Heavily inspired by the many times I was down, only for Osie and Lang to find me and pick me up to keep going all over again. And this is a direct sequel to the previous chapter in terms of chronological order, because Otoha and Kei can't let a certain pianist wander for oh so long. Everyone deserves some light in their lives.
The themes for this little story consist of three recommendations from Lang and one last pick from me: (1) Light Up the Dark by Taylor Henderson, (2) Love Story Meets Viva La Vida from the Piano Guys, (3) the piano cover of Shut Up and Dance + Best Song Ever from the Rogers Family, and (4) Stars and Flowers (Piano Version) from Yuki Yuna is a Hero. To help with all the Friendship Feels. ;D
Dedicated to Beta and Lang. Because we're the Writer's Guild, and I hope fluff helps with the long night. You two have done a lot for me. It's best to show how much, because I can't be more thankful. — Vy
They shouldn't have noticed. They weren't supposed to have noticed.
For these past few years, I tried to keep my chakra on the down-low. Kei and Otoha were both sensors, and if I wanted to not trouble them with my emotions, it meant sealing off what I could. Boarding up — bottling up as much as I could.
It felt cowardly, almost hypocritical to give white lies of, "I'm okay" in the face of the Narutoverse. The fact that I was hiding away from my reincarnation buddies in spite of my own wish to be with them forever. In spite of my outer exterior encouraging emotional honesty when it came to personal problems.
Still, it didn't change the fact that the darkness in my heart was my burden. I had to handle it. It was my weight, not theirs. Kei and Otoha had enough on their plates. They deserved more than worried tears about the future, more than my useless ideas.
They didn't need to worry about me.
Yet, somehow, I was open enough to be caught off guard again.
"Tomo?"
Kei's call of my nickname didn't sound any different from usual, and even with the electric mixer on, I could still flip the switch off to turn around and face her. The cake batter could wait. It sounded like she needed something. "Mm? What is it, Kei?"
I couldn't lie to her face like that. It was probably foolish to even try, because her hands were shoved in her jacket pockets and a wry, dry smile was on her face. "Think we can talk? Just for a bit. Otoha's already in the other room."
My heart clenched on itself.
Hisako was already giving the mental push. C'mon, Tomoko-chan. Don't freeze.
I sucked in a breath to steady myself. My chakra was still rolling around in my gut, adding to the butterflies that started popping up at Kei's question, and I had to force it down. It wasn't the time to be the deer in headlights. I wasn't that little girl. I wasn't.
This isn't the old world, this isn't the old world, this isn't the old world.
I just had to keep repeating that mantra. Outwardly, I put on a small smile in return. "Sure? But…" the words felt somewhat foreign on my tongue as the first bit of honesty was already coming out. "What for, Kei?"
In the time it had taken for me to reply, Kei had only turned around to face the hallway. A single second was all it took for her to swivel her head back to meet my stare, something dark in her eyes. "Just to talk, Tomo," she offered her hand to me. "Just to talk."
My heart clenched again. I glanced between her open hand and the floor. "…This won't trouble you?"
I didn't even know where the question came from. But by the time it was already out in the air, I couldn't stop myself.
Kei's eyes widened a small margin, almost in surprise before softening. There was a spark in the black eyes replacing the dark from before, a spark that I could at least pinpoint as, "agreement" and "oh, you." Fond exasperation, I think. It reminded me of — of Vy's Dad. The same soft care. "Nah, it's no real trouble," she still gestured with her open hand towards me. It was hard to miss the small smile on Kei's face. "Let's just go to your room, Tomo. Trust me."
For the last signal, Hisako grinned softly.
Even with my blood starting to race in my veins from all the butterflies, my hand was already resting in hers before I could consider any other options.
The walk to my room wasn't that long. But Otoha was indeed there, letting out a soft dinosaur roar of recognition as soon as Kei opened the door. I didn't know if the roar was of happiness or of some other emotion, but Kuroha-san seemed happy enough. "Glad to see you, Kei-Kei, To-To."
That nickname still had some getting used to, because the heat flooding my cheeks was nothing to laugh at. "H-Hi again, Kuroha-san."
