Chapter 8 "Secrets and Clues"

Disclaimer: not mine.

*****

If you deceive someone you love in order to protect them...is that a bad thing?

And if so, how do you know it is?

Dad. He should know. He always seems to know what is the right thing to do. Actually, he makes it seem so simple that I don't know why I'm having this talk with myself right now; I bet he doesn't have to work so hard to reach conclusions. It is as if it's within himself, a part of him so rooted inside that he doesn't know how not to do it, as if he was born that way. Well, I wasn't. My father was his family's sworn enemy. So by blood, good is not within me, I guess. Dad always says that our blood does not dictate our lives. But Lex was...is all about blood and fate, and destiny, and he...he made me doubt myself, think that maybe there was a dark side that didn't need nurturing to get outside. I'm a mess. Do I tell them? What if Lex did something to me and we don't know it and then I go and hurt them and--

"I do know one thing I don't like."

The voice, so sudden, jerked Chris out of his thoughts, turning around briskly to the cheerful voice.

"Now my two boys are taller than me. My neck is not happy about it, kiddo."

Chris smiled at Lois, unable to do anything else but that. And decided he would leave all those confusing feelings aside for now. "That's too bad, mom," he said matching her playful tone. "Your hugs feel warm and good as that very first time you took me from that bus. Am I not getting anymore of those?"

"Keep that pouting puppy-eyed face of yours attached to that cuteness and you'll have to unglue me using your Dad's strength."

Chris' face lightened. "So it worked?"

"Like a cookie with a dog. Come here."

Chris approached and embraced Lois, trying to find in her slender body the comfort he sought. Her inner strength made her at least twice her real size. When he met Clark, one of the things he told him was that humans were different, and he had to control his strength, but that didn't mean they were weak. Then he heard for the first time in his life the name of Lois Lane. Clark told him about the woman he loved, and how he always felt stronger when she was around him. Chris would know about that mysterious force soon enough.

"So you won't give up your hugs?," he asked.

"I guess I can always ask Smallville for extra back and neck rubs."

Chris broke the embrace and looked at her serious.

"Mom."

"Yes?," she replied nonchalantly.

He let one side of his lip curve upwards. "Aren't I supposed to be too young to listen to those things?"

Lois approached the bed to sit down, followed by Chris.

"I was hoping your imagination was underdeveloped."

"I'm afraid it's not," he announced as he sat down.

Lois rolled her eyes. "Mother to a teenager. So now I have to watch my tongue for all new different reasons," she added, warming up at the thought of the implications of those reasons.

"How are you feeling, mom?" Chris asked out of the blue.

As out of the blue as having Lois completely surprised and clueless by the sudden question.

"Chris, where did that come from, sweetie?"

His prior light mood had changed completely into a frown of such depth that he scarily reminded her of Clark when something was really troubling him.

"I'm concerned about you, Mom," he simply said. "You know, me, this, the circumstances."

Lois turned so she could look at him directly into the eyes, and she guided them into hers with her hand on his chin. "Chris, I don't really care about the circumstances," she said. "The important thing is that you're here with us now."

"You...you seem happy, but--"

"But what?," she asked concerned now.

"Shouldn't you be angry?"

Lois was struck; she would never have expected that coming from Chris.

"Chris, sweetie, why would you think that?"

He tried to explain without revealing his inner fears about himself. He only wanted to know how she felt, have a reference to help him deal. "I...I was kidnapped for a long time, and you seem like you don't care about that, like all you care about is the here and now. I thought maybe you needed to deal or something."

Lois was very serious now, with all the intentions of making Chris understand.

"Chris, I care about that. And it pains me to know what you've been through." As a pure reflect act, she passed her finger through the side of his head, like when she used to place his longer hair behind his ear. They had cut it in a military style. "But I also feel happy and grateful for having you back, and that, amongst everything," she emphasized, "is the most important thing of all. Understood?"

Chris nodded.

"I don't want you to see me mad, Chris, that is something you should not see before knowing completely how happy and grateful I am to have you back."

So she felt anger. "You're mad at him then?"

"At Lex?"

"Yes."

"You don't have the slightest idea."

"I don't want you to go after him, Mom." It came out naturally, he didn't even think about it. Nor would Lois ever realize how incredibly welcomed had been her following words.

