Chapter 9

I feel like I've split two different ways, part of me feels a lot better for talking to Stef about things the other night, but the other half of me feels guilty that I'm still keeping secrets. Jesus and I have been meeting in the bathroom every night to talk and kiss and stuff. I can't lie anymore. The only thing to do is end it with Jesus, I know I could tell AJ what I did, but I'm not ready for that yet. So the first thing I do on Saturday morning is wait for everyone to go out, I know he's waiting too, but I'm just going hurt him. The second the last Adams-Fosters leaves, I run upstairs to his room.

"Finally, I've hardly got to see you this week," He takes my waist and kisses me and again it feels so right, "Are you alright? You seem tense," He takes my hand and we sit on his bed.

"Jesus, I know you said you would do this for me, keep this secret, but it's eating me alive, Stef and Lena and all the others are so good to me, and I'm betraying all of them,"

"No you're not, don't think of it that way,"

"There's no other way to think of it, I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore," I burst into tears and run out of his room, I grab my purse from my room and leave the house. I run for a little while and find myself standing outside of Girls United. I stare up to the window of the room that I used to share with Kiara, "Why am I here?" I say to myself.

"Maybe you missed me," I hear Gabi's voice from behind me.

"Gabi, shouldn't you be inside?" I ask her, she approaches me in a slow way.

"No, I got out, I live with Daphne now, until I make enough money for my own place, shouldn't you be at your new foster home?" She circles me, giving me that smirk she always does.

"Stuff's hard right now, I had to get out with me, if you don't live here then why are standing outside like me? Stuff hard for you too?"

"No, I'm picking up the rest of my stuff, come on," She randomly takes my hand and pulls me up the steps, "You can help me," I don't resist and I go with her to the door, Rita lets us in and she starts to chat but Gabi ignores her and pull me upstairs to her old room, no one else is in there, I sit down on her bed, I thought she would start getting her stuff together but she just sits next to me and stares at me, smirking still.

"Why do you always look at me like that?" I smirk back, making it a sexy as possible, that's what she does.

"Cuz you're hot," It takes me aback, "Oh come on, don't act like you haven't noticed, I could never take my eyes off of you when you were here, and I know you think I'm hot too,"

"Sounds more like you know you're hot,"

"So you admit it, you think I'm hot?" I look away.

"I guess, I don't know," She takes my chin and turns my head to face hers again, I have nothing to lose now, "Fine, you're hot," I lean in and kiss her, she doesn't resist in the slightest, she pushes me back and climbs on top of me, it goes on for quite a while. Kissing her is a lot different that Jesus, she really goes for it, and I like that.

"Wow," She sits up, "Better than I thought you'd be, here," She pulls my phone out of my phone to put her number in, "Call me," She hands it back to me and grabs a bag and then just leaves.

She literally left me in her bed. I leave the house without being noticed. I don't know where to go now, I still can't go home cuz Jesus is there, I can't go to school cuz it's a Saturday, I can't go see AJ because I'll feel too guilty, Callie's working, Mariana's studying with Emma who hates me for some reason, Jude is with his boyfriend. And Stef and Lena are out spending the day together. I'm alone. I'm so confused now, I don't like Gabi in that way, but that was fun and carefree, but I know I couldn't tell anyone about a relationship like that, and I just can't take it anymore, all these goddam secrets.

As I cross the road, I forget to look and suddenly hear the sound of a car screeching towards me, but it's too late, there's no time to move. Everything flashes before me as I hear the impact the car makes with my body. But it's like I'm watching it happen, I can't feel anything. Then it goes blurry, then dark, then black.