Oh boy, like seriously, I've got to stop being so excited about this story. Unfortunately, I don't think that's possible. Hope you all love (and hate ;) ) this chapter. Ps. I don't own the hobbit.

Dinner started out an awkward affair, to say the least. Everyone stared at me, much like the first night I had found them on the road. No one really dared make much conversation with me either. Bilbo had eaten quickly and then excused himself to wonder about the city more. I felt alone all over again. When I had finally had enough of their quiet I asked "Good lord you all have trouble talking to me when I'm in a dress. Is a lady that strange of a sight to you all? Are there not any dwarf women?"

"Not many actually." Gloin answered. "Dwarrow ladies are few and far between."

"Oh." I said. "So do dwarves have mothers and fathers or do they just pop out of the ground like in the stories my mother used to tell me?"

"We have mothers and fathers." Kili informed me.

"Your mother made us sound like tulips." Fili added, and I snickered at the idea.

"Not many of you are married then, I suppose." I replied.

Gloin puffed up his chest and stated "I'm a very lucky dwarf lad…er, lass…" He corrected. "I am happily married to one of the most beautiful dwarrowdams under any mountain." He then took an item from his pocket and held it out to me. It was some sort of keepsake frame that opened to reveal two pictures of dwarves. One of them was recognizably female, and admittedly quite beautiful (though it looked as though she had the beginnings of a beard).

"She is stunning." I complimented and Gloin's face beamed proudly. "I suppose the young man beside her is your son?"

"Aye, that strapping young lad is Gimli." Gloin said, in a voice full of pride.

"You all must have thought I was no older than Gimli." I speculated.

"We did." Gloin said. "Gimli wanted to come on this quest too, but I told him he was too young. Oh, he'll be right furious with me when he finds out we let a girl come with us when he had to stay back home."

"I happen to be married as well…" Bombur tried to speak.

"Not now, we're talkin' about my family." Gloin said.

I laughed at the two dwarves. "I have keepsakes from my family too." I said, handing back the frame to Gloin.

"What are they?" Ori asked. Normally I would have gave some blunt answer, but I so pleased that Ori's shyness toward me was fading that I rose from my seat and grabbed the blue enamel box from my pack. I opened the box and handed it to him. Ori gently shifted through the things. "You must have something in here for everyone." He noted.

"I do." I nodded. "The dagger is my father's. The little things are from my brothers." Ori gently touched a feather quill. "That was my brother Bael's." I said, softly.

"I'm guessin' the arrowheads are from the brothers who taught you archery." Kili said.

"Aye." I nodded.

"That there is a lovely thing." Nori said, reaching for the wedding comb. Dori slapped his hand away.

"Don't you go nabbin' anything from that box. Those aren't just any old trinkets." He scolded.

"It was my mother's. And my grandmother's before her, and her mother before, on and on, farther back than I can think."

"So I'm going to guess that little trinket you found back in the troll was for yourself?" Bofur asked.

I laughed over the event, they had probably thought me a lovesick young boy, utterly infatuated with some girl, and trying to woo her. "Yes, Bofur, I am that…what did you call it?...femme fatale. But you probably thought I was the most lovestruck little boy in the world."

They laughed, roasting sausages over the flames. "You know," I said. "Radagast was able to notice I was a girl."

"That man was able to see you were a lady?" Kili asked.

"Makes you feel rather foolish now, doesn't it?" I teased.

"Makes me feel entirely too sober." Dwalin huffed. I did not think he had quite forgiven me for mocking him before.

"Aye, perhaps if we had drank ourselves piss poor drunk to be in the same state of mind as that wizard we'd be able to see a little more clearly." Bofur agreed. "Speakin' o' drinking did we not grab some of that elfin brew?"

Fili flourished some small barrels. "We did." He smiled. "I'll grab the pints."

Soon everyone had a pint in hand. "May I try some?" I asked.

