Summary: Draco Malfoy: 17-year old rich boy. Harry Potter: 17-year old orphan who gets adopted by the Malfoys. The catch? Harry and Draco are both just a little bit gay. The problem? They're practically related.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't believe, don't wish to be sued.
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And so do you know what I did? No? Yes? Maybe? Alright, then. I'll tell you what I did.
"KABOOM!" I yelled loudly, throwing my arms in the air and flapping them side to side like a mentally retarded maniac. Harry jumped and fell off of the bed, and I, being the nice person I was, pointed a finger at him and laughed. Like a mentally retarded maniac.
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Harry POV
During the two weeks I've lived with the Malfoys, I've learned many things. The many things that I learned were separated into three different categories. Those categories were 'the unimportant things', 'the important-but-also-not-very-important things' and 'the your-complete-existance-depends-on-knowing-these-things-because-if-you-don't-know-these-things-you'll-get-your-balls-kicked, things.'
For example, a few things that I've learned that belong in the 'unimportant' category are simple bits of information such as, 'The Malfoy mansion is really, really big, meaning that it is very easy to get lost in it', which was the very first thing that I learned when I first got here. Another piece of unimportant information is that 'the Malfoys have got a lot of servants and maids who always follow your orders, no matter how idiotic or senseless they are'. These belong in the unimportant section because... well... it's pretty unimportant and useless.
Now, in the 'important-but-also-not-very-important' section, I've learned things such as, 'The Malfoys are super rich, meaning that they can buy anything and everything they want because they've got all the money in the world to last them a lifetime', and also 'Narcissa Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy and also their unbelievably good-looking (a.k.a. SEXY) son, Draco Malfoy spend at least an hour or more in the morning to groom, pamper and make themselves look pretty.' These belong in the 'important-but-also-not-very-important' category because knowing that the malfoy family (not including myself, of course) takes forever to groom themselves could be pretty important, but at the same time not very important.
That didn't even make sense, but whatever.
Finally, in the 'your-complete-existance-depends-on-knowing-these-things-because-if-you-don't-know-these-things-you'll-get-your-balls-kicked' section, there are various bits of information that I find are almost considered vital, because without knowing the things in this section, you will, very easily, die a painful death. That, or suffer a long and inhuman torture filled with castration, sexual deprivation, genital areas filled with crabs, genital warts and a veritable plethora of unmentionable and uncurable STDs. Oh, and let's not forget the teletubbies. BEWARE THE TELETUBBIES.
For example, merely two hours ago I learned that Draco Malfoy, the Malfoys' son (not to mention my 'brother' with whom I nearly had sexual intercourse with) and heir, did not like spiders. In fact, he abhorres them.
I learned this lovely piece of information when we were both lounging outside - less than two hours ago, might I remind you - , sitting against the tree trunk of a beautiful Golden Weeping Willow in the backyard when I told Draco, whose head was on my stomach, that a nice, big and hairy spider was crawing up his arm. And it was true! There really was a nice, big and hairy spider crawling up his arm. Not that I blame it, though. What kind of creature wouldn't want to be crawling up Draco's arm?
Anyway, what happened next gave me cold, hair-raising shivers, temporary deafness and gave me the urge to crawl into a small corner, curl up in a ball and cry for my mother. Which is really sad, in a pathetic sort of way, since I don't really have a mother. ...well, there's Narcissa, but she's more of a really cool, loving, favorite, mother-hen-type aunt to me than a mother.
In other words, Draco shrieked, cried, screamed and shouted so loud that it resembled that of a woman giving birth to a baby beluga whale while getting her skin waxed and at the same time watching Donald Trump give a hooker a striptease. Terrifying, I know.
After the hair-raising, deafening scream of his, Draco bolted up and started running round in circles, shaking his arms and rubbing and scratching on his skin as if it was coated in some sort of toxic waste that absolutely had to be removed. Again, I'm not too sure if that made sense, but, again, whatever. Draco kept running for five minutes straight and because he kept shaking and wiggling his body, he seriously looked like a mentally-retarded, untalented, completely drunk dancer. No, really. At the moment, you could've sworn he was dancing (and very badly, mind you). And if he was dancing, then he would be the William Hung of all dancers. The most untalented of the untalented.
So, naturally, I burst out laughing.
I couldn't help it, but I did. Who wouldn't? So I just up and started laughing like a hyena on crack - and believe you me, I laughed so hard that I swore that I pissed myself. Tears were flowing down my face and I had the worst stictch in my side ever.
And when Draco heard me laugh, he stopped his little dance and then glared at me. He yelled something along the lines of, 'it's not funny, you little prick!', and I replied with a, 'yes, it totally is!', earning me a painful smack to the head. I knew then that I probably should have apologized and stopped laughing, but somehow I just laughed even more than I did before, which turned out to be a very, very bad thing to do.
Draco decided to play the 'I'm a furious seventeen-year-old so I am going to do something mean-slash-evil to get back at you' card, so he smacked me again - this time way harder than the first one - and yet again, I did the wrong thing and burst out laughing again (but not after rubbing my head in pain). And that's when Draco magically turned evil and did something completely unexpected of him:
He kicked me in the balls. Hard.
