Four in the morning.

I was awoken at four in the fucking morning.

Emily drove my barely conscious body to the saloon, where the other bridesmaids and Lily were happily and excitedly chattering about the day ahead. I must have looked like a zombie, especially compared to them. Their hair and makeup had turned out perfectly, and when I looked at myself, I just didn't see it. My eyes could only see the exhaustion in my face.

Sleeping all day was a bad idea, to say the least, because that meant staying up all night. It was maybe two in the morning when Len and I just passed out in front of Nightmare on Elm Street.

I'll be awake for the wedding, I had told myself. I got enough sleep yesterday. I'll be okay.

Then we went off to Lily's apartment for our dresses. All the bridesmaids were dressed in the same light-pink, tight dress, while Lily's dress was just… stunning. Watcher her put it on, however, was less so.

"Suck in!" Ia yelled, over and over again.

"I am!"

Luckily, there was no pre-wedding meltdown. I was scared of one of those.

Before we had left, I took one last look at myself in the mirror of Lily bathroom. The dress was long, though not nearly as long and Lily's, with a white band around the waist, and a single strap that wrapped up around the back of my neck. Turning around, I blushed as I found that the entirety of my upper back was bare. Ah, well. I told myself. No one will be paying attention to me at all.

And, finally, to the wedding. Emily had actually hired a limo for us, which had been amazing. It was by then that I actually felt like I was warming up to the day. It was a celebration. A day to be happy. A day to not be tired.

In the limo, Lily even did the stereotypical popping of the wine bottle. She drank a fair amount of it, too. I laughed, but did not join in. Alcohol would make my eyes even heavier.

And then we arrived at the venue. Finally.

Lily stayed in the limo, waiting for her Dad's signal that it was safe to come out. They were very traditional about not wanting the bride and the groom to see each other until the very last moment. The rest of us filed into the line.

The second I saw Len, a wide grin spread across my face. He hadn't even bothered to smooth down his hair. He was dressed in a fancy-looking tuxedo, adorning a light pink bowtie to much us. The rest of them were dressed in a similar manner, but I wasn't interested in any of them.

"Sup!" I greeted Len in my usual, formal manner as the rest of the girls and I scrambled for our places in the line. Through the doors, I saw that every seat was filled. I gulped.

"Hey," Len said. His lack of enthusiasm caused me to look back at him in concern.

"You okay?"

He nodded, looking me up and down.

I grinned nervously, and blushed.

"You guys ready?" Janice appeared out of nowhere, didn't wait for a response, and then disappeared into the room of people. The guests had already realized the ceremony was starting, and had turned to watch us walk in.

And I was first.

I took a deep breath. You're okay, you're okay. Just wait for the violin. Just wait for the-

The violin started, and I nearly jumped forward. Len chuckled at my paranoia, and offered me his arm as we started down the aisle.

We're walking down the wedding aisle.

I brushed the thought away. This wasn't my day. Not today.

"You can relax, you know," Len whispered to me.

I shook my head, aware that every movement of mine was being witnessed by all of Len's family. "Today has been… something. Already."

"You guys got ready together?"

I nodded. "They look amazing."

He huffed. "Standing next to you, I didn't even notice them."

We reached the altar and parted. I watched him walk to his side over my shoulder, almost tripping in the process. Thankfully, everyone was looking at the next couple instead.

Yellow tape, yellow tape. I searched frantically for it. I could tell why they had decided to use yellow; it was nearly impossible to see unless you were looking for it.

I found it, and placed my right foot over it. I stood with my hands politely behind my back, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. Mayu and her partner walked up, and she took her place next to me soon after. The violinist in the background, I noticed only once I had begun to relax, was playing a beautiful melody, sounding much better than a piano would in their ceremony. The elegance of the instrument fit much better with Len's family, I felt, than a traditional piano would. Taking a peek over at the woman, she was enjoying it as much as everyone else. Eyes closed, passionate expressions passing over her face, she was really into it. I grinned. I should do a violin for my wedding.

