Hi everyone! New chapter... I hope you like this one... it was really hard for me to write.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters, everything belongs to E. L. James.
Chapter 9
Ana's POV
After finishing sending my resume to another 3 publishing houses I start to get tired and hungry. Is it so difficult to find a job in this area? I mean I have little money saved and don't pay rent, but if this keeps going I don't know what I'll do. Besides if this keeps going with Kate she will probably throw me out... Things were great, we have been inseparable since college, but since I met Christian we have been constantly fighting. Today was worst though. I won't be the one to talk first. I decide to go to the kitchen and eat something because my breakfast ended up on the kitchen counter untouched.
As soon as I entered the kitchen I hear my phone ringing in the back pocket of my pants and see its a number I can't identify, but decide to pick up.
"Hello!" I say to the other person on the line.
"Good morning! Is this Miss Anastasia Steele?" My heart starts to pound in my chest.
"Yes, it's the same."
"I'm Elizabeth Morgan, and I'm calling in the name of Seattle Independent Publishing, we received your resume and we're very interested." Oh My God, I'm screaming inside. This is the call I've been waiting for months, all this search and resume sending finally paid off, I try not to put my hopes up because she didn't tell me I had a position but fail miserably.
"Of course! Thank you so much..." I try to sound formal but fail once again.
"We would like to schedule an interview next week with you, on Monday at 10.00am, for the position of second editor in our publishing house, does that work for you?"
"Yes it works perfectly thank you." I'm so happy right now, second editor? Is she joking? I wanted a job, but this is a dream job. I can't wait to tell Kate... Shit Kate, as soon as I remember Kate my instant happiness falters.
"Good, see you on Monday Miss Steele. We will email you with further information."
"Thank you. Until next week" As soon as I finish the sentence she hangs up.
I'm so happy right now, I'm standing in the middle of the kitchen looking at my phone wondering if this was real, oh my god. From the corner of my eye I see Kate coming to the kitchen too.
"Good news?" She asks me and then presses her lips in a thin line and looks at me.
"Yes, very good news... I got an Interview for a publishing house... as a second editor" At this she smiles but doesn't move. Faster than I can process her arms are around me, but I don't move.
"That's great Ana! I'm very happy for you, I knew you could do it!"
"Thanks!" She lets me go and then looks at me with a sorrow look. Before she can say anything a turn around and entertain myself, pretending to search the fridge.
"Look Ana, about earlier, I don't know what came over me... One time a say a thing and then I go and act on the total opposite... I was wrong and I'm sorry by making assumptions. Besides is none of my business. I think I've been acting like this, because I know my brother likes you..." At this I roll my eyes.
"No hear me out Ana... I just assumed that my brother would be with you eventually, and then you go and start to hang out with the person he hates the most... Christian. I felt sad for my brother and pinned it on you and didn't even consider your feelings. I was an horrible friend." She finishes and I just stare back at her not knowing what to say.
"Listen Kate... You have to stop it. We always trusted each other right? With what you said you kind of broke that trust, at least some of it." I say and she just seats in the bar stool with her eyes downcast... very unlike Kate.
"I know I went too far... I admit it. I want you to keep telling me your stories and confide in me... and now I don't deserve that. But you're right I don't deal with Christian since my brother and him started fighting and that was a long time ago... so I have no right to judge him or assume the worst of him. I don't know what happened. If you like him, if you have feelings for him then I'm happy." This time she seems more convincing.
"What you said... still hurts. I may know him for a short period of time, but i like him very much. He makes me feel things that I never felt before... Its almost like i can be whatever I want to be with him. Just so you know I haven't and I quote "jumped his dick" as you said."
"Okay... got it. I'll be a better friend from now on, and I'll promise to try to be more supportive of you. The other day I told you that I wouldn't talk about Gideon and his feelings for you again and now I really mean it." I'll try to believe her.
"Kate... don't do it again okay?" I tell her and she smiles, comes and hugs me, this time I reciprocate.
"Thanks Banana!" Not that nickname again, she squeezes me and then lets go.
"Well moving on...do you want pancakes?"
"No thanks... Elliot is coming to pick me up, so we can go to the airport pick up my parents... apparently my brother went to pick them up too" Why? They need two cars?
