Sharon
We came home too see Stef and Lena all curled up on the couch sound asleep. It's not even nine at night but i'm not surprised neither have slept well lately. Stef has had nightmares like every night for the last week. I even joked with Lena and asked how many hours Stef is allowing her like you do with moms who just had a baby.
"Shh… don't wake them" I said too the kids and grabbed the cups they had what seemed to be floats in and took them into the kitchen. I washed the dishes and told the kids to go upstairs and do whatever. I allowed them to sleep for another hour before gently shaking my daughter-in-law.
"You fell asleep" I whispered to her and she looked down at Stef who is comfortably curled into her chest.
"What time is it?" she asked in a whisper still not moving Stef.
"Ten, we let you sleep for an hour" I informed her and she sighed.
"You didn't have to do that" she said to me looking down at her wife.
"Man she's out" she said laughing and I laughed with her.
"Don't worry about it, I got a lot of pictures for blackmail" I joked but i did actually take a picture of them, I couldn't help myself they were so cute. Besides I would love to tease my daughter into believing I posted them to facebook.
Lena laughed and rolled her eyes before kissing Stefs forehead and gently shaking her arm. Stef moaned in protest and curled up on Lena more.
"We could be evil, I have an air horn app on my phone" I said and she laughed but shook her head.
"Stefanie, come on" she said but Stef only moaned and said no groggily.
"God it's like when she was a teen" I joked and she laughed.
"You're mom is about to use an air horn" Lena said and Stef groaned but sat up.
"I'm up, i'm up" she said and I laughed. She stretched and looked at both me and Lena annoyed.
"What time is it?" Stef asked.
"Ten" I said and she looked confused.
"In the morning?" she asked and we both laughed.
"Yeah come on you're gonna be late for work" I joked and she believed it.
"Shit" she said and she glared at me.
"You're evil" Lena informed me laughing.
"It's night time, you don't have to go to work" Lena said too Stef.
"Why did you wake me than?" she asked and curled back up too Lena. She's still half asleep.
"Babe, lets go too bed" Lena said and she laughed.
"Yeah lets go to bed" she said curling up on her more and I laughed.
"No the actual bed not the couch" she said but Stef didn't seem too listen.
"You can't sleep on the couch it's going to kill you're back" Lena argued logically and Stef groaned.
"Fine, just stop talking" She said getting up and Lena got up and followed her upstairs. I laughed before sitting down and turning the tv on.
Lena
I watched as Stef who is so tired at first sight you would think she was drunk got too our bed and collapsed into it falling asleep immediately not even bothering to take her clothes off and put pajamas on. I joined her and she snuggled back into me like she was downstairs. I'm just glad she's sleeping without nightmares.
The next morning I watched as Stef got out of bed and started to put her uniform on.
"Whoa, slow down. What are you doing?" I asked and she gave me a weird look.
"Putting on my uniform?" she said and I sighed.
"Honey haven't we talked about this?" I asked and she looked confused.
"No but I think I got it. See left foot than right foot pull pants up" she said putting her pants on and I sighed.
"I meant going to work, I know you can handle putting pants on" I said and she sighed of relief.
"Oh good I was insulted for a bit there" she said still ignoring what I said.
"You're not going to work" I said sternly and she looked at me shocked.
"Excuse me" she said sounding taken back with shock.
"You're still on leave" I said and she looked shocked.
"I didn't know I was on a leave" she said and I sighed. Ok so I might have avoided telling her she was purposefully given a few days off.
"Ok I'm sorry I should have told you…" I said and she looked at me shocked.
"I don't need to be on a leave, Lena. Are you behind this?" she asked getting her belt out and putting it on.
"No Captain didn't want you at work, for at least a week after she figured out. It's been like three days" i said but she still grabbed her gun.
"Well why didn't she tell me?" she asked sounding upset.
"Honey she was already talking to me when it came up" I said and she nodded.
"So you just didn't give me the message?" she asked finally stopping getting ready.
"There was never a good time, I thought I did" I said and she sighed.
"This is bull shit I should be at work" she yelled frustrated.
"Don't curse at me" I gently scolded her and she rolled her eyes.
"I'm fine, I should be at work" she said annoyed.