All of the bridesmaids and groomsmen had reached the altar. Once the carpet was cleared, Dillon appeared at the doorway, and slowly walked to his place. The crowd had fallen silent. He wore the confident expression he always wore, seemingly no more impressed with the ceremony than any other day. Once again, I understood Len's dislike of him. But there must be some good qualities of him if Lily cared about the guy so much.

Looking over the crowd, there were many familiar faces in front of me. It was comforting. I was lucky enough to be placed in front of Len's family, and, looking over to the other side, I felt bad for Len. He didn't get to be by his family, either.

It was then that my eyes caught the flower basket in front of me. The white one. Not only was it easy to tell which one was smashed, but it was obvious where Len had plucked a flower out. Again, no one else could tell, as far as I could see, but the flowers I had fixed might as well have been black in the sea of white. I stared down at them.

The violinist paused for a moment, catching my attention. The crowd had settled, Dillon had taken his place, and we all waited with bated breath for the bride. Even though I had already seen her today, I could already tell that this was going to be my favorite part of the ceremony as well. Her big day. Her big walk.

The violinist started again. This time, she played a slow, romantic tune, dragging her bow slowly across the strings.

Lily and Mike entered through the doorway. She had put her veil on, and it hung loosely over her hair. It reached all the way down to the floor, where her dress dragged elegantly behind her. She held a bouquet of white roses with green petals and accents. Her expression was one of pure joy. I could not help but grin back at her as she whispered to her father. I don't know if I had ever seen someone so happy.

I looked over at Len. His eyes were glued to her as well. Cry, softie. I mentally taunted him. Do it.

They reached the end of the carpet. The both stopped a few steps before the altar, before Mike released her arm, and returned to his seat. He plopped down next to Emily, who was already sobbing.

Lily shot Dillon a nervous look before stepping next to him. She handed Ia her bouquet, and folded her hands together in front of her.

The violinist dragged out one last note, before silently lowering her violin and bow to her sides. She held the neck of the violin with both hands in front of her. It hung down to her waist, her bow tucked professionally between the thumb and index finger of her right hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the Minister began. "We welcome, and thank you, for joining us on this wonderful day, to celebrate with us the wedding of Lily and Dillon. Your love and appreciation is what made this day, the relationship, and this life, possible." He was wearing the same outfit as yesterday. He spoke loudly and clearly; this was obviously not his first wedding.

I listened to his introduction, my interest slowly waning. Yes, it was a special day. Yes, it was important and beautiful to watch. But I couldn't even force myself to be entertained by the seemingly endless talking, the speeches, anything. The only important part was the entrance, the rings, and the exit.

"Lily, Dillon. Marriage is the promise between two people to love each other, to trust their love of each other, and to spend the rest of their lives together."

My eyes flickered from the couple to Len, who had been gazing towards me. I met his eyes for a moment, dropped the contact to my feet in embarrassment, and returned to the couple.

He continued his introduction. On and on he spoke of what marriage was about, how wonderful it was that such a large crowd had turned out, and whatever else. I tried my best to look interested, to not let my eyes droop, and to not yawn. I was fairly successful.

"In that spirit, their reading today will be done by Diane, Dillon's mother." The Minister nodded towards a woman on Dillon's side of the stand.

She was a short and stocky woman. She made her way across the room to the podium, holding a bookmarked Bible in her hands.

Traditional, I mentally rolled my eyes. The clock above the door read 10:06. I had been here for a little over fifteen minutes. Just twenty more to go, more or less.

"Hello and good morning," Dillon's mother, Diane, began. She stood at the podium. From behind her, I could see that a step had been placed so she would be able to reach the microphone. I grinned. "Today, I would like to share with you all a verse from our Lord about the wonderful and caring nature of marriage. In the first Corinthians, chapter thirteen, verses four through twelve, it reads," she cleared her throat. Her voice was rather melodic, low for a female, and confident. I could see where Dillon got his air from. "'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongdoings.'"

Len was looking at me again. I could tell just out of the corner of my eye.

Diane continued. "'Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But when there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away…'"

The rest of her verse seemed unrelated to me, but the beginning was indeed moving. Religion had never had a large part in my life. But the impact of these words still stood with me.

"'Now, I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

Two parts make a whole. I smiled again. Cute.

