Blood / Water feat. Sabrina Carpenter
We made it three days on our own. Three. Damn. Days.
We were living off of what we could salvage from abandoned grocery stores, since we didn't have a hundred year-old veteran to order food for us anymore. We did fine on food and water, and we only ran into squatters once. They weren't too territorial so we just booked it for the truck and managed to drive away.
But on the third day away from Varvatos, we crashed. We were driving on an old back road in West Virginia when some jackass rear ended us. We swerved a few times before they scraped against us again, forcing us off the road and directly into a telephone pole. Then they sped off.
My chest was crushed against the wheel, knocking the wind out of me and giving me a colorful bruise. Krel managed to smack his face into the floor from where we was laying down in the back, nearly smashing his nose. But no broken bones. No internal bleeding. We were lucky.
The engine, not so much.
The crumpled hood broke off as we tried to lift it, revealing what was left of the engine. I got Krel the tool box from the bed of the truck, but after a few hours of listening to him hammer away, I knew it was useless.
"I can't fix it," His head was bowed, tears on his cheeks. "I - I can't -"
"It's okay, Krel," I brushed his tears away and pulled him away from the hood. "We'll just walk to the next town and get another car there."
"There's nothing but woods for miles."
"This road has to go somewhere," I said. "We'll just follow it until we find something. Easy."
He looked back at the truck. "We barely have any water left."
"We've done the impossible before," I said. "We can do this."
I did my best to keep the fear from my voice. We were both exhausted, and now battered and bruised from the crash. We were low on water. Our car was useless. And the late summer sun was boiling over us.
But we couldn't stay here out in the open.
Krel sat against the dented-in hood while I packed what we could into our bags. Krel's laptop and the nine millimeter was first, then all the polaroids I'd taken, then the first aid and burn kit, and some water purifying tablets Varvatos had gotten for us. Those made me pause for a second, just holding them and thinking about when he'd pushed them into my hands. How he'd thought of everything we would ever need.
I shook off the memory and shoved the tablets in my pack.
We had three of the plastic water bottles left, a few cans of chili, and a box of granola bars. It wasn't much, but there wasn't much else we could take anyway. Besides, by the look of the road, it would only be a few days at most. We could do that.
"Krel," I laid his backpack beside him, kneeling down. "It's time to go."
He didn't answer. He just looked so tired. I was tired too.
"Krel, come on," My voice broke. I don't know why. "We need to go."
Nothing.
I pinned my lips together, tears pouring down my face. I knew he was ready to give up. And honestly, so was I. We'd come so far only to lose so much. Moving forward seemed so pointless against the inevitable.
I shuddered.
"Aja?"
I looked up at him. "What?"
"I'm tired."
"Me too."
"I'm tired of all of this," He said. "I'm tired of running and hiding. I'm tired of losing."
I bit back a sob. "Me too."
"I just want to go home."
The sob building up in my throat suddenly released. I leaned back on my knees. "Remember those guitars Mama and Papa got us for Christmas?"
Krel looked at me.
"Do you remember the first song we learned to play together?"
He had to think for a minute. "Sabrina Carpenter?"
I nodded. "Remember the words?"
He shrugged.
I thought back to the song, trying to hear it play in my mind. It'd been so long since we'd played that song together.
"Good morning," It was more breathing than it was singing, but it was enough for Krel to look up. "You're leaving. I'll see you in the evening."
He shifted, but he didn't join in.
"My best friend, till the end. My better half, no pretend," I continued, gaining a little volume. "Our language is sacred, though people try to solve it. New adventures on the way."
"You and me together," Krel barely mumbled it under his breath. "Take on the world forever. I know all your secrets -"
"- And I promise you I'm gonna keep them," I harmonized over his melody. "I'll be there when you are feeling clueless. You and me, oh yeah, we're seamless."
"We're klutzy, but so lucky that I always have you to catch me," Krel continued.
"We're partners in crime," I grasped his hand and eased him onto his feet, slipping his bag onto his shoulder. "You're stuck with me your whole life. So different out of our minds. From a planet that's hard to find."
"Every second, everyday."
"You and me together, take on the world forever," We sang the chorus together, harmonizing just the way we had when we'd first learned it. As if no time had passed. "I know all your secrets, and I promise you I'm gonna keep them. I'll be there when you are feeling clueless. You and me, oh yeah, we're seamless."
I took his rubber-clad hand and pulled him several steps forward, walking him towards the woods before us. Close enough to see the road, but far enough so that the road couldn't see us.
"You're right by my side, whenever I need you," I sang those words alone, the walking making Krel go silent. "Through the hardest times, I'll be there for you -"
"- At the crack of dawn, when the moon is gone," Krel joined back in. "I won't be hard to find."
