Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Note: Special thanks to my beta, kazfeist, for the beta job, and for going back through all the previous chapters and betaing the changes. You rock! Also, thanks to eilonwy, for the long chats about this fic, for encouraging me to rework it, and talking through glitches with me.
ALSO: The reason for the long wait for this chapter is that this story needed a minor overhaul. As a result, chapters 1-8 have been edited, with a few important additions here and there that will impact future chapters. If you wish, have a look at the newly reposted chapters.
ooo
Chapter Nine – Hot Tin Roof
The next two weeks passed quickly. Pansy was essentially self-sufficient, and Hermione was very busy with work. She spent all of her free time reading, hanging out with Pansy, or writing to Draco. Pansy had even mentioned finding for her own flat and had started looking, but the prices quickly deterred her.
On the very first day in October, a Saturday, Hermione had planned for Pansy to see Draco once more. It was, she hoped, to be the last time she coordinated their interactions. Matilda Maphet believed Pansy was ready to be allowed to see him whenever she wished, and one more occasion was required in order to test her.
There was a special, one-time showing of a popular Muggle play and, thanks to names like Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Draco Malfoy, they were able to get eight prime box seats.
Blaise had asked Hermione to go and she'd said yes, though as friends. Blaise had smirked and replied, "Of course."
Everyone would have a date; which meant Draco would have a date. Pansy would see him with another woman, in very close quarters.
The night of the show, Hermione dressed in a very special replica of a 1938 evening dress. It was made of black silk satin with a black silk net overlay embroidered with black sequins. The inner dress was strapless, and the overlay added thin straps that formed a "V" in the front. She'd seen it in a vintage magazine and Pansy had surprised her with a handmade replica—commissioned—for "another birthday present." Hermione suspected Harry's involvement.
A simple string of pearls and a pair of pearl and diamond earrings completed the look, along with a pair of strappy heels. Pansy did her hair, looping it into an intricate up do with pearl-studded pins strategically placed in her hair.
Pansy wore a dark red gown with a deep V in the front and a deeper V in the back. Hermione hated her for a few seconds because she looked absolutely perfect.
"You're gorgeous, Pansy," said Hermione with a sigh.
"You too," Pansy replied with a smile.
"You're an excellent liar," Hermione teased.
Pansy's eyes widened. "I'm not lying!"
The bell rang and Hermione rushed to the door to admit Harry, Ron, and Suzette. Blaise, Draco and his date would meet them at the theatre.
"Wow, Hermione!" said Ron, kissing her on the cheek. "Who are you trying to impress?"
"Oh, 'ermione, you look exquisite, magnifique!" exclaimed Suzette. "Twirl."
Hermione complied, reddening slightly at the attention. When she stopped, Harry was looking at her. "You're incredible, Hermione."
"Just wait until Pansy walks in the room," she said, waving him off. "No one will remember me."
"Don't say that," said Ron with a disapproving frown.
"Everyone ready?" said Pansy excitedly as she entered the room. Harry's head shot around to look at her and he couldn't take his eyes off her.
"See?" Hermione whispered to Ron and Suzette.
"Oh, 'ee doesn't count, ee is in love with her," said Suzette encouragingly.
"Let's go, Pansy," Hermione called, heading out the door. Her stomach was in a mass of knots and she wanted to get the evening started, so that the end would come sooner.
ooo
When they arrived, Blaise was waiting. He blinked when he saw Hermione and bit his lip. Then he smiled and walked to them.
"Evening all," he said, taking Hermione's hand and kissing it. "You're absolutely stunning, Hermione."
"Thank you," she said, feeling the knots tighten.
"Is Malfoy here yet?" Ron asked, standing on his toes to look behind Blaise.
"I haven't seen him. But he won't be late, I assure you."
Just when Blaise finished speaking, the front door opened and a pretty, dark haired woman walked in wearing a pretty, dark teal blue, tea-length dress. She had a black wrap around her shoulders and as she stepped over the threshold, she turned around and laughed at something the man behind her had said.
That would be Draco.
He looked as impeccable as he always did, his pale hair in perfect order and wearing a black tuxedo.
Hermione swallowed hard.
Then Draco put his hand on the woman's back, gently steering her toward the group he'd already spotted. They were both smiling and Hermione thought she might be sick.