She closed her book, and leaned into the mic. "This verse especially speaks to me, because in it, I see the love and Lily and Dillon share…"

I couldn't take it anymore, I looked over at Len. Once our eyes met again, his mouth curled into a smile.

Dillon's mother spoke for a few more minutes before returning to her seat. The Minister cleared his throat once more. "That was beautiful, Diane. We all thank you for your verse." He looked back to the couple in front of him. "Now, it is my knowledge that you two have prepared vows yourself?"

Dillon nodded slowly. Lily nodded furiously. They didn't break eye contact the entire time.

And then the vows. Another part that I found important, yet boring. Dillon spoke first. He talked about how he knew from when they first met they were "meant to be." He kept his vows short, yet infused with love. I nodded slightly to myself in approval.

Lily's were much, much longer. I imagined, after she had been speaking for a minute or two, that if I were to write her vows down, it would be pages upon pages in length. They were still impressive, spoken in a poetic way that I had never heard from her, but I felt a flash of relief when they were finally over.

"Wonderful," the Minister beamed. "Now, may I please have the Maid of Honor and the Best Man present the rings."

Mayu and the man standing next to Dillon stepped up. Dillon went first. He gingerly took the ring from his Best Man's hand, and held it up.

"Your wedding ring is a symbol of your promise to one another," the Minister explained. "Look at each other now and remember this moment in time."

They did. They never stopped looking at each other.

"Dillon, please take Lily's hand and repeat after me-"

Dillon did as he was told.

The Minister began. "Lily, this ring symbolizes my love for you and the commitments we made today."

"Lily," Dillon spoke slowly. "This ring symbolizes my love for you and the commitments we made today."

A tear fell from my eye. Shit, I muttered to myself, quickly wiping it away. My eyes immediately found Len, who had definitely seen. He was silently laughing at me.

I glared daggers at him before returning to the couple. Dillon had just put the ring on Lily's finger. The Best Man stepped back into his line.

"Lily, as you place this ring on Dillon's finger, repeat after me."

Lily nodded, turning to Ia to grab the ring. Ia had put the ring on her thumb for safekeeping, and held her arm straight out, giving Lily the thumbs up. Lily chuckled, and it rippled through the crowd as well.

"Dillon, this ring symbolizes my love for you and the commitments we made today."

"Dillon," Lily repeated. "This ring symbolizes my love for you and the commitments we made today." She slipped his ring on.

I looked over at Len again, just to see him quickly rub at his eyes. It took everything in power to not scream in victory.

"Dillon, do you take Lily to be your wife?"

He nodded. "I do."

Ah shit, here it is.

"Lily, do you take Dillon to be your husband?"

"Yeah," she spoke softly. "I do."

Emily had continued her sobbing. She was a mess, but a beautiful mess. She watched with wide, red eyes.

"Lily and Dillon, you have come here today of your own free will and, in the presence of family and friends, have declared your love and commitment to each other. By the power of your love and commitment to each other, and by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now share your first kiss as husband and wife."

Lily basically jumped at him. The crowd laughed as they shared their kiss. Must have been eager, I reasoned with myself. Len was smiling at the couple. I know the feeling.

"Congratulations," the Minister concluded. "Friends and family, I present to you the newly married couple." He rose his arms to the air. "Let's hear it for them!"

Everyone in the room stood,clapping, cheering, and yelling. Emily and Mike probably the loudest of all. I joined in on the applause. Len did as well. When he noticed me looking at him, he closed an eye in a sneaky wink.

The couple stood together under the altar as people threw red rose petals into the air from the crowd. I laughed loudly now. That wasn't a part of the rehearsal at all.

The photographer stood in the aisle, snapping picture after picture, before finally moving out of the way as Lily and Dillon started to the door. They started at a walk, upgraded to a jog, and finished with a sprint out of the room.

Goosebumps appeared on my arms at the looks on their faces. Pure joy and happiness. Yeah, I concluded. Dillon can't be that bad.

The violinist started up again, and we began to file down the aisle. Len and I met up last. My heart jumped as he offered me his arm once again.

"You cried," I stated at my normal volume. The room was still erupting in cheers.

"You did, too."

"But that wasn't the bet," I countered.

