Part VIV- do you regret me like all the others?
"Why do you exist?" Lizzie asked Priscilla.
It is a question she had not asked before, but now was as good as any. She wasn't sure how much longer Priscilla would be around her. She and Priscilla had not spoke in a long time, Priscilla was always avoiding her now. After their fight, Priscilla kept distance to avoid further confrontation, because she felt like an idiot and regretted it. She never once apologized for this, and time passed on. Lizzie would only be more angry with her, so she said nothing, and did nothing. She only made an escape. She feared that it was too late to say something, and if she did, she'd be told off for it being too late. The blood stained veil of silence had only had things between them worse. She was invisible like the air like them and only now, before the last kill did she bother showing up.
"I am a fury, I am born of fire, spite and hatred."
"Who do you hate?"
"You," Priscilla said. Lizzie gasped and looked at her as if she had been the one to receive a slap in the face by the person you'd least expect to slap someone in the face. If this was an apology, which it was never meant to be, it was the worst one ever told.
"You sit here and you mope over how Ciel will never love you. You agonize over it constantly. Every part of you is all about pleasing him and getting his attention. If I wasn't here, you'd be out all day shopping to make sure you got just the right corset so he'd notice your breasts more. You waste your life in him. If you're god at something, you stifle it because you don't want to be good at anything other than getting his attention."
"You lie to yourself constantly. You don't think about much, do you? It's all about attention for you. It's all about lying every second of every day. You tell so many lies to so many people that the only way someone could ever get to know you is by force. There is no Lizzie. You become whatever people mold you into because you're too stupid to see you're destroying yourself. You've spent so much time destroying yourself that even you don't know who you are. You have no sense of self, you're worse than a familiar. You're just flesh to whore out for attention, and when you don't get what you want, you crumble and become the victim of your on hubris."
"And guess what? He doesn't even love you! I know for a fact that he's in love with that butler because I saw them kissing and he practically raped that ungrateful little fairy you call your fiance! Ciel fucked another man behind your back and you tell yourself the same lies over and over again because you can't face the reality you live in."
She had fallen into the same trap with Gabriel. She had given up everything that she wanted because she was convinced he was the best man out there, that he was the only one for her. She gave up her soul because she wanted this perfect man to love her, she bent over backwards for him on many occasions, and gave herself to him as an act of devotion. He destroyed her for fun and then said that her death wasn't tasty enough for him to even end. She wasn't even left to die by him, he didn't even care that much. She gave up everything for him and lost her humanity. All for a man who would never love her. She was beautiful, and now she was a monster. She could have had it all, she could have been great, but she was nothing but a fury now.
"I did the same thing, and that is why I am no longer human," Priscilla admitted.
Lizzie is great and beautiful, she is talented and strong and she shine brighter than any star in the sky. Yet, her insides are rotting and black because of a man who will never love her. The reality of this hurts Priscilla so much because she loves Elizabeth. Elizabeth is in love with Ciel the way that Priscilla is in love with Gabriel. They are nothing but broken pieces destroyed by those disgusting men, thrown aside like trash even though they are made of gold. She wants to stop Lizzie from having the future that she has. Priscilla will see to it that she will not tarnish at the careless negligence of an idiotic manchild. She will not let her angel fall to the ground in a heap of broken wings and shame. She will not let her be weak. She will save her from the trap, even if Lizzie hates her for it.
Priscilla grabs Lizzie by the shoulders and kisses her, she doesn't care if Lizzie hates her right now. She'll Lizzie her that she'll never need to cry about a man that doesn't love her because she has love that isn't defined by a contract. Priscilla doesn't need Gabriel, he's a fag anyways. She has Lizzie, who is so pretty, and genuine, and helped her out just from he kindness of her own heart. There is nothing in his for Lizzie, and there is no benefit for Priscilla to love her. She loves her genuinely because she has the sword skills beyond a master, she loves her because she's smart and resourceful when she lets herself be. She loves Lizzie for the sake of loving her. For once, she does not have the ulterior motive of getting further in life, or wanting to own her. She just wants to be with her, and she is closer to that than she ever has been before.
"Priscilla I-"
"Do you want to end up like me?" Priscilla asked. Her skin is black and burnt, Lizzie can see the scars of her pain all over her. This is the fury. She has been torn apart and sewn back together a million times. She doesn't have to be like this, she can be better, and she does not have to do his by herself.
"I want to be me," Elizabeth says as she blinks back tears and holds Priscilla tightly. She will not be destroyed. She will come through this alive, she will not be imprisoned to her life as a bride to be. She doesn't have to be alone, she doesn't have to be trash if she doesn't want to be. Her life isn't defined by what Ciel wants of her; she's done giving a damn about what he wants.
"Then get your fucking knives out," Priscilla says as hey hold each other, "It's time for us to finish this together."
