Chapter 9
(Bella's POV)
After getting back from the store, I parked the bike at the back of the cottage and went inside to change. I didn't have a bathing suit, but I wouldn't have worn one even if I did. As natural as it was for a teenager to walk around in front of strangers in the equivalent of underwear and a bra, I wasn't comfortable wearing something like that in front of Edward on a day out with his kids, or frankly, even without the kids.
Though I resisted the idea, I had to admit he intrigued me. Not because of the things he'd done for me, as touching as that was. It had more to do with the sad way he smiled sometimes, the expression on his face when he'd told me about his wife, or the way he treated his kids. There was loneliness within him that he couldn't disguise, and I knew that in some way it matched my own.
I knew he was interested in me. I'd been around long enough to recognize when men found me attractive; the clerk at the grocery store talking too much or a stranger glancing my way, or a waiter at a restaurant checking on their table just a bit too frequently. In time, I'd learned to pretend I was oblivious to the attention of those men; in other instances, I showed obvious disdain, because I'd known what would happen if I didn't. Later. Once they got home. Once they were alone.
But that life was gone now, I reminded myself. Opening the drawers, I pulled out a pair of shorts and the sandals I'd picked up at Esme's. The night before, I had wine with a friend, and now she was going to the beach with Edward and his family. These were ordinary events in an ordinary life. The concept felt alien, like I was learning the customs of a foreign land, and it left me feeling strangely elated and wary at exactly the same time.
As soon as I finished dressing, I saw Edward's Volvo coming up the gravel road and I drew a long breath as he pulled to a stop in front of my house. Now or never, I thought to myself as I stepped out onto the porch.
"You need to put on your seat belt, Miss Bella," Lilly said from behind me.
"My dad won't drive unless you're wearing it."
Edward looked over at me, as if to say, "Are you ready for this?" I gave him my bravest smile.
"Okay," he said, "let's go."
We reached the coastal town of Santa Rosa, complete with saltbox houses and expansive views of the sea, in less than an hour. Edward pulled into a small parking lot nestled against the dunes; saw grass billowed nearby in the stiff sea breeze. I got out of the car and stared at the ocean, breathing deeply. The kids climbed out and immediately made for the path between the dunes.
"I'm going to check the water, Dad!" Noah shouted, holding up his mask and snorkel.
"Me, too!" Lilly added, trailing behind.
Edward was busy unloading the back of the Volvo. "Hold up," he called out. "Just wait, okay?"
Noah sighed, his impatience obvious as he shifted from one foot to the other. Edward began pulling out the cooler.
"Do you need some help?" I asked.
He shook his head. "I can handle this. But would you mind putting some sunscreen on the kids and keeping an eye on them for a few minutes? I know they're excited to be here."
"That's fine," I said, turning to Lilly and Noah. "Are you two ready?"
Edward spent the next few minutes ferrying the items from the car, setting up camp near the picnic table closest to the dune, where high tide wouldn't encroach. Though there were a few other families, for the most part they had this section of beach to themselves. I had slipped off my sandals and was standing at the water's edge as the kids splashed in the shallows. My arms were crossed and even from a distance, Edward noticed a rare expression of contentment on my face.
He slung a couple of towels over his shoulder as he approached. "It's hard to believe there was a storm yesterday, isn't it?"
I turned at the sound of his voice. "I forgot how much I missed the ocean."
"Been awhile?"
"Too long," I said, listening to the steady rhythm of the waves as they gently rolled ashore.
Noah ran in and out of the waves, while off to the side Lilly crouched, searching for collectible seashells.
"It must be hard sometimes, raising them on your own," I observed.
Edward hesitated, considering it. When he spoke, his voice was soft. "Most of the time, it isn't so bad. We kind of get into a rhythm, you know? In our daily lives? It's when we do things like this—where there is no rhythm—that it sometimes gets frustrating." He kicked briefly at the sand, making a small furrow at their feet. "When my wife and I talked about having a third child, she tried to warn me that a third child would mean moving from 'man-to-man' to 'zone' defense. She used to joke that she wasn't sure I was up to it. But here I am, in zone defense every day…" he trailed off, shaking his head. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"Said what?"
"It seems like every time I talk to you, I end up talking about my wife."
For the first time, I turned to him. "Why shouldn't you talk about your wife?"
He pushed a pile of sand back and forth, smoothing over the ditch he'd just made. "Because I don't want you to think that I can't talk about anything else. That all I do is live in the past."
"You loved her very much, didn't you?"
"Yes," he answered.
"And she was a major part of your life and the mother of your kids, right?"
"Yes."
"Then it's okay to talk about her," I said. "You should talk about her. She's part of who you are."
Edward flashed a grateful smile but couldn't think of anything to say. I seemed to read his mind, and when I spoke, my voice was gentle. "How did the two of you meet?"
"We met in a bar, of all places. She was out with some girlfriends celebrating someone's birthday. It was hot and crowded and the lights were low and the music was loud, and she just… stood out. I mean, all her friends were a little out of control and it was obvious that all of them were having a good time, but she was as cool as can be."
"I'll bet she was beautiful, too."
"That goes without saying," he said. "So, swallowing my nervousness, I wandered over and proceeded to use every ounce of charm I had at my disposal."
When he paused, he noticed the smile playing at the corners of my lips.
"And?" I asked.
"And it still took me three hours to get so much as a name and phone number from her."
I laughed. "And let me guess. You called the next day, right? And asked her out?"
"How would you know that?"
"You seem like the type."
"Spoken like someone who's been hit on more than a few times."
I shrugged, leaving it open to interpretation. "Then what?"
"Why do you want to hear this?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "But I do."
He studied me. "Fair enough," he finally said. "So anyway—as you already magically knew—I asked her out to lunch and we spent the rest of the afternoon talking. That weekend, I told her that the two of us would get married one day."
"You're kidding."
"I know it sounds crazy. Believe me, she thought it was crazy, too. But I just… knew. She was smart and kind and we had a lot in common and we wanted the same things in life. She laughed a lot and she made me laugh, too… honestly, of the two of us, I was the lucky one."
Rollers continued to ride the ocean breeze, pushing over my ankles. "She probably thought she was lucky, too."
"That's only because I was able to fool her."
"I doubt that."
"That's because I'm able to fool you, too."
I laughed. "I don't think so."
"You're just saying that because we're friends."
"You think we're friends?"
"Yeah," he said, holding my gaze. "Don't you?"
He could tell by my expression that the idea surprised me, but before I could answer, Lilly came splashing toward us, holding a fistful of seashells.
"Miss Bella!" she cried. "I found some really pretty ones!"
I bent lower. "Can you show me?"
Lilly held them out, dumping them into my hand before turning toward Edward. "Hey, Daddy?" she asked.
"Can we get the barbecue started? I'm really hungry."
"Sure, sweetie." He took a few steps down the beach, watching his son diving in and out of the waves. As Noah popped back up, Edward cupped his mouth. "Hey, Noah?" he shouted. "I'm going to start the coals, so why don't you come in for a while."
"Now?" Noah shouted back.
"Just for a little while."
Even from a distance, he saw his son's shoulders droop. I must have noticed it as well, because I was quick to speak up.
"I can stay down here if you want," I assured him.
"You sure?"
"Lilly is showing me her seashells," I said.
He nodded and turned back to Noah. "Miss Bella is going to watch you, okay? So don't go out too far!"
"I won't!" he said, grinning.
