Chapter 9: Bad Choices
Edward had saved me from my worst nightmare, my step-dad. It had been about a month since the whole 'Phil incident'. Edward and I had been doing great but lately he had been acting very strange. Our first year of college was almost over and almost everyone was rejoicing. Everyone except Edward, that is. He began acting strange about three days ago when he had kissed me goodnight from our date.
We were now sitting on the couch in Alice and mines' apartment. He refused to touch me or even go near me, so we were on opposite sides of the couch. I wanted to know what was going through his mind.
"Hey Edward?" I asked.
"Yes?" he mumbled. I took a deep breath and prepared to ask my question.
"Why have you been –"then the door slammed open before I could get the rest of my sentence out. Alice stuck her head around the corner and yelled if we wanted lunch. Edward jumped up and went into the kitchen leaving me on the couch. What was the matter with him?
I walked into the kitchen and sat down in one of the chairs. Alice set a burger from Wendy's in front of me with a chocolate shake. I pushed the burger away from me and just grabbed the shake. Edward looked at me skeptically and finished chewing his bite of burger.
"Bella you should really eat something, you know. You haven't eaten anything all day; you need to get your energy back up." That was the first time he had said something caring in the last three days. I raised my eyebrows and set my milkshake down.
"Oh, so now you give a shit about me?" I asked skeptically. His head jerked up and he put down his food. That had been the first time I had ever cussed at him.
"Yes, I do care about you so just please eat your burger Bella." I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him a death glare. I probably looked more like a five year old than a nineteen year old, but whatever.
"I don't think so," I stood up from the chair and started crossing the kitchen "oh, and if you actually do care about me now I'm going to my room." I jogged up the stairs to my room and walked in closing the door behind me. I flopped down on my bed and grabbed my iPod. I turned it to "Right Round" by Flo Rida. I shut my eyes and practiced breathing slowly.
After about ten minutes I heard the door to my room open and someone came in. They laid down on my bed beside me but at a comfortable distance away. Edward. Even Alice would have laid down closer to me. I slowly opened my eyes and peeked through my lashes at him. He was staring at the ceiling looking like he was making a decision. Oh god. My stomach clenched into a knot and I suddenly knew something bad was about to happen.
I opened my eyes the rest of the way and rolled on my side to face him. He sat up and looked me in the eyes and grabbed my hand. He took a deep breath.
"Bella we need to talk," he started. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath then waited for him to continue.
"Well I've been thinking a lot lately about us. I realized something big that has changed your life. Me. But I haven't changed your life in a good way. I've ruined it Bella." He closed his eyes and paused for a moment.
"All I've put you through is madness. You've gotten your heart broken too many times by me. I just wanted to give you a better life than the one you've previously had but all I've done is make it worse." His voice broke on the last word. I stood up and grabbed his hands.
"Edward all you've done is made my life better. Ever since my mom married Phil I've had a really crappy life. You've made it a hundred million times better!" I finished.
"No Bella, I've made your life a living hell, so I decided I'm leaving." He turned his head away from me. I put my hands on either side of his face and forced him to look at me.
"Edward stop it, don't leave, where will you go? This year is almost over leaving now would be like screwing yourself over." Tears started filling up my eyes because I was thinking about the concept of him leaving me. "We need to be together Edward, please don't go."
"No, this is the best thing for you so I'm following it through. You can find someone so much better than me, Bella. He'll make you happy and keep you safe without breaking your heart." He stood up abruptly taking my hands off of his face. I looked up at his now blurry form, due to my tears. He turned and started heading out of my room down the stairs.
I stood up and rushed to the door of the apartment, the tears flowing freely now. It was raining outside but I didn't care. I stood at the railing locating where Edward's car was, but I came up empty. Then, I saw Emmett's car and Edward was opening the door of the passenger side. I ran down the stairs two at a time trying my hardest not to fall because there was no way I could make up that crucial time.
I finally reached the bottom and Emmett had just started the engine of his car. The rain was pelting me all over and I knew I was going to be soaked in a matter of seconds. The car started to pull away and I saw Edward turn around to look at me. I could barely see where I was going because of the rain and my tears. The car started to pick up speed and I tried to run faster. I tripped over my own feet and tumbled forward. The slick asphalt scraped up my hands and knees because I had tried to catch myself. My hands and knees were now bleeding and the car was already gone. The love of my life had just left me forever.
