Unforgivable- Chapter 9

AUTHOR's NOTE: Sorry I had to edit this chapter but I wanted to remove some personal information about my stepson.

CHAPTER 9- "A Long Way Home"

There were two things Claire knew for sure. Scott had a problem, and without a doubt, whatever Scott's problem was, it had something to do with his family, probably with his stepmom. She decided to plan a nice day out with him, in hopes of getting him to talk.

On Saturday, she packed picnic lunches and told him they were going for a ride. But to Scott it felt more like a journey. It took three hours to get to the lake she drove him to. When they finally got there, she led him to a grassy spot on the bank and threw out a red checkered picnic blanket. Scott set down the basket, and, starving now that it was lunchtime, got everything out and started eating. They ate quietly, looking out over the lake and listening to the sounds of the birds in the trees above their heads. When they got finished, Claire said, "Help me pack this up. Then we'll go get our boat."

"Our boat?" Scott asked, looking skeptical.

"Yes, boat. It will fun, you'll see." Claire said cheerfully.

Once they got the little boat, and the man in charge of the loans showed them what to do, they set out. Scott had never been in any kind of boat before, not even at summer camp, but Claire had done it lots of times.

Claire rowed out to the middle of the lake, where it was still and quiet, and then stopped. "Why are we stopping?" Scott asked.

They were facing each other. Claire said, "Oh, I just thought we'd stop here and talk a while."

Scott looked out at the empty expanse around them. He started to get a sinking feeling.

Claire asked, "Does your dad ever do stuff like this with you?"

Scott shook his head. "Mostly we bond over football. Or…used to."

"Just football?" Claire asked

Scott clarified. "Well, when I was little, we did stuff more. Camping, fishing, amusement parks…before he got married."

"And now…" Claire probed.

"Now he's too busy with the skank." Scott looked away.

"Wow, you really don't like her, do you?" Claire raised her eyebrows.

"What do you think?" Scott snapped back at her.

"I think it must have been really hard to deal with your parents splitting up and then to have your dad marry someone so young and so different from your mom…especially so soon after the divorce. It must have felt like a slap in the face. I mean, I haven't been in the situation so I'm not trying to pretend I know what it's like, but…I just think it must be really hard." Claire told him.

"Yeah, well, it was." Scott said.

"Was?" Claire repeated. "So, your dad was wrong- you don't blame Elaine for the divorce?"

"Look, I did at first. But I got over it. If my dad wants to be with the skank, there's nothing I can do about it. It's his mistake." Scott said angrily.

It was quiet for a moment except for the lake sounds, then-

"Your dad seems to think all the problems you've been having are because of him remarrying. But it just seems like there's more to it than that."

Scott was quiet, looking down at the water.

Claire shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong." She was quiet for a second, looking at him, then said quietly, "Scott, I think there's more going on here than you're letting on."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Scott said defensively.

"Only that I'm getting the feeling you're not telling me everything. And that maybe what your dad thinks is going on, isn't what's really going on."

Scott was silent once again.

Claire tried again. "Scott, your dad said you'd had this problem, what? Six, eight months now?"

Scott paused, then nodded.

Claire said gently, "That's a long time. Aren't you tired?" She pursed her lips. "You're unhappy. You're becoming an angry person. Whatever this problem is, it's too big for you to handle by yourself."

Scott said then, almost so quietly that Claire didn't hear him, "I can't talk about it."

"Why?" Claire pressed. "Are you afraid I'll laugh at you or something? Overreact?"

Scott shook his head.

"Okay. Are you afraid I'll go telling everybody?"

Scott shrugged.

Claire's next try was, "Are you afraid of not being believed?"

Scott looked away then, which was what Claire had noticed he did whenever he didn't want to admit to something. She spoke to him again, saying, "Whatever this is, it's making you unhappy. I'm sure you want it to stop. You do want it to stop, don't you?"

"Yes!" Scott said angrily- that got him.

Claire asked gently, "Can you think of a way to make it stop?"

Scott laughed; a dry, hollow laugh. "Drugs," he said.

Claire responded quietly. "That's not funny, Scott."

Then Scott said, somewhat hysterical, "If I could've stopped it, don't you think I would have by now?"

