A/n: woah! this is almost 6000 words.
Juvia cracks an eye open. It is her daily routine to wake up before everyone does. It has been set that she doesn't want to stay any longer in their house.
She doesn't want to bump into her husband early in the morning. Why? She knows that, that will only bring mixed emotions.
It is hard enough to stay calm and collected whenever they are in the company. And she knew that if she meets a Gray–that–has-woken-up-from-bed,oh dear God! all her resolve will surely shatter.
But now, she feels the urge to just lie back and enjoy the feeling of his firm and hard biceps around her body. It brings wonder to her that their body fits perfectly,like they are made for each others arms.
The room is still dark but the early signs of the sun is slowly creeping in, if it is just an ordinary day, she would've scrambled to her feet and immediately shower, but today it is completely different.
She quietly raises her head and stares at her husband's sleeping face. It is a first of all first for her. It is the first time for her to sleep next to him. It's the first time for her since they got married. She remembers the time, they did it, he doesn't even wait for her to wake up before leaving. He doesn't even know how hurt she was.
A sad smile creeps to her beautiful face. Her brows furrows, the corner of her eyes are stinging and she knows that tears are on the verge of falling.
Why? why do I have to fall for you?
Fate must be laughing at her predicament right now. She hates him to the extent that she loves him, and that is confusing her. She reaches to caress his face, and his face turns into a scowl and soon calms. He leans on her touch and moans in contentment.
Tears still continue to fall, her shoulder shaking from her silent cries yet he still sleeps peacefully with her in his arms. She doesn't understand, how her life get entangled with his?
She ran away from him, like a coward would do,and finds herself in his arms. When she thought she can forget about him, he will do something to cause him to nag inside her mind.
All these years, she loves him, all these years he hurts her, and all these years she wishes to get even.
Make him fall in love with her, make him offer his heart to her and just break it into million pieces, in a way that no amount of mending can cure.
She loves him yet loathes him in return.
She traces his face with her fingers, she tries to memorize it, engraving it at the back of her hand. He surely changed all these years. His once boyish looks turned into manly. Her face turns into a scowl when she sees a scar just above his brow, as far as she remembers he never had a scar on his face. Yes, he is a bad boy before,well he she still thinks that he is, but his face is flawless. So how did he get this? She was gone for a very long time and she doesn't care on what he did before.
She knows that once her plan is sort out and when it happened, she knows that she will not be able to do this things.
She will have to hurt him to release the pain inside her.
Blood!
There's blood...
She shakily raises her left hand, red...If this is just any normal day she will just take this calmly but no she is pregnant for crying out loud! Everything she does, eats, and everything that happens to her also affects her baby. Glancing towards the mirror, she notices how her face turns even paler.
She is just going to do her morning rituals, when a sudden pain pierced through her. Due to it, she accidentally turned the shower on.
She swears her heart skipped a beat as she gapes at the running water that is once clear, now dark with her blood...her baby's blood.
"N-no..noo..."
She tries to move but it seems like her feet is glued on the bathroom door.
Her baby..
Her only reminder of him.
Gone.
Forever.
She feels her world starting to blur, her surroundings starting to spin. The pain between her legs is unbearable, her breath hitched up in her throat, she tries to shout, ask for her nii-sama to save her baby...
It feels like her stomach is being squished, it feels like a thousands—millions of needles are piercing through her. It feels like someone knocks her on her gut, as she gasps for air. Her knees starts shaking and she is sure that she will collapse any moment now.
She can hear her nii-sama knocks on the door, telling her that she is taking to long and she has to eat her breakfast. Then his next words seems to be—in a sense blurring too.
And that's when she falls with a thud, the only thought running in her mind is that she hopes her baby is safe.
She hopes.
Juvia feels her whole body tremble as she continues to cry her eyes out. She bits her lower lip to suppress the sobs that are threatening to leak out, but she lost the battle. Sobs leaks out her plump lips, cries, anguish and agony is laced through those terrible cracks her heart produces.
She retracts her hand from his face to cover her mouth. She doesn't even notice Gray frowning from the lost warmth.
Gray opens his eyes and meets his wife's tear-stricken face. He immediately sits up and places his hands on her trembling shoulder. All the drowsiness he has had left him. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?" his voice comes out a little croaked. Juvia keeps her head low and still continues to cry, hiccuping and trembling terribly.
