Me: Merry Christmas!!
Hidan: It isn't Christmas yet!!
Me: Well I don't know if I'll update before then!!!
Deidara: What about the people who don't celebrate Christmas?
Hidan: Yeah! I celebrate Jashinmas!! -.-
Me: Oh…HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Happy Hanukkah, we wish you a happy Kwanza and a happy new year! Good tidings we bring to you and your kin. We wish you a MERRYHAPPY CHRISTMAHANUKKWANSIKA!! And a happy new year!!!!!!!!!
All: O.o
Me: I love that XD IMPORTANT!!!!! Due to recent classified events (I was abducted by aliens) I may not be able to update next week!
Deidara: She's going to her cousins' -.-
Me: Mhmm!! So I may not be able to type and shit!! I'll try my very best to get another chapter out this week, but I make no promises!!!
Oh and, PRAY FOR ME!! I love my cousins dearly but they're brother and sister and the brother…he yells and shit SO FUCKING MUCH!! Kami I told my mom I'll just slap him if they get into a fight! Or just scream at them…
Hidan: Just get on with it!! Just tell that that I'll come and sacrifice them to Jashin of they don't shut up!!
Me: I will do that!! I'll also be speaking Hidan-language!!
All: …?
Me: -.- I'll curse em out…
All: Ohhh!!!
Me: ON WITH THE SHOW/STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I listened to Numa Numa and Caramelldansen while writing and editing some of this!!!!!)
Recap:
Maybe letting Alex alone with all of them wasn't the best idea…. I pray to God my house is still there when I get back.
We drove to the Thrift Store in silence. I didn't mind though because my dad had oldie stations programmed into his radio. We drove there listening to oldies—or rather I listened and Mason listened to my singing of things like: Bad to the Bone, Joker, and Born to Be Wild. Poor boy.
We finally reached the store and walked inside.
"Ok, you go and try to get some stuff for Kakuzu, Kisame, Sasori, and Zetsu." I told him.
He didn't move.
"What?" I asked.
"First off: Won't Zetsu just need a big coat?"
"Hmmm," he really only wore his Akatsuki cloak and shoes in the series…what about…BOXERS!...my inner put in, though she did have a point. "Well I guess you're right, but what about…you know…other things?"
He knew what I was talking about, thank Kami, and only nodded, "Yeah ok, but another thing," he said before I could walk off.
"What?"
"Any particular reason that you gave me the members that you'd never ever event think of liking?"
I narrowed my eyes at him, "Listen here, yes I did give you people like Kakuzu, but, I also gave you Sasori. You know that Sasori's like my…fourth or fifth favorite! Right behind Deidara, then Itachi, then…well I don't really know how my list goes, but you get the point!!"
He scoffed, "You still got to pick out Deidara and Itachi's."
I groaned, "Ugh you baka! Fine take Itachi and I'll take Kisame ok?? Jashin you're difficult!" With that I walked off to find stuff for them, but not without hearing Mason mumbled to himself,
"Still leaves you with your favorite."
I just ignored it. I wasn't going to be around him if he was going to go on and on about this. Making my way over to the Big and Tall section for some of the rather big and tall members I started to hum Bad to the Bone again.
Having an aunt that loves oldies and cousins that are younger than you and love saying, "B-B-B-B-B-Bad to the bone," can influence you to like a song.
After just getting things that looked like they could be good for Kisame and Hidan—lot of big clothes being carried by a small-ish kid—people started to look at me oddly. I only glared at them. What did they expect me to do when I had nine guys in need of clothes??
They don't know that you have the Akatsuki at your house. They probably don't even know who Naruto is…
Well still! I mean I could be getting some for a clothes drive together or something!!
Right, of course that's what they'd think.
Oh ok, O Wise Me, please enlighten me on what these losers are thinking about my pile of fabric?
Oh so I'm the smart one here? Well thank you for noticing!!
Just say what you think so we can end this!!!
Pfft, like I have the slightest clue.
I fell over anime style in the middle of an aisle, with many odd stares thrown towards me. Pfft like I cared what they thought. I could just blame it on the amount of clothing I was carrying.
"You ok?" I looked up to see Mason standing above me.
I huffed and got up, "No, I broke five of my ribs, twisted my ankle, one of my broken ribs punctured my lungs and another got my heart, and I broke my shin bone." Everyone—yes everyone that was there—stared at me like I was serious. I facepalmed, "I was being sarcastic! Do any of you really think that I'd be standing like this if all that happened??? I'd be on the floor writhing in pain!!!"
You can be very convincing with your sarcasm…. I almost believed you.
You are me!! You'd feel if I was hurt!!!
…Oh yeah….