"You need two cars?" I ask her and she laughs.
"Apparently my mom did a lot of shopping..." Now is my time to laugh.
"Okay then..." I don't know if I should say this but now I really need her help. "Kate... look, I'm going to have dinner with Christian tonight again... and I was thinking that maybe you could help me get ready." She looks at me and then realizes what I'm saying.
"You mean that... you need my help to get dressed and give you some advice?" She asks and I nod. "So you're finally ready to do it?" I take my eyes from her and nod again.
"Wow Ana... its a big step, but I'll tell you something the first time always sucks... its painful and uncomfortable. At least for me it was, but I think I can't say much about because my first time was rushed, I wasn't ready and I was I teenager with ranging hormones. You on the contrary waited until you're ready so it will be better for you, because your mind is also prepared for it. I won't lie it always hurts a little, but it also depends on the sexpertise of the guy" she says and I laugh.
"Okay thanks Kate..." Well I'm starting to be nervous, I don't know what to expect. I've waited for this for a long time, I'm afraid of it being just pain and not pleasure.
"Don't stress it Ana, you will be fine...I probably will have lunch with my parents and Gideon, but I'll be here at night to help you get ready don't worry." She says and I smile.
"Thanks K." She gives me a smile in return.
"I was thinking that we could celebrate your interview tonight but it seems that you will have a private celebration..." She tells me and I blush thinking about the possibilities.
"Whatever Kate... we still can celebrate tomorrow." Suddenly I hear the door bell... it must be Elliot.
"Well Elliot is here see you later... bye."
"Bye! Say hi to Eamon and Claire for me please." She says she will while getting out.
I finish my pancakes and try to call Christian even though he told me that he had meetings all day. He picks up on the second ring.
"Christian? You there?" I say after a awhile.
"Sorry Ana, I had to leave the conference room..." Did he just interrupted a meeting cause of me?
"Christian you could have declined, I'm sorry I interrupted..." Now I feel bad
"Nonsense...There has to be some advantages of being the boss of your own company." He says and I laugh.
"I just wanted to tell you that I look forward for tonight, and that I solved things with Kate once again..."
"Good to know! And I look forward for tonight too, I was thinking that we could have dinner at my place. What about I come pick you up at 8pm?" He asks and I shiver... His place?
"Fine by me! Oh I almost forgot I have an interview scheduled for Monday... at a publishing house as second author!"
"That's great Anastasia! Congratulations... now we have one more reason to celebrate! I knew that someone wasn't stupid enough to let you go!" he says and I blush...
"What you mean with one more reason?" I didn't know we had one
"I talked with Gideon this morning again and lets just say that we come to terms with each other... its not perfect but at least we can be in the same room together and not kill one another."
"That's great Christian, maybe I can talk to him now..." Gideon really did great.
"Well, just make sure he doesn't try anything with you... I know he said he wouldn't but I still don't trust him."
"It's okay... I know Gideon for years, at least he respects me and my decisions, so I think we're good." I hear him telling someone to wait and remember that he is in a meeting "Christian go back to you meeting, I'll see you tonight...I have things to do anyway." I don't but I tell him I have so he can go back to work.
"Okay Ana... I'll see you tonight." Tonight...
"Okay bye."
The rest of the day goes by and Kate finally gest home with a bag from Victoria's Secret.
"Hi Ana! Ready to impress?" I give her a nervous look and she grins at me.
"Kate I don't want nothing provocative..."
"What? You're joking right? You have a body to die for, you need to show it, especially now if you want to sleep with Christian." I want to look sexy not like a total hooker.
"I have new lingerie here. My mom bought it for me but I like it, how can I say... more open... but its perfect for you. Its sexy, reveling but not too much reveling and black... its perfect." Okay it might not hurt.
"Okay then..." I say uncertain.
"Go try it" Kate gives me the bag and I go try it. As soon as put it on, I feel powerful sexy... I never gave a big deal about panties and bras, but this is other level.
For another hour Kate work's on my hair and make up and gives me a black dress, that I quote "has easier access" but still gives me a reserved look. It has a lot of cleavage, but somehow I like it. We finish at 7.55pm which doesn't give me enough time to prepare myself psychologically. Today is the day I loose my virginity. I hear the doorbell and my heart begins to beat like I just finished the marathon.
