excuse typos and comment please

The narrow wooden hallway to the dining area is dark and dimly lit, providing the perfect cover for me to try to retrieve my senses, and calm the anger that has racked my body. I swear if it is the last thing I do, I will get Levi for this, and just when I had begun to think he wasn't all that bad. He has to go and do this to me. I can feel My body shaking. I need to get ahold of myself; I feel like a steaming pot of sexual tension right now. No matter how many deep breaths I take, I can't seem to get ahold of myself.

I reach the main room of the dining hall, a vast dark building with little Décor, packed with over 40 Wooden tables, all that seat six or more people at a time. In the middle of the room is a serving station, a wheeled metal cart that is brought in every meal time by a Middle Aged man from the kitchen staff, who happens to be most times than not dozed off in a chair nearby. Not wanting to wake the man up I quietly grab glass bowl and scoops one spoonful on watery and bland oatmeal into it. Wanting to be hidden I decide to settle into a seat that is tucked away in the farthest corner of the building.

I stir my oatmeal with a spoon trying to work up the courage to eat this slop they are trying to pass as edible, and when I can't seem to force a spoonful in my mouth, I instead lay my head in my hands. I am tired already and they day has nearly begun. To make things worse I still have a full day of training to do on top of having to deal with these feelings I never have in my life felt before, it's frustrating that Being relatively new to this whole sex thing. I have no clue how to cope or deal with the needs Levi has awaken inside of me. I find myself most definitely wishing now more than anything that I had more experience in this department because if I did, I would be able to get him back for this in the same agonizing way. Maybe I should have gotten some experience with Jean before getting involved with someone like Captain Levi. Without a doubt, Levi had the upper hand when it came to many things. Rank, age, fighting, ability, and sexual experience. So how could I find a way to get back at him, I can't ask Sasha for advice or anyone else, and the only thing that seemed to be a sore spot for him is Eren. I had found that out last night very quickly by the way he reacted when I had mocked him asking him why I would pick him over Eren. It was a clear give away that, that was the only weakness I had to use against him but even now as mad as I am I know I could never do that to him, it would feel like a very low blow. Could I maybe just do the same to him bring him to the edge them leave him hanging? I shake my head. he would probably overpower me again, and for all, I know with the way things seem to be going in every one of our sexual encounters, I would probably like that. Something has to be wrong with me I can't think of any other reason I would like what he does to me.

I sit quietly musing about how to get back at Levi when I catch a glimpse of my favorite brown hair boy, groggily making his way toward me. I drop my current thoughts of Levi and what I can and cannot do about him and Focus instead on acting as calm as I can before the person I love the most in this world gets to me. My heart is pounding in My chest, but I smile at Eren as if everything is fine.

"You're up early," Eren mumbles sleepily taking the seat next to me.

Erens clothes are slightly disheveled, and his brown hair still tousled from his sleep, his tired emerald green eyes are looking at the mushy heap of oatmeal piled into the green glass bowl with disgust

Affection for this boy wells up inside me but so does pain. I am so in love with the person next to me that it is overwhelming how much it hurts, knowing that I am letting this love go.

I swallow hard and will the pain to go away, push this down, act normal. This does hurt. This choice is what's best for both of us.

"I could say the same to you too, Eren. Since when do you ever show up to breakfast before five am?"

"It is Not by choice." Eren snaps. "Hanji wants to run some more test on me. She said that she wanted me to see her at five thirty. I can't just tell her no, now can I?"

The ever so familiar wave of Concern for him rises inside me. Making me immediately mad at Hanji for working him so hard. I know not to nag at Eren about this, but I can help it. I can't hold my concern back.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" I ask Eren. "it's serious bull shit that's she is this hard on you. "

"No, it's okay I can handle this."

"I'm serious, if you are tired, you need to tell her. You can't keep going on like this. You need your rest."

"I said It's okay, Mikasa jeez just drop it." his words are forced through his gritted teeth.

"But Eren I..."