"Cause you and me, oh yeah, we're seamless."
So we walked, on and on, straight into the unknown. Grasping hands and singing the last chorus of our song.
We sang the rest of the day, finally coming to a stop just as the sun was setting. You'd think it would've knocked the breath out of us by the end of the first hour, but the music kept us going somehow. We started remembering all the songs we used to play together and we just couldn't stop. All the harmonies, even some of the guitar chords, were flooding back between us. What I would've given to have my guitar then.
We slept in shifts, not that we could see much without any flashlights. We spent the daytime walking, hiding from the heat in the shade whenever we could, rationing our food and water, and then stopping again in the late evening. We continued for the next two days, then ran into our first problem.
My watch told me it was just after one in the afternoon when Krel stopped to lean on a tree.
"I don't feel so good," He muttered.
I stopped, glancing back at him. "We'll rest in a minute, okay?"
He cringed, gripping his stomach. "Aja?"
I looked back again. "Yeah?"
"I think I'm going to -"
I realized a split second before it happened. Krel dropped to his knees, reeling forward and vomited everything in his stomach onto the grass. I dropped down beside him, holding back his shaggy mess of hair while he retched. It had gotten so long since we'd been on the road. I made a mental note to get it cut for him.
He was gasping and panting by the time it was over, tears streaming down his face. "I'm sorry," He moaned. "I - I'm sorry -"
"It's okay, it's okay," I rubbed my hand over his back. "You don't need to be sorry. You need to drink something, alright?"
He grunted, sitting back up against the tree. "We have some water left?"
"Yeah," I slid my pack off my shoulder and pulled out a water bottle. "Try to finish it while you walk. Can you walk?"
He slowly nodded, despite how exhausted I knew he was. One hand in mine and the other anchored to the tree, he pulled himself up, taking the water bottle and trailing after me.
"Wait, Aja," I turned to look at him. "Is this the last one?"
The realization sunk in. I nodded.
"I can't finish it, we need to save this -"
"Krel," I interrupted. "Drink it."
He looked down at the bottle, barely a fourth of the way full. Then he looked back at me. "You first."
I waved him off, starting forward again. "I'm fine, Krel."
"I'm not drinking it until you do."
I looked back again with a sigh. He was holding the bottle out for me.
"You need it."
"And what? You don't?"
I snatched the bottle from his hands. "Fine." I threw my head back, letting the water splash against my chapped lips, but holding my tongue between them to block it. I forced my dry throat to swallow once, then I pulled the bottle off my mouth and handed it back to Krel.
It took him all of two seconds to notice the trick.
"I meant actually drink it," He said, clearly not amused.
"I said I'm fine -"
"I'm not a baby, Aja."
I blinked. "I know that."
"Then why do you keep treating me like one?"
I tossed up my hands. "You just threw up, Krel! You need water in your system."
"And all of the sudden you don't?"
I clenched my fists, a low growl coming from my throat.
"You don't have to take care of me -"
"Mama and Papa raised us to protect each other," I interrupted. "You're my little brother and I'm taking care of you whether you like it or not."
He folded his arms, settling for a glare.
"Drink while you glare," I said. "We need to keep moving."
"Guess we're not moving."
I whipped around. "What?"
"You drink first," He said. "Then we'll keep moving."
"Just drink it, Krel!"
"You first!"
"Ugh!" I threw my hands up again.
"Please, Aja," Krel held it out to me. I could see he didn't have the energy to fight anymore. "Think about it this way, you can't keep babying me if you die."
I hesitated, but then took the bottle from him. "I don't baby you," I muttered.
"Whatever you need to tell yourself."
I looked down at the bottle, the feeling of thirst taking over my mouth. Finally, I tilted my head back and took a long, cool swig, relishing the way it felt down my throat. Who says water doesn't taste good? Cause that was the best damn water I've had to date.
"Thanks," I said, passing it back to him.
"Yeah, yeah," He rolled his eyes, gulping the rest of the water down.
I laughed, taking his hand and continuing to pull him along with me. But the churning fear didn't leave the back of my mind. It was official now. We were out of water. The only chance we had now was to find some kind of lake or something.
We'd stayed by the road so far, knowing it would lead us to a town, but what if we had to stray from it for water? Would we be able to find our way back? Would it even matter?
That evening, we stopped in a small clearing, dense trees overhead. Krel more collapsed than he did stop, dropping onto all fours before I could catch him.
I fell next to him. "Are you okay?"
He was panting, we both were. But there was something different about his, it was scratchier. Like it hurt to breathe.
"I don't . . ." He could barely get the words out he was so out of breath. "I don't feel . . . good . . ."