"Calm down, you will be fine... if you don't return tonight I will assume that it went great." She tells me and then winks.
I go to the door and open it. If my heart was already beating fast he is ready to explode now. In front of me is Christian in a suit that screams rich, sexy and beautiful and on top of that he is smiling... God help me.
"Good night Anastasia! You look stunning..." He says while looking me up and down.
"You don't look so bad yourself..." He smiles and then gives me his had for me to take.
"You ready?" He asks and all I can do is nod.
"Good lets go then..." I say goodbye to Kate and head to his car where Taylor is waiting with the door opened . Christian lets me in first and then seats beside me. Taylor starts the car and Christian pulls up a privacy window...
"Well I didn't get a kiss... yet" He says and I blush. Before I can process his hands are around my waist and his lips are just above mine as if asking for permission. I grant it and we start making out like horny teenagers. I might not be a teenager but I'm definitely horny. Christian's tongue starts to caress mine and my hands go to his hair. I don't know what happens but before I can understand I'm on Christian's lap and his hands reach my legs and I shiver. My head fall on his shoulder and he starts to kiss my neck.
"I'm sorry about the hickey..." He whispers and I finally look at him.
"Its okay!" I don't know what came over me but i press my lips against his once more and close my eyes. "I missed you" He gives me a beaming smile and gives me one last peck on the lips.
"Well Miss Steele, I'm here now..." He says and then we feel the car stop, I adjust myself and Taylor opens the door. As soon as we get out of the car I see an underground garage with at least eight cars and a private elevator.
"This is where a put my cars. Its also a private entrance, nobody enters this area." What he said shocked me. I knew he was rich but I never had rationalized how much.
"These cars are all yours?" I mean Gideon has lots of cars but Christian exceeds it.
"Yes... but security uses some of them. The white one belongs to Gail, my housekeeper, you will get the chance to meet her sometime. I gave her the weekend off." Oh okay that makes sense... I guess.
We enter the private elevator and Christian puts on a code and his digital finger print and the elevator starts to rise.
"You look puzzled..."Christian says smirking at me.
"Yeah... I never seen something like this, its like something taken out of a movie..."He laughs and then does a serious face.
"Ana... I have a lot of power... and money. It comes at a price. I receive threats sometimes..." Threats? Why would someone want to hurt him?
"I guess I never thought about it... I knew but never thought much of it... it's overwhelming" I say and look at him. The elevator comes to a stop and we get out. I look around and see right in front of me the most beautiful view...
"Do you like my penthouse?" He asks and I nod... The view says it all.
"Christian this view is amazing... you got me just by this only."
"Yeah... You can see Seattle from a different point of you. Would you like a tour of the house and something to drink? " He asks and I nod... I can't say anything I'm too nervous.
"Ana... just relax okay?" Great now I'm even more nervous... "Ana... what's in you head?"
"What do you mean?" He grabs my hand and leads to a big leather couch and makes me seat by his side.
"Tell me whats wrong..." I look at him and see his beautiful gray eyes shine with concern.
"Nothing really... I'm just nervous. That's all..." I tell him and look at my hands
"Ana... look tonight we are going to do whatever you want, you don't need to be nervous... we'll do what you ready to do." He puts my face between his hands and kisses me.
"Thanks!" I manage to say after a while.
"You welcome... do you want to eat something now?" I could use some food.
"Yes, please. What's in the menu?" I ask and he instantly gets up and takes me to a big kitchen table, where the food is served in covered plates. Christian pushes the chair in order for me to seat and uncovers them. I look at the plate and my mouth instantly waters. It looks amazing... did he cooked this?
"No, I didn't cooked this, but my housekeeper did before going home to enjoy her weekend off..." How did he managed to answer my question without me even asking?
"How did you know what I was thinking?" He looks at me and laughs... I mean, really laughs.
"Well I'm very good at reading people, it's what makes me good at my job and besides... its was written all over your face." With this we start to eat in comfortable silence enjoying the sea food.
