Total Tortimer Island

Episode VII - 20,000 Guns Under the Sea


[Screen appears. In the dock, Tortimer appears. Waking up from his sleep.]

TORTIMER

Last time, on Total Tortimer Island...

[Series of flashbacks from the previous episode]

TORTIMER

The villagers were sent into my deepest dreams to get rid of my nightmares. But the nightmares got frisky, and started multiplying all over the place. In the end, Cyrus put these weird things, but Kicks sprayed him, and pushes Mabel out of the portal, framing her for the loss of the challenge, and she was sent home for her Able Sisters.

[In the present day...]

DR. SHRUNK

Hello, sir. I am Dr. Shrunk.

TORTIMER

Dr. Shrunk? I know who you are. You are carnival barker of the wheel of fortune.

DR. SHRUNK

I will be your cohost for the show. What about Digby?

TORTIMER

Digby? Anyway, we've got more exciting action coming to you, right here on TOTAL... TORTIMER... ISLAND!

[On the title, camera zooms out twice, fade to black, and opening sequence.]


Sequence 2 - Monday - Week 3

[A bird passes by the camp. Inside of Roost Cafeteria...]

BRAD

I'm so mad, that I was out so early during the challenge. It was grinding my gears.

LOTTIE

Yeah, and thanks to Mabel. Now we lost.

REDD

I don't know guys. She seemed like she was trying to warn us about something.

LOTTIE

Oh hi, Redd, didn't even see you there.

REDD

It's cool.

[In Redd's confession camera...]

REDD

Now, that I know Mabel had faith in me. I'm positive I can make it to the merge, and manage to beat Lyle. I'm surprise they kept him in this long, but regardless, I'm pulling myself out of the shadows. Go Crazy Redd!

[In reality...]

KAPP'N

This isn't as good as dream cucumber cake.

BRAD

Be quiet, and eat it.

[Kapp'n cries.]

ISABELLE

Hey, chill out. Will you. Even like a hot tomato, but no I'm not.

BRAD

I wouldn't gone more sleep if Kapp'n have been yelling in his sleep all night.

TOM NOOK

He's a weirdo.

BRAD

Zip it, Tom! Nobody understands what are you doing to him.

[In Tom Nook's confession camera...]

TOM NOOK

Hmm... I don't know that Kapp'n wants a cucumber cake. That is fictitious. Alright, it's payback time for stop complaining around. I hope my twins are alright.

[In reality, on the other table...]

MICHELLE

That's what am I saying, you, me, Timmy, and Tommy. All of you about Lyle next, no matter what.

CELESTE

Oh no. I'm not about to work with Cyrus. He's the alpaca home designer. I want him gone next.

MICHELLE

Okay, we can vote off Cyrus after Lyle's gone.

CELESTE

Nope, no deal. You're insane of you think I'm working with that alpaca.

[In Cyrus' confession camera...]

CYRUS

So, as if Mabel wasn't already a problem. I have Celeste breathing down my neck trying to vote me off. Which she could totally do because she has the numbers. If we lose the challenge today, I'm so going home. I won't be able to convince everyone to vote off Celeste. She's too well-liked. I have to strike her at a low point. The Lord knows when that's going to come.

[In reality...]

TIMMY

Come here, Tommy. Let me feed your food. I love what people when the bad food too sexy.

TOMMY

Hey you-

[Tommy exits the cafeteria. In the campfire ceremony...]

CELESTE

Look, K. K. Slider, I know we don't see eye-to-eye all the time, but would you be willing to work with me to vote off Cyrus released tonight?

K. K. SLIDER

Anything for you, my sweet.

DIGBY

Anything for you, my sweet, too. Ah! It's sick watching him to open her like that. I'm a servant. That should be me. Me!

RESSE

Oh! (sing-a-long) Digby's got a boyfriend!

DIGBY

Sit down, and quiet, Reese.

[In Digby's confession camera...]

DIGBY

Oh! Without my job, I'm useless and Reese is driving me up the wall more and more every day. I don't know how much longer I can take being in this alliance with her.

[In reality, outside of Nook's Lucky Cats' cabin...]

TOM NOOK

So, what are we do now that we're down a man?

LOTTIE

So, what are we do now that we're down a man?!

TOM NOOK

NO! (crying)

BRAD

Well obviously, what kind of stubborn question is that?

MR. RESETTI

I think, we should just rest. Tortimer has been overworking us for days, and I don't tired.

[Suddenly, Tortimer Island begins to shake.]

TIMMY

What was that?

LOTTIE

What's going on, Tortimer?

ISABELLE

Yeah, what's going on?

TORTIMER

As I said before, the island got overrun by monsters. Brewster needs to cross the ocean to get some new interns, but the ocean is being occupied by a sea monster.

CELESTE

Why don't you just kill it?

