I'm inspired again! Hallelujah! Thanks for the reads lovelies, if anyone has any feedback or responses, drop a line in the review box.

Jane knew something had changed, and even genial Thor was suspicious of Darcy's overnight mood shift from dour, to excited. As a couple they attempted to gang up on Darcy, first using their impossibly adorable daughter as a bribe.
"Oh Darcy, Thor tells me that Lucy was trying to say your name yesterday!"
Thor nodded and helpfully supplied, "It was a bit like, "Dar-da! Dar!" Darcy couldn't help bursting out in laughter at Thor's tragically bad impression of his child, and her wheelchair actually rolled a little from the force of her guffaws.

"Darcy, seriously. Just the day before you were homicidal; what's going on?" Jane's concern was palpable, and Darcy really did want to explain what was going on with her and Loki, but somehow she felt that her motives would be misunderstood. Jane would tell Thor, who'd tell Odin, and then she couldn't carry out her… experiment. Jane was too smart, and knew Darcy too well to let her carry on with such a self-destructive plot- if she found out. She figured that Jane might catch on if she continued with her euphoria though, so she toned it down a notch by acting depressed at dinner.

Thor had a very different suspicion from his wife, and it was probably closer to the theory Jane had formulated.

"Lady Darcy, I believe I now know the cause of your varying emotional state."

Amused, Darcy raised an eyebrow and nodded, saying "Continue?"

"I believe you have discovered a secret admirer, or a suitor. Perhaps even a new lover?"

Darcy's expression must have been ridiculous because Thor's reaction was worse- he stepped back as though apologizing and shook his head frantically, replying "I do not wish to offend you my dear sister, I merely wished to know the cause of your happiness so I may aid and abet it!"

The sweetness in the notion made Darcy roll forward and hug Thor's lower legs, and say "I know what you meant, and maybe you're a little bit right buddy. Don't tell Jane though, she'll be apoplectic."

Watching Thor leave (an activity she still enjoyed despite his being married to Jane- hey, his ass was GODLY) Darcy imagined if he was actually right. Imagine if she had a midnight lover, someone to extol her beauty and make her feel beautiful. Scoffing, she abandoned the thought and went off to find Lucy Jane to see if she really was about to say "Darcy".

That night, Darcy was in bed early. She wasn't sure if she ought to return to the secret library for another rendezvous with Loki, especially since he hadn't done his freaky telepathic thing at all since his eerie "thank you". Slightly frustrated, Darcy turned to her trusty friend, the iPhone, for some distraction. She wasn't a fan of playing stupid games but at that moment she was so engrossed by the latest edition of Angry Birds that she didn't sense the presence about her.

In fact, Darcy was unaware of anything amiss until she became angry at a certain level and abandoned her endeavor. It was then that she felt a chill in the air about her and a certain… off feeling, like she was being watched by something inhuman. Of course, she knew who it was, and she confidently called out, "Loki? Is it you?"

He stepped seemingly out of nowhere, and for the second time in her life, Darcy was in bed next to the God of Mischief.

She was aware of her stupid sleeping attire- woolen pajama set embroidered with pink cupcakes- so she tugged the covers up to her waist and leaned herself against the pillows.

He stood highly erect, like a soldier on duty. Darcy felt obligated to let him know, "So uh… have a seat. Something the matter?"

Her nonchalant tone irritated him, rousing him from the strange meditative state he'd seemed to be in at first.

"I am fine as I am thank you. As for your vague inquiry, there is something "the matter". I have reflected on our discourse from last night and I have some questions regarding this symbol you believe I hold you as." His tone was a bit curt, but Darcy was pleased that he was curious- it meant he truly was thinking about guilt, its nature, and potentially remorse!

Excellent progress, she thought before she remembered his question.

"What's on your mind?"

He looked uncomfortable at first, clearly weighing out his words before he spoke them. Loki did then take a seat at the foot of her bed, and Darcy attempted to ignore the fact that she couldn't sense the slight pressure his body made on her unfeeling legs and feet.

"Darcy Lewis, you refer to yourself as "broken". While I understand the basics of Midgardian paralysis, I do not understand why you consider yourself as irreparably damaged."

That was unexpected, and incredibly callous. Maybe her progress wasn't so excellent…

"Well, I say broken because I don't function correctly anymore. Also, I am irreparably damaged. I cannot be healed through surgery, as my spinal cord was broken when I made contact with the ground. Technology hasn't progressed to the point where I can ever have the use of my legs again. Does that clear up your confusion?"

He didn't look very reassured, and seemed reluctant to ask the next question;

"Has this… paralysis caused you any social discomfort?"

Oh… he wishes to understand the impacts of his actions. That's progress!