"Then you agree with me."

"Huh?" Scott looked at her, confused.

Claire explained. "When I said this was too big for you to deal with on your own. You agree with me."

Scott stared at her for a long moment, then looked away.

"Good try," he said huskily.

"Good try?" Claire repeated, not knowing what he meant.

"Getting me to talk. The guidance counselor at my school already tried that, when I first started flunking out. Didn't work for him, either."

"Oh." Claire said sadly. Then, "I think I can help, Scott. If you can talk to me- even if it scares you, if you can be brave enough to get over that hurdle and tell me what's going on, I really think I'll be able to help. And then we can stop this thing and get your life back."

She paused a moment to see his reaction, and then, knowing that sometimes people- especially kids- can open up better if they're not being looked at, she turned away from him to face the front of the boat, as if she just wanted to look out onto the lake.

"The thing is," Scott started slowly, "The thing is, when you've kept quiet so long...when you've gone so long without talking…it can be hard to…to open up."

Claire said softly, "Well, it's a very big lake, and we've got hours before nightfall."

She eased down into the floor so she could lean back against the seat, to appear relaxed. She rested her arms on the sides, and sighed a contented sigh as the sun hit her face.

Scott regarded her for a moment. Then he breathed out slowly. "I don't know..."

Claire had an idea. "I have an idea. Maybe, if it's hard for you to talk, I could just ask you questions. Easy, yes or no questions. That way all you have to say is yes or no. Can we try that? And we can stop whenever you want to."

"You promise?" Scott said.

He sounded so childlike when he said that that it startled Claire. She wanted to look at his face, but didn't.

"Promise about what?" She asked.

"That we'll stop when I want to."

That sounded so odd to Claire. Isn't that what she just told him? Why did he want a promise?

"Of course," she answered.

"Well…okay." Scott said reluctantly. He felt uneasy. But he was out in the middle of the lake, there was nowhere else to go. And Claire didn't seem so threatening, especially not now that he couldn't look directly at her.

"Well, we'll start off easy then. Is football your favorite sport?"

"Yeah."

"Is it true that you aren't allowed to play on your school's football team this year?"

"Yeah."

"Was your dad disappointed?"

"Yeah."

"Was he angry?"

"Yeah."

"With you?"

"Yeah."

"Do you miss it? Football?"

There was a pause, then- "Yeah."

"Did you want to dad to get married again?"

"No."

Did your dad and Elaine date for a long time before they got married?"

"No."

"Did you think your dad was kind of rushing into things?"

"Yeah."

"Did you like Elaine at first?"

There was a pause.

"Scott?"

"I don't know. She was okay, at first. I guess."

"So she changed?"

Scott laughed a little. "Yeah."

"Did your dad change too?"

Scott paused a moment, as if considering. "Yeah," he answered.

"How did they-"

"You said yes or no only!" Scott reminded her before she even got a question out.

"Right. Sorry." Claire agreed.

"Scott, have your parents ever hit you?"

Scott paused, remembering how his dad had never been exactly violent; all the times he'd smacked Scott were because Scott had called Elaine a skank. "Yeah."

Claire wanted to ask which of them had hit him, but assumed it was Martin. She wanted to ask why he'd been hit, but couldn't.

"Does Elaine hit you?"

"No." Scott said shortly.

Claire was surprised, but then figured maybe she'd been wrong- maybe the problem wasn't Elaine, maybe it was Martin hitting Scott.

"Do you think your dad's hit you more since he and Elaine got married?"

Scott laughed a little. "Yeah."

"Have you ever told anyone that your dad's hit you?" Claire asked.

Scott shook his head. "No. And it's not like- I mean, it's not a big deal, he doesn't do it for nothing, he just- look, can we stop?"

Claire paused. Then remembering her promise, she said softly, "Sure."

She scooted back up into her seat and began rowing back to shore. Maybe they'd better go now, anyway. It was a long way home.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Again, this was edited to remove personal stuff about my stepson from this chapter. If you didn't see the original version, then you won't know what I am referring to, but, if you did see it then I hope you understand why I needed to edit some things out. Just chose not to put my kid's stuff out there like that...he has enough to deal with.