When she doesn't answer, he pulls her body flush on him. She doesn't hug back but she seems to be content on just having him hold her.
Her silent sobs comes out soft then gradually becomes louder. Gray wraps his arm around her small waist while his other hand gently combing her hair. "shhh..It's okay. I'm here. Everything's gonna be alright." He doesn't know what triggered her to cry. His first thought is that she had a nightmare. But reasons aside, he is sure that she always had this.
He remembered the nights he has to stay awake outside her door, while she's crying on the other side. Back then, he can't do anything to lessen her pain, but now that she has given him a chance to be with her, he will make sure that she will no longer cry alone.
He feels her shoulder relaxing and her sobs comes softer. He feels her dainty hands gently pushing him away. She raises her head and stares at his dark orbs. Her eyes red and puffy, same with her nose, but she still looks breath-taking.
"Is there something—" before he is able to finish his sentence, Juvia has wrapped her arms around his neck and pulls his head down on her. Their lips colliding in a clumsy way. He is shocked but returns her kisses a second later. She kisses him with full intensity and passion that Gray can't help but return with same fevor.
When they part for air, she once again captures his lip, Gray can feel the need in her kisses. The arms that were wrapped around her entangles themselves and pushes her gently. She seems to be not herself because she still tugs on him and refuses to be pushed.
"Juvia." he mildly entangles her arms around him, but she still clings to him
"Juvia, stop!"
She looks like she has been slapped. And Gray can feel his heart shatter. He doesn't mean to shout at her it's just she seems out of it.
She avoids his gaze and he feels like a total idiot for hurting her. He put a finger under her chin and lifts her face. His hand curves on her soft cheek, he feels her soft inhale as he claims her lips gently.
He grazes her lower lip between his teeth. Sinking his hand in her silky tresses, he angles her head for deeper access. She opens herself for him and just let him lead the kiss. He kisses her slowly and gently, he handles her like a porcelain glass doll, he is so scared that he might break her. Juvia feels her inside swelling with warmth, she doesn't know but the way he kisses her is the same when they were teenagers. When she believed that they are both in love before.
Both with chest heaving, dark cheeks and swollen lips, they part for the need of air. The pad of Gray's thumb softly brushing her cheeks, wiping the tears she had shed.
"S-sorry." she voices out. Her apology comes out ambiguously, that even she can't decipher if it is for crying or forcing a kiss from him or something else.
His face breaks in a soft grin " It's Alright."
He waits for her to continue. He wants to know the reason behind her doesn't want to ask her, he, also, doesn't wants to sound pushy. He wants her to share it to him. And it seems that she is not yet ready to tell him,what ever is bothering her. If it is her decision then he has no choice but to respect it and wait for the day she'd open up. No need to rush on things, they have eternity to be together. To understand each other. To be one.
Trust is earned not forced.
When that happens, he knows that they will share the same thoughts...
The same feelings.
Lucy's brown orbs stares at the man in front of her. She had told Natsu her situation and it seems like he's having trouble digesting it. 'What if he hates me now? what if he breaks up with me?!' she nervously fidgets on the hem of her skirt.
Natsu swears that he is sweating buckets now. He always knew that he has been dating Lucy since they were in college and their relationship is, by far, the longest he had.
He can feel his hands turning clammy. He audibly gulped as her statement rings inside his head once again. "Natsu, I'm pregnant."
He loves her. That he will never doubt. He is 28, turning 29, but the thought of marriage and kids never entered his mind. No. Not yet.
"Lucy." he calls out but still has his head bowed low. He needs time. He swears that he can feel her eyes boring unto him.
"Can I—...I need some time to think."
Her heart must be shattering right now. Did she heard him right? But nevertheless she responds a soft 'okay' and watches him exit the cafe. The back of her eyes stinging with tears. She inhales a mass of air and wills her weakening legs to move. No what should she do? Shall she tell her nii-san about it?
Gray doesn't understand why he is here, in a bar, at an early hour, and with an already drunk Natsu. He should have been sleeping on his bed with his wife.
He sighed as he take the shot glass away from his friend. He ignores him and gulps the alcohol from its bottle.