"It has. People don't look down on handicapped individuals as a general rule anymore on Earth, but there are definite prejudices and discriminatory issues. I get judged for my wheelchair, and I know there are people who just don't like the idea of "cripples" People think we're burdens, sucking up tax dollars so we can have ramps and special parking. Most of all, I've noticed that there people who are so uncomfortable with the reality of my situation, that they treat me like a child." She used bunny ears when she said cripples, to emphasize the oddity of the term.

Loki's expression became unfathomable at that point, but he did ask one last question.

"How has your paralysis affected you psychologically?"

That is a baaaaaaaaaaaad question, Darcy. How do you say years of chronic depression without making the man feel horrible?

"Um… well, at first I was angry. That's a natural response, to be angry. I then accepted it, kind of learned to adapt to it. I never really had much of a life to lose to begin with, what with me being so young at the time. My friends made it better; I did have a lot of darkness though… Actually, Loki, I won't sugarcoat it. I was and am still highly depressed about my useless legs, and there are times when I wish I could kill myself!"

Loki seemed startled at her violent outburst, but remained silent.

By then, Darcy felt too upset to just stop talking. She continued, "By the way, buddy, your popping in and out of my life like a poltergeist is getting real old, fast! I'm not able to turn off my emotions like a faucet- if I see you, I get angry! I get scared, I feel guilty, and then you go away for months and I'm left feeling a fool for thinking someone like you needed help from someone like me!"

The tears were threatening to fall again, but Darcy ignored them, focusing solely on her anger for the very first time since her fall from grace in New York.

Loki, on the other hand, seemed calm, albeit slightly tinged green from discomfort at being mentioned as a cause of her misery. That little face he was making- rolling his eyes to the ceiling as if to say, "Oh god, emotional female", plus pursed lips and slicked hair like Jay motherfuckin' Gatsby- it made Darcy angry… really, really angry. And she decided it was time to whip it out on him- the big one.

"Actually, Loki- I know why you're here. You're grasping around, looking for the root of your guilt, whether you admit it or not. You think I make you feel guilty, am I right?"

His belated nod was all Darcy needed.

She yanked off the bed covers so quickly that Loki couldn't make it off the bed in time.

"Look! LOOK!" Darcy pointed at skinny, wasted legs, lying limply against the silken sheets.

"Lady Darcy, I am unsure as to what you wish for me to see."
That is it.

"YOU DID THIS. LOKI, YOU DROPPED ME OFF A BUILDING, ON PURPOSE, AND I BROKE MY SPINE AND LOST THE USE OF MY LEGS AND NOTHING HAS BEEN OKAY SINCE. I HAVE BEEN SO MAD THESE PAST YEARS- I just…. I have no future Loki! I'm probably not gonna find love, my legs will probably never work again, SHIELD will forever treat me like an embarrassing cousin, Jane will be a goddess and live forever while I sit on Earth waiting for death to take me away from it all!"
At this point she was crying, and she let her hair fall about her face to hide some of the tears.

Loki POV:

Somehow, he had made this happen. Without his other half, Loki could not ascertain exactly what it was he had done to make her cry, but he did not like it. Much of what she had said to him last night had infuriated him- despite the logic of it. Although he knew he had always been morally dubious at best, Loki was aware of a complete lack of emotional response to his misdeeds, and that was indicative of his altered mental state.

Even as a boy, he remembered feeling bad for breaking his mother's vase, or cutting off Sif's hair. What had happened to him as a man that prevented him from accessing his proper emotional responses?

Was he truly a sociopath now?

A loud sob interrupted his thoughts, as Darcy attempted to turn herself to her side while maneuvering her legs to follow. A wave of… something overcame him as he stood to help her lift the comforter to cover her, hide her obvious embarrassment at the useless nature of her legs.

Absentmindedly, he reminded himself that it was really his fault she was even embarrassed in the first place, and that was when a correct synapse finally fired-

He was the cause of Darcy Lewis' paralyzed legs.

He was the reason why Asgard had lost its alliance and esteem with Jotunnheim.

He had killed thousands on Earth, and it was he who was willing to sacrifice everything for revenge.

He had nearly murdered his brother, Thor- his only friend and ally left in the universe.

He had nearly sacrificed Earth and Asgard to Thanos, the universe eater.

He had almost ruined everything- and all for a case of hurt feelings.

Darcy looked up at him in concern- Loki realized he was shaking, and he almost ran out of the room to compose himself when she grabbed his hand and shook her head.
"Stay. Tell me what you're feeling."

That was the tipping point.

Darcy Lewis had every reason to loathe Loki- and she probably did. Yet somehow, she kept on putting aside her personal feelings for the sake of his mental wellbeing, simply because she knew it was the right thing to do.

How was he supposed to compete with such total goodness- in a human being, no less?

An overwhelming sense of sadness welled within him, and Loki could feel tears beginning to rise for the first time in years.

He knelt on the floor next to her bed, head held in hands as his face contorted with tears and anguish. Darcy wasn't sure if she had managed to get his two sides to reunite, but she was sure something was going well.

