Chapter nine

Harry had finally snuck out thanks to Sirius telling him about a secret tunnel that only family knew about. He used his cloak and finally got to buy his personal pensieve. He had been removing the memories of his dreams and any time Sirius helped him with ideas. Harry also removed the memory of what happened in the hall of prophecy and his emancipation.

It was a few weeks later that Harry sat beside Sirius at the kitchen table ready for breakfast when Molly Weasley spoke.

'Were heading into Diagon alley today so all of you can get your school supplies. Albus is sending Tonks and Alastor to stay beside you Harry.'

'I'm not going Mrs Weasley, I'll be heading back to the muggles so I can work on which school I'm going to attend,' Harry turned to Sirius, 'I'm going to take the night but later tonight, but we'll still work on letters and times to see each other.'

'No worries pup, being a muggle school I'm sure Snuffles will enjoy visiting.'

'Now Harry, this has gone on far enough,' Molly said in her stern motherly way.

'This is real Mrs Weasley, if I am the one the prophecy means then I want something and I'm not changing my mind until I get it. But really, Hogwarts is just too dangerous, I've almost died there more times than I can count so I've been thinking of leaving for a while, not just my magical education but the magical world. I want nothing to do with Voldemort and I won't if he returns. By law I can give up my magical education and that's what I'm doing. I'll miss Ron, Ginny, the twins and some of my other good friends, but we'll write and keep in contact that way.'

'But I thought you hated the muggles Harry,' Arthur said.

'I do, but since I let them believe my godfather who cares about me is a murdering psychotic killer they are too scared to do anything so they leave me alone now. Sirius, you probably wouldn't know any good muggle schools would you?'

'Sorry, Lily told us a lot about the muggle world but nothing about schools.'

'I know some good ones Harry.'

Harry turned to glare at Hermione who flinched, 'I do not want your advice, in fact I don't want you to talk to me, ever,' he growled before turning back to his godfather, now though they started talking about his parents again.

Mr and Mrs Weasley tried all morning to get Harry to change his mind. But when Tonks and Mad-eye turned up ready to take everyone shopping, Harry stayed in his room, but made it look like he was packing his trunk.

'It's time to go Potter.'

'Didn't anyone hear me, I'm not going, I'm not returning to Hogwarts, I'm heading back to the muggles, I'll take the night bus later.'

'Now Potter, be reasonable.'

Harry straightened then turned to face the old auror, 'You know what, fuck off, you're all starting to piss me off,' Harry slammed the door then lent against it, 'Hope you don't intend to blast the door, you could hurt me, I don't think Sirius would be too pleased,' Harry said in amusement then laughed when he heard the thump of Moody's fake leg as he walked away.

Twenty minutes later Sirius stepped into the room, 'Moody went to Hogwarts and everyone else left.'

'Do you think they finally got the message?'

'Since everyone goes back to Hogwarts tomorrow, and you are not buying your supplies, yep, I think they realise you're serious. Okay, question pup, what if they allow you to go to the muggles?'

'Then I go, even if they weren't scared of you I would use magic if I had to keep them in line, I don't really care about being expelled since I would have left Hogwarts anyway,' Harry put his hands over his ears, then gestured around the room, Sirius understood and cast a lot of charms to protect from anyone overhearing or spying, just in cast.

'I spoke with Dobby, he's getting it fixed up for you and me, me at the moment, we just have to wait and see before you join me.'

'It's good that you don't say much, even I have no idea if someone could still be spying on us.'

'They would have some way, but hopefully you blocked that. I don't fancy another trip on the night bus though.'

'It's the easiest way, but no one is here, let's get downstairs.'

'To wait and see if they turn up.'

'Yep, but I'm wondering how long he will leave it, then for you to buy all your stuff, if he doesn't change his mind then you won't have your school books.'

'I think he will wait as long as possible, which will mean I will be rushed, that is not going to happen.'