"Will you tell me your problem?" he asks, clearly he is annoyed. He receives a call from him telling him to go at Loke's bar. Speaking of Loke, he hasn't heard a news from him.
His dark orbs watches as the pinkette, staggers to keep himself sitted. Natsu dives his head on the table and hiccuped. Gray barely heard him when he told him his problem.
"Lucy's pregnant."
"Oh."
Gray doesn't know how to react. "Umm..Congrats?"
"She told me yesterday."
"Then, you should be celebrating." He stated like an idiot. What is wrong with this flame-breath? After a minute and so, his brain started processing his words. "W-wait, wait wait, wait. You mean you got your girlfriend pregnant?"
Natsu just stared at him as he take another gulp from his alcohol.
Gray knew that Natsu and Lucy are on the right age to screw each other up but Natsu...He...He is like a child. He doesn't think of things like responsibility or duty.
"So...what are you going to do?"
Natsu stops from emptying the bottle, and from the first time, Gray saw a very scared Natsu. Heck, He doesn't even fear his parents when they got mad, but right now, all the emotions that his eyes are conveying are —fear and confusion.
Natsu is in serious shit this time.
The Dragneel heir clutches his pink hair in frustration.
"I...I don't know. I—I mean, I know I,..I don't think I can..."
Gray takes a sip from his cup and looked at his friend. "You know, you should've thought about the possibilities when you do such thing. I mean—we're not 20 anymore, we are now faced with big responsibilities and duties that we must fulfill..Natsu. Man up and face your fears."
His friend just stares at him with wide eyes. "Do..Do you think that ..I can do good?" he asks Gray carefully.
"Do you love her?"
"What kind of question is that?!" he asks him incredolously.."Of course, I do!"
The raven-haired man smirks at his direction. "We can never be perfect...We are built with insecurities and fears but aside from that we were given an opportunity to try our best. I think..." Gray watches as the ice of his cup melts, he thinks of a certain blunette, and the thought made him smile.."once you're with the one you love, you can do anything you thought you can't" he says, without even realizing the depth of his thoughts.
Natsu watches as his friend emits a soft smile. His face looks so serene. And despite being drunk, he knew what—who, he was thinking.
Oi, Ice-princess! " he calls out.
Gray throws him a questioning look.
"I think..You are in love."
Gray went to his office a while ago and asked his secretary to file a week leave.
He is now sitting in his study room. His clothes are being packed by the maids. He is still pounding on what Natsu had told him.
"W-w-whaaat?!" he sputtered out.
"I said, I think you're in love"
"Me?!" he pointed at himself and laughed at Natsu. He looked incredulous.
"Me. Never"
The pink-haired just roll his eyes at him, and returned his attention on his drink. "Still in the river of denial huh?" Natsu muttered.
"Denial?! What the—And what am I denying?"
The Dragneel heir just shrugged at him to much to his annoyance. "I thought you're not in love so what are you so worked out about?"
Gray ruffles his hair in annoyance. Could it really be that he is in love? But he is never in love. Well, all his past relationships, it is all the women who were first to fall not him.
But when he thought of the word Love and Juvia, his heart starts to beat fast. A warm feeling starts to cover his chest. His stomach churned with something he is sure he never felt before.
He thought of her warm smiles, her cute frown, her pouty face, her laugh, her voice, her touches, her kisses—he can't help but feel his lips quirked into a smile. And as corny as it sounds he feels like singing.
He admires her dedication in work, Juvia is smart and beautiful, he remembers the time when he saw her cradling a child on the orphanage, he can't help but wish that that is their child she is taking care of. She manages their company's charity works and admires on how big her heart is. She never fails to tease but at the same time makes him the happiest person by just laughing with him.
He never felt complete when he has her in his arms. A warm sensation started pooling at the bottom of his stomach, and his heart constricts with elated beats whenever he thought of her kisses. He felt like soaring whenever her eyes landed at him, especially whenever she initiates their kisses and whenever she kisses him back.
As much as possible he wants to be the one responsible for her smiles and laughter. Juvia can be sophisticated, strict, caring, childish, cute and sexy. He remembers her habit of fidgeting and lip biting when nervous. And he will never let anyone take her away from him.