"You sure?" Fili raised an eyebrow at me. I nodded. He handed his pint over and allowed me to take a sip of his drink. It tasted bitter, but at the same time some sweet tang fell on my tongue. I found it decent enough to swallow, though I'd probably never be able to enjoy drinking a whole pint of the liquid.

"Well?" Nori asked me. "What do you think?"

"Certainly nothing like the wine I had back home." I replied, returning the drink to Fili. "What is it?"

"Ale." Fili smiled at me over the rim of his pint before drinking more.

"Here, you can wash down the taste of it with this." Bofur said, handing me a piece of sausage he had been carefully cooking over the fire. I took the meat and ate it, watching as everyone contentedly drank and ate the last of my fish and chips. I did find it a little odd that Bifur was trying to roast a piece of lettuce on a stick, but then again, when one has an axe embedded in one's head, ones thoughts are bound to be a little muddled.

"The fire is dying out." I told Bofur. "One of us will have to go and find more wood."

Bofur eyed Bombur, who sat merrily on a table eating his meal. "Oi, Bombur." He tossed the dwarf a piece of sausage, which the dwarf deftly caught. The table Bombur sat on creaked and then splintered to the ground, sending the poor dwarf rolling to the floor and spilling the last few scraps of his food. The company roared with laughter and even I was chuckling as I went over to set Bombur right side up.

"Look at us all getting along now. It'll be no problem through the rest of the journey." I mused.

"Will you be accompanying us the rest of the journey?" Dori asked.

"Of course she will. Loyalty, courage and a willing heart was what Thorin asked for and Rue certainly fills those standards." Nori answered.

"He hasn't chosen to send me off ye-" I stopped midsentence. "Oh no." I breathed.

"What's wrong lassie?" Oin asked.

"Oh no, oh no." I repeated, unable to use any other words at the moment.

"What's the matter?" Bombur asked me.

"Thorin." I said. "Thorin isn't here. And neither is Balin or Gandalf. They must all think I'm a boy still." The merriment paused. I turned around sharply. "I have to go find him, and tell him I'm a girl."

I made for the door but Bifur grabbed my arm and protested wildly in Khuzdel.

"He right Rue, you've got to think about this." Dori explained. "Thorin may not take kindly to this news. He might feel as though you've been lying to him."

"I didn't mean too, I thoroughly believed you all knew. It's all a misunderstanding and if Thorin is rational he'll be able to see that." I tried to argue.

"This will have be handled with great care." Dwalin said. "He's already on the more irrational side of mind, what with seeking help from the elves."

"We had better go with Rue." Fili said, the dwarves forming a tight circle.

"Aye, all of us." Kili agreed.

"But I'm still roasting sausage." Bombur argued.

"Leave em, you've had too many as it is." Dwalin told Bombur.

"Wait, let me find my horn." Oin said.

"We'll all go together with the nymph and find Thorin and Balin and Mister Gandalf, and then we'll all nicely explain how the lad's a lass." Bofur planned. "Everyone will be patient, everyone will be rational, and we'll work out an agreement from there, no harm done, no feelings hurt, and no pride's ruined. How does that sound Rue?"

They must have all turned around, but I was hearing the quiet echoes of their voices as I hurried up flights of stairs and ran through hallways. "Where'd she go?" Ori asked.

"Hurry and find that nymph before Thorin does!" Nori cried out, and they must have scrambled in several different directions, looking for me.

I ran through the passageways, searching desperately for Thorin my mind racing with what to say.

Thorin I am terribly sorry for never brining up this topic before but…

Thorin it appears we have a misunderstanding….

Thorin I never meant to deceive you but…

I'm a lady. I'm a lady and I thought everyone knew but you had no idea.

Oh Navestal, I prayed silently. Let him be in a good mood, a good, rational, understanding and forgiving mood.