Ignoring my inner I picked up the clothes and went off to find more. I looked at Mason's pile and he seemed almost done. Well fine then Mr. Pick-Anything-Just-So-We-Can-Get-Out-Of-Here! Typical man….
Sexist much?
You know you agree with me!
…So?
After about another two hours we both had everything that we needed, shoes, clothes, everything. We actually got nine hoodies so that they could go outside when they wanted; they just needed the hood up.
When we brought it all up to be checked out, the lady looked at us very oddly, which was to be expected.
After she checked it all out I handed her the card which earned another odd look. I groaned, "Look we just adopted a bunch of hobos ok? So please just hurry up! The hobos will eat our cat if we don't get home soon!!"
Her eyes widened and she quickly scanned the card and got us out of there so fast I bet she'd be made owner of the place if she did that to everyone.
"Nice description, but I'd have used a different adjective." Mason said. If my hands weren't occupied by bags I would have done my signature Abby-Gibbs-Slap-Of-Doom!! See I changed the name!! Mine now!
So I just settled on kicking him in the leg.
"OW! What the hell Abby??!!"
"They are guests in my home so I'd appreciate it if you didn't insult them! Especially since you, too, are a guest in my house right now!" We reached the truck and slung the bags into the bed of the truck. It wasn't one of those big four door gas-guzzlers. Picture a newer and white version of Bella Swan's truck and you've got it. I was surprised that all the bags fit, and yes I did use something from twilight! Bite me if you hate it! And die if you don't think that Taylor Lautner is hot! Oops…off track…
We hopped into the seats as Mason said, "Yeah and me and Chris are going to be guests for awhile now."
I whipped my head around to him, "Excuse me? You two will be guests at my home when I want you to be!"
We pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road and headed home.
"Abby, there's no way in hell that we're leaving you and Alex alone with the Akatsuki! You two even said yourselves that if they were real you'd rape them!"
So that was where he was going with this.
I let out a laugh, "Wow you two are idiots!! We were kidding! Like we'd actually do that!! They'd kill us you baka!!!!!"
"I don't care; we aren't leaving you two alone with them!"
"Oh? Why not? What do you think is going to happen?"
"You all constantly talk about how much you two like the Akatsuki—"
I cut him off, "What? We do not! You all never let us even say anything about them unless it's the most recent thing to happen in the fucking series!!"
"You all still go completely fangirl when either of you talk about Deidara or Itachi!"
"Yeah when we aren't around you two! We know how much that irritates you all so we don't talk about them like that!! Hell we're barely even allowed to talk about anything about them! Alex was barely allowed to be sad about Itachi when he died and I can't even talk about how awesome it is that Deidara has mouths on his hands and can make explosives!! We barely say anything around you all!!" Ok I was pissed now. I always argue about this with Mason though, and Alex always argues with Chris…. It gets very troublesome…we aren't even allowed to talk about the owner of that quote…(Shikamaru)
"We hear you all when you don't think we're around! You'd think that you two were having seizures the way you all act!!"
"Have you seen the way you all act when it's about some anime girl??? You all talk about them all the time in front of us!!!"
He stayed quiet for a minute before saying, "We're still not leaving you alone with them at night."
I almost slapped him. Night? He. Was. So. Dead. "And what is that supposed to mean?" I seethed.
"Just that there's no way in heaven, hell, or earth that we'd leave you alone with them at night! Who knows what would happen!!"
"You bastard. What the hell do you think is going to happen??? Do you think that I'll just be in my room minding my own business when Deidara comes in and we suddenly find that we're both draw to each other and then POOF we're making love on my bed??? Then after that I dump you for him and I eventually get pregnant and since I'm against abortion I have the thing and while I'm at school he'd take care of it and then I'd come home and take it off his hands then at age 18 he finally asks me to marry him since I'm out of school and we finally find a way to get them home and I leave with him while Alex leaves with Itachi?? Then after a few years Deidara goes off and fights Sasuke and, of course, dies. Then after I get over my grief I come back here?? Then what?? Hmmm?? Is that honestly what you think is going to happen??!!" Yes I did just use my mad writer skills to make that up on the spot!!
I hadn't noticed during my rant that we'd made it back home.
Mason was silent after my rant. I guess he didn't know what to say. Then, "…Something like that…."
Next thing Mason knew, he was plastered to the window of my dad's truck with a blood read mark on his cheek…I think some of it was blood…not too sure.
"You fucking bastard's bitch! I hope you fucking rot in hell!" With that I ran out of the truck and towards to garage door—which was already open—and towards the door that led into my house. I didn't even get half way there before the door flung open to reveal all my guests. I pushed past all of them—in towels (Must. Resist. Blushing!)—but not without landing another slap on Chris as well. I knew he thought the same thing about Alex and me.