Large hand makes its way on his hair. Raking it rougher than he intended.
'Fvck. I am in love'
"Yes. Maybe a week." she responds on the phone call.
She has forgotten on telling her secretary about her leave. She and her husband will be staying with the Vastia's for the whole week. They will be celebrating Logan's 4th birthday.
She really likes Gray's nephew. Juvia will never mention this but, she also wants to have a child. She is jealous of the Vastias. After her miscarriage, the thought of children were long buried at the back of her mind. And after she got married to Gray she knew that it will never happen. They will have to have a sleeping arrangement but after the wonderful feeling last night—sleeping next to a man is so amazing,especially with Gray—she knew it will happen again.
She bid her secretary goodbye and put her phone in her pocket. Her eyes watches as the maids put their bags and gifts in their car. Her eyes sweeps around their house, looking for a certain midnight-haired with piercing dark blue eyes.
When she does not immediately see him, her feet guided her to his room. She sees the maids packing his things but still no Husband in sight. She goes to his study room, her eyebrow almost hit her hairline when she sees him gripping his hair. With a small hand, she gently pushes the door open.
He almost jump when she enters the room. When his eyes made contact with her, she swears that if she had been a water she had long gone evaporated.
She gulps an invisible lump and made her way towards him. Not ready for what he had discovered, he grips his knee, and nervously darts his eyes away from her.
When she notices that he seems to be avoiding her gaze, a frown makes its way to her doll-like face. Instead of sitting in front of him, she stands next to him.
Worry etches her features when she catches a pink hue on his face and his continuous sweating "Are you not feeling well?", she crouches down next to him, he gasps when her hand makes contact with his back, gently rubbing up and down.
"uh—No." When he looks at her, he cracks a small smile, to assure her that he is okay and mostly because he loves it when she is worried for him.
He feels cared and loved.
He presses his lips on her in a chaste kiss. Caught off guard, Juvia gasps when their lips made in contact. When he pulls away—a few cm's away, she blinks at him, befuddled, she never thinks of Gray as someone who steals kisses.
He cups her cheek and smiles, when she blushes hard. She is so cute whenever she looks at him with wide eyes. Can't control himself anymore, he once again dips his head for a kiss.
He gives her a knee-shattering and searing kiss, he sighs when she wraps her arm around him and responds back. His hands making random patterns on her skin. She knows that she would not have been standing if it isn't for his arms holding her upright.
He languidly coaxes her plump lips with his. He has been dreaming of repeating the scene they did a few hours ago. Her mouth slightly open, as he grazes her lower lip between his teeth.
They are still close and the way their breaths mingles each other is a proof. Her eyes flutters open and stares at his dark blue orbs. His eyes depicts a myriad of emotions but what makes her hitched her breath is he is looking at her the same way when they were still teenagers. When she thought that he is in love. Her eyes half-lidded and are swimming with mirrored lust.
Gray's eyes lands on her lips— that not long ago he is kissing, it looks even irresistible sparkling due to their mixed saliva. His hand that not long ago rests on her cheek is now at the back of her head, pulls her to him. She pushes her breasts at him as their lips once again collides, she feels her heart increased its pace when she feels him shudder. Her hands fists on his hair and tugs it gently, when he sucks her tongue.
She whines but after a millisecond turns into sigh of pleasure when his lips ghosts on her neck. For the sake of giving him a better access. She doesn't remember when or how she gets on the sofa with him on top of her, but all she cares is the way his lips makes magic on her skin and makes her feel pleasure.
She flungs her leg on his waist and gives him a penetrating gaze and grinded on him. And electrifying jolt of pleasure shots through his whole being. She can feel the low rumble of his chest when he groans.
Juvia doesn't mind if her hair is a mess right now, all that matters to her is that they can continue what they wants to do—kissing. Her sighs and moans sends pleasure to him, and those becomes louder whenever he licks at the spot under her jaw. He found it. Her sweet spot.
He nibbles on that skin and sucks on it. Hard. Her nails scrapes his scalp in a delightful way when he bit on it. His hand caresses her shapely legs, even though she is wearing a pants, her legs still can make him arouse.
His lips trails butterfly kisses towards her chest. Wherever his lips touches sends a scalding heat on her body. His tongue traces wet patterns as he pulls her purple shirt down. He kisses her bra gently while staring at her.