"Clark, get out of his body. Now."

If Lois, who was the person who knew Clark best in all the world and she was comparing him with Chris...that was good, right?

"Chris, sweetie, I don't want you to be worried about this, ok?"

"I just wondered how you felt, that's why I asked. But I don't want you getting hurt because you want to...kick Luthor's a--butt," he quickly corrected himself.

One of her eyebrows rose. "Talking to Dinah too much?"

He blushed a little. Was that also a kryptonian trait or just a power she held on this race of aliens? Because sure as hell no other hero blushed as those two. Well. Maybe Ollie. Long ago.

"Sweetie, I'm not going to fight Lex just like that, I have my own weapons; they're called words. Lex is far more dangerous and insidious and devious than you may think, that's why he's still alive and free, we can't just go against him without support, it's like confronting an army with a flute."

"Or with carnations?"

"What?"

"The Carnation Revolution...in Portugal?," he said quietly when he noticed Lois' eyes were rolling backwards in an 'I can't believe this' way. All it took him was two seconds to put his puppy face back. "I...read it in a book," he said almost apologizing.

Lois kept the teasing tone. "And there I thought my husband was the only encyclopedia I would have to deal with."

Eyes opened wide. "You got married?"

"You kryptonians will never let me make my points at peace, will you?"

Chris smiled lightly. "It was a reflect act, sorry, Mom."

"Well, if I taught Clark to keep his vast knowledge to himself, I guess I can teach you too."

"For what is worth, I got the point."

"And don't worry, kiddo, eventually we will kick Luthor's butt."

If Lois said it, he could believe it.

***

This had been the first time Dick had come to the cave since he visited Chloe at her apartment.

The reason of his absence had been a mission with the Titans, filling in for Vic's absence as he filled in for Oracle's at the League. Bruce had assured him that being a couple of days away their investigation wouldn't make a difference, and by the time he came back, hopefully he would be able to have some of the data confirmed. And he was right. He had a name.

"So, Shiva?," asked Dick.

Bruce nodded. "But she didn't do it alone."

It hurt more than he had thought. Suddenly they had a name. He could put a face on one of the people who killed...them. He clenched his fists as hard as he could to maintain calm. And thought of Shiva and the implications imbricated on it. "Does Dinah know?"

Bruce simply shook his head no, with no further explanation, and continued updating him. "We must let her think she's off the hook while we look for the rest."

"And what about the data Babs took from Lex?," he asked Chloe.

Her face turned into a huge apology, even if unneeded. "I haven't been able to open all the files Barbara recovered, but I'm positive that none of them is linked to her death, they're all about Lex's facilities."

"Lex Luthor is good, Dick, he doesn't leave traces," added Bruce.

"It's not much," he stated as a matter-of-fact, not as an accusation.

"Believe me, Dick," assured Chloe, "Lex has been doing this for years. He knows how not to be caught."

"Bruce has also done his job for years." He paused. "And you, even if you changed your name."

Again, not an accusation, but it stung a little. And it led to a question hovering inside her head for several weeks now. Chloe hesitated, though. Dick seemed a real sweet man. He seemed like a good-natured man hit by life, full force, several times. And still he wasn't knocked out. He was probably finding solace in the goal of their current job, but still...she remembered the pain when she lost Jimmy. It was like having a million needles in your brain and heart that you could not take away but one by one; if you got lucky, maybe one o two per day. But one would always be there, never letting go. He seemed to be in a point where the pain was bearable. Maybe all the previous blows had hardened him; losing her mother had had that effect on her, and the fact that she was still alive made it the more painful; Jimmy had been the coup de grace. After that, dealing with the loss of a leg was a walk in the park, she'd felt as if complaining for being alive was the most ridiculous thing to do, even more after her first meeting with Barbara at the hospital, a direct friendly punch to the head to make her see that all in all, she was lucky.

Maybe because Dick seemed nice, because he deserved it and because Chloe didn't want to hurt him, she asked him.

"Does it bother you that I'm Oracle?"

Bruce simply kept working. That was something they needed to deal with, the sooner the better. He didn't even looked at Dick's reaction. Which was, at first, silence.

Dick turned looking at her wordless, for a second, not knowing what to say.