"Yeah," he admitted with a laugh. "I cried. I'll admit it. You were right."

A triumphant grin spread across my face. "At last, the words I've always wanted to hear."

We exited the room, leaving the thunderous applause behind us. Lily and Dillon were grinning, laughing, and posing for their photographer in with the peaceful, snow-covered mountain in the background. The other bridesmaids and groomsmen were chatting away while watching the new couple.

"Welp," Len let a deep breath out. Our arms were still linked. "Just the reception now."

"Just?" I asked.

He nodded. "And then it's all over."

My eyes were glued to the couple. I knew what he was saying, but it couldn't form thoroughly in my mind.

He took my silence as a cue to change the subject. "You're gonna dance with me at the reception, right?"

My head snapped to him, a look of disbelief covering my face. "What? You want to dance!?"

He pulled at the collar of his tux. "Yeah! I mean… why not?"

I shook my head in disbelief. "Who are you?"

"Kids!" Emily called from behind us.

Len and I both looked over our shoulders to see her running towards us, Mike in tow.

"Would you two like to ride with us to the hotel? The cake should be there soon, and there are just a few things we still need to set up!"

"Sure!" We answered at the same time.

"You guys are the best!" She started for the car, and we followed. "Okay! So all we need to do is get the cake when they bring it, make sure our musicians have somewhere to play, set out the guestbook and welcome table, bring out the silverware…"

This was turning into quite the list already.

Lily's rental car was just as clean as when we left it. Len and I piled into the back seat with Mike behind the wheel and Emily next to him in the passenger seat. She was still talking.

"Ma," Len asked, leaning forward and putting a hand on the back of her seat. "You don't want to take pictures with them?"

She waved him off. "Oh, no. We've had plenty of pictures already. Also," she shot us a mischievous glance. "I look awful right now."

"Oh, hon. Everyone cries at their daughter's wedding," Mike consoled her. He pulled out of the parking spot and sped off down the road.

"You didn't!"

"I promise you, I will later."

The shot each other loving glances. Man. So much love today.

We drove in silence for a few minutes. Len leaned over on me again. I tried my best to push his stray hair out of my face. It tickled.

"Len, you'll be able to take us to the airport tomorrow, right?"

This question impacted me in ways I never would have imagined. Len confirmed, but his voice was only a echo in my head as I took a sharp intake of breath. It would all be over tomorrow.

"What time is your flight?" Len asked.

"Noon."

Noon. We would have to leave around 7:30 or 9 in the morning to get there in time, and then we would drop them off, and drive the four hour drive back in silence. With Len's head leaning affectionately against my shoulder, I could already feel the tension in the air as we would drive back from the airport. And then we would go to his apartment. I'd pack.

And then I'd go home. Things would go back to normal. But the thought seemed all but comforting.

My eyes fluttered down to the blonde boy. He was still talking to his parents, seemingly in a different world. He stared ahead with those bright blue eyes, talking to his parents with those lips that had kissed me so many times this week.

The kiss. The butterflies I had felt at the museum, the sly flirts, the hand holding. It would all be over. And the deep disappointment I felt, staring down at him and thinking over the past week, made me realize something. Maybe it wasn't fake anymore.

Ah, shit. I finally admitted it to myself. I had dreaded this week, and now that it was almost over, I'd give anything to go back. Because I didn't want it to end. I didn't want us to end.

I took a deep breath. Of course I'm stupid enough to fall for my best friend. But did he feel the same? There was evidence to support, for sure. But… how could I say it? My wit started with jokes and ended with… jokes. How could I tell him what was going through my head?

Another uncomfortable feeling rose up in me. I couldn't tell my best friend something. I couldn't believe it, this had never happened before. Never.

"Rin, will you come with us?"

Emily's question brought me back to reality. "Um, huh?"

"To the airport," she clarified, turning to look at me. I must have looked frazzled. Her brow furrowed in concern. "You okay honey?"

Len sat tall to look me over too. I saw him out of the corner of my eye. With my newfound realization, I found it extremely difficult, no, impossible, to look at him.

"Y-Yeah!" I stammered. "I'm going with you guys. And, I'm fine."

"We'll have to wake up early," Mike warned.