"Draco!" said Blaise, shaking hands with him.
Draco appeared surprised to see his friend, and after a quick glance at the whole party, his eyes narrowed, if only very slightly. Only Blaise noticed, and he grinned.
"Good evening," Draco said, addressing everyone. "You remember Karen, I'm sure," he said, smiling at the witch he'd come with.
"Nice to see you," said Harry.
The others greeted her as well.
Hermione couldn't take her eyes off Draco and she didn't even care that she was staring. He had greeted everyone else but her. When he turned to her, he flicked his gaze over her and when their eyes met, for just a brief instant, Hermione felt she would drown in the look he was giving her. But it was too short; he looked away from her, leaving her feeling empty.
Draco, who had purchased the tickets, handed them out and then ushered the group toward the stairs.
On their way, Pansy pulled Hermione aside.
"I cannot believe he brought her!" she hissed.
"Why?" said Hermione.
"Because! She's my friend! I cannot believe she's seeing him! Is she seeing him? Or is this a one-time thing?"
Hermione bit her lip. "Pansy, there's no way I can know the answer, but…if I had to guess, I'd say they're seeing each other." Hermione hated to admit it out loud, but it truly looked as though Draco were seeing Karen. Despite the emotions churning inside her, both of insane jealousy and confusion, she had to present an impassive front for Pansy. "You knew he was going to bring someone."
"Yes, but…a friend of mine? How could she?"
"When I think about it, this makes sense. I mean, did we really think he would date someone you've never met? You know how small the wizarding world is; it's very unlikely he'd date someone you didn't know."
Pansy's shoulders slumped. "I thought she was my friend."
"She is," whispered Hermione.
They reached the top of the stairs and Pansy returned to Harry's side. When they reached their box, Harry and Pansy, and Blaise and Hermione sat in the front row, with the others behind them.
All through the first half, Blaise did everything he could to annoy Draco, who was seated behind him. He'd lean over and whisper to Hermione—who sat perfectly still throughout the entire thing—or brush her hand with his…at one point, he even put his arm around Hermione's seat. When his hand reached up to rub Hermione's shoulder, Draco accidentally-on-purpose kneed him in the head.
When intermission arrived, Hermione needed to get away from both Blaise and Draco. She didn't know what was going on—she thought Blaise knew they were just friends. He had been acting so strange lately.
As soon as they were in the hallway, Hermione feigned that she'd forgotten something in her seat. Blaise offered to get it for her, but she declined.
"I'll meet you all downstairs."
"By the bar," said Ron with a grin.
She rolled her eyes and turned back toward their box. She sat in her seat and took a few deep, calming breaths. She'd told him to move on…had he? Or was this an act, for Pansy's benefit?
"Excuse me, Miss."
Hermione looked up to find a theatre employee holding a small dustpan and a brush.
"Oh, sorry," she said, standing and quickly exiting the box.
When she found her friends, everyone but Draco was there. Pansy was silently glaring at Karen when she thought the other witch wasn't looking. Harry and Ron were walking about Quidditch with Blaise, and Suzette was chatting with Karen.
Pansy grabbed Hermione's wrist when she joined the circle. "Draco's gone to try and get us into the after party. It's supposed to be really nice."
"Oh, okay," Hermione said, somewhat disappointed. More than anything, she longed for her warm bed and a carton of ice cream; not necessarily in that order.
Suzette and Karen wandered off to go to the loo, and Harry pulled Pansy aside.
"Fancy a drink, Hermione?" Blaise asked, touching her elbow.
"Oh, yes, please," she said.
"Ron?" Blaise said, and they both wandered toward the bar.
Hermione was alone for at most a few seconds before Draco returned. He had a strange look in his eyes and he glanced in the direction Blaise and Ron had walked.
"So… are we going? To the after thing?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah, um, all eight of us."
Draco made a quick movement with his wand causing Hermione to drop her program. They both reached down to pick it up, he ostensibly to pick it up for her. In the brief moment when their heads were close, he whispered, "Blaise knows."
Hermione froze and looked at him, eyes wide.
"Just…me, anyway," Draco said, hoping she would understand that Blaise only knew about Draco's feelings and not hers as well.
Hermione stood up and for a moment felt completely dazed. Draco blinked at her, and she looked away, taking a deep breath.