After a while I start to think about what Christian said about himself in the last few days, mainly his lifestyle and BDSM. Has he practiced it all his life? Does he need the lifestyle? If so, can I be with him like that? The pictures I saw the other day start to pop up in my head. Can I do that?
I realize I've been quite for too long and see Christian looking at me, so I decide being honest with him.
"Christian... can I ask you something?"
"Always..." I nod and look at my plate
"Do you still practice the BDSM thing? I know that Elena introduced it to you when you were fifteen...so I was wondering if you need that... if you need to be a dominant" Finally I said it... "I just don't know if I can do it" Christian stares at me and tells me to follow him... we pass through the elevator and go into what I presume his bedroom. I start to panic but instantly relax as soon as Christian opens the window and we go to a beautiful balcony where are couches and chairs laid out perfectly.
"I thought that it would be better to have this conversation over here" We sit in one of the couches and look over the Seattle skyline.
"Ana, BDSM is all I've ever known my entire life and I'm not gonna lie to you... I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it because it gave me power, allowed me to be in control of everything. With BDSM i don't have to be afraid of being touched because I control it... This is why I thought Elena helped me, she showed me a way of coping with the pain. Now is different, as you know I found out that things are not as I thought they were...I realized that I was never in control. Gideon told me something that really made think. He said that she didn't help me at all, she just made me avoid my fears. With BDSM I'm just avoiding my fears not facing them..." My eyes are filled with tears as I hear what he is saying. "And Ana..."
"What?..." I manage to say between my tears.
"I want to face my fears with you... " His puts his hands on my cheeks and cleans my tears with his thumbs. "Besides the lifestyle was getting boring." I laugh and he smiles.
"Thank you for telling me this Christian... Thank you for trusting me" I cuddle beside him and lean my head to kiss him.
"Do you have more questions Miss Steele?" He asks playfully "Go on... I feel like sharing today!"
"Well, I have one more question but we can leave it for another time" He looks at me and then tells me to ask it anyway.
"Christian... why do you have fear of being touched?" I ask and immediately regret it. Christian begins to tense beside me and then tabes a deep breath. "Christian sorry I asked, you don't have to tell me."
"No its okay... Before I went to the foster home...the one where Gideon was, I lived in the poor part of Detroit with my mom. She was a prostitute and a drug addict so she would do anything to get money, even sell me as a punch bag. Sometimes men would enter the house and rape her and tie me to a chair so I could watch it...she didn't even move, she was too stoned to do it. When they were finished with her they would come to me and beat me with a belt, burn me with cigarettes on my chest and back... anything they felt like. My mom didn't even move, she didn't try to protect me. Honestly I don't know how I survived, she didn't even feed me, I was the one to look for food... I remember that I ate only peas for about a month. Then my mom overdosed, leaving me alone. I was with her body for four days until we were found. That's why today I take defense classes, as kickboxing, that's why I can't be touched today... every time people touch me I have flashbacks and feel the pain all over again. Grace and Carrick adopted me after this... they were my salvation" By the time he finishes I'm sobbing uncontrollably. I feel for the little boy who was neglected and abused and cry for the man that is holding me.
"I'm so... so... sorry Christian" I manage to say between tears.
"Hey it was a long time ago, I'm stronger now... Baby don't cry for me okay... I don't deserve it." I look at him, shake my head and throw my arms around his neck but careful enough not to touch his back.
"You are so strong Christian..." I say and kiss his lips as I've never had done before, he soon reciprocates. Christian starts to lay me down on the couch and puts one of his legs between mine at the same time that puts his left hand around my neck. His right hand moves all over my body and then stops just above my breast. His hand starts to massage my breast and I start to involuntarily move my hips against is crotch. Christian continues kissing me and before I know I'm panting and pleading.
"Christian, please..." I beg him and put one of my legs around his hips. I start to feel him against me and gasp. He is really huge, not that I have anything to compare it to, but even I can see how big he is.
"Oh Ana!" He groans and I push his hair towards me in order to get more friction. "Ana..." I ignore and start to kiss his neck "Ana... we need to stop" Not gonna happen... I'm a woman on a mission now.
"No we don't... I don't wanna stop Christian, I want you!" He stares at my eyes, then gets up and leads me back to his bedroom.
"Are you sure Ana?" I nod "I need you to say it..." I get close to him and whisper in his ear.