I faked a smile. "That's okay! I'm used to it by now."

That seemed to satisfy the occupants of the car. Emily turned back towards the front, and Len cuddled up to me again. His head was much heavier on my shoulder now.

We pulled up to the hotel not long after that. There wasn't anything to carry inside, and, more importantly, nothing to distract me from the statue that still remained as the one and only bane of my existence. I stared it down as Len and I followed his parents across the lobby.

"What's with the statue?" Len finally asked.

I feigned ignorance. "Huh?"
"You stare at it every time we walk through the lobby."

I shrugged. "It's, a, it's a long story."

"Shorten it for me. I'm curious."

Mike and Emily opened the double doors. I lowered my voice. "You know that… bag? From Lily's party?"

He nodded, leaning in to hear me.

"Well, um, those handcuffs?" My voice was barely above a whisper.

A small grin formed. "Yeah?" He egged me on, though I knew he could see where this was going.

"They were, uh, around her wrists. I had to… um, go get them."

He paused. "In front of the whole lobby?"

I nodded slowly, still refusing to look at him.

He snorted, then erupted into full blown laughter. My face grew red as Emily and Mike turned to us.

"What is it?" Emily asked, looking left out.

"N-nothing," Len told her between laughs. "Rin just- HAH - Rin just told me a funny joke."

His laughing made me laugh, but my face was beet red. Thankfully, his parents decided not to push.

About two and a half hours later, the guest book had been set out, the silver had been dispersed, the guests had arrived, the cake stood tall in the corner, the orchestra had set up (it contained a strings quartet, including the violinist from the wedding), and everyone had settled down for dinner.

The speeches had begun. Emily stood first, clinking her fork gently against her glass to gain the room's attention. She began to speak, but, like all day, I spaced everything she said as I retreated into my own thoughts.

I was right, Len and I were sitting at the table on the stage. Emily and Dillon were in the middle, with Len and I on Lily's side. There had been tons of people at the ceremony, but there looked to be even more people at the reception. I scanned the room. Each table held about ten, there were… eighteen tables, and nearly every seat was filled. Wow. I could never imagine even knowing that many people, let alone having that many friends.

Len sat next to me, still in his dashing tuxedo, watching his mother speak. I felt a pang of guilt that I would not hear her, most likely, wonderful speech, but I just couldn't concentrate right now.

Emily sat down, and there was applause. A man on Dillon's side, his father, I assumed, stood next.

Len's hands rested limply on the table. I could tell he was eager to eat; I was too. My eyes floated over the crooks of his hands that I had come to be so familiar with throughout the week. Without thinking, I slipped my hand under his. He shot me a kind smile, the look in his eyes driving me even crazier than before, and brought his attention back to the speaker.

What would I do without him? It was a serious question. I had never had any problem with living alone before, but now, just the thought of my apartment gave me chills. I had always been an introvert, but the idea of being alone at home scared me. Even though I was still living with him, I began to think of Len and I's normal Monday morning trip to our coffee shop with apprehension and excitement.

Another negative feeling passed through me. Why should I have to look forward to spending little moments with him, when I could just live with him?

Dillon's father sat down. I pondered these thoughts over and over in my mind until the last speaker, Meiko, finally finished. Len rubbed his hands together as the party was dismissed for the buffet line.

Dinner was over, the audience had watched the happy couple cut the cake, and cocktail hour had begun. I didn't see the bar open, but I didn't need to. People were already beginning to laugh too loudly, walk too slowly and clumsily, and spill their drinks.

Len had devoured his food, Lily and Dillon had their amazingly sweet first dance, and the dancefloor was open.

Len leaned back in his chair. "Dude. I can't move."

My plate sat in front of me, most of my food still remaining. I couldn't find the heart, or the hunger, to finish it completely. "So no dance?" I joked. I still couldn't look at him. I kept my eyes on the dancefloor as happy couples danced, and children ran around their feet.

He chuckled. "Oh," he began in a low voice. "There will be a dance. I promise you that."

My chin had been resting in my hand as I gazed out into the crowd. I had to move it. For the love of God, I was shaking. I was shaking, sitting next to my best friend of many years. I couldn't believe myself. How could I act like this? Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that something so sudden could change me so drastically.