I was half way to my room when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I was about to slap it away when I saw it was Alex.
"…Abby…what happened?" She asked.
"ASK THAT BASTARD OUT THERE!!!" I tried to run to my room—because I was such a girl like that—but Alex kept me where I was.
"Abby, what did he do?"
"Do you even have to ask?? My own boyfriend thinks I'm going to rape my favorite character!! Just because he's my favorite doesn't mean I'm going to fucking rape Deidara!!!"
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
I…just said…what I think I said…didn't I?
……Yeah….
…Fuck.
I looked over at the Akatsuki—avoiding certain people's eyes—and saw they were all very much surprised at what I had just said.
Mason had come in and was rubbing his cheek but when he heard me he stopped and had the same expression as the rest of them—even Alex.
"I…uhhh…" I had no clue what to say. So, like any flustered teen girl would do, I ran to my room, slammed the door shut, locked it, sat on my bed, and fumed.
I…he…I just said that I like Deidara right in front of him…in front of everyone!!! Oh my Jashin!!
…
You there??
…
Hello??
Huh? Oh, sorry…I'm in shock.
…Yeah…
What are you gonna do?
Heh, you keep saying you're a part of me and now that I really do need you to be a part of me, you're saying you aren't. That's rich.
Well there's not much that I can do, you know.
I sighed. My inner had a point, but right now I had to figure out how I was going to get to school and get food without seeing…him.
But of course the universe and the great ramen/yaoi gods from above hate me so they don't want me to have any chance to think of ways to avoid Deidara without him interrupting my avoiding plans to talk to me. Hmmm, I think I'm starting to warm up to the universe! At least it's not raining! No, wait, that's only when you're in a bad predicament outside…crap!
I heard a knock on my door thinking that it'd be Alex, but I had to make sure, "Who is it…? Mason if that's you I swear I will—"
"No…it's me…" Cue blushing and moths—not butterflies, moths—in my stomach. "It's Deidara."
I couldn't speak, but I did hear Alex trying to talk quietly outside "Is her door unlocked?"
My door handle shook as they tried to open it. Thank Kami I locked it.
"It's locked," I heard Tobi say.
"Here let me try to get it," Konan spoke.
Jesus Jashin is everyone out there??!
Click!
Damn ninja and they're unlocking jutsus!!
I may have heard a million people outside my door, but when it finally opened only Deidara was there.
I narrowed my eyes, "Where's that bastard? Doesn't he have the balls to come in here himself and apologize? Or is he afraid I'm just going to slap him again, because he doesn't have to worry about that."
He sighed, "Alexis made him stay out there and Konan forced me in here." He laughed, "I'd think that you'd slap is face right off the way you yelled when you came in, hm."
The corners of my mouth twitched to smile but I held them back, "I only said he didn't have to worry about my slapping him, I never said that I wouldn't kick him in the place that really matters." Then I broke into a smile. Well a smile that one could make in the face of an Akatsuki member that just found out you liked him…so a grimace really.
"Heh, remind me to never piss you off."
"That's a good idea…"
Usually I like silence, but when it's awkward I just want to shoot the other person. What? I don't want to die just to get out of an awkward situation! Why should I shoot myself when there's another person I can shoot that will also end the silence? Damn off track again.
Yes, it was quiet for a long time before Deidara spoke again, "Well I guess it didn't take me too long to find out who your favorite was, yeah."
I felt the heat on my face. "Y-Yeah, I guess so…" My stomach felt like it was about to fly right off of me.
"…I already figured that Itachi was Alexis's…she did run right to him when she came in, un. Plus the way he acted when she was over during the week…."
I laughed, "Yeah he's her favorite. She loves the whole indifference that he has about him, and of course the Sharingan…all that makes him my second, heh…" Awkward again… "You're up there on her list too…probably because of your hands and art…she was always a bit of a pyro." Major awkwardness when the hands were brought in, well for me at least.
"Oh?" Now while I was sitting there feeling like my face was going to burn off and my stomach was doing the Macarena, he was standing there with his arms crossed, and now smiling. Smiling! No, wait, Akatsuki don't smile, they smirk! Ok so he was smirking. Whatever. "And why am I so high up on your 'list'?"
Now my stomach was doing the Cha Cha Slide. "Uhhh, well…your…art…. I really like it…though I was never really a pyro." I sighed and put my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands. Can't he just leave already so I can take all this frustration out on the two bakas out there? Maybe I could even take a knife to Hidan…that would definitely make my day.
I had to laugh at the sight of me yelling over Hidan's yelling disembodied head over in a corner while I stabbed his body and cut off limbs with a simple kitchen knife.
"What's so funny, yeah?" Deidara said from right next to me. I hadn't noticed that he even sat down. Wait. Shinobi. Right!
