"Are you all done Christmas shopping, Agent Booth?" Sweets asked. He and Booth were on the way to interview a suspect in their latest case. Outside the windows of the SUV, the day was dark and dreary. The local station had indicated that heavy rain was on the way for later in the evening.
"I am, but I'm not," Booth said shortly, trying to stall any further conversation. This was a topic he'd been struggling with for several days and the last person he wanted to discuss it with was the man in the passenger seat.
Sweets nodded. "I have that problem, too. Think I'm all done buying presents for everyone and then I go out and buy a few more."
"That's not my problem this year. It's more that I haven't bought a gift for someone." Booth shook his head at himself. Hadn't he just tried to shut his conversation down? Now he was providing just enough information to make Sweets ask him more questions.
"Who haven't you bought a gift for, Agent Booth?" Sweets figured it was Hannah. The woman seemed like someone who would be hard to buy for, considering her nomadic existence. Sure the woman owned almost nothing, but there wasn't much you could buy a person who didn't stay long in one place.
Sweets was pretty sure Booth was ignoring that part of Hannah's personality. He could convince himself otherwise, but in the end Hannah would walk away, the psychologist was sure of it.
"Bones," Booth mumbled. "I haven't bought a gift for Bones."
Not the answer Sweets was expecting. "Why not? She treasures everything you get her, no matter how small. Why would she be the last person you buy for?"
Why did that statement make Booth feel like he'd just been punched? Very uncomfortable, Booth looked out the window, away from Sweets, then back through the windshield. "I'm not sure what to get her," he said lamely.
Which wasn't the problem at all. Booth wanted to give her the world, always had. It just wasn't appropriate now that he had Hannah.
No matter what he still felt for Bones.
Sweets noted the signs that indicated Booth's level of discomfort. Feeling that he was partly to blame for most of it, a heavy sigh filled the quiet interior. "I feel like I should apologize for some of this, Agent Booth."
One eyebrow raised, Booth shot Sweet a surprised glance. "What are you apologizing for?"
"If I hadn't pushed you to make a move outside of the Hoover-"
"Stop," Booth interrupted. "This isn't your fault. Something needed to change between Bones and I. It's clear now that she doesn't feel the same way about me as I do about her."
Realizing Booth probably hadn't caught his use of the present tense, Sweets made no move to correct him. He'd already tried to force Booth and Dr. Brennan together once and it had failed, spectacularly. This time, if they managed to find each other, they would have to do it on their own.
Nodding, Sweets turned toward the window on his side. After a moment of watching the city move past, he turned back. "That still doesn't explain the present."
"It's not the same between us. We aren't as close anymore now that Hannah is here. I truly don't know what's appropriate between us anymore." And he missed that closeness. God, what sort of mess had he gotten himself into?
"Are you still friends?" Sweets asked.
"She's my best friend," Booth admitted quietly. "Maybe Hannah should be, but…" he shrugged his shoulders, unsure of how to explain the difference. Bones knew things about him Hannah would never know, no matter how long they were together.
"Then buy her a gift, Agent Booth. You'll crush her if you don't."
Booth nodded, accepting that Sweets was right. "I tried to give her the best of me. It seemed like a pretty good present at the time. She didn't want it."
Sweets, without thinking, said the first thing that came to mind. "Are you sure about that?"
A glare was the only answer Sweets received. They rode in silence before Booth flipped on his signal and pulled to the side of the road.
"Now," he said, turning sideways to look at Sweets, "just what the hell are you talking about?"
Nervously, Sweets adjusted his tie. "Are you going to kill me for this?"
Booth shrugged. Let the man think what he wanted. A little fear always moved the conversation along. "Why would you ask me that? Bones made it pretty clear she didn't want me in that way."
Knowing in the back of his mind Booth probably wouldn't shoot him, Sweets threw caution to the wind. "Understand that I know very little about what happened after you left my office that night, Agent Booth. I encouraged you to take a gamble, and that was a mistake. A rather large mistake, in my estimation."
Nodding, Booth did nothing to encourage or discourage him from continuing. He'd spent a lot of time in Afghanistan replaying that conversation over in his head. Then, a chance meeting in the middle of a desert, and he'd let himself get lost in another. Someone who wanted exactly what he was offering.
Even if he was only offering half of himself. Some nights, in the dark, he wondered who in the relationship was being cheated more.
"Dr. Brennan loves you, Agent Booth. In my professional opinion, you are the first person she's truly loved since her parents left."
"All because of some book you wrote?" Booth asked with a sneer.
"All because I have eyes and can see what's right in front of me," Sweets countered.
Clenching his jaw, Booth turned back forward and stared out the windshield. "I suppose that doesn't really matter now, does it Sweets? I'm with Hannah. That's where I belong. She accepts what I'm willing to give."
"Then you're a fool, Agent Booth. You had what everyone dreams about right in front of you. You waited five years to tell her your feelings because you were scared to do so, then when she got scared you took off. Five years for you to work up the courage," he said again, driving the point home. "You didn't wait five minutes for her."
Ignoring the growing tension from the other side of the car, Sweets continued. "Of course, like I said, I wasn't there. Is there something in that description that's wrong? Did you try to convince her? Show her all the ways she was wrong? You know Dr. Brennan better than she knows herself. Do you really believe she's not in love with you?"
The slam of Booth's palm against the dash was loud in the SUV. Angry at Sweets' words, Booth worked to control his temper. "This conversation is over," he said softly, reaching to put the vehicle back in gear.
"You're right, it is over," Sweets said. Before Booth could move the car forward again, Sweets threw off the seatbelt and fumbled for the handle of the door. "Go interview the witness yourself, Booth. I'll call a cab to get back to my office."
Watching with an expression Sweets could describe any number of ways, Booth let him go. It was probably for the best they not be together right then.
As soon as the door was closed, Booth pulled away from the curb, only to round the corner and park where Sweets couldn't see him. It wasn't until the cab had picked up his colleague that Booth continued on to the interview.
Back in his office, Sweets dug through his file cabinet to find the manuscript of his book about Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan. He flipped through the pages, trying to decide who he was the angriest at. Agent Booth for giving up so easily, Dr. Brennan for not taking a chance, himself for encouraging the stupid conversation to begin with, or fate in general?
Frustrated, he picked up the pages and tossed them toward the ceiling of his office, watching as they fell to the ground like snow.
