Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 9: Casey Goes on Midnight Chatter

Maybe if Casey had known how conflicted Derek was. If she had known how he drove his assistant crazy asking for details about the night, all the while thinking that maybe he should come into work after all. If she had known that he had picked up the phone to call her, again, and then chickened out, again. If she had known how hard he was trying to not think about her. If she had known, maybe she wouldn't have said it…

"You're gonna be great, Case," Emily beamed, as she dropped her off in front of Midnight Chatter's building.

"Thanks. I'm really not all that nervous. When Sheldon called to prep me he said Derek probably wouldn't even show up tonight, so it's not like I have to worry about seeing him. Typical, huh?"

"Yeah, Derek's not my favorite person right now, but…I don't know, maybe it would be good for you to see him again. It might help you…let go."

"Hold your tongue, Davis. I am never speaking to that man again for as long as I live." Casey gave her friend a hug, and Emily knew that the conversation about Derek was over. She figured that maybe seeing him would help Casey realize how much they had thrown away. But who was she kidding? Not only did Casey hate when Emily talked about them reconciling, she herself wasn't one to judge. Her breakup with Sheldon hadn't exactly been amicable.

"Well, I'm sorry I can't be there. Knock 'em dead!" Emily told her. She really wasn't all that sorry. It wasn't like she was dying to see Sheldon in action or anything. She watched his show, of course, but wouldn't admit that to Casey.

Casey smiled. "I will. And it's okay that you're not coming. You are allowed to have other friends. You made this dinner date weeks ago. Have fun!"

Ever since her interview with Ryan Seacrest, Casey had been a lot calmer about public speaking. It didn't hurt that she had people falling at her feet wherever she went. Fame was quite the confidence-booster, despite its downsides.

Emily hurried off to meet her friend from Banner House, and Casey entered the building.

DwL=LwD

Sheldon introduced Casey as an old friend from high school, and Casey took a deep breath before stepping out onto the stage. She greeted Sheldon like they'd practiced, with a loose hug, to dispel any rumors the coffee shop hug started about them.

Casey and Emily had spent quite awhile on wardrobe. They decided on a skirt with a dangerously high slit up the side, and a top that revealed just enough cleavage. She didn't want to come off as trashy, but she had to keep in mind the statement she was trying to make.

Her head was swimming as she sat down in the armchair opposite Sheldon. He was one of those hosts that sat right next to the guest, and not behind a desk. Having him so close was oddly comforting.

"So, Casey, why don't you tell the three people who haven't bought your book a little bit about it?" Sheldon joked.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far. I'm really just hoping that anyone who reads my book will feel empowered."

"And by anyone, you mean, of course, any woman?"

"Yes. I'm sick of the inequality, so I wanted to do something about it. I want women to stand up for themselves and decide to be happy and live life on their own terms."

"Ah, so it's sort of like, 'We're as mad as hell and we're not gonna take this anymore!'" Sheldon was doing a great job of pretending he had never heard any of this. Of course, Casey had explained everything to him over lunch, and he had even taken a copy of her book home. He had gotten a few chapters in, and was actually enjoying it. Casey's suggestions were well-written, if a little drastic. He got the feeling that she had been hurt pretty badly, and this was just her way of getting out all of her feelings. He would never believe that Casey McDonald was truly against monogamy. She was a romantic, just like him.

They chatted about the book for a few more minutes, and Casey was completely relaxed. This was easy. She had practically forgotten that there were cameras.

"So I have to confess, Casey, that I didn't make it all the way through the book yet." He turned to the camera when some members the studio audience gasped on cue. "Chills, people, I'm not even the target demographic for it." He turned back to Casey, who was stifling her giggle at Sheldon's use of 'chills'. "Anyway, there's a later chapter that I hear is a bit infamous—that chapter about the worst kind of guy. Can you elaborate on that?"

Casey's smile tightened. "That's Chapter 8."

Sheldon nodded. "It's called 'Ladies' Man, Man's Man, Man About Town,' right?"

"Uh, yes. It's basically about a guy I knew in high school. He was the most inconsiderate person I've ever met. He had a new girl every week. He used them and then just threw them away. The few times he had a real girlfriend, he ended up playing mind games until the relationship was completely ruined. Not to mention the fact that he was completely incapable of showing emotion. The only person he ever cared about was his little sister, and that was because he always got her to lie for him when he screwed up."

It was a testament to Sheldon's professionalism that he showed no sign of recognition…this information was all new to him. Casey was sitting so close that she could see him gritting his teeth. She took it as a sign she'd better stop.

"I'm sorry, I got a little carried away."

"That's okay. This guy obviously hurt you pretty badly." Sheldon gave her a pointed look.

Casey blushed. She struggled to get back on topic. "I have to thank him, actually."

"Oh…really?" Sheldon asked softly.

"Sure." And then out came the words, before she could stop them. "He made me realize that I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. He showed me that marriage and commitment are just myths. No one should bother getting married nowadays. It'll just end badly. Women need to become truly equal partners in relationships and society. He made me feel like a second-class citizen. I would have to say, without a doubt, that guys like him don't deserve to live among normal people. They bring nothing but pain and destruction." Casey literally bit her tongue to stop herself from continuing. She was in way over her head, not to mention starting to sound a little melodramatic. Thank goodness Sheldon recovered quickly.

"Well, we have to go to a commercial, but I want to thank Casey McDonald for being with us tonight. And be sure to pick up a copy of Down with Love!"

Casey and Sheldon shook hands, and then they were off the air. Casey stood up and ran into the wings, fighting back tears. She had just trashed Derek on national television. And half the things she said were exaggerations. No matter how she felt about Derek these days, he was not a bad person. But she had used him as her scapegoat anyway. Her book was full of reasons why he was awful. She was the bad person for doing that.

"Case?"

"Shel, I'm so stupid," Casey whimpered, and he enveloped her in a hug. She rested her head on his shoulder. She was surprised at how warm he was. Warm and strong.

"Shh, shh. It's okay," he said soothingly, and stroked her hair. "You're just passionate about your work. It's okay. Makes for better TV."

Casey smiled through her tears, which were subsiding. "And no one's going to know who I was talking about, right?"

"Right," Sheldon said confidently. He hesitated before adding, "I know you're hurting. Do you think it would help if we went and talked to him together?"

Casey pulled away from him. "What? No! I don't ever want to see him again!"

"It was just a suggestion…"

"Well you can forget it!" There was an awkward silence. Eventually, Casey softened. "I just can't, okay?"

"I guess I have to respect that," Sheldon sighed. He gave Casey another quick hug, and then headed back to the stage. The commercial break was almost over.

DwL=LwD

Derek flicked off the television and stared at the blank screen for five solid minutes. Then he rewound the footage and watched it again. And again. And again. No matter how many times he watched it, that beautiful face kept saying those ugly words.

"Is that really what you think of me, Case?" Derek asked the figure on the screen. He sighed. "Well then, I think it's time for the world to meet the real Casey McDonald."