TORTIMER

Because, you daughter of a scholar, I'm too beautiful. That's why. Today's challenge will be to take out that monster. I'm providing one of you with a super powered weapon that can shoot in almost any direction. However, you can only use it once, because I used up most of the ammo.

REESE

GUNS! YAY!

TORTIMER

The first team to kill the monster wins invincibility.

MR. RESETTI

Oh! All we've been doing for days is running around the island doing stuff for you. Why can't we just have a puzzle challenge?

REDD

Puzzles? Seriously? You can't even spell your own name.

MR. RESETTI

Beside the point.

TORTIMER

When I blow you into a million pieces, your teammates can have a good puzzle game. I like to call assemble the hideous demon.

ISABELLE

Oh, I am so glad I don't know how to assemble the gun.

TORTIMER

And GO!


Sequence 3

[In the docks, the monster shakes the island.]

TIMMY

Wow. That must be a big fish.

CELESTE

He never said that it was a fish.

TIMMY

Did anyone ask for your opinion?

[Celeste accidentally pushes Timmy to the water. However, in her confession camera...]

CELESTE

What? He was so asking for it.

[In reality...]

TIMMY

Augh!

MICHELLE

Come on out, guys, let's not wasting time.

LYLE

I think, I just stay here.

TOMMY

I stay here with you, twin brother.

MICHELLE

Lyle, what are you doing? Give me your apron behind into the water.

TOMMY

And you pass this apron fellow. That makes two of us.

LYLE

I can't. I'm afraid of water.

CELESTE

What? Since when?

LYLE

I don't want to talk about it.

MICHELLE

Giddy! You are in the boat for gone anyways.

LYLE

Here. Take it.

[Tortimer appears.]

TORTIMER

Not so fast. Wherever I gave the gun to must also be the shooter.

MICHELLE

You never said that.

TORTIMER

I know. Bye.

[Dr. Shrunk appears to Tortimer.]

DR. SHRUNK

Tortimer, I got your latte.

[Dr. Shrunk steps on the water puddle, and slips down, while Tortimer's latte spills on his head, screaming.]

DR. SHRUNK

It burns, but it feels so good. Because, it's Tortimer's coffee from Brewster.

TORTIMER

Oh, brother.

[Meanwhile, with Nooks' Lucky Cats...]

LOTTIE

Okay. Come on, guys. I am the only one who was a badge for swimming.

BRAD

No one cares about your badges or your book or anything else you have to say.

DIGBY

Well, Brad, she is the only one with any swimming experience. If I go into water, I'll float because of my coat.

BRAD

Just take it off.

DIGBY

No.

[In Digby's confession camera...]

DIGBY

I never take off my coat.

[In reality...]

LOTTIE

So, it's settled. I'll go in.

ISABELLE

But you can't. Reese was giving a gun, and you can't shoot it. You don't even have it assembled.

MR. RESETTI

You guys can rustle and work all you want. I'm going to take a dump in the forest. You think? I'm going to sleep.

BRAD

No. You're going to stay here and help, or so help me.

MR. RESETTI

No. I like my idea better.

BRAD

Why you!

[Mr. Resetti tries to sleep, but Brad slaps him.]

MR. RESETTI

Ouch! You slapped me. Oh, dear.

[Tortimer appears.]

TORTIMER

Hey, no one beats up my villagers except me.

ISABELLE

Is someone call for a medic?

TORTIMER

So, I guess Mr. Resetti must mandatorily sit out of this challenge. As a result, I'm giving him an immunity if you guys lose.

LOTTIE

Wow. Thanks, Brad.

[With the Reset Buccaneers...]

CYRUS

Don't worry, I got-

MICHELLE

Quiet, Cyrus.

[In Michelle's confession camera...]

MICHELLE

I saw what Cyrus made me the tour of Selena. Ah yes, a shape-shift and a frame ad. You know, you better him than me. But now, I don't know how the danger is Cyrus. It's time to take him down. Surely, he can hold down to the gun I thought that just means that Nook's Lucky Cats will win. I have to support us to vote off Cyrus despite how much I hate Lyle. Cyrus is in the top of my hit list. No questions asked.

[In reality...]

ISABELLE

PSST! Celeste?

CELESTE

Yeah? What's up, Isabelle?

ISABELLE

I just wanted to know to see how you are doing at all.

CELESTE

Aside from a dinosaur afraid of the water I'm holding up. Haven't had a good meal since Tortimer's first laughs. He always stuck me some quality food.

ISABELLE

Yeah. How is it now that Blathers is gone?

CELESTE

Much more quiet. Homeless eerie, but I have a lot more independence now. I actually feel like a grown woman.

ISABELLE

Well, that's good. Just be safe. I don't trust Michelle or K. K. Slider for that manner. If you need anything.

CELESTE

I know. I'll ask if you need something.