"No! I don't want to hear any more." Eren abruptly slams his spoon down into his bowl, making the glass clink so loud that I think the glass may break, causing me to wince. "God Mikasa, I can take care of myself. I know my limit!"

I can feel the sting of angry tears wanted to swell up in my eyes. Great Eren is mad at me again. Can't say I'm surprised though this always happens when I voice my concerns for him. I put my spoon down and push my food away. My sudden sadness brought on by Erens angry outburst at me has dampened my appetite. I cannot figure out why he always gets so mad at me. I'm just worried for him. He pushes himself too hard. I don't want him to get injured. I couldn't stand for him to get hurt or worse, just because of his pride.

He closes his eyes and breathes in deep, rubbing his tired green eyes. I expect some more harsh word toward myself for worrying too much, but much to my surprise, Eren's tone has changed his voice softer now as he says to me "I don't want to fight with you, Mikasa. I feel like I haven't been able to spend much time with you lately. Can we just have a pleasant meal with each other without fighting for once?"

I nod my head, not trusting my voice not to crack if I muster a response.

I do just want to be able to be near him without us fighting. The whole reason I'm doing any of this is for him. All I have ever wanted was just to be near him. The fact that he too just wants us not to fight helps the sadness I was feeling and elevates my mood a tiny bit.

"Thank you," Eren says letting a sexy sleepy smile spread a crossed his face. My heart constricts. Push it back, Mikasa. You can't love him like this anymore. You are Levi's now. I say these things to myself over and over again as if the more I say these words to myself, they will somehow make how I feel for Eren disappear. I reach over to my bowl and scoop a spoonful of oatmeal in my mouth.

"So how did your talk with the captain go last night?"

Eren's question is an innocent one but the guilt of what happened last night hits me full force causing my body to Flush and get clammy. I almost choke on my mouthful of food. Clearing my throat, I Tucking my face into my scarf and I fight for some composer. Answering as calmly as I can

"I went well "my answer is short.

Eyebrow raised at me Eren presses "That's all, just it went well?"

I try to avoid his look and carefully think up a small lie" Yeah he showed up pretty late last night. I didn't want to keep him because he seemed busy, so I just told him that I would take him up on his offer and He said to meet him after breakfast today at his office."

I'm horrible at lying. I feel like Eren can see right through me. He is looking at me, but I can't seem to bring myself to make eye contact. I keep my gaze locked on my hands. I pick at my fingernails. Holding my breath, willing him to believe me.

When his hand covers mine, and I almost jump.

"Mikasa, are you ok?"

concern for me is evident in erens voice.

"Yeah, just nervous. It's a little intimidating, the thought of working with the captain. But I'll be fine "I try my hardest to make my voice sound natural despite the fact that it feels like I'm choking on the panic rising inside me.

The muscles of erens face relax, and the smile that I love so much returns to his face. "If you want, I can walk with you to the captain's office on my way to see Hanji. "Eren offers.

"You don't have to Eren if you don't want to. I'll be okay." I'm lying again. I want to be with Eren longer. I want him to walk with me to Levi's office. His hand over mine is searing hot and making the ache between my legs come to life again.

"No, I want to "he insists squeezing my hand under his. My heart skips. I don't want Eren to let my hand go, but he needs to. This contact is innocent, but it is making me question myself again.

I'm his sister. I will be a good sister to him. I repeat this in my head reminding myself that this is why I am going to be Levi's to be a good sister to Eren and protect him.

"Ok." force a smile at him even though it feels like I'm dying inside. I am the image of the perfect facade, smiling as if this isn't the beginning of letting this love go." but please eat some more before we leave Eren you need your strength to keep up with Hanji."

"Only if you do. You need to be able to keep up with the captain."

He has no idea how true those words are. The only reason I am forcing these revolting spoonfuls of oatmeal in my mouth is that I know I will need the strength to deal with Levi today.

Eren releases my hand from his grip and returns his attention back to his food. And I let myself breath. My heart is beating so hard right now. I have a feeling already that today is going to be a long one.