I thought for a moment that I had died and swore that I could see my life - however short and boring it was - flashing before my eyes. But I knew I was still alive because of the searing and excrutiating pain coming from between my legs. I remember crying out, 'OH, GOD MY FUTURE CHILDREN! MY PRECIOUS LITTLE SWIMMERS!' in pain before rolling to my side on the grass and covering my crotch with my two hands. It hurt.
Draco, however, ignored my pitiful pleas of mercy and made a 'hmph!' sound before stomping his way back to the manor while yelling things like, 'Harry Potter, you're a bloody horrible person' and 'I'm never, ever going to sleep with you!'.
And I was left alone under the willow tree, cradling my aching family jewels while moaning in pain.
And when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it started to rain. Hard. And not just the 'pleasant little summer drizzle' sort of rain; it was the 'ohmigod, painful liquid lazers are falling out of the sky and hurting my skin' sort of rain. So in a short span of two minutes, I was completely drenched. Soaked to the bone. Wet.
Sadly, all I could do was lie in the grass, waiting for the pain to go away - and when it did, I bolted upright and ran straight for the manor, trying as best as I could to shield my already sopping wet body from the rain. Once I got to the door, I searched my pocket for the keys, but when I couldn't find them, I started pressing the doorbell non-stop. I mean, come on! Someone was bound to hear the doorbell freaking out, right? Especially with all of the servants and maids in there...
After what felt like an eternity, Draco popped up glared at me from behind the door (there was a thick, see-through glass on the door. period.) but he did not open it. I glared back and started banging on the door, cursing out loud rather colorfully but Draco continued to glare and occasionally bring one of his hands up to look at his nails but he never. opened. the door.
Soon enough, my teeth started clattering and my skin was slowly turning blue. That was how cold I was. And I think that it was the time that my lips turned purple-ish that Draco finally opened the door and let me in. In two seconds flat, the floor that I stood on was completely wet and if the puddle of water that now surrounded me was yellowish, you'd think that I accidently pissed myself. Which I didn't. Honestly.
I looked up to yell at Draco but he was already marching up the staircase, obviously headed for his room. I followed him not because I wanted to get to him (well, actually, a part of me did), but because my bedroom was right next to his. So I jogged to the stairs and ran up as fast as possible to catch up with Draco.
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"Dray-koooo! Open the door!"
"No!"
I banged my hand on the door, gritting my teeth. To tell you the truth, I never really understood why exactly Draco was so angry at me. OK, I laughed at him, but still! That couldn't just be it! So here I am on my merry mission to try and get Draco to tell me why he was pissed.
"Just open the door, Draco!" I yelled, still banging on the door. "Please?"
"Never!"
"Come on! Please?" I tried again, this time kicking the door with my feet. "Pretty please?"
"I said no, Potter!"
"Pretty please with a naked picture of me on top?"
"I've already seen you naked, moron, no!"
"Then at least tell me what I did!" I said, my voice considerably lower than before. And when I got no response from Draco, I kicked the door for good mesure - hard. The pain shot up into my leg and I fell back, my foot in my hands, cursing and screaming in pain. My toes hurt SO. BAD.
Oh, looky, folks! I've learned something new! 'Never kick a thick, strong, wooden door extremely hard if you are A) barefoot or B) in your socks, because it hurts.'
And, to my surprise, Draco opened his door, staring at me with his arms crossed. He was tapping his foot and had a scrunched-up, sour look on his face. He looked like he was torn between insulting me or bursting out in laughter. He shook his head and muttered, "Moron," before bending down and giving me his hand to pull me up. Once I was on my feet, my toes still aching from kicking the door, Draco crossed his arms again and looked at me with a 'what-do-you-have-to-say-for-yourself' expression.
"OK, Harry, I opened the door. Now what?" He said.
I laughed sheepishly and scratched the back of my head with my hand and grinned. "Umm, I'm sorry for .. for laughing at you?" I tried. Hopefully, that was what he wanted to hear from me.His expression didn't change at all. He merely raised an eyebrow and began tapping his foot again.
"Er... And... And also.."
I racked my brain for something to say until aha! A simple-yet-brilliant idea crossed my mind. I opened my mouth, gave Draco the 'I'm-so-adorable-so-you-can't-stay-mad-forever-even-if-you-try' look and hoped for the best.
"I love you?"
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A/N. It's disgustingly short, I know. But don't kill me - yet. I have a horrible case of writers block and - GASP. I can't think of anything to write. BUT I already know the idea for the next chapter, so hopefully it'll be easier to write up. Please review, bcause they make me feel warm and mushy inside (actually, they crack me up - in a good way) and they're the things that make me wanna keep writing. :D
OH. OOOH. Also, I have an important (?) question/thing to say.
This story is written in the first person (both Harry's AND Draco's, as you guys know) but I'm really not sure if its such a great idea. I mean, sure, it's great to be able to see how the character is thinking, but I was wondering if you guys would prefer me write this story in the 3rd person or continue writing like this. yeah, so you loverly people can just.. tell me what you would prefer in your reviews. Or just PM me about it. whatever. : )
I love jooo !!
and the kicking the door really hard with bare feet thing? That was based on true events. With my buddy Scott:D