That's when his elbows gave out and he more or less collapsed onto my lap.
I turned him over, situating his head on my thigh. "It's okay," I blurted. "It's okay, it's okay, it's going be okay - oh God you have a fever."
More than a fever. Like someone had set his brain on fire. That's probably what it felt like too.
"My head . . ."
I almost laughed. "I know what you mean."
His face was completely flushed, the rest of his skin growing pink. I'd noticed it yesterday, but I just thought it was a sunburn. I, myself, had been fried to the color of a tomato at this point. But holding my arm beside his, I could tell it was a different red.
That's when it set in.
Krel had heat stroke.
We were in the middle of nowhere-West Virginia. In the blistering heat. No water. Barely any food. And Krel had heat stroke.
My hands were trembling, whether from fear or exhaustion I don't know. I tore through our packs, looking for anything that might be useful. But of course, there wasn't. I remember learning about heat stroke in health class back in fourth grade. Something about ice packs and water, two things I couldn't give him.
I touched his burning forehead again, feeling how clammy it was. "Krel?" I asked. "Krel, can you hear me?"
He gave a slow nod.
I bit my lip, tears filling my eyes. What was I supposed to say to him? That he was sick and there was nothing I could do about it?
"Come on," I said, gritting my teeth as I pulled him up to lean on my shoulder. "We're gonna keep moving."
"I . . . I can't . . ."
"I know," I hung his arm over my neck. "Just try and keep your feet under you, okay?"
I forced myself onto one knee, one arm wrapped around Krel's waist and the other gripping his wrist as it dangled across my shoulders. With a grunt, I ignored the fire in my legs and got to my feet, fumbling forward.
Every part of me ached, my lungs and legs burned. My arms felt like they might just fall off. My mind was completely fuzzy, everything in front of me going in and out of focus. But I forced myself forward anyway. We needed to find water and we needed to find it now.
I wasn't losing anyone else.
Darkness was falling, shrouding my already spotty vision. I probably couldn't have seen my hand if I'd held it in front of my face. So it makes sense that I didn't see the tree root.
My shoe stuck right under it, scraping across my sneaker and throwing me to the dirt. Krel dropped beside me, sprawled and shivering in the dark. I twisted onto my back, gasping for breath, my stomach on the verge of retching. I never knew I could be this tired. I never knew I could be thirsty with my whole body.
I never knew opening my eyes could take so much effort.
At first, I couldn't see anything. But after a few blinks, I was able to make out the stars. I'd never seen so many in the sky at once, so bright and . . .
My mind went fuzzy again, my eyes threatening to roll back.
I forced them open again, taking in the stars.
Mama and Papa used to take us to see the stars. At least once out of every month. We got a telescope to share between us some Christmas ages ago. And every chance we got, we went out as a family, to see them. Sometimes going all the way into the mountains to get the best view. Papa showed us all the constellations, and Mama told us all the stories behind them.
That was even their nickname for us. "Stars of our lives," They used to call Krel and I. That's what Papa called me right before I made him forget who I was.
The pain of the memory was the last thing I could take. I felt something in me shatter. And I gave in to sleep.
I opened my eyes to a tickling sensation on my nose. It was late morning, the heat told me that. But it took a little longer for my eyes to tell me what was on my nose. A bug.
Huh.
I almost didn't smack it away I was so tired. But then, of course, it bit me. And I was a little more motivated.
I slammed my hand into my nose, waving off the mosquito but igniting the sunburn across my face. I groaned, holding both hands over my burning skin. I've been awake for all of ten seconds and this day already sucks.
Turning on my side, I glanced over at Krel. He was still laying there, completely still. I grunted, my head swimming as I sat up. Turning him onto his back, I checked his forehead again. His fever was just as bad, if not worse. Yesterday his skin was damp and sweaty, now it was scaly and dry. Like all the moisture had been sucked from his body.
The mosquito bites on his temple were new.
I groaned, waving more bugs away as they buzzed in my ears.
"Krel," I shook him a little. "Krel, can you hear me?"
No response. He was breathing, but only shallowly.
I looked back to road, a ways away, but still in view. We could go back there, try to flag someone down. Maybe if we gave them a good enough sob story they'd help us. Or maybe they'd just turn us in and get us killed anyway.
Another mosquito buzzed in my ear.
"Damn bugs," I hissed under my breath, smacking it away.
Wait.
Bugs . . . they only swarm like this . . . near water, right?
I looked up into the distance. Just more underbrush and trees. No sight of water. Not even the sound of it. But I pushed myself up anyway.
I leaned with one hand on the tree trunks, more or less pulling myself forward. My knees buckled and shook, but the ever