Commander Erwin sits before me at his great mahogany desk, in his spacious office. Where the walls are lined end to end with large bookcases, each one carrying the weight of hundreds of books. Erwin's collection of books is vast and impressive, but I can't lie, it bugs me to no end every time I walk in here and see dust gathering on every book and shelf. If given one day I could have this office sparkling; I have to remind myself though that the cleanliness of this office is none of my concern Also seeing the piles of paperwork and books scatter about the room says that even if I did put in the effort to clean his office. I'm sure the commander would have it cluttered up and dusty in no time.

The strong older man before me has his attention on one of the stacks of paper before him, as I wait impatiently for his attention to turn to me. It is early, and I want to get this meeting out of the way.

"I hadn't expected to see you so soon Levi. "Erwin doesn't even look up from his paperwork to acknowledge me. "Is it safe for me to assume that you have accomplished your task already?"

"Yes, it would seem so, sir. Ackerman appears to have taken the bait and will be now training under me. "

"That's great "A satisfied and relieved smile spreads across the older man's face, and I find myself amazed that The respected superior before me was worried that Mikasa would ruin Eren's progress and his plans. I wait for the commander to say more, and when he doesn't, I safely assume that our conversation is over. I'm eager to get out of here and back to my new assignment, "training " Mikasa. I had Left her with a reminder of me, but she is still going to be with Eren, and that for some reason bugs the shit out of me.

"Good, Levi you may go then. I'm sure you will be very busy from now on."

"Yes, sir."

I turn Ready to take my leave and head to my office. Mikasa Should be arriving soon. I need to get there before she does I don't need her snooping around my office or questioned by Petra, a small ginger haired girl who I had a one-night stand with a year ago but never seemed to get the clue I didn't want anything to do with her afterward. Ever since that night, she has always hung around annoyingly close to my office.

"Oh and Levi." commander Erwin calls to me."

"Yes?" I stop my hand lingering over the door knob before me.

"I know I shouldn't have to say this, but I want to make this clear. When I say distract Ackerman, I assume you know that I only mean you should keep the girl busy with training. You are not to get involved with her in a relationship more than friends at the most nor are you to sleep with her. If that were to happen, I shouldn't have to tell you the punishment for such a crime. Not only would the age difference be bad enough but she is a new recruit. Higher ups will not look at that situation lightly. "

Shit, I curse myself. One rule and I already broke it. Well no going back now.

"Do u understand Captain Levi?" Erwin press for my answer, annoyance is evident in his voice.

"Yes." I try my hardest to keep my voice calm even though I want to snap at my superior. " I got it, sir. And Your right you shouldn't have to say it. Now if you don't mind, I have to go."

I don't wait for his permission; I walk out the door all the while cursing myself on the inside. I had let my anger get the best of me and reacted on impulse last night. It's frustrating that whenever I am around that damn girl, I lose my sanity and the ability to make rational decisions. First in the woods, then the stables and again last night in her room. I had found myself saying and doing things I know I shouldn't have. I had promised to protect her and to protect that little dip shit Eren above and beyond my abilities if she became mine but what was I thinking? I couldn't have her; she could never be mine. I knew that now and I knew it then but what was I Supposed to say to explain my actions that night in the stables or my actions in general. I couldn't tell her that I had just come from sparring and seeing her small and crumpled on the ground, her body twitching from nightmares had affected me in a way that nothing ever had. It had tormented me that I couldn't save her from the unseen foe that attacked her. What was even worse is I couldn't understand why it affected me so much. I'm baffled even now by the fact that every lie I have told her has left me tormented and with a bad taste in my mouth, it was nothing me to me to lie to someone especially woman, but she somehow was different. The way She had fallen for every one of my words so quickly made me hate myself.

The reports I had read about Mikasa, had informed me that she had witnessed the murder of her parents at the age of nine. Eren Yeager had saved her, killing two of the intruder before getting caught off guard by another kidnapper, Leaving the responsibility to Mikasa to kill the man or watch Eren be killed. After that incident, Erens parent's grisha and Carla adopted the girl taking her in as their own but not shortly after the girl lost another family. The only people she cared about were Eren and their close friend Armin Arlert, a small blonde hair boy with no impressive skill in fighting but had the mind of a genius. They were all but inseparable those three, which is why I was so surprised when Eren brought up the idea for someone to distract Mikasa while he worked with Hanji. I could only imagine how it would hurt if she knew Eren had planned this. That while all she wanted to do was keep him safe, all he wanted was for her to leave him alone.