"Babe, you need more time. Besides is this isn't really a good time for you too be out there where you can get seriously hurt?" I argued and she sighed.
"What am I suppose to do sit around the house all day?" She asked.
"You know it's not safe. What did you do when you were pregnant with Brandon?" I asked and she sighed.
"Paperwork and it's awful" she said and i smiled at her.
"Well I'm sorry but you're pregnant you can't be chasing criminals" I said and she sighed and I know she knows I'm right.
"Fine I will talk to Captain but can we do something today" she said and I laughed. She took her uniform off and was down to bra and underwear which for the record is the least amount of clothes I have seen her wear since this all started. She still feels uncomfortable being naked in front of even me so I did the decent thing and turned around.
"Sure what do you want too do?" I asked her once she was dressed. She threw on a blue shirt and loose jeans and put her hair into a ponytail.
"I don't know maybe go down too the board walk like we used to do" she said and I smiled at her.
"Ok but you do know we will have the kids and you're mom" i said and she nodded.
"I guess if we have too" she said and I laughed. We all went down to the boardwalk and were enjoying a nice day out. Since it was a saturday the kids didn't have school and we all got too enjoy the day together. I grabbed Stef's hand knowing we are in a pretty safe part of town and we are safe showing that we are together. She looked down at our intertwined hands nervously and I let go of her hand. She's been a little freaked out by any affection lately let alone public displays of it. Most of the time she's fine but every once in a while she will pull away from a kiss, move her hand so I can't hold it, or avoid a hug. We haven't talked about it yet but I have read the newspaper I know it was a hate crime. I'm sure that's why she's pulling away from me and I think I need too talk too her about it tonight.
"You alright?" I asked and she nodded.
"Yeah of course" she said and I smiled at her. We went into a few stores and I kept an eye on what she was looking at because I think she needs something nice but she seems distracted.
"What's bugging you?" I asked as she seemed to be constantly looking around her.
"Nothing" she said almost too fast. She seems almost like she's starting to have a panic attack. Her hands are shaking and she looks guarded.
"Babe you can talk to me" I said putting my hand on her back and she flinched immediately tensing up. I pulled my hand away immediately.
"I'm fine" she said tears in her eyes.
"Oh sweetie come on." I said and took her back to the bathroom.
"What is going on?" I asked her still afraid to touch her. I want so badly to pull her into my arms but she seems to be in fight or flight mode.
"Nothing" she denied again looking around the bathroom as if she feels someone is following us.
"Honey no one is in here with us" I said and she forced a smile even though I can tell she's freaking out. She seems to be having trouble breathing, is constantly playing with her hands or hair, and she seems like she is literally ready to run at any second.
"Stefanie?" I asked.
"Someone is following us" she said in a whisper as if she thought someone is listening too this conversation. The very thought sent chills down my spine.
"What?" I asked shocked by what she just said.
"Someone is following me" she said and I sighed. I'm sure this is just her having a panic attack.
"No one is following you, you are safe. Lets go home" I said smiling at her.
"But…" she said.
"But nothing, we will tell the kids and you're mom you don't feel well and go home" I said but she didn't like the idea.
"No I'm not letting him hurt my family" she said and I sighed. Ok she's too in panic mode to negotiate with it seems.
"Honey no one is following us" I said and she shook her head and went out to our family. Sharon immediately could tell something was wrong with her daughter.
"Stef you're ok" she said in a whisper trying to keep this between the adults so we don't freak the kids out.
"Hey miss thing we said one thing" I said to her since she has like three things in her hand.
"It's part of the outfit" she claimed and I have her my look and she sighed.
"Fine can I buy it with my money" she asked and I sighed.
"If you really want it but I don't spending a lot of your money either." I said mostly trying to distract them.
"No one is following us" Sharon said to a freaking out Stef.
"We need to get the kids out of here" Stef said in a voice hard to argue with. If we don't listen to her she's going to cause a scene.
"Ok come on guys we are leaving so get what you want and go to the cashier" I ordered and they all looked at me confused. They finally saw there panicking mother and did as told. We got out of there as soon as possible and went right to the car. No one spoke the entire way home as I attempted to calm down Stef. Once the anxiety attack ended she looked embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have freaked out" she said as if it's her fault.