"Thanks," she said. "For… helping me."
"No problem."
"What's with you and Blaise?" she asked, hoping they had a few moments to talk.
He shook his head once, slightly. Blaise and Ron returned and Blaise handed Hermione a drink. She didn't even look at it, feeling too out of sorts to think, and downed it in one go.
The three men were surprised. Hermione smiled, handed the glass back to Blaise. "Woo. Thank you, I needed that. Well, I'm going to go sit down. Excuse me."
She hurried back to her seat and after the lights had been flashed, the others slowly filed in around her. Blaise asked her if she was okay, to which she gave him a quick smile and a positive response.
She could tell he didn't quite believe her.
ooo
After the play, Draco led them to the ballroom for the after party. The entire cast was to be present, with an elegant spread of desserts and hors d'oeuvres, and a generous selection of wines paired with the dessert offerings.
It was a wonderful party, but Hermione wanted to be home. When the dancing started, she watched as Draco and Karen danced three songs in a row.
Pansy was watching too, and when the pair took a break, she found Hermione by the punch bowl.
"Have you danced with Blaise?" she asked.
"No. I'm not feeling too well," Hermione replied. "You and Harry?"
"Yes, but…"
Hermione looked at her friend. "What?"
"It's just… weird to see them together," Pansy said, taking a sip of wine. "I don't know what he sees in her."
"Don't think about that," Hermione insisted. "There's no point in thinking like that. It doesn't matter what he sees in her. Not really."
"You're right, but…" Pansy sighed. "I can't get over the fact that she's my friend. Friends aren't supposed to date your ex-boyfriends."
"He's not really your ex," Hermione replied, somewhat on autopilot. She was having all of the same thoughts as Pansy, only she reckoned she felt worse than Pansy. Considering everything Draco had said to her.
"Well, sort of. Fourth year…"
"Pansy, that was a long time ago."
"Yes, but she knows. She knows how much there is—or was—with me and him. How could she do this to me?" Pansy was nearing tears, Hermione could tell.
"Maybe you should talk to her."
"I thought about that, but… I'm supposed to be getting over him. I'm supposed to not care."
"So do you? Not care, I mean?" Hermione asked.
"I care… because she's with him, and I thought she was my friend. Not that he's with someone."
"Well… who could he show up with that you'd be okay with?" Hermione asked.
Pansy chuckled. "No one, I guess."
"You have to be okay with anyone."
"Anyone?"
"Even…even your friends," Hermione said, testing the waters somewhat.
"Do you think I should… say hi to him?" Pansy asked.
"Sure, why not? He's your friend."
"He's alone right now, I think I'll go say hi."
"Okay."
Pansy left and made her way across the room. Draco smiled warmly at her, and Karen left his side and made her way toward Hermione.
"Hey, Hermione," Karen said with a big smile.
"Hi, Karen. How are you?"
"I'm well, and you?"
"Just great, thanks."
"Blaise is such a sweetheart, you two make a lovely couple."
Hermione clenched her jaw. "We're not together."
"Oh! I'm sorry! It just looks—he's so attentive—I'm sorry."
"It's quite all right," said Hermione
"Is Pansy… okay with this?" asked Karen. "I don't want things to be… weird."
"You should definitely talk to her about that. Not me."
"Right, I'm sure you're right, but you're also taking care of her, in a way. Draco told me everything you've done for Pansy, and it's really, really wonderful."
Hermione raised an eyebrow. "He's told you everything?"
Karen shook her head. "No, not everything, I'm sure. Just that you've taken Pansy in and taught her how to do things, like cook and clean—valuable skills, I'm sure—and helped her get a job."
"Oh. Well, yes. I have helped her with those things."
"Draco thinks the world of you, the way he talks about you."
Hermione thought she caught a bitter tone in the other woman's tone. Then she reasoned that, as Pansy's guardian with respect to Draco, she had every right to ask questions. "Karen… how long have you two been seeing each other?"
"Well…" she smirks. "I guess it's your job to keep up with that kind of thing, isn't it?"
Hermione smiled wryly. "Yeah."
"You keep Pansy happy or placated…Tell her the truth in a nice, kind way."
"Something like that," Hermione said through gritted teeth.