"WHOA!" I said and jumped an inch away. What's with these people and startling me?? I just stared at him for a minute while he stared at me.
"You aren't going to hit me like you did to Hidan, are you?" He said after a moment.
"Uhhh, no?"
"Ok, good. Now what's so funny?" He asked and leaned closer. Fuck him!
"I was just imagining taking out my anger on Hidan with a kitchen knife…while yelling at Mason…it was kind of funny I guess…" I mumbled.
But of course he had ninja ears so he heard it. "Ha! I'd pay to see Hidan get his ass whooped by anyone that wasn't a shinobi!"
I pinched his arm, "And what's that supposed to mean Mr. I'll-Blow-Everything-I-See-Up-Because-It's-Awesome?"
He pinched my arm right back, "Just that it'd be funny to see an immortal ninja get beat by an un-trained non-ninja, Ms. Sick-Minded-Boy-On-Boy-Lover."
"Hey! It's awesome! And owww! Why did you pinch me??" I rubbed my arm.
"I already told you: Don't flick me and I won't flick you."
"Hmph, touché." It was silent then for another minute or so. "…Why did you come? I mean why did you come in here instead of Alex? Or even Konan?"
He blinked at me, "I already said they made me…"
I looked at the floor, "Yeah, but didn't they tell you to say or do anything? Did they just go up to you and say 'Go in there' then dragged you over and pushed you in?"
"Well actually Tobi dragged me and they unlocked the door and knocked on it…"
"…Oh…ok…I was just wonder—"
"I probably would have come even if they hadn't made me."
I stared at the ground. "O-Oh? W-Why's that? Were you annoyed that I thought of you as my favorite character…?"
I think he was trying to choose his words carefully, or maybe he just didn't know what to say but finally he did speak, "No, actually I was hoping that it would be me…………"
Silence. I had no idea what to say. My head was spinning with what I just heard. I snapped it up to look at him, "What?! Did I just hear you right? Did you just say—"
"Yes, you heard me right." Deidara just kept looking straight ahead.
I didn't think that my eyes cold go any wider than they were, but they went wider, "Why…? I mean I just met you—"
"A week ago, yeah. Since I was a cat and you didn't know that we were really who we are, you didn't have to act different. You acted yourself and as they say, first impressions last, hm." He chuckled, "It's a good thing that the first impression wasn't when we turned human. I don't think anyone would forget that…un" I blushed as the image came popping right back into my head. "Course at first you just seemed like an ok person to be around, then something happened and I wanted to be around you…I could tell the same for when Alex was over with Itachi, hm. He was always slightly saddened when she left.
"Today when she came, he was just surprised by the sudden hug. You should have seen them today while you two were gone, yeah. They talked to each other nonstop while the other boy tried to keep the rest under control.
"While everyone was off doing who knows what, Sasori-danna and I just sat on the couch with our own thoughts, un. It gave me enough time to think all this through." He paused and he looked over at me, "I think I may just like you too."
I was about to faint. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that even if Deidara came to this world that he'd like me of all people! "Wow." I breathed. My head was spinning even more than before as I continued to stare at him, while he stared at me, and I just prayed to God that I wouldn't faint.
Wait why's his face getting bigger?!
And why do I feel like your leaning to the side?
Then I realized why. Deidara and I were leaning closer and closer to each other.
We were just an inch away from each other's faces when the door opened and he pulled back quickly like the ninja he is.
"You not pissed yet Abby?!" Alex asked.
I stared at Deidara for a minute before looking over to Alex. She had a confused look on her face, but I just waved it off, "Y-Yeah, I'm not pissed anymore…" I was just confused, happy, worried, surprised, and felt like I was about to blow up with everything that happened in just one day of the freaking Akatsuki being in my house.
Me: WHOOT!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DID YOU ALL LIKE?? I KNOW I KNOW FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO THINK THIS WAS A BIT TOO EARLY, TOO BAD!! I NEED TO ROMANCE NOW!!!! SO BLEH!!! AND SORRY ABOUT THE BIG ASS MONOLOGUE THAT DEIDARA WENT THROUGH! I HAD TO EXPLAIN HIS POINT OF VIEW AND WHAT HAPPENED WHILE ABBY AND MASON WAS GONE!!!!!
Deidara: I almost kissed you?! WTF????
Me: u.u I see you don't like me
Deidara: …
Mason: Why did I get slapped? -.-
Me: Because you accused me of rape! Now if you ever read this, you'll know not to do that!
Alex: I wasn't really in it…
Me: Hey you will be!! Calm!! Review people! I'm hungry and want them! I feed off them!! FEED ME!!! O.o Do you want me to starve?? Then I'll die and never finish!!! XO