I then ran around the corner too quickly and collided with someone, the two of us falling to the floor. I knew the person had been around my height and therefore was one of the dwarves. "I'm telling Thorin, and I'm doing it on my own!" I said , firmly. I then looked into the face of Balin. "Oh Master Balin!" I said apologetically. "I didn't mean to stampede into you like that."

Balin blinked, gathering his senses. "Good evening Rue." He said as I raised him back to his feet. "What would the rush be over?" He then looked into my face. Then at my hair. Then me from ladylike head to toe. "What happened to you?" He asked, confused.

"I know, it's a bit of a surprise." I said.

"Thorin accepting help from the elves was a bit of a surprise." Balin corrected. "This is…far greater than surprising." He said.

"Do you know where Thorin is? I need to find him." I asked. "Before the others do."

"Oh, he's probably just upstairs planning our next step in the journey. On the big balcony overlooking the falls. The elves were mighty helpful with our map and…what I saying, look at you!" He gestured to me. "You need to explain yourself."

"Oh Balin, I can't! The company is trying to find me and stop me so they can do it, but that's not right, this is my own mess I've put myself in. I don't have the time." I tried to slip past him.

"He'll be up there a while yet." Balin said. "As a friend I think I deserve an explanation." When I continued to hesitate Balin added "And it might be good practice for what you want to say to him. You can't just run in and start blurting everything out."

I nodded and the elderly dwarf led me to a bench where we sat down side by side. "Now from the beginning." He instructed. "Go nice and slow."

"I'm a lady. And I really thought you knew, despite the tunic and the hat I was wearing. I didn't mean to deceive anyone. I simply never brought it up because…well normally someone being a man or a women is so noticeable and I thought in my case it was. I know I don't have an incredibly beautiful face…but I assumed when someone looked at me they would at least know I was a lady."

"Pah!" Balin said. "I've often thought to myself that those long lashes of yours were wasted on a boy. Of course, I never told you that. I thought you were a young lad and they can take things like that to heart. Kili, when he was young, was teased something terrible about not having much of a beard."

I nodded. "Well, when everyone went to the baths I ventured off, looking for the ladies bathing chamber. I found Lindir and asked for directions and he tried to lead me to your bath because he must have thought I was a boy too. But I took off my hat and he saw my long hair and then the elves were kind enough to make me a bath in a winter pantry. They took my brothers clothes I had been wearing since I met you out in the wild and left this dress for me to wear. I went to the room they set aside for us, and then I ended up making dinner for everyone because hardly anyone ate much when the elves brought us that salad. Oh! They ate all the fish and chips, but there's still sausage and ale and bread."

"Thank you." Balin nodded. "Go on, what happened then?"

"Well, I was grabbing bread from the kitchen when Bilbo walked in and he was so flustered when he saw me like this I didn't understand him. I went back and then the whole company toppled inside and, oh forgive me for saying it, but they all looked so stupid with their eyes round as dinner plates and their mouths gaping like fish out of water."

"No doubt I appeared something similar." Balin noted.

"Well, you did look a little shocked." I told him. "Well the whole thing got sorted out nicely, and we were having a merry time, but then I remembered that you and Gandalf and Thorin had no idea I was a lady yet and had to tell Thorin. I spent days earning his trust and I won't lose it now. Not again and over something this silly. The company wanted to come with me and speak for me, but it's my problem and I must fix it, by myself, so when they were plotting I slipped away and then I knocked you down in my haste."

"Sounds as if you had a rather eventful evening." Balin said.

"Are you angry with me Balin?" I asked.

"Oh, not at all." Balin said, his eyes twinkling. "Girl or boy, you're still the same person we found out at our camp."

I smiled and I was moved enough to embrace the dwarf. Then Fili and Kili burst out of the halls. "Found him…her…Rue!" They called.

"Thank Mahal we found you!" They sighed as the others rushed to me, coming up from different halls.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing?!"

"We've been looking everywhere for you!"

"For such a skinny thing you must be awful thick in the head if you're planning to…"

"Stop!" Balin stood. "The lass just explained everything to me. And I believe she is now very intent on explaining everything to Thorin. Alone." He emphasised the last word.