"I mean, the symbol," she quickly explained. "The fact that you have to watch it. The fact that everybody calls me Oracle and only a few know the truth," she added quietly.

Dick looked at her, his face unreadable. Finally he talked. Soft and honest. "A long time ago I was wise enough to separate Babs from Oracle. I cannot lie to you, Chloe, it pains to see it," he said looking at her screen displaying the green mask. "But it is not a common place for me."

"A common place?," she asked thinking she understood but needing the explanation nonetheless.

"When you build your life with a person, no matter the relationship, you share common places. A house, a spot under a tree, a song, a word. You inevitably link that person to them. Those places, I cannot visit them," he admitted. "They burn inside. The mask is different."

Chloe waited in silence for him to continue.

"Babs created Oracle, it was her way out ticket from her own hell, the way she fought to find herself again, to still make a difference when she no longer could be Batgirl. So Oracle meant something to her. And I was grateful for that." Absentmindedly, he opened a drawer, and his eyes met something he would've never expected to find inside the cave. Hiding his reaction, he looked at Bruce. He knew he cared, and he hurt, even though he was doing his best to hide it. He closed the drawer, deciding that it was the best place for Babs' doll to be, and kept talking. "But eventually, although she never let that pain and hatred for The Joker really go away, she managed to stay up on the ground, standing on her own two wheels, as she would say it. It was then that Oracle became a job. And that's how I saw it. No one can replace Babs, Chloe," he explained, "but Oracle is just an empty mask with a brilliant mind behind. And it should not be anything else but that."

She didn't know if Dick had meant it, but those last words felt directed to her.

Their conversation, however, was interrupted by Bruce. "I have another name," he announced.

Both turned to look at him.

"Zsasz."

Chloe was familiar with the name, but had only looked for what Bruce had asked of her; but Dick knew him. And knew what he was. And knew what exactly had been his role in Barbara's death. He fought really hard to keep himself anchored to the ground.

"I've been tracking him for a few weeks," he told Dick. "I visited him last night. He's got a new scar."

"You 'visited' him?," asked Dick still forcing himself to wait for Bruce's explanation.

"I drugged him in his sleep, he won't remember a thing."

"Bruce, why didn't you bring him in?," he asked, this time a hint of impatience in his voice.

Chloe merely listened. It was obvious that they both knew what was Bruce talking about, and she suspected it had to be with this person's involvement in Barbara's death. Shiva, a cold assassin with a personal component attached to, at least, Dinah. Now what?

"I had to be sure the scar tissue matched the date. I couldn't do it until I analyzed a tissue sample."

Scars? Now Chloe wasn't very sure she wanted to know.

Dick tried to deal with the news with the coldest mind he could, despite himself. And this time he really wanted Bruce to be wrong, for once in his life. A stranger plunging the knife into her body, that, as heart-wrenching as it was, he could take himself to think, he would be doing that as a job. But he had seen Zsasz kill. There was always a pleasure, pride, a sick lust in the kill, followed by a self-inflicted scar on his body to keep count and wear with pride. Damned that Lex Luthor. "Bruce, Zsasz is a lunatic, he could've killed anybody at that time."

"But he hasn't."

The words fell hard. Chloe started to understand.

"He'll notice somebody tampered with his body, he nurtures those scars, Bruce."

"I know. He'll probably leave the city."

"And you want that," said Dick in confirmation.

"Bruce, you asked me to keep an eye on his bank accounts movements, is that why?" Despite their differences and her reserves towards Bruce, Chloe had known to trust him. With everything going on at that time, she hadn't asked for reasons when he had told her to trust him and to lose as less time a she could on this guy.

"Yes."

The knowledge didn't agree with Dick, though. "You knew he had something to do with this from the beginning?"

"I had my suspicions, Dick. But I had to be sure. And we knew he wasn't alone, I couldn't go after him before knowing who are the rest."

"And now you let him get away?

"Oracle is monitoring him, Dick. If he moves, we'll know when and where."

"That is not very practical, Bruce," said Chloe. "Doesn't it make this more complicated. I still haven't the slightest idea of Shiva's whereabouts, but chances are it is not in the States. We still don't know about the third party and the only one close home might leave pushed by you."

"Gotham City is not Lex Luthor's playground, Miss Sullivan. I won't let it happen. And the further they are, the more difficult for him to control any contingency."