"It's been about three weeks, but they've been the most amazing weeks of my life," Karen replied wistfully.
Something about that hit her funny. "Three weeks…" she repeated.
Karen nodded and continued. "Only, you would think after all this time—especially considering his greatly lauded reputation—that he would have at least kissed me by now. It's all hand-holding and awkward hugs …"
Hermione wasn't listening. She thought back to what had been happening in her life three weeks ago. Their last party had been three weeks before…Draco had met Karen that night. Her stomach wrenched painfully—he'd obviously asked to see her again that night. But then… then she remembered that just twelve days before, she'd spent her birthday at Flourish and Blotts, and Draco had given her the beautiful necklace. And he'd kissed her, and told her he liked her. She felt confused and hurt, despite knowing that Draco had done exactly what she'd told him to do.
Karen kept talking, but Hermione wasn't paying attention. She repeated, "Three weeks?"
Karen stopped talking then and looked at her strangely. "Yes … is that important?"
"It's … maybe. No reason. Would you excuse me?" Hermione didn't wait for an answer before practically running out of the room. She made it into the large hallway and leaned heavily against the wall. Everything hit her at once. She really liked Draco, but he was with Karen when he'd told her he liked her. She knew, in her head, at least she thought, that Karen was really just the witch he'd chosen to be seen with by Pansy, but then again, she didn't know Draco that well. Maybe he was seeing her because he couldn't have Hermione, and he liked Karen too…
It was too much; she was tired. She didn't want to be Pansy's shoulder all the time—she needed someone to lean on. She was tired of always putting Pansy first. She didn't regret it, she really didn't want to begrudge Pansy, and she hated that the only area of her life where she was torn was with respect to Draco. If he hadn't invited her to dinner, none of this would have happened…
She started to cry a little.
Harry came into the hallway and went to her. "Hey, I saw you leave, are you okay?"
She sniffles. "Yeah, thanks, Harry."
Then Blaise came out, looking for her. She took one look at him and the tears came in delicate rivulets. Because he knew. He really knew; everything about his behaviour over the last few weeks now made sense. She could cry and he would know why and she wouldn't have to say a work. He knew how Draco felt, and he had backed down from pursuing her. She wondered what exactly Draco had told him.
Hermione quickly tried to stifle her cries, but Blaise walked over to them and said, gently, "I've got this, Potter."
He wrapped his arms around Hermione and she let go, stopped holding back. Harry stood by awkwardly for a few minutes before leaving them alone, feeling very confused.
She continued to sob in his arms, noting briefly that she was probably getting his shirt wet. Blaise held her close and protectively, his hand resting on the back of her head.
"Shh, Hermione. It's okay, you know it's okay."
"I'm just … so tired, Blaise."
After a few minutes, Draco and Karen came out. From down the hall, he could see her wrapped in Blaise's arms, crying. He was angry at first—Blaise had gone too far. Then it hit him that Hermione was really upset. He stared at them, frozen. He couldn't go to her, couldn't comfort her…he couldn't do anything and he felt completely helpless. And Blaise was holding her.
Blaise looked up and saw Draco, standing with Karen who was trying to pull him back into the ballroom. Blaise didn't want Hermione to know Draco was there, so he turned and led her out of the hallway, leaving Draco stare after them.
ooo
Draco sat by his window all that night and the next morning, waiting for an Owl from Hermione. When nothing came, he started to worry. He'd Owled Blaise about what he'd seen, but the response he received was less than unsatisfactory.
"Draco. Ask her. Blaise."
He decided to try and be patient, to wait for Hermione to come to him. It hit him Monday night that she probably wouldn't. Unless Blaise had told her—and he suspected he hadn't—she had no idea he'd seen her crying. Still, it wasn't like her not to write, at the very least about how Pansy had handled seeing him with Karen.
When no Owl came Monday night, Draco decided he wouldn't wait to find out what had been wrong with her.
Tuesday morning, after Pansy had gone to work, he knocked on Hermione's door.
Hermione answered after a few seconds.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, genuine shock registered on her face.
"Hey. Uhm, listen. Can we talk?"
Hermione's thoughts started spinning. Why was he there? What did he think he was doing taking such a huge risk! Pansy could have seen him! "I'm just getting ready for work," she said, glancing at her watch. "But I've got a few minutes. One second."