[Isabelle leaves for Nook's Lucky Cats.]

CYRUS

What was that?

CELESTE

Oh, you startled me, Cyrus.

CYRUS

What was that?!

CELESTE

What was...

CYRUS

I saw you talking to Isabelle over there.

CELESTE

It's Isabelle...

CYRUS

Talking to the enemy. Are we?

CELESTE

Keep it quiet. If we lose, you are going home tonight, Cyrus. Enjoy your last few hours here.

CYRUS

Oh, I'll enjoy them alright.

[Back with Nook's Lucky Cats...]

DIGBY

I'll just try to use one of my tricks to win the challenge.

REESE

You know about magic?

DIGBY

I'm a magician.

REESE

Oh my gosh. I had no idea.

DIGBY

Okay, then. Let's build the submarine.

[Nook's Lucky Cats build a submarine very quickly. But back with the Reset Buccaneers...]

CYRUS

Hey, that's not fair. Tortimer, do something.

[Tortimer is having tea time with Brewster, and Dr. Shrunk.]

CYRUS

Darn it!

[In the submarine...]

DIGBY

Everybody, get in!

ISABELLE

I'll stay out here, brother, and keep watch.

DIGBY

Okay, we'll be back up with the immunity.

[The submarine begins to dive, and search for the sea monster. Back with the Reset Buccaneers...]

CELESTE

Guys, let's go. They're already underwater. Come on!

KICKS

Don't worry, I got this.

[Kicks dives underwater.]

CELESTE

No! Guys, I want Kicks down there alone. He doesn't even have a gun.

[In the underwater, Kicks begins to swim with his scuba gear. Back in the submarine, Lottie reads her book. She sees him.]

LOTTIE

Kicks. I'm so glad to see you.

KICKS

Yeah, I wish I could say the same. Just give me the bomb gun.

LOTTIE

But, I can't. Tortimer will-

KICKS

Well, it's right here. Just give it to me!

[Lottie throws a gun, and give it to Kicks.]

KICKS

Thanks, mate.

[Swims away.]

KICKS

Watch me!

[Kicks begins to spray.]

TOM NOOK

Great Scott! What is that?!

BRAD

Quick, Reese, shoot it!

REESE

I can use the zap laser, because Lottie kicked it.

BRAD

Lottie?!

LOTTIE

Oops. (laughs) I slipped.

[Kicks' fumes spread the submarine, and it explodes. A giant squid appears.]

KICKS

G'BYE, FOE!

[Kicks shoots a bomb gun, and the squid explodes into smithereens. The shattered submarine crash lands back in the docks with Nook's Lucky Cats. Back with the Reset Buccaneers...]

KICKS

(gasping air) Don't worry, mates, we won.

TORTIMER

Yep, they did. The Reset Buccaneers are victorious again.

[The Reset Buccaneers cheer.]

BRAD

You are so dead, Reese.


Sequence 4

[That night, in the campfire ceremony...]

TORTIMER

Well, that was clearly not one of your best performances, guys.

REESE

Hey, I didn't have my zap-zap gun.

KAPP'N

I want cucumber. Sweet cucumber. Spicy cucumber is horrible, buckle.

BRAD

Going down!

TORTIMER

Okay, so the first candy bar goes to Redd. Mr. Resetti, because you put him in the cast, Brad. Okay now, Kapp'n, Isabelle, Tom Nook, wait. I got to remember to take them off this roster. Digby, also here's your coat.

DIGBY

Oh sweet my coat.

TORTIMER

Villagers, I only have two candy bars, but only three of you. Next candy bar goes to Brad.

BRAD

That's what I thought.

TORTIMER

And the final candy bar goes to...

[In Digby's confession camera...]

DIGBY

I couldn't let them vote Reese. She's supposed to be in an alliance with Mr. Resetti, me, and Redd. Despite the fact that's she's a heck of annoying. Plus, it wasn't even her fault that we lost the challenge. Even a half brain could figure that out.

[In reality...]

TORTIMER

Reese.

REESE

Whoop-who! Candy snack time. (take a candy bar to eat)

[In the dock of shame...]

TORTIMER

Sorry, Lottie, but your ride ends here. Good riddance!

LOTTIE

Well before I go, can I make one last request.

TORTIMER

Sure.

LOTTIE

Tell Michelle that she's a fairy.

[The cannon blasts Lottie off from the island.]

TORTIMER

I lied. I don't believe in fairies. No one gets the last word except me.

DR. SHRUNK

Me, too.

TORTIMER

Ah. What will Michelle try to plot next? And, what tricks does Cyrus still have up his sleeve? How many more villagers do Brad want to me. And will I scratch off this Digby person? Find out next time on TOTAL... TORTIMER... ISLAND!

[The camera zooms out twice, fade to black, and credits roll.]

TO BE CONTINUED...