Chloe could imagine a blank stare behind that cowl. But as usual, his reasoning was logical.

"Once we have the names this will go to the Justice League. And the League has the means to put together as many teams as necessary As far as I'm concerned, the further they go, the better."

"Ok, Bruce. You're the expert. I'll trust you."

***

"So how does it work?"

Emil looked through the microscope. "I wanted to see how your sperms react to the elements that affect your body. I exposed a batch to green kryptonite, the remaining sample, to solar cells."

"How can that make them compatible with Lois?"

"That's not my goal here, Clark," explained Emil.

"I don't..."

Emil sat back and turned towards Clark. "I have a theory. If we actually make this happen, there is a series of variables we must take into account, and, as I mentioned you, one of them is knowing how would Lois' body react were she pregnant with a half kryptonian baby. I don't want to take any chances, Clark, and the mother's safety is my primal concern."

Clark breathed. "Emil, if there's the slightest chance that this puts Lois' life in danger--"

"Lois will assume any risk necessary, Clark, I know her. And you have to know that there will be risks, but I have my boundaries, which I'm not willing to cross. If I see a serious threat to her life I won't carry on any procedure."

"Do you promise me you'll tell her the same when she comes?"

Emil nodded. "I will, Clark."

"So what were the results?," he finally asked.

"As I figured, your sperm reacts the same to both."

"So the ones exposed to the sun..."

"Direct exposure makes them stronger, so the embryo would be affected by sunlight, obviously at a lesser scale, which is good news," said Emil half smiling. "But I found something more."

"What?"

"Their structure. As I suspected, it's apparently identical to ours. Though they don't seem to behave the same." Emil looked at him. "They don't move. It's as if they don't know where to go."

"My physiology is not exactly the same as yours, so I guess kryptonian women is also different?"

"I'm guessing the whole reproductive kryptonian system is different, Clark. Your sperm is, for a lack of a better word, lost inside a female human body."

"I always assumed I could not procreate because I wasn't from this planet, and my sperm was different, but this one never occurred to me."

"Clark, if your reproduction worked as in humans, your sperm would have behaved the same, and there is a big chance Lois would've been impregnated by you at some point."

Clark realized. "But then--"

"She would've miscarried. Like you said, you're a different species. Has she ever said something about her period being irregular? Or cramps?"

"No. No, she hasn't. And she's not precisely a shy person about her body. She says it works like clockwork."

"Clark, it might be useful to talk to Kara," said Emil finally. "I think her help might be crucial."

"I understand. I'll call her. Thank you, Emil."

*****

Notes: ok, I'm not sure I just made a mistake that cannot be corrected, but I just realized while I was editing this chapter. We all know that Clark and Lois are not married in this arc. Lois doesn't feel the need to tie the knot with Clark. I'm not sure about how laws work with adoptions in the States (it didn't even occur to me that I should research it) or the kind of arrangement that Clark and Lois made with Chris when he arrived that first time. In the comics they are married by that time. So I'm just going with a 'Bruce did some magic because he was not going to be the one to tell Lois she should get married. Although it would've been fun to tease the alien that way'. So I hope that if anybody noticed it and sees it as a mistake...they will buy my excuse and agree with Batman.

Carnation Revolution: for those who don't know, it is a military coup that enabled democracy in Portugal changing it from an authoritarian dictatorship without using any violence, back in 1974.

During Link, Batman returns to the Clocktower, and mourns privately, finding and taking with him the little Batgirl doll Barbara always had with her (the doll is comic-canon, anybody having read Birds of Prey will know of it).

Zsasz was my first pick, because I remembered him from a story where all inmates escape from Batman, whose biggest threat at the moment is Bane. It wasn't deliberate, but when I was editing this chapter, I noticed that Dick's approach was a little cold, and it felt wrong because despite he's better now and they are all this bunch of stoic heroes, he lost a lot, and I thought it should be mentioned, even if he's this very stoic guy.

Music notes: For Chris' mixture of doubts and determination: Pearl Jam 'Indifference'. You know, I keep trying to avoid flooding soundtracks with Pearl Jam songs, but dammit, Eddie is so freaking good with lyrics I can't help it. (link for soundtrack still not uploaded, I haven't finished it yet).