She felt bad though, for making anyone experience all that guilt. Darcy knew it was necessary though, not only for Loki but for her too. She wanted nothing more than to forgive him, to grant him absolution of his sins, but that was impossible until he acknowledged them.

She lost herself in thought as Loki gasped and shuddered near her feet, clearly struggling to conquer some feeling.

It wasn't until Darcy felt the pressure on the bed increase that she realized Loki had climbed on, although he was carefully avoiding her legs. He grasped both her shoulders like a drowning man, and Darcy was frightened.

Loki was staring at her, making such direct eye contact that she felt uncomfortable.

"Loki, tell me. What's in your head, what are you feeling?"

He shook his head and deeply swallowed.

"I cannot explain it… I just… Darcy, I'm so sorry. I cannot imagine the life you lead, and I cannot fathom how many other injustices I've caused to innocents like you! I literally can't imagine how many people I've hurt- Oh, my head!"

BINGO BINGO BINGO!

Darcy was about to victory dance when she realized a crying god was still holding onto her for dear life.

"Loki, breathe. Breathe, because what you're feeling is guilt, and it is good. Now come on, breathe."

Loki's breathing began to slow, and Darcy felt her racing heart calm down as well.

"Lady Darcy… I do not know if I am well again. I am… confused. I feel terrible, like I can never feel happy again… and yet, a great weight is gone! I feel lighter, freer."
"Ah, catharsis. It's wonderful, no? You are experiencing the impacts of your actions, but you feel better for acknowledging them."

She ruefully smiled, aware that she was taking part of an immense moment in his private life.

Typical, they didn't call her Third Wheel Darcy for now.

Loki wiped his eyes at this point and shook his head.

"I'm not quite sure if I'm quite… whole yet? I feel more like my old self though… I don't know. I just feel better, but still awful."

He did look better though.

"Loki, I think you should look in a mirror. Seriously, go check. Your skin looks less deathly-pale, your eyes aren't as sunken in, and the lines around your mouth don't make you look 40 anymore."

Darcy actually did a double take as he gazed at himself in the mirror. He did look better- hotter, insanely so. A small smile broke on his face as he examined his reflection, and Darcy could feel her heart breaking with something completely unwanted and unnecessary.

NO DARCY NO YOU CANNOT LIKE THIS MAN THIS MAN IS A MINEFIELD AND HE'S ALREADY BOMBED YOU ONCE.

Sadly, her heart was slow to get the message, and went right on ahead with developing a little bit of a crush on Mr. Loki God of Crushing Darcy's Spine.

(It was a bit of a mixed emotion, really.)

He poofed out of her room shortly afterwards, to speak with Thor or something.

Darcy wasn't sure if she was happy or sad to see him go- all she knew is that she wanted to go to bed and never wake up, because her chances of finding happiness were slimmer than ever.

The next morning was a bit of a shock to Darcy's system.

She awakened normally, showering and doing her hair nicely for once. Her skin seemed a bit tired, so Darcy took the time to apply the barest amount of makeup. She wasn't sure if she was okay with the end results, but a swipe of red lipstick helped cover up her shaky self-confidence, along with a comfortable dress the color of her eyes.

The dining room was empty but for Thor and baby Lucy Jane, who was babbling to herself as her father attempted to feed her some kind of gruel.

Darcy rolled to her spot next to the baby (no chair was set there because Darcy had her own) and grabbed a roll, nodding good morning to Thor.

"Lady Darcy, you look well today."

She swallowed her giant bite of bread and shook her head.
"It's all in the makeup, but thank you. I'm glad someone likes my red lipstick; whenever I wore it in New Mexico, Jane would accuse me of wanting to attract the "wrong kind of customer" whatever that means."

Thor laughed at his wife's quirks (naturally) and Darcy occupied herself with playing with the baby. She was almost ready to depart for a tour of some lab Jane had been working on when footsteps echoed about the great dining hall.

Thor stood at the sight of the visitor.
"Brother! It is good to see you this fine morning. Break fast with me?"

Loki walked in just as Darcy playing peek-a-boo with Lucy. She was hiding behind a piece of fruit when across from her she caught sight of familiar green eyes. Thor apologetically shrugged at Darcy and grasped her hand, but she shook her head to let him know that she was okay.

Clearly, the situation was awkward, but nothing fixed an awkward situation like a baby. Darcy picked up Lucy from her high chair and placed her on her lap, to take her for a walk.

"Hey Lucy Goosey, what're you up to today?" Darcy was keen to avoid overhearing the brotherly conversation that was about to occur, and very nearly escaped until she heard Loki ask, "Is that my niece on Lady Darcy's lap?"

Aw crap. I almost made it, too.

I'm working an angle here, redemption doesn't come easily to me.

Thanks for the reading, please review darlings! Hearts, xoxo