"Gray" she calls out when he licks her nipple
"hmm?" her pink bud placed between his teeth. His other hand palming her other breast. Gingerly, he squeezes it and ravels on her soft breasts.
"We can't—ahh..nghh.." His mouth sucking her breast like a hungry baby. He releases her breast with a 'pop' and raises his head "what were you saying?"
His hands caressing her big breasts, his fingers pinching her bud and that motion sends ripples of electricity on her, "yeah.." she bits her lower lip to prevent herself from moaning but that only made her look even more erotic.
"Holy Shit!, you're so hot" he curses under his breath. Attempting to kiss her once again, only to be pushed by her. A questioning brow raises at her.
Juvia, although, she wants to kiss him, they should leave now or else they won't be able to reach the place on time. It is scary to drive at night, and she doesn't want to reach night on the road.
Both of their chest heaving like they had run a marathon. "Gray, we have an appointment with the Vastia's remember?"
Now that she mentioned it, he can't help but cuss. Juvia hastily fixes her clothes and reaches for her hair. He offers his hand which she took and smiled up at him. He pulls her up and help her tie her hair.
Juvia mumbles a small thank you with a blush on her face, Gray just smiled at her. She is about to take her leave when she feels a comforting warmth on her hand. Glancing down, she caught sight of his large hand on her. When she looks at him, he once again offers her a dazzling smile making her heart go loco.
They left the room holding hands, she has her eyes on his broad back, Why? why are you making it harder for me? she knows that the plan was to make him fall and to keep herself from falling further, but with him making her confused as fuck—it is definitely harder than she thought.
Snickers and giggles reaches her ears, she sees the maids giving them sly and approving smiles. A dimple emerges from between her brows, she tugs on his hand and that captures his attention. Looking at her, he immediately see the confusion on her beautiful face and that makes him confuse too,not until he saw the red mark on her pale skin. It accentuates more that she has a pale skin. He sends her a smile, shrugs and tugs her forward. Her lips are still swollen from his kisses and her eyes are still clouded by their activity, her hair is a mess and seeing her with a mark, that he himself did, makes him smile from ear to ear.
" Hey, there's something wrong?" she narrows her eyes towards him, they are in front of the car now and Gray is checking the bags that they are bringing. He looked at her and smiled once more and tells her "What? there's nothing wrong" Raising his hands in front of him and smiling.
Juvia, mad at him for looking so handsome, and mad at herself from admiring that smile, points at him. "Stop that"
Still smiling,"what?"
"that!" she is referring at his smile, cause really it should be illegal for him to look so handsome and from making her heart go into stampede. She feels her ire getting higher when he chuckled at her "Arghh!" then she glared at him. She enters the car and slams the door at him. She heard the door open and a rustling sound settles on her side. She ignores him and pretends he doesn't exist.
"hey" he calls out, still she gives him a silent treatment.
He put a hand on her shoulder and tried to make her look at him, only to be swatted away. She heard him sigh. "I'm sorry". she can feel the sincerity from his voice but she still ignores him. "hey, come now. I'm sorry."
When she looks at him, she can feel her heart breaking. Gray's face contorted into pain, he looks like a child that has made something wrong and apologizing to his mommy, his eyes are pleading at her. She sighs and brushes some of the bangs that frames his face. He takes her hand in his and kisses it. Juvia feels her heart skyrocketed when Gray closed his eyes and caresses her hand. Her face must be in a deep crimson color, when he opens his eyes he is staring at her with so much intensity like he is trying to read her soul.
"Please don't be mad at me." his voice cracks with pain and Juvia starts to berate herself from hurting him. And if this continues she doesn't know if she can do her revenge. She gulps and nods her head, she doesn't trusts her voice. She takes her hand away from his grasp, and was met by his lips on hers. Mulling over the fact that Gray must have some kind of power to make her frozen and at the same time turns her into a puddle in an instant, whenever he steals kisses from her. When he get away, he tells her " Well...you see, there's a hickey on you"
"Oh."