She dashed back into her flat and grabbed a jumper to ward off the crisp October air. She returned and shut the door behind her. "We can go on the roof," she said, leading him quickly down the hall to the lift.
They rode it in silence to the top floor, and Hermione led him to a set of stairs that seemed to lead into the ceiling. When she'd climbed as high as she could go, she pulled out her wand and muttered, "Alohamora."
The door at the top of the stairs popped up enough for Hermione to push it all the way open. When they were safely on top of the roof, Hermione rounded on him.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, somewhat angrily. "I can't believe you just… came here."
He frowned. "I waited until Pansy was at work. I watched her get there, and waited an hour before Apparating over here. Don't freak out on me, I'm not a complete idiot."
"No, of course not," she said, recovering some of her composure. "I was just…surprised. What are you doing here, Draco?"
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, then tousled it. "I'd expected to hear from you."
Hermione shrugged and looked away, into the wind, letting it blow through her hair. "I wasn't ready to write you."
"Hermione, did I do something?"
She shook her head but still wouldn't look at him.
"Look… the other night, at the play. I saw you. Really upset. Crying."
She looked at him. Tears pricked her eyes and she quickly looked away again. She hadn't wanted him to know. "Oh, that was… nothing."
"At least don't insult me. I know that wasn't nothing. I've been going out of my mind with worry for three days—please, tell me what was wrong."
He stood, his hands in loose fists at his side, watching the back of her head. She reached one hand up and wiped her eyes and he wanted to be the one to comfort her, to tell her everything would be okay.
Hermione had been debating since the party whether or not to tell him. At that moment, she realized they'd been completely open and honest with each other since the beginning. If he'd seen her upset, truly worried about her, then maybe he could handle hearing her reason.
She took a shaky breath. "Okay, I—I'll tell you." She looked back at him, but hair blew in her face. She tried to brush it away but it was no use; the wind kept blowing it in her face. Finally she grabbed it all and used her wand to loosely secure it on her head. "I'm not even really sure why I did it, but…I was talking to Karen at the party, and I asked her how long she'd been seeing you."
Draco looked at her really hard. She hadn't expected that.
"And?" he said.
"She said… three weeks."
"Right. Pansy's party until the other night."
"I—I understand that, but… it hit me that it overlapped with the time you came to Flourish and Blotts and I was there. You know… my birthday…"
"I am aware of that."
Hermione wrapped her arms around her chest. "Well, it's stupid, maybe, but it hurt. Knowing that you said one thing to me, and then said who knows what to her…"
"You're completely joking, right?" Draco said, incredulously. "You cannot be serious."
"I am serious," Hermione insisted.
"You're the one who wanted Pansy to see me with someone. I did what you wanted! I found a woman who'd go out with me a few times, so that eventually, you would put us in the same place as Pansy and Potter. I did what I could do to make that happen."
Hermione's lip quivered. "Yes, well, I suspected as much…"
He threw up his hands. "Okay, then, what was the problem?"
"Why didn't you tell me? That you had been seeing her?"
Draco became even more incredulous. "You told me not to! You said you didn't want to hear the details if I started up with someone—"
"Details, Draco. I didn't want to hear about your intimate conversations and walks in the park. But a heads-up, 'oh, by the way, I've been dating someone for three weeks,' would have been nice!"
He clenched and unclenched his fists. "Letter number forty-one, I remember it well. 'I don't know to know, but I do, but I don't.' I had to ask three women I work with to help me decipher your meaning, and I got three different answers. I finally decided it would be best not to tell you, since you seemed so undecided."
"I would have rather known."
"Then you should have amended number forty-one," Draco snapped.
They stared at each other a few seconds and then Draco sighed. "Was that all, then? That's the full explanation for why you were crying? Because I didn't forewarn you?"
Hermione hesitated.
"Tell me. Please." His voice was almost pleading.
She bit her lip and said, "It still bothered me. Seeing you together. Even though I know I don't have the right to be bothered! I can't cry, or whine, or miss you because there's nothing to miss! I have absolutely no claim to your affections, your attentions, yet you've given both! And then to see you with someone else…it hurt, Draco. I know it's not right."
"Well, I don't feel that way," Draco said dryly. "That I have no claim on you or your affections. I wanted to bash Blaise's head in—my friend, mind you—repeatedly. With a very blunt object."