Sirius and Harry unsealed the room and headed downstairs, they thought they heard a sound behind them but ignored it as if they didn't.

Harry and Sirius kept talking until the Weasley's and Hermione returned, all loaded down with their school supplies. Harry saw Sirius check his watch, his hand was on his leg under the table so no one saw what he did. They looked at each other and nodded, the shops like Flourish and Blotts would close in one hour. Within minutes of the others returning Mad-eye stepped into the kitchen.

'He has agreed to your terms so I have to escort you into Diagon alley before they close.'

Harry looked at his watch, 'Not enough time today, I'll go tomorrow, but only after he's made the vow or oath. Do you want to get dinner started Sirius?'

'Yep, we might as well, are you staying Mad-eye?'

'No, I will need to speak with Albus since Potter is being unreasonable.'

'No I'm not, you all want to sit on your arse and let me take care of Voldemort then I want to be able to enjoy my life until then. For all I know he will kill me, so you can't expect me to have a miserable life before I die, do you? But wait, you probably enjoy being miserable you just can't understand that others want to have fun. If I hear one more of those types of comments then the deal is off, especially since I won't be making any type of oath or vow.'

'I believe you've heard my godson mad-eye and really, you can't blame him do you. He lives with people that hate him, now he can live with me, someone that loves him,' Sirius heard Harry gasped then saw his eyes widen, 'What?'

'You love me?'

'Of course I do, Harry, what is it?'

'No one ever loved me before, I actually thought I wasn't the type of person you could love, that I'm not good enough to love,' Harry turned and ran from the room, pushing his way through the Weasley's who had been entering the kitchen.

'You see Mad-eye, can you understand now why Harry wanted these conditions. He feels like he is not good enough to love, that he can't be loved.'

'Harry said he felt like he was born just to die, he was born just to fight Voldemort. I never knew he felt he couldn't be loved,' Ron said sadly.

'I blame Albus for this,' Sirius growled, then hurried from the kitchen and up the stairs to his room. He found Harry sitting on the floor, his knees up and he was crying, 'Harry,' Sirius sat beside his godson then wrapped his arms around him, 'I have loved you since the day you were born, no, before you were born. When I felt you kick the first time, I knew then I loved you. But so many loved you Harry, your parents, Alice and Frank, Amelia, I'm sure some of your friends do but being your age no one will say that to a friend. You are worth loving.'

Down in the kitchen everyone was talking about what Harry said, Molly kept sniffing as she went about preparing dinner. The twins were whispering with Ginny, Bill and Charlie were both talking quietly. Ron was sitting beside Hermione listening to her go on about Harry being wrong and he needs to apologise and he needs to listen to Professor Dumbledore.

'That's it, I was willing to be friends with you even when Harry wasn't, but you just can't see that Harry's right and you're wrong, and Dumbledore's wrong, you've been wrong about him ever since you met. And if I find out that you're spying on him for Dumbledore I will curse you so your teeth end up like a beaver and they won't be able to be fixed,' Ron glared then moved around the table to sit between his brothers, the twins were nodded but they both had very evil grins which was aimed at Hermione who finally looked unsettled and kept running her fingers over her mouth, that made Ginny laugh.

Sirius and Harry heard a very quiet knock on the door and Arthur's voice said that dinner was ready.

'Come on, you need to wash your face. Just remember, I love you and I know others do and more importantly, you deserve to be loved.'

'Thanks Sirius, I love you too,' Harry hurried from the room, straight to the bathroom.

When Harry stepped into the hall Sirius was waiting for him, he smiled at his godfather then they walked downstairs with Sirius's arm slung over Harry's shoulder. The only seats remaining was beside Hermione, Sirius sat beside her so Harry could sit on his other side, away from the girl, that made the twins and Ginny chuckle, Ron nodded to Harry who was still sitting between his brothers. He wanted to relay to Harry that he had made up his mind, Ron wanted to stay friends with Harry, not Hermione.