So that must be the reason why the maids are giggling like schoolgirls. When the realization struck her, her face stars to go paler and Gray cannot help but be worried. She scurries like a mad woman and searches for a mirror. She angles her head to the side and searches for it, when she saw it "OH MY GOSH!" It's her first time receiving a hickey and to say that the maids might think that she showed it on purpose like she is proud to have it, makes her wish to be eaten by land alive. She ducks her head and covers her face with her dainty hands as her face grew redder. She heard her husband call her name.
"Hey. I think I have something to cover it." he suggested and reaches for his bag.
"you have a concealer?"
"What?! NO!" he looks at her with disbelief and annoyed when she shrugs at him. "What about you, don't you have any make-up for cover up?" He throws a question at her, while checking his bag, looking for something.
"Nah. I don't usually wear make-up so I don't bring make-up with me, and it's upstairs..." Gray agrees that she isn't a fan of make-up, when they exchanged vows she wore light make-up and with that kind of skin complexion she doesn't need too much to look radiantly beautiful.
"Here". He extends his hand towards her and when she makes a move to get it, she immediately freeze and eyes wide like saucers. Noticing her hesitation, Gray explains. "I know it is old but it's the only thing that I can think of helping you to cover it up." Juvia simply gazes at him, her chest hurts from the erratic beating of her heart.
"If you don't want..."
"No. I'll use it." she gently wraps her hand on the soft blue fabric. It's texture is still the same under her hand, she can never be wrong it is the exact scarf she had given him before. Her eyes are starting to blur...
"What's this?" he asked her when she extended a gift at him.
"It's a gift Gray-sama?" she told him as a matter-of-fact ,but still offered him a kind smile. He looked annoyed but nevertheless he took the gift while scratching the back of his neck. In someone else eyes he looked annoyed but really he was just embarrassed."W-what's the occasion anyway?" he avoided her gaze and inspects the gift. She smiled up at him and told him "It is our 413 days anniversary."
Gray looked skeptical. "O-kay?" really? who celebrates a random number for an anniversary? Apparently it was Juvia.
"Go on Gray-sama, open it."
Gray couldn't help the excitement in him specially when Juvia looked at him with expectant eyes and a wide smile. He gingerly unwrapped the gift and raised a brow upon seeing a scarf.
"Well, the winter season is coming, so Juvia thought that she should knit you a scarf and-"
He cut her off "wait, are you saying you made this for me?"
she bobbed her head and Gray couldn't help but be amazed. The scarf was on a shade of blue, he rubbed his fingers on the fabric, she's good.
"Thanks" he mumbled and Juvia's face immediately lit up, she pounced at him. He let out a 'hey' at her, he was expecting for his voice to come out annoyed but it came out soft.
Juvia giggled and Gray couldn't help but hug her back, he felt her stiffen. He panicked and thought that she might had found him so straight forward, but he pushed the thought when Juvia hugged him tighter.
Then he saw the first drop of snow at them.
Gray panics upon seeing her crying. "Oi. what's wrong?" he cups her face with his hands and made her look at him.
Juvia can't help but asks him "who gave you this?"
"I-...I don't know" he honestly replies, and he feels her glare at him but then she immediately looks away. Maybe he is just seeing things. His brows furrowed when she sees her face contorts in pain. Gray knows that he should e comforting her but there's something that held him back.
Juvia wraps the scarf around her, closing her eyes and feeling the tears fall. She harshly wipes her tears and instructs Gray to start driving. The car starts to move, she doesn't want to see his face. Every time she does her heart constricts in pain. Being with him makes her forget the real reason who she is now. She almost forget the pain and tortures she had when he left her, and now he is making her confuse by just smiling, touching and kissing her. She doesn't understand why he had kept the scarf all these years and she doesn't understand why he doesn't remember her. She doesn't understand everything!
She can feel him glancing at her, she ignores the heat of his stares and concentrates at the pelting drop of rain around them.
A/n: I'm sorry if it took so long to update, and i'm sorry if the last part seemed rushed and the make out scene. I'm not really good at those things but NeverInUrWildestDreams is so stubborn and kept and keeps on writing those scenes. I just hope that there are still reading this. You may notice some errors please look past it all. But i'll try to correct them, now that I have a laptop, I think I can update a little faster. I'm writing Renou and i'm closed into finishing the next chapter so I think I can update that too.
Oh. Don't forget to drop a review. Thanks!
