Christian's Pov

"When will you remember us?"

Teddy questioned me, imploring me with those big blue eyes and I feel so helpless, trying to figure what to say without hurting him. He is tensed and that's pretty much ocular, but he is trying hard to hide his emotions and keep his expressions in check. He must have learned this from me. I just stare at him unable to articulate my answer.

"I know you need time. Mom said that. I am sorry I asked." He said being forlorn making me feel really bad. I shrug at him again out of words.

"Do you remember our trip to aspen in last spring?"

I mentally curse myself. Why this has to happen? Why I don't have answer to any of his question. I shake my head pouting along, which makes Teddy simper, oh and what a beautiful sound it is and like that I am out of trouble. We talked about his friend and hobbies. He also told me about the weekends he used to spend with Elliot. Trust I am feeling jealous to know how close my son is to him and at the same time it makes me feel happy and nostalgic. I remember being with Elliot in my early days when he was so afraid of playing with me. He was so protective of me, helped me out with all my troubles until I went out of hands. Though he maintains his distance with me but I know he cares more than he let onto. And knowing that my son spends time with him, loves him the way I should when I was younger makes me feel contented.

"Can I hug you?"

Whaaaat ? All the color drains from my face. Teddy must have sensed it because his eyes go wide and he scrambles way from me. Fear evident in his eyes. Oh no, this is not going as I wanted it to. After so much of talk with him I felt that we will move further from here but it's like for each step ahead, we are going five backward.

But touching is really something else for me. How can I let someone, when that someone in my only son, to touch me without hurting him physically? How would I control my reflexive action to his touch? In those pics I was holding him close to me. So can I do it now? I am not sure, but the look on his face is tearing me apart. I have to do this. I can't let this thing to destroy what we just shared. Oh god no! Why, why this is happening to me. Fuck!

I stare directly into his eyes and nod my accord. The glee in his eyes didn't go unnoticed by me, but I am too busy to endow myself to what is coming next. He rises on his eyes and fractionally shifts to my side and without giving me any chance to think he lunges at me. I gasp out loud. Fuck! His hands slide through my chest, under my shoulders to my back and he rests his head on my neck, hugging me closely. Instinctively my hands reach out as I hug him closer to me and inhale his sweet scent. I swear nothing else will smell this good. It's then I realize that I am actually hugging him back without any restrain and there's on pain or harsh sting. I can't fathom why, hell I don't want to. I want to enjoy this moment as long as I can. It is actually a bliss and as I cradles him in my arms I knew I would do anything to keep him safe and at my side. Oh how could I even doubt at my love for him. Teddy hums his happiness and my spirits rises a little more. I glance at Anastasia who is still sleeping, oblivious to what's happening around her. I can't thank her enough for gifting me this precious little life to me and my earlier censorious attitude towards her evaporate away; all my anger directed towards her for trapping with her pregnancy fades. Though I still wanna know if that's true or not. I rock my son back and forth as he sits astride me on my lap, still hugging me tightly. I don't know how much time has passed but I don't want to let him go. I have never felt this way before but I can tell this is the greatest feeling a man can feel as a father.

"Teddy". I say as I ruffle his copper brown curls, but he doesn't responds back and I realized that he has slept. And trust me this has made me feel proud, more than proud that my arms are the most comfortable place for my son to sleep. As I enjoy the moment, I think about the times when never in hundred years I imagined myself as a father. Life for me really has changed.

A sharp knock at the door startles Teddy, who is still sleeping in my arms. A nurse enters and I scowl at her letting her know that she is intruding as I rubs his back and kisses his head to lull him back to his sleep. A loud gasp makes me jerk my head up and I meet the most alluring blue eyes, Anastasia. Joy on her face is visible as she wipes away the tears flowing down her cheeks. Happy tears maybe.

"I am sorry, I fell asleep". She said as if regretting.

"It's fine". Seriously I wouldn't have wanted any disturbance while I was talking to my son.

The nurse gave me some medicine that I have to take before my dinner. Its then I realized the time… 8 pm. But with Teddy sleeping on my shoulder I can't take medicines on my own. Anastasia comes forward taking the meds from nurse and directs them to my mouth. Never leaving her eyes I open my mouth and she placed the tablets in my mouth. My eyes follow hers, as she bends down to the side table to pick up the glass of water. Then, she carefully brings the glass to my lips so I can drink it. I swig twice. Some of the water flows down the sides of my lips to my chin. Anastasia wipes it away with her hand; her touch is firm and affectionate at the same time. I feel some pull, some electricity between each other and I gulp hard at the attraction I am feeling for her. Anastasia's lips twitches into a smirk as she sense my uneasiness and I glare at her which makes her giggle. The sound tugs my heart and once again I find myself lost in her eyes.

"I think I should take him home". No!

"I like him here". I say sulkily making her smile.

"It's late, Christian. He needs to eat. He has maths exam tomorrow in school". Oh yeah he told me about that.

She ruffles his hair, teddy still in my arms. She reaches out for him but I don't want him to go away from me. But she's right, he hasn't eaten since he came here. I reluctantly gave in. Anastasia bends down to kiss his head and softly whispers his name in his ear.

"Teddy bear".

"Mom, I am not teddy bear, please dad ask her not to call me that". I chuckle at his request And Teddy snuggles into me once more.

"It's time to go home, Ted. Someone might be missing you there". I questionably raise my brow at her and she flushes and quickly add. " His friends I mean. He plays with them daily".

Oh!

"Yeah". He says while yawning and eases out of my lap.

I immediately feel the emptiness in my heart.

"Am I too heavy?". He asks sleepily. I shake my head staring at his beautiful face wondering what it was like when I held him in my arms for the first time. His first word, his first walk, first day to school. So many of his firsts, was I there to see them. Why can't I remember anything? I must ask about all these things from Anastasia.

"Time to go Ted". Anastasia says offering him her hand. I immediately feel sad.

"I'll come tomorrow". He says . "Bye dad, good night".

Anastasia stares at me for a bit longer and they are out of the door , closing it behind them.

So I guess, it's okay now. You all are right lifting a 12 year old might be a challenge for Ana. Hope y'all like it.

Do review guys.