"But-!" The company started.

"I believe I explained, quite carefully." Balin stopped them again, and they fell silent.

He turned to me. "Best of luck. Just upstairs and straight down the hall to the end." He said.

I stood, thanked him, and ascended the staircase. The company looked as if they didn't understand any of my reasoning, but held themselves back at Balin's word. The hall was dark, with only a few candles lit, and the eerie glow of the moon overhead. I could see Thorin standing on a balcony, staring out toward the falls.

I walked as close as I dared yet, still within the shadows. I gulped. It was now or never and Thorin had to know. "T-Thorin?" I called, trying to keep my voice steady.

He glanced back at me. "Rue." He said. "I'm glad you're here. I've been meaning to speak with you."

"I came to speak with you actually. There's something…" I began.

"Please." Thorin, held up a hand to stop me. "Let me speak first. I understand you and I had a rather rough beginning…"

"Oh, don't apologize, you were right to be cautious." I assured him.

"But I may have not been right in choosing to distrust you when you have given me no reason to not place loyalty in you." Thorin said, his voice apologetic. "You put yourself at risk for my company, you fight well, and everytime someone has pushed you down, you've risen again. You keep surfacing, no matter where you are. I suppose that's why you have the same name as that meddlesome herb."

I looked at him, surprised he knew of the plant that was my namesake. "Yes. I am." I nodded. "Thorin, I have to-"

"I understand you have little left in your life. You've no family. No home. I know what it is like to live without those. " He turned again. "Therefore, I offer you this home. A place in my company."

I blinked, surprised. Happiness was overwhelming. "Thorin, I can't tell you what that means to me." I said. "But I really must speak what I came to say."

"I've interrupted you enough. Speak." Thorin said, facing me now.

"Thorin…" Words caught themselves in my throat. Bravely, I threw back my shoulders, and stepped out of the shadows, the moonlight illuminating me. "Thorin-" I started again.

Thorin face showed surprise briefly, then went hard as stone. "What is this?" He demanded, his voice growing icy again.

"I'm so sorry. I thought you knew. I thought everyone knew. But I was wrong…"

"You're a woman." He spit out.

"Yes." I nodded. "But it's all a terribly confusing misunderstanding. I can still fight and I'll be a great help on the quest, I promise, and-"

"You won't be coming." Thorin said, coldly.

I froze, my heart clenching. "Won't…won't be coming?" My temper flared. "But you just said-!" I started angrily.

"How can I trust you now when you hide this from me?!" Thorin demanded.

"You had gained trust for Rue as a young boy, how come Rue as a lady loses that trust so suddenly?!" I demanded.

"They both lied to me!" Thorin retorted, loudly.

"I did not lie to you!" I shouted back.

"But neither did you reveal the truth!" Thorin yelled bitterly. He stormed past me. "You will not be joining us when we leave this place. Stay in Rivendell, or venture out on your own again. I do not care which."

I stood, my body blazing with anger while he retreated darkly down the halls. I clenched my fists in absolute fury. How dare he promise me what I wanted most dearly and then take it away from me! The anger faded, and I felt as though a hole had been carved out of me. For a moment I felt weak and empty. The threat of tears stung my eyes but I refused to let them fall and sniffed them away.

The moonlight made my anklet shine brilliantly. I could not stand to look at it any longer and tore it from my ankle. Stupid piece, I thought. At that moment I hated everything feminine about me. Had Gideon's tunic been there I would have stripped in plain sight to change back into it. I would have condemned my hair to a life hidden beneath his hat. I would have used whatever magic existed to trade my lively green eyes for dull brown ones. In this state of mind, I hurled the lovely anklet from the balcony, and watched as it disappeared.

After this the last of my anger disappeared quickly. I realised how intensely I had fought with Thorin, how I had yelled at him as though he were any dwarf, and not a king.

What had I done?