Disclaimer: The characters of CSI: NY do not belong to me however this story is of my own and should only be used after permission has been asked and given. No copyright infringement intended and no profit is being made.

Summary: Danny and Lindsay are going to learn that sometimes you must lose, in order to gain.

Notes: As ever, a wonderful thank you to LoveShipper, MesserFamilyFann100, dannyandlindsayforeva, bookworm and afrozenheart412 for reviewing the previous chapter. I'm sorry for the long wait but hopefully now that I'm on summer break I should be able to update more frequently.

This chapter gets a little heavy between Danny and Lindsay in the physical sense however it's important to the piece.

The Parent's Apple

It was close to one o'clock in the morning when Danny quietly pushed open the apartment door and stepped inside. The apartment was quiet but the light seeping through suggested that Lindsay was still awake. Dropping his keys into the bowl on a table by the door, he shrugged off his coat and hung it in the cupboard, placing his shoes at the bottom. There was a time when he would have simply thrown his jacket over the back of the couch and kicked his shoes off anywhere. Smiling amusedly, he walked down to the living room. Lindsay was curled up on the couch, the afghan draped over her shoulders and a book in her hand. She looked up as he entered.

"What are you smiling about?" she asked, a smile of her own peeping through.

"Nothing, just… thinkin'," he shrugged. Leaning over the back of the couch he gave her a chaste kiss.

"I left some casserole in the oven for you, did you want me to heat it up whilst you get changed?" she offered.

"That sounds good, thanks," Danny nodded with a smile. Circling round the couch, Danny held his hand out to pull Lindsay to standing and placed another kiss to her upturned mouth before they walked into the hallway, branching off into the kitchen and master bedroom.

Danny shut the door behind him and sank down on to the bed, rubbing tiredly at his face. It had been two weeks since they'd lost the baby and things seemed to be picking up. They'd fallen into a new routine, one in which Danny would work and Lindsay would spend time with Lucy when she wasn't at preschool. Other than running errands, he didn't know for sure what Lindsay did during the day but she didn't seem to have any complaints and making her happy was his main priority.

Danny stripped out of his jeans and shirt, throwing them into the hamper before pulling on a pair of comfortable sweats with his wife beater. He returned to the kitchen and stood in the doorway, watching Lindsay as she bent at the oven and pulled the casserole out. Straightening up, she turned and noticed him watching her. Smiling shyly, she set the casserole on to the table and he sat down to eat. She seated herself opposite him, nursing a glass of wine.

He glanced at her surreptitiously whilst eating; she looked as though she had something on her mind and switched between stealing glances at him and staring at the table thoughtfully.

"What is it, Linds?" he finally asked, pushing his finished dinner away.

She hesitated before offering him a smile. "I saw my OB-GYN today."

Danny's eyebrows rose. "You should've said, I would have come with you."

She shook her head with a smile and he sighed inwardly. Lindsay had always been open with him and yet she was suddenly becoming very private about her body. Lindsay, unaware of Danny's thoughts, pressed on.

"She said everything seemed fine. There were no complications with the… thing, and that we should be good to carry on as normal…" when Danny continued to look blank she continued, "sexually."

"Oh." Danny sat back, surprised. "So are you saying that you," he gestured between them, "want to?"

Lindsay toyed with the wine glass shyly and nodded. He grinned, pushing away from the table and rounding it. She turned towards him in her seat and he nudged her legs apart, stepping between them. Stooping down, he pressed a long kiss to her lips. She melted into his kiss, a moan escaping her as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Gripping her elbows, he pulled Lindsay to her feet so she was flush against his body. She could already feel his erection stirring and a thud of arousal dropped through her stomach.

Entwining his fingers through hers, he silenced her worries about the mess of the kitchen with another kiss. Danny let her take the lead, knowing that she needed the control or at least some resemblance of it. They reached their bedroom, their hands undressing and exploring each other as they slid slow, sultry kisses over the others mouth. Lindsay tentatively ran her hands down Danny's exposed torso, reaching the waistband of his sweats, her fingers idly tracing the line of flesh and material. Danny tensed beneath her ministrations and his mind was wiped blank as he tried to remember exactly why he was holding back.

His hands cupped her face and he kissed her. She yielded to him, whimpering as he poured passion into the sizzling kiss. Her body felt weak and she ended up sat on the edge of their bed as he overpowered her with his kiss. They broke away, breathless, and he pushed her back into the bed so he could climb atop her. He kicked the sweatpants off himself, eager for the contact of skin on skin. A hand moved between their bodies, setting her ablaze as she had him, until he reached her welcoming heat. She arched into him, sucking in a breath and seeking his lips for another kiss.

His hand dipped and he slid his lips over her cheekbone, his breath hot on her ear. "I've missed you."

Removing his hand from her delicious heat, he grasped himself and was drawn to her waiting entrance. She gripped his biceps in a familiar gesture but suddenly, as though waking to reality, he realised she was shuddering beneath him in anguish rather than pleasure. She swallowed, chocking down sobs as her body tensed with panic. He moved to get off her but her legs locked around his torso, keeping him in place.

"No wait," she said in a strangled whisper. "Please, just wait. I'm fine."

"Linds, look at you. I can't… I can't do this if you-"

"No, I want this. I do, I just…" she scrunched up her face, frustrated with herself. "I… I really do want you, but…"

"What is it?" he pressed, placing a reassuring kiss to her forehead. "Tell me, Lindsay, what is it you want?"

A lone tear slipped down her cheek and she brushed it away impatiently. "Can we use a condom?"