murder of 900 civilians in that village, just because one of her men was killed by a group of people that were only trying to defend their homes. She had scarred an helpless old man, just so she could scare the other villages into surrendering. It was very clear to see that the former Princess had the blood of countless innocents on her hands and it was all her fault. Never once did she question her father's wishes, she was only his loyal daughter and she was all to willing to do anything to earn his love and respect. 2 things that he never intended to give her. All she was to him, was his mindless puppet. An extension of his cruelty and hate and as a result, there were now persons that were demanding her execution and her body left to rot next to the same person responsible for her actions.
After a few minutes of walking, Azula arrived home and went strait into her room. Morra and Bao entered the house soon after and went to see just haw the young woman was doing. But as she got close to the door, she could hear Azula sobbing on the other side. Being the mother figure that she was, Morra wanted to go inside and comfort her young charge, but what would she say? What could she say? Even though she knew that Azula was truly sorry for what she had done in the past, it did not change the fact that she had not done all those things. Even Morra herself almost did not want to help the poor woman after she found out who she was. But after spending some time with her, Morra came to see the wounded human being behind those amber eyes of hers , and not the unstable, cold blooded demon that the rest of the world thought she was. Morra even began to think of Azula, as one of her own children and just like any mother would, she so wanted to cheer her up. But could not. All Morra could do was give her friend some time to be alone and hope that Azula would be in a better position to talk. She then decided to head into the kitchen and start dinner. She hoped by doing this, she could keep her mind busy and not focus too much on the young, troubled woman crying in the next room. Leaving Bao laying down in front the door, worried for her master.
A few hours had passed and Azula had yet to come out of her room. Bao was still in front her door with her nose pressed up against it, while Morra was finishing up in the kitchen with dinner. Even though cooking dinner had helped a bit, she still could not help but to worry about her young friend. She had not come out of the since she came home and Morra was now beginning to wonder if she ever would. At first, she did not want to disturb Azula, thinking that she would eventually come out for her own. But it was almost dinner time and to tell you the truth, she was really starting to get worried. She walked up to the door... " Azula!" she called out, " Azula, are you alright?" she was only met with silence.
" Azula, it is almost time for dinner. Kodda and the kids would be home soon. Aren't you hungry?" Morra said, as she stood in front the closed door. But still, silence. At this point, Kodda and the rest of her family came in and saw her in front the door. " What's wrong hon'?" Kodda asked, as he came up to his wife.
" It's Zura. There was a rally in town and I think it affected her. She just came straight home and locked herself in her room." she said carefully, knowing that her family did not know who she really was. " What did they say?" he asked, getting a bit worried himself.
" They had a man from the Earth Kingdom speaking, he told a story from the war and of how his village was attacked." She replied, choosing her words carefully. " I did not hear all of it, but whatever he said, it must of really struck a nerve with her." Kodda frowned... " I guess the war must have really had and affect on her."
'You have no idea.' Morra thought to herself. Then all of a sudden, Bao shot up and began to claw at the door. All the while whimpering. The couple were puzzled by the Polar Bear Dog's actions and were wondering why she was doing this. But then it hit them, something must be wrong with Azula! "ZURA!" Kodda called out. But still nothing. There was only an ominous silence. "ZURA!" still nothing. Only Bao's barking and scratching at the door could be heard. That was it! Kodda began to kick the door repeatedly in an attempt to break it down. He did not care about the damage he was doing, he just knew that something was wrong and his wife's friend was in trouble. Soon, the large man managed to break down the locked door and entered the room with Morra right behind him. But what they saw inside left them in shock and horror. Laying in the bed, was Azula/Zura. She was on her back, with her arms and legs spread out. But what really got there attention, were the large blood stains that had formed on the sheets where her wrists were. As well as the small piece of ice that had been sharpened and covered with blood... her blood. The former princess had slit her own wrist in an attempt to commit suicide and by the looks of things she might almost succeed. Morra knew that what the old man had said affected Azula, but she did not knew it would have driven her to do this.
Quickly, Morra was by her young charge's side and began to rip off pieces of her own dress and began wrapping the torn fabric around her cuts, in an attempt to stop the bleeding. While Kodda ran out the room and told the children to go by their neighbor's house and stay there until he called them back. He did not want them to see the horrible sight of their new friend like this. He then went back to the room just in time to see his wife using her healing method on Zura in an effort to save her life. " Kodda!" Morra called out, " go get Kenga! Tell him what happened!" Kodda just nodded and ran out the door , to get his wife's friend. All Morra could do now , was try and stop the bleeding and hope that Azula would be alright.