"I want and need you Christian, please take me to bed " I don't need to say it twice because Christian finds my mouth again and starts opening the zip of my dress, soon the dress is on the floor and I'm standing in front of him in my black lingerie.
"God Ana! You're so fucking beautiful..." I blush at his intense stare. "I'm losing my fucking mind", he said into my mouth "You make me forget everything..." I grab his neck and start walking backward, pulling him and his wild kisses to the bed behind me. He falls on top of me and I wrap my legs around his waist.
"Christian... I don't know what to do now..." I held up my hand to show how much it was shaking "Keep calm baby I will take care of you". He undoes the button of his pants and lets it fall to the ground, next he takes of his shirt and throws it to the floor. My racing heart is the only thing that is making me believe that this is truly happening.
Christian crawls over me and resumes his torture all over my body. He starts to kiss my neck, then each one of my breasts, and finally he pulls my panties down my legs and smells them.
"You smell heavenly Ana..." I pant and he opens up my legs giving him a total view of my sex. I start to arch my back with need and fortunately Christian realizes that and starts stroking me with his tongue down there.
"Ohh God... Christian don't stop..." He starts to speed up and inserts a finger inside me, and Its the most pleasurable thing I've ever experienced in my entire life."Ahhh please Christian..."
"Baby you're so wet for me... God I love it..." I start to tremble and feel something building inside me... Christian stops and I cry.. I was so close...
He takes off my bra and his briefs follow next, leaving us both naked, I look at Christian dumbfounded and he smiles.
"You're so big" I tell him and he laughs.
"Don't worry you'll stretch " Christian takes a condom from his nightstand and unrolls it over his shaft. "You're so beautiful baby..." He reaches between us and positions himself against my throbbing wet sex. I put my hands around his neck and for a moment he looked scared.
"I won't touch you I promise..." He nods and start to pull him closer. "Please." I whispered.
He groans, exhaling as he lowers his body over mine, he stops and looks into my eyes asking for permission, I nod once again and he pushes into me fully in one quick move. I cry out and feel tears rolling down my cheeks.
"I'm so sorry baby... it will only hurt for a little while" he kisses my neck and lays still, probably until I feel comfortable with his size. Soon I start moving against him.
"You okay?" I nod and he kisses my nose. "I'm going to start moving now...". Christian starts to move slowly, the sensation is astounding, the feeling of his chest on mine, of his face against my neck, of my arms around his neck and hands diving into his hair, of his hands pulling my thighs around his waist, of his hips pivoting as he moves inside me. Please don't ever let this end. I don't want this moment to stop. We were out of words, and covered in sweat. I feel myself building much like earlier but this time it's much more intense. I feel my eyes close in ecstasy.
"Look at me baby" Christian says as he continues pounding into me. I feel him in and out of me so fast that I can't process it, but damn it feels so good. I never thought it could be this good, I never thought I would feel this happy. "Baby open your eyes to me I wanna see you come for me." I open my eyes and Christians is looking at me with desire and longing, and in this precise moment I feel special and wanted. His mouth moved from my neck to my mouth and we held them open against each other, breathing and on the edge together. He moved his parted lips over my mouth as he moved on top of me and I began to speak silently.
"I'm coming Christian" I say and he speeds up again. All we can hear is our heavy breathing and the batter of our bodies. Before I know it, I wave of pleasure hits me and I let go of the building pressure inside me.
"Ohhh god Ana..." Christian follows and falls on top of me, heavy. We are a mess of sweat, sheets but contentment. Now I know what all the fuss was about, but the wait was totally worth it. I'm so glad I waited for Christian.
"How are you feeling?" Christian asks and pulls out of me to take off the condom. It hurts a little but I guess it's normal.
"I'm a little sore but I guess it's normal for a person who just lost her virginity " I smile and he covers us with the sheets.
"Thank you Ana... for trusting me" He says as he wraps his arms around me and puts his lips against my neck.
"Always Christian..." With that I fall into a deep sleep.
So here it is! I said that I would post the family reunion here, but this chapter is too long as it is so I will put it in the next one.
I hope you liked Ana's first time. Tell me what you think by reviewing or sending messages.
Love Bia X
