Movie BJ and all related characters/content are owned by Tim Burton, Geffen Entertainment, and Warner Bros. Not me.
Scruffenstein was gone for about a week. When he returned we were ready.
Scruffenstein walked in cautiously, much to my amusement. He checked the entire apartment, golf club in hand. When he was satisfied that all was normal (he spent a good minute checking out the television) he flopped onto the couch and put the TV on. I looked at Beetlejuice and nodded.
The apartment suddenly turned dark. Scruffenstein was immediately on alert, looking around the apartment. He stood up slowly and started wandering around the apartment again, checking things. I laughed loudly, knowing he would hear me. The color drained out of his face as he stopped.
"Wh…who's there?" He called.
I laughed again. Scruffenstein felt movement around his ankles and looked down. Beetlejuice filled the pitch black apartment with unearthly green light so that Scruffenstein could see the floor was covered with thousands of snakes.
Scruffenstein screamed and leapt onto the couch, staring around in horror at the snakes. He began to scratch at his skin frantically. He felt like there were millions of things crawling on him. In a flash, his feeling turned out to be correct. Suddenly, he found himself covered with black widow spiders.
He screamed again, louder this time if possible, and frantically tried to knock all the spiders off. He was having difficulty staying on the couch away from the snakes while he swatted at the spiders. Then the floor began to rumble.
"What else?!" Scruffenstein screamed. I laughed again.
One by one, a dozen spiked iron rods shot up through the floor. Each was adorned with a horribly mangled and disfigured human corpse. With the corpses came rats…thousands of rats. Scruffenstein fell to the floor and was quickly lost to view under thousands of snakes and rats. The only sign that he was still there was the constant wailing scream.
A fire appeared in the fireplace and licked out, much as it had the first night that Beetlejuice had been out. The drapes caught fire first, followed closely by the sofa. The flickering firelight mixed with the ethereal green light supplied by Beetlejuice, making the room appear to be a dungeon.
I was getting impatient. I mean sure, he was frightened. He was covered in spiders, snakes, and rats. That's enough to make anyone's heart stop. But I knew by the fact that he was still screaming that it wasn't hurting him. They were just crawling on him. I wanted more. I looked at Beetlejuice, willing him to continue.
--
The ghoul caught the ghost's look and knew it was time to make an appearance. Honestly, he didn't have a choice. He felt the ghost's power urging him to take on the snake body. He didn't have any objection.
He concentrated for a moment and felt himself transform. He decided to make his entrance through the fireplace this time. As he emerged, the sea of vermin parted to reveal the breather. The breather lay screaming and scrabbling at his skin. Slowly, the breather realized he was no longer covered in vermin and opened his eyes. What he saw filled him with more horror, more dread, than any combination of creatures.
The ghoul smiled his insane smile and began to wind his tail around the breather's body. This part would be a repeat of their last meeting, unfortunately. There just wasn't much one could do in a snake's body that didn't involve death, and the ghoul didn't want to kill the breather. He didn't want to get in that kind of trouble this soon after making his (third) afterlife debut. Besides, after this the breather would most definitely be moving out. With these facts in mind the ghoul settled on a simple pick-up-and-drop method.
The ghost's mind invaded his own as he picked up the breather. She wasn't happy with his plan. She wanted the breather to suffer and die. She was exerting her will against his, trying to bend his powers to her bidding. He fought her off, not wanting to give up control again. She screamed in frustration.
"What do you want from me?!" The breather screamed out. He had heard the ghost's frustrated screech.
"What do I want?" The ghost replied in a haunting tone. "I want you to pay. You stole my life, you son of a bitch. You will pay for my life with blood!"
The ghoul was forcibly transformed back into his own form and blown back against the wall. He looked to the ghost, and saw her elevated off the floor. Her hair fanned out around her head, blown by an ethereal wind. As he watched, spellbound, the ghost transformed herself into a graceful she-lion and pounced on the breather.
"Don't do it!" The ghoul shouted, but it was too late.
The ghost mauled the breather. Bits of flesh and blood spattered the ghoul as the ghost ripped the breather apart. When she was done, nothing remained of the breather but a small pile of gore and bone. The ghost threw back her lion head and roared in a way that woke even the deadest of the dead.
"Well, shit, babe." The ghoul couldn't think of anything else to say. He knew Juno would know immediately that the breather was toast. It was only a matter of time before Juno called them both back to the netherworld and that would be the end of his time out. And he had just been getting started…
He couldn't help but look at the ghost's handiwork in awe. It was something he could easily have done himself, but she had brought a sense of style to the act. The ghoul was impressed.
The ghost slowly changed back into herself. The strength of her supernatural power was palpable and, quite frankly, exciting. The last shred of the ghoul's humanity, the shred that he had been ignoring, his abject loneliness flooded over him and mixed with the passion of the moment. The ghost looked at him, still floating above the floor. She was filled with a passion of her own. She flew at the ghoul, and he met her half way.
Their bodies converged, their mouths seeking each other out. They fell to the floor, a tangle of searching mouths and fingers. Fabric ripped, and cold flesh met cold flesh. They rocked in time with one another, their bodies nearly bursting with passion and excitement. Moans and sighs echoed in the apartment, now devoid of all they had wrought except the pile of gore that used to be the breather. When their passions reached their peak, the entire house shook with the spending of their twin energies. The mirror above the fireplace shattered, as did every window in the apartment. When their passion had finally abated, a very naked ghoul and an equally naked ghost lay side by side on the floor and slept.
They weren't fated to know this, but their otherworldly lovemaking was in fact enough to drive the rest of the tenants out of the apartment house. As the ghoul had predicted, in years to come the land lord would never be able to rent out another apartment.
When the spent pair woke, they were faced with the consequences of their nocturnal activities.