He leaned forward suddenly. I had gotten lost in my head again. It had been almost five minutes.

"You ready?" he asked me.

I took a shaky breath. Calm the fuck down, I scolded myself. It's just him. Why, why why was I so nervous? Dammit.

"Y-yeah," I stuttered, cursing myself again.

He pushed his chair back, standing, and holding his hand gently out to me. I took one last deep breath, my gaze starting at his outstretched hand and working its way up to his face. At the sight of his dorky, handsome face, I gulped. He had that goofy grin on.

"May I have this dance?" He asked softly.

Another deep breath. How could he not see what he was doing to me? I swear I felt a zap of electricity when my small hand met his. I stood, and walked with him to the floor.

"Do… do you even know how to dance?" I asked. My eyes looked everywhere except him. I feared that meeting his eyes would turn my legs to jelly.

"I know enough."

Despite myself, I laughed. "Enough?"

The quartet played a gentle tune as the couples danced gracefully across the wooden floor. I suddenly thanked God for my choice in shoes, these flats were extremely comfortable, comfortable enough that I didn't have to take them off. I saw several pairs of bare feet running around. Classy, I thought.

He stopped us near the middle of the dancefloor. He held my left hand with his, and gently placed another hand on my waist.

Another deep breath. Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush don't -

"You're blushing," he snickered.

"Fuck you," I muttered, looking over at the quartet. He laughed as he started leading us around the floor.

"I think they should have had a DJ."

I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. "What?" I looked over the elegant performers. "Why?"

"So they could have a rave."

I shook my head, a smile forming. "You can have a rave at your wedding."

"Would you be okay with that?'

I shook my head. "Are you kidding? Weddings are supposed to be fancy. The orchestra-" And then my mind processed what he had actually said, and my mouth clamped shut. My embarrassed and angry eyes met him.

He held in a laugh. "You're doing it again."

I headbutted into his chest so he wouldn't see my face. "Fuck you," I repeated.

We stayed that way for a while, before I finally pulled myself away from him. Anything else. Look at anything else. Anything.

A child ran past us, almost running into me. Stepping out of the way just in time, the child merely sent a ruffle through the bottom of my dress.

Oh God. I'm in a dress. And he's in a tux.

I could die. This was so amazing and yet so embarrassing at the same time. I wanted to go hide in a closet somewhere, and at the same time get shit-faced and party the hell out of the night. That's probably what Lily's doing, I thought with a smile.

We danced slowly for a few songs, exchanging no words. As the time went by, I noticed he had become more tense. His movements weren't as careless and graceful - graceful?! Len? Rin, what the fuck? - as they had been when we first started.

The debate on whether to ask him if he was okay had just begun in my mind when he beat me to it.

"Rin, you're all… quiet."

I sighed. "...yeah."

"What's the matter?"

My eyes found the quartet. In our dance, we turned away from them, and I desperately looked for something else. "Um, nothing."

"Bullshit." His voice wasn't so kind anymore. Not mean, either, just… worried.

Fuck. I'm worrying him.

"I'm fine, really."

"Then look at me."

My breathing hitched. He had noticed. "Um…"

"Look at me," he repeated.

I bit my lip. He waited patiently.

Bracing myself, I slowly pulled my eyes to him. It had the effect on me that I knew it would. It took all of my strength not to melt into the floor.

He pulled me closer, and, before I could even think of hesitating, pulled me into a deep kiss. My head spun. I rested my hands on his chest for support. The room moved around us, but it felt like we were the only two there. One hand on my waist, and the other cupping my cheek.

It lasted only a moment. Definitely our shortest kiss. Or so it felt.

"Tell me what's wrong," he demanded as he pulled away.

The orchestra began a new song, this one much more upbeat and quicker. We began to move faster through the crowd so we wouldn't be trampled. Smiling faces and laughter surrounded us. I resisted the urge to break free of him and sprint for the door.

"I, um, I just…" Dammit, Rin. Get yourself together. It offended my conscience that I was this hung up over a boy. Over Len, moreover.

He stared me down, mentally egging me on.

We spun faster. Our feet moved faster. Miraculously, we didn't trip once.