"Draco!" she said, astonished. "You have no reason to think ill of Blaise!"
"Except for his deliberate attempts to get under my skin the other night, you're right!"
She clenched her fist, fighting the tears threatening to spill over. "We've made each other no promises!"
"Not my choice!" he yelled.
"I don't have a choice!" she yelled back.
Draco stood looking at her, breathing heavily. Then he shut his eyes and rubbed his head. He knew it was true; at least, that she truly believed it was true. He had tried to be understanding, to be patient; he didn't think he could keep it up.
"If you did?" he asked very quietly.
Hermione took a deep breath. "Then nothing would keep me from being with you."
Draco sighed and walked to the edge of the roof, leaning on the railing. "I'm sorry," he said, sounding defeated.
Hermione moved to stand beside him.
"Pansy has been running my life for so long—parts of it, anyway—that I quickly lose patience. And she is all that is keeping us apart…"
"No, Draco," said Hermione kindly but firmly. "It's me. I could go around with you, lie to her, see you despite her. I choose not to."
"I know," he said quickly. "You wouldn't be you if you did sneak around with me. But…she's got herself into this mess in the first place."
"Yes, but remember, Draco. If she hadn't gotten into this mess, we wouldn't even be here, talking about why we're not together."
He looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry you thought for even a moment that I'd moved on."
"But I told you to."
"And I told you I wouldn't."
"For how long?" Hermione asked, turning away from him before he saw a tear fall. She casually wiped the tears away. "How long before you get tired of it, tired of waiting? Wouldn't it just be better to go separate ways?"
"No."
"What if it's years, Draco? What if it's never? You have to move on sometime."
He gripped the railing so hard his knuckles turned white. "I won't wait years, Hermione."
Despite her heart breaking just a little, she also felt relieved. At least he was willing to accept the truth—that it was possible nothing would happen between them.
"Good," she forced out.
He looked at her, his eyes bright. "If I thought I truly had to wait years for you…I would."
"Why?" she whispered. "Why would you wait for me?"
"Don't you know?" he asked quietly.
She said nothing and looked away, too afraid of what he might say.
"Hermione, you are the most incredible person I've ever met. You have a beautiful essence, a sweetness, a goodness that is rare. You're intelligent and witty, yet you still enjoy simple pleasures."
She still said nothing. He wanted to do…something to show her how felt—hug her, or hold her…something—but all he did was shift his weight.
"I consider myself fortunate to know you, and to think of you being mine one day…I would never give that up."
"But…years, Draco. You won't feel the same."
"As I said, if I thought I had to wait years, I would. But I refuse to let Pansy control my life that way."
Hermione bit her lip. "Let's wait three months."
"Three months," he repeated after a moment. "Then what?"
"We'll…see. Pansy is doing so well…but I just can't ask her about this, tell her about this, right now."
Draco nodded. "Three months. What exactly are you waiting for? Her to come to you and say, 'Hermione I want you to be with Draco?'"
"No. I want her to have more time to get used to you before having to deal with the idea of us."
"I think you underestimate her in this, Hermione. I've known her a lot longer than you, and I believe she could handle it."
Hermione considered his words briefly. "Be that as it may, I still want to wait three months."
"That's so arbitrary!" he protested.
"Fine, then at least until I have seen signs that would lead me to agree with you."
Draco was quiet for a few minutes. Then he sighed resignedly. "Three months."
"Yes."
"Okay. Three months."
"Thank you."
He looked at her and moved to stand very close to her. "You have my word that I won't see anyone in that time. That the thought would never even cross my mind. I don't want you upset the way you were the other night. I don't want you worrying."
She nodded. "I try not to think about you."
Draco frowned. "I do nothing but think of you."
Hermione smiled. "As you are free to. If I dwell on what could be…I'm afraid I'll end up resenting Pansy or regretting what I've done for her. Continuing to spend my time with her. I don't want that."
"I know. Just know that you're always on my mind."
"I should go. I'm pretty sure I'm late to work already."
Draco took a step back. "I'll…see you in three months, then."
"Goodbye, Draco," she said and quickly hurried off the roof.
ooo
A/N: Thanks for reading! And thank you for your patience!