Even without raising my head, I knew Kei was smiling. The dork. "C'mon, Tomo, less blushing, more talking." Then my hand was being tugged and I could barely hold back from flailing as she guided me over to the floor where Kuroha-san was sitting. It didn't take long for her to neatly plop down on a nearby seat cushion, and with her continued grip on my hand, I had no choice but to follow her example in doing the same. Because apparently the ninja had time to find the seat cushions in my closet and take them out for us to make a small group huddle.
"Um," I said slowly, because this was not expected in the slightest. "What's going on…?"
Otoha swiveled her head in Kei's direction before slowly flapping a hand in the air. "Me first or you, Lang-Lang?" The small nervous laugh was unmistakable.
I was missing something. Um.
Kei sighed, and it was only then that I realized she had let go of my hand. "Might as well." The tone had turned almost sad somehow, and I probably should have expected the next statement. Especially considering the cold air of my room somehow. My thoughts at the time chalked it up to the open window, but still.
It didn't stop my heart from freezing once Kei turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "Tomo, I'm going to be level with you. Please cut the crap."
"Eh?" was my rather intelligent answer. Because really, Kei had never taken that tone of voice before. Even in the few times I had seen her train with Team Minato in those sessions so long ago, she never got that short and to the point in front of me. This was new, and I didn't know what to make of it. What left me instead of any other follow-up comment was, "What do you mean?"
Kei sighed again, and it was obvious something was weighing on her mind before Otoha interrupted with a raised hand. "To-To, you've been hiding your chakra away from us for the past few weeks, and we're not in Kansas anymore. There's no Wicked Witch to drop a house on, so what made you lose sight of the Yellow Brick Road?"
Hisako held back a knowing snort.
I was already starting to feel my hands shake. "K-Kuroha…san…"
"For better terms," Kei added, tone going back to that same quiet, "You've been hiding something, Tomo. And we're worried. What's going on?"
Otoha's jaw clenched before they added a soft and troubled mumble of agreement.
The urge to cry was starting to show up again. For the goddamn umpteenth time.
Of course they would notice. Of course they would.
How could I even think of hiding from my reincarnation buddies? My bestest friends in this whole wide world?
But after losing Leo and Josh…
Hisako was already hugging me. She knew. Of course she knew.
I took in the deepest breath I could muster, letting go of my chakra by just a little bit. "…Are you sure? H-Hearing me out, I mean? I'm…I'm not the best right now, and, and," the crying urge was already starting to show in my voice, frig, "I'm kinda…yeah. Holding together. Slowly. B-Barely. Yeah." A lump was already surfacing in my throat. "I'm—I'm trying not to cry. Again."
"Tomoko," And now Kei was using my full name, what— "It's okay. You're with us. There's a privacy seal on your door and Otoha and I are the only ones here." A hand was resting over both of mine again, and it was obvious who it was. The tears were blurring my vision, but I could still make out the familiar calluses that was my first friend. "I said it before. Whatever you have to say, I'll listen. Even now." The smile in her voice was obvious as she squeezed my hands. "I know I still want to hear it."
Another hand was quickly covering Kei's, making a huddle on top of both of mine, and I tried not to jump. "Me too," Otoha added just as quietly. I could even hear the beginnings of a comforting dinosaur trill in her voice with the gesture. "I want to hear it too, Vy-Vy."
I didn't deserve these two. I didn't.
The first drops were already falling onto the pile of hands. "I-I don't deserve you two. I just—I just don't." I wanted to smile, but the tears made it hard to even muster one as it kept cracking on my cheeks, the snot already starting to clog my nose. "I-I… I hid because I'm not worth it. Because I keep doubting you two. Because I'm afraid."
Kei exhaled shakily, her voice coming out calm and controlled. "Of us? Or what?" She paused before the realization set in. "Of being alone? Of us leaving?"
Of course she would remember that talk about Ty.
The tears kept falling down on our combined hands as I could only nod jerkily.
"To-To…" Otoha's other hand was already patting my head, and it took all I had to not lurch away from the gesture. "Dorothy didn't leave you, and I'm not going to leave either. Although," they paused, glancing at Kei once from what I could see through my bangs before continuing with a confused, "what would that make Kei? The Cowardly Lion? Because I'm pretty sure Kakashi's the Scarecrow."
Kei blinked before barking down a sudden laugh. "Os, I don't think I'm lion-material."
There was confusion running through my blood this time, but there was still one thing left to address. I tried not to choke. "…You knew?"