"Honey" I said shaking my hand and taking her hand.
"It's ok mom, we get it" Brandon said for his siblings.
"Yeah Mariana would have shopped us bankrupt if we didn't leave" Callie teased her sister putting her hand on her moms shoulder knowingly.
"I wouldn't have" she denied.
"Well between her and grandma..." Jesus joked and we were all laughing.
Callie
I wasn't shocked when Stef made us all leave. She started freaking out shortly after she got there. I'm surprised she kept it together that long. Panic attacks are the worst. I started to have them shortly after me and Jude's mom died and have had them ever since. They got really bad after the Liam thing, like one a day for a bit there.
"You ok?" I asked Stef during a second alone.
"Yeah i'm fine" she said quickly.
"I used to have panic attacks all the time before you and Lena took me in" I admitted and she looked over at me and sighed.
"I'm sorry" she said awkwardly.
"You know that is ok too let someone else take the ropes for a bit" I said and she sighed.
"I know I know… just thought someone was after us" she said and I nodded.
"The best way to heal is to have someone to lean on. Jude helped me so much without even realizing it. Mom and grandma are here to help you, you should probably let them." I said and she looked at me confused.
"I am" she said and I smiled at her.
"Than why are you pulling away from mom?" I asked and she looked down unsure of what to say and that's when it hit me. I read the newspaper, of course that's what it is about now I feel stupid.
"What that guy said too you isn't true" I said and she looked up at me.
"I know… you make me so proud Callie every day" she said and kissed my forehead. I smiled it feels great to have moms let alone ones I know i'm making proud.
I smiled at her and met eyes with mama who I know is worried about her wife.
"I'm going to go help gram with supper. Maybe we will be able to eat it then" I said and she laughed.
"Maybe if she just hands you the ingredients" she joked and I laughed as I heard Sharon's 'I can hear you' from the kitchen.
Stef
I'm so embarrassed by what happened today. I never meant to freak out like that.
"Hey sweetie" Lena said rubbing my back.
"Hey, sorry about what happened" I said and she shook her head.
"Hey it's ok, it's not your fault you had a panic attack." she said kissing my cheek.
"This little guy is causing you a lot of trouble" she joked gently drumming her fingers against my still flat stomach.
"I think it's a girl" I said and she looked over at me.
"You do?" she asked.
"Yeah, want to bet on it?" i said and she shook her head.
"Oh no, I've read something about women who know the gender before a machine could tell. Ain't no way i'm losing money on that bet" she said and I rolled my eyes. Give it too Lena to be researching pregnancy, well she started to do it with Frankie but I think she's doing some more now.
"You're such a nerd" I joked and she gave me a look of mock offense.
"Am not. You're just not going to do the research yourself" she said as if that's a bad thing.
"Why would I? I didn't when I was expecting Brandon and we both ended up fine"I stated and she rolled her eyes.
"Well there's more too it than just not drinking and no caffeine" she said and I laughed.
"Are you going to take something else away from me?" I groaned and she laughed.
"No baby I won't." she said and I smiled.
"Awesome. So chocolate?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.
"It's hidden in our room" she said and I shook my head.
"Please tell me you are not teasing a pregnant women with food" I asked and she laughed.
"My underwear drawer" she said and I laughed.
"I like the way you think" I said and she laughed rolling her eyes.
Lena
I have waited too long to make this call and I know it needs to be done. I picked up my phone and called my dad.
"Hey honey everything alright?" he asked.
"No, nothing is alright" I admitted sitting down on the porch. I felt tears in my eyes as I sighed knowing I need to fill them in.
"Stefanie was raped and she's pregnant and I don't know what to do" I said crying and I heard him gasp.
"What? Is everyone ok?" he asked.
"Yeah I just don't know how to help Stef" I said and he sighed.
"Oh honey it will be ok. I'm sure you are helping Stef" he said and I leaned my hand back against the wall. We talked for over a half an hour and it was great too finally let it all go. I didn't know how stressed I was until I talked to him. The more I talked to him the more he reminds me we can get through this and we will be ok again.
Ok I don't know if I liked that ending. Anyways I met skip a bit of time too Stef being a few months pregnant maybe in a chapter or so. I don't know let me know what you think. I love getting reviews from you guys.
