AN: Thank you to all who reviewed! It is much appreciated! :-D Please if you read this, just take a few seconds to tell me what you think. So…I am taking Graduate Record Examinations this Monday…send me good vibes! Hope you enjoy! As usual all belongs to the wonderful JK Rowling.
Chapter 9: I Want You
I couldn't lie to myself even I had wanted to. Sirius still looked sexy, even if he was skinny as a twig. It was all I could do to have my fork make it to my mouth and actually accomplish the task of entering my mouth. With that thought my mind wonders to something else entering my mouth and…NO, STOP THIS LUPIN! Do NOT let your mind go there! That was out of bounds. That was more out of bounds than that prank that involved McGonagall's bra and Snape.
Who am I kidding? I want him. Not even necessarily in the sexual way…just to hold and be held by him again would make the twelve years melt away in an instant. I'd be able to breath his intoxicating scent again and feel his arms wrap around my waist…NO! Stop this! I mentally slapped myself around…yet should I? I mean…he stood there naked wearing only his crooked smile. Any idiot could see that was a sign of something romantic. But did he still actually love me?
We ate in silence. I had made Shepard's pie for dinner, Sirius's favorite dinner. He ate hungrily and his plate cleaned faster than if I had used a spell to vanish it. I ate much slower, pondering and ruminating what all this could mean. I closed my eyes momentarily and when I opened them I saw James Potter sitting before me. He was eating like a pig…as usual. One eye on his food and the other on Lily Evans.
It had been just two hours since I had been discharged from the hospital wing after my attempt to shuffle off my own immortal coil. Looking to my left I see the empty spot where Sirius should be sitting, but given the detention's he had to serve, he would be on his way any second. I feel…awkward… this would be the first time since it happened that I hadn't been in the hospital wing. We had made up and pledged out eternal love for each other. But things had still changed. We couldn't just forget him telling Snape my secret nor could we forget what I had done to myself. That would be ignoring the dragon in the room just something not easily ignored. I picked at the food without paying much attention to it.
Within a few minutes though I heard the pitter patter of someone's feet, they sounded to be in a hurry. When I looked up I could see Sirius hastily moving through the Great Hall. There was a bounce in his step and a smile on his face as he made his way closer to me. He slid into the seat beside me. His eyes roamed around my features and his smile grew bigger. He leaned close to me, throwing his arm over my shoulders and pulled me close to him. His lips met my cheek than moved over to my ear he whispered "Hello, gorgeous". Another kiss, this time on my neck and try as I might, I shuddered in pleasure. "Hello, Padfoot. It's been all of three hours since I've seen you. Not exactly an eternity. Also, you may want to cool the pda…McGonagall is giving us that look." He turned and looked to the head table and sure enough, McGonagall was sitting there staring right at us with one eye brow pushed up and her mouth had a small frown on it.
Sirius shrugged, he had a careless air about him. His eyes locked once more onto my eyes. They were like a pair of tractor bream that was pulling me into them. I could feel my heart beating madly in my chest, as if I were going through one of my transformations. Without my volition my breath was coming in shorter and faster bursts. I could feel my lips coming closer to his and I closed my eyes and went in to kiss his. But he moved his heard ever so slightly to the side and my lips brushed his cheek instead, his mouth once more by my ear. "Follow me Rem?" It wasn't a demand but an invitation.
My heart seemed to have made its way to my throat. I swallowed in an attempt to put it right but the feeling did not leave.
Sirius stood up and I did too. His hand clasped mine and together, without looking anywhere but the door, we walk out, a wave of whispers following us. We were used to that since we had come out at the beginning of the year. The girls especially had been scandalized that Sirius's taste was a bit more…meaty. I was quite staggered myself though when I found out that apparently there had been a group of young ladies who had a thing for me. I couldn't fathom what they would see in me to make me interesting to them in that way…I always figured it was rather obvious I was a flaming knob jockey.
I would not ask where we were going. I just followed as Sirius, his fingers still intertwined with mine. After a bit of time I realized where we were heading…the astronomy tower. Not really a surprise I thought. How many times had I told him I thought this was the most romantic spot in the school? Granted my feelings of affection for this place had increased since Sirius had kissed me here for the first time.
My thoughts are interrupted as Sirius wraps his arm around my waist. His lips captured mine with a hunger and passion I never could believe was possible. I can do nothing more than throw my entire being into the kiss. My hands slide up Sirius's back and into his hair. His free hand cups my cheek. All too soon we break apart, both of us gasping for air. Sirius looks at me for a few moments before his crooked grin appears on his face. I melt, I can't repel it even if would try to.
My head finds his shoulder and we stand here holding each other. "Remus John Lupin, I am a twit. I betrayed you, my Moony, you are everything to me. You may forgive me but I'll never be able to forgive myself. Even with my fuck up, you are giving me another chance. I just want to prove to you I'll never hurt you again, I swear. I'll never leave you and I'll never stop loving you Remus." All I can do is smile and realize how lucky I am. I lose track of time. We could have been here for seconds or hours. I'm not sure and frankly, I could care less. Finally, I take a step back. "You know I would love to stay up here with you forever. But you really should eating something." A new grin, this time very mischievous in nature appears on his face. "What? You mean I can't have you?" With that our lips meet again.
"Remus….Remus…Remus, why are you smiling." My head jerks up and I look around. I'm in a small kitchen sitting at a table and watching me is an older Sirius…older but just as stunning as the Sirius in my head. "Remus, are you ok? You haven't been eating, you really should, and you look a bit pale. I can always make something!" He is just inches away from me, his head cocked to the side and an expression of mixed amusement and bewilderment on his face. His cooking skills I easily remember…they were a joke. I can't restrain myself, and I am not sure I want to if I am honest with myself. "I must be out of my bloody mind," I think. "I want you." I quickly close the gap separating us and after twelve years, our lips meet again.