"I'm just confused, like-" I cut myself off again.

He just kept staring.

"I just don't want to pretend anymore, okay?" I yelled out much harsher than I had meant to. My gaze was finally able to meet his with the same strength and emotion.

His expression faltered a bit, before darkening. "Well," he said, slowly and quietly. "You don't have to after tomorrow. You can go home."

"Wha-" No, Len, you idiot! For a straight A student, he head sure was full of air sometimes. That's not what I meant at all. I mean I want it to be real! Not that I want it to end!

"Rinny!" A slurred voice called out behind me. I didn't have time to clarify. The defeated look on his face stabbed at me painfully.

What? No, no, not now.

Sure enough, it was Lily. Still dressed in her amazing gown, still with her perfect hair, still beautiful in her makeup, only much, much more drunk. "I'm about to throw the bouquet!" She slurred.

"Oh, um…"

The rest of the family had returned to the stage. Only the bridesmaids seats were empty. Turning back to Len, confusion overcame me. He had gone. I caught him walking the steps back to our seats. I felt shiver run through me. No, wait. Come back.

Lily held her bouquet, and I was suddenly surrounded by a crowd of young girls. She grinned brightly at the group, before turning around, and tossing the flowers into the air.

I actually felt incredibly trapped, the happy mood from the wedding seemed only a memory to me now. I was alone in this crowd of people I barely knew, surrounded by a room of strangers, with the person who was familiar to me retreated away.

I didn't catch it. I don't know who did, and I didn't care.

There were cheers around me. I blinked tears from my eyes, clapping along with them, like a puppet. I ruined it. I had ruined it.

Lily cheered louder than ever. Suddenly, Dillon was at her side, and the crowd I was standing in formed to be larger and larger, until the entire room formed in front of them. They divided into two sides, leaving another aisle for the couple to walk down, before the husband and wife ran through us. The exited the door, leaving for what I assumed was the last time, before the crowd dispersed into a heap of goodbye's.

I have never been so happy and so thankful for Emily to tap on my shoulder.

"Dear!" She yelled. Seeing the expression on my face, her smile dropped instantly. "What's the matter, Rin?" Her hand found my shoulder.

I couldn't speak. I was choked up. There was nothing to say, anyway. I stared at her like a maniac, my mouth trying to form words, and failing.

"Rin, honey, shh," she tried to calm me.

I felt awful. Again, this was a celebration. And here I was, on the verge of tears, with the bride's should-be-happy mother in front of me.

I barely recognized the faces that passed us as she led me out of the room.

"Let's go home," she whispered, holding onto my shoulder. "It's been a long day, sweetie. You're tired."

I shook my head like a child throwing a tantrum. It was home for me anymore.

"You should stay," I squeaked out.

"Oh, no," she waved her hand. She did that a lot. "I'm exhausted too. And you were right. A crowd of too many people can be… stressful.

I thought back to the day we had picked her up. The airport had been awful. And we were going again, tomorrow.

Emily basically carried me to Lily's rental car, and we drove home in silence. She didn't pry, thankfully.

"What about Mike and L-" his name caught in my throat. "Len?"

"They can walk, dear. You need some sleep. Plus, they'll have to clean up after, anyway."

Another jab of guilt caught me. I should have helped.

The apartment was quiet and empty. I went straight for Len's room on impulse, before halting right at his door. My dress was heavy and suddenly uncomfortable. I kicked my shoes off next to the closed door. I couldn't find the strength to push it open.

"Rinny," Emily began carefully. "Did something happen with you and Len?"

The question was expected, but I was still unprepared to answer it.

"No," I said, finally pushing the door open. "Nothing happened with us. Nothing ever."

I closed the door behind me.

It had to have been around two or three in the morning when I half awoke, feeling the bed next to me. It was empty. Confused, I sat up, blinking at the empty space.

There were voices in the living room. They were what woke me up.

I laid my head back down. He's coming, I told myself. He's gonna come in.

But the door never opened. I realized, with the feeling of being stabbed in the gut, that Len was probably going to sleep in the living room.

A single tear rolled down my cheek as unconsciousness took over me again. Len was avoiding me.