Kei and Otoha both were now turning back to stare at me again. A single second was all it took for Otoha's voice to turn soft, their other hand patting my head all over again as a small dinosaur hum left their lips. "Yeah. Your chakra said everything, To-To. And you wear your heart on your sleeve. It was obvious. And, and we're not going to leave you."
The tears were falling faster now. Frig. "I-I think Kei's the Tin Man with her swords…" But the sniffles were hard to ignore too. My chakra was flooding me like a tsunami because my limits were hit.
Hisako was still silent, hugging me.
They knew. Despite my lies, despite my hiding, they knew. They freakin' knew. The questions were already leaving me faster than I could think on them, between the starts of sobs. "A-And you're—you're not going to leave? Even though I'm the girl who can't forget the sight of her own blood? Even though I'm the girl who nearly broke her entire past family apart because she didn't know her brother was doing something wrong? Even though—" my jaw clenched at the exact same time my heart did. "Even though I'm a useless civilian who's worth jack shit…"
Otoha was already letting out a loud and troubled pterodactyl wail as Kei reached out with her other, free hand to squeeze my shoulder.
Frig, I was already crying, and I couldn't even meet their eyes. I couldn't even stop myself from asking the last question. "Why…why do you two still care?"
"Why do you stay?" was left unsaid because I couldn't find the courage to even muster that anymore. The words were already out there, and I was going to reap whatever repercussions they had.
I wasn't expecting the headbutt. It was sudden, quick, and painful, but I was reeling back, and then I could only see resolute and pained black eyes. "Tomo." Kei's voice had turned hard, and it only vaguely registered that she was angry. What? "Tomo. You're seriously asking that? Is it so hard to understand?" She was resting her head against mine, eyes closing slowly in time with her breathing. Even with the tears, I could still make out hers and Otoha's hands still holding mine down from shuddering. "I've never seen you do a single thing bad enough to deserve how much weight you keep piling on your shoulders. You're not useless, and you're better than that."
Those black eyes were opening to stare at me again, and I took in a shaky breath. "You're my friend, Tomo. I don't care about what your past says. Or the dark. I just care about you."
My heart froze.
Hisako was smiling. There it is.
My reply was choked down to a small, "Eh?"
Kei was pulling away to give more distance, and then I could see the brown hair that was Kuroha-san. When— "To-To…" they mumbled a small, mournful noise before reaching with both hands past Kei's fingers to touch mine. "To-To, you didn't exclude me and forget me. You put up with my shit. You made me remember that I'm more than a faceless ninja." A crooked grin was on their face, and I could barely find myself breathing. "You helped me remember that I'm real. So, I'm not leaving you. Lang-Lang and I, we aren't leaving you." They squeezed what they could of my fingers through the hand-pile. "We're in this together, Vy-Vy. So, don't be scared."
The waterworks were officially on now.
I couldn't even stop the sobs leaving my lips as my nose started to feel runny. "You two…ohmifreakinggod, you two ninja…"
Kei was smiling wryly as the tears kept falling down on our hand pile. "What Os said, all the way." She was already reaching over with her not-wet hand to offer the start of what was looking like a big Group Hug. "C'mon, Tomo. You're stuck with us for life, so quit hiding."
"K-Keiiiiiiiiii…Otohaaaaaaaa…!" was the culmination of the high-pitched, choked noises that left my throat, and once Otoha was adding in a small and cute dinosaur hum, I finally lost it.
Otoha and Kei didn't even seem to mind that I literally threw myself at them.
My heart wasn't cold, the room felt warm, and my friends were hugging as hard as they could back. Even if my back was a bit sore from crouching for so long, even if my throat was becoming hoarse from all the crying, it didn't change the fact that they were here.
Kei and Otoha — Lang and Os. They were here.
We were definitely Best Friends.
I could be with them. It was okay.
No doubts at all.
The darkness could finally be laid to rest.
"You doooooooorks…! H-How can you live saying that cheesy stuff~~?!"
"This coming from the girl who can't go without a hug every day?"
"That's what makes her To-To!"
"Heyyyyyyyyy…!"
"Aw, Tomo, it's okay. I don't think we meant for you to cry."
"Th-These are happy tears, you doofus! You complete, ridiculous, insufferable, lovable, doofus!"
"One of those is not like the other, one of those just doesn't belong~!"
"Heh. That's how it should be."
"You doooooooooorks…!"
"Love you too, dork."
"We're dorks for life!"