I stop and lean against a window half way down the hall from the commander's office; the sky outside is lighting up now blue hues mixed with gray clouds, and red tints illuminate the tree tops.

Fuck, I need to pull myself together. I need my focus, she is just a girl, damn it, just like the many before her. Get ahold of yourself. In time she will leave and fade away or be killed in action. I can't let my guard down. I'll do my job, and that's it I won't get attached I never have before, screwing her on the down low will just be a bonus ad when the assignment is over ill end it with her because she can't be mine.

That's easier said than done though because as I am repeating these things to myself my eyes happen to land on two people emerging from a pathway partially covered by trees.my fist clenches when I see the two individuals are Eren and Mikasa walking in the direction of my office. Mikasa's pink lips are turned up into a smile at something Eren has said. For some reason, the sight of this makes me angry, and before I can compose myself or think better of it, I find myself briskly walking down the hall ad out the side door to meet them.

"Yeager! Ackerman!" I shout from behind them causing them to stop in their tracks.

Mikasa is the first to turn around. Granting me a breathtaking the view of her delicate face surrounded but windblown strands of Onyx hair in the early morning glow. Instantly I feel the small tug of a smile forming, but I stop myself from letting it spread across my face.

Don't be ridiculous; Levi, pull yourself together I berate myself. What are you a school girl?

"Sir!" Eren stands tall; hand raised to his chest to salute me.

I turn my attention to Mikasa expectantly, she rolls her eyes and joins Yeager in a salute.

"Sir,"

There is no respect in the way she says, sir. Just blatant annoyance and anger masked by a very horrible attempt to cover her true feelings up with a calm voice. Tch, She's still mad at me. Good, it serves her right that's what she gets for being so difficult.

"We just in our way to your office, sir," Eren says his fist still raised to his chest.

"Both of you?" I ask, my eyebrow raised I look at the two before me in question.". If I remember correctly, I only asked for Mikasa to come to my office."

"Yes, you are right sir, I was only walking Mikasa to your office on my way to see hanji."

"What Ackerman can't walk alone without her boyfriend?" I sneer at the younger cadet before me.

"I'm not her boyfriend, sir. "Eren says defensively." I am only walking her because she said she was nervous about working with your today."

"Eren! " Mikasa scolds shooting him a look of betrayal.

I turn my attention to Mikasa amused.

"Is that so, Ackerman?"

The poor girl's face flushes red, and I can't help but fight the urge to pull her in to kiss her. She looks so frustrated trying to find the words to say while nervously biting her lower lip in a way that makes me want to groan. If Eren wasn't here, I would drag her to my office and have her bent over my desk.

"Yes, sir just a little."

I can tell from her tone this is a lie. She's not nervous she is still mad at me I can feel it in the way she is looking at me. She probably made up the excuse of her being nervous to change the subject in a conversation with Eren earlier or to get him to walk her to my office, which I am not going to lie, pisses me off.

"You'll be fine, Ackerman. Stop being such a wuss." Her gray eyes flash at that, and I can see her visibly trying to keep from scowling at me. "Yeager your excuse," I snap "I'll take Ackerman from her. You better get going."

"Yes, sir!" As the boy turns to leave, he shoots me a smile and a wink. That goes unnoticed by Mikasa who is too busy glaring at me.

God, I hate that boy! I think to myself. He is such a Smug little asshole.

"Quit glaring at me and Let's go, Ackerman."

"I'm not glaring."

"you are and its pissing me off. So quit it."

"yes, sir," Mikasa says sarcastically.

I smirk. How cute. If Mikasa is this energetic to be sarcastic and angry. I guess, I'll just have to work her extra hard today.