Azula did know where she was, nor did she know how she got there. The last thing that she could remember, was laying down in the bed not to long after she had slit her own wrist in an attempt to end her life. It was just earlier in the day, she was in the village and there was another Anti-Fire Nation rally going on. But what really got her attention, was a man who made watch the execution of his entire village. But if that were not enough, she had personally burned the left side of his face, as a warning to the other villages as not to resist them. She could feel the hate in his word, the pain in his voice. She caused that, she was the reason why he was in so much pain, why his village was destroyed and why many of his people were dead. She began to wonder just how she was able to to live with her self all these years, with the knowledge that she had killed so many innocent people. Why did she do it at all. She did not deserve to live and those people in the village knew it. She was the most hated human in the world and felt like every one would not be happy until she and her father were dead and their bodies were hanging in the sun. She knew what she had to do, the words of that poor man still rung in her ears and if she did this she thought, she could give him some form of comfort. She just hoped that Morra and Kenga would forgive her for what she was about to do, and that the spirit world would be kind to her.
She found a piece of ice that was jutting out near the window and broke it off. She looked at the piece for a few moments and determined that it would suit her needs for what she was about to do. She then brought up her left arm and proceeded to slit her wrist. She bit her lip as the sharp, cold object sliced through her flesh. She had to do every thing in her power from yelling out in pain and alerting Morra. When she was done with her left wrist, she then proceeded to cut her right wrist. All the while, trying not to scream in pain. At this point she could hear Morra and Bao outside her door, but she ignored them. She did not want them to stop her... she wanted to die. As she laid down on the bed, Azula could feel the blood, her blood, flow from her now throbbing veins. She knew that it would not take long for her to bleed out, but she did not care. She just hoped that with her death, all her victims would finally find some peace. That was her last thought before everything went black and the next thing she knew, she was here. Where ever "Here" was.
'How does it feel?' a voice asked in the darkness. "What...? who are you?" Azula called out.
'How does it feel to be remembered as a murderer?' the voice said again. 'How does it feel to here from one of your own victims?'
"I do not under stand, who are you?" Azula called out again into the darkness. "Show your self."
'Why Azula, don't you recognize me?' the voice said, slightly amused. Then, a figure dressed in a Fire Nation military uniform came walking out from the darkness. The figure was obviously female, her hair was wild and messy and her amber eyes were showed that she was of unstable mind. But when Azula saw the figure, she could not believe her now wide eyes. For now standing in front her... was... herself!. The other Azula smiled wickedly, ' Don't you recognize your own self ? Your former glorious self ?'
" There was nothing glorious about who I was!" the real Azula shot back. 'Oh come now, you are the royal princess of the Mighty Fire Nation. The greatest nation the world has ever known. You are the pride of your father and a master bender. You are the greatest bender our nation has ever seen. You brought glory to our Nation.'
"All I brought to our nation, is shame and disgrace." Azula shot back. " I was... am a murderer."
'No your not, you lead that campaign that ensured our nation's victory in the western Earth Kingdom. You are a hero.'
"No I'm not! I killed all those people! There was nothing glorious about that!"
'Those "people" were just Earth Kingdom. They did not deserve to live, they tried to stop our victory! They got what they deserved' she said angrily, 'They are no more special than those water benders that destroyed your mind!'
"IT WAS FATHER THAT DESTROYED OUR MINDS!" Azula roared, " He never love me, he only cared about himself! The only person that really loved me, he banished!"
'You mean the same person that abandoned you and your weak brother to save herself?' she replied.
" My brother is not weak! He loves me, if not so then why didn't he kill me when he had the chance?"
'Because he is not like you. He does not have the stomach to kill... like you do. You killed with such a passion, like it was second nature to you. You liked to kill and you know know it!'
Azula just bowed her head and allowed what her other self had told her to sink in. There was a time where she would not hesitate to kill some one , if she saw it fit to do so. Which was all the time. Never once did she question her actions, nor did she ever shown any kind of remorse. She then began to wonder just how many people had she killed. How many families that she destroyed, children left orphaned , parents left childless. Just how many indeed? "I'm... I'm no longer that person." she whispered.
'But you did kill all those people. Your just like me, your true self.'
"I'm nothing like you! At least... not any more..."
'You never did answer my question. How does it feel to be remembered in such vivid detail? To be reminded of your own actions?' she asked. Azula just sighed heavily and said... " Horrible. He has every right to want me dead, after what I had done to him and his village. I wish there was a way I... I could make things right." Azula finished her statement, her heart feeling heavy at what she had said. She waited for her other self to respond to her to her statement, she expected to hear her former self to say something, to try and discredit her. But what happened next, left her stunned. The other Azula just smiled and said...
'Then maybe... there is hope for both of us after all...' and with that, she slowly faded away. Leaving Azula all alone in the darkness once again, with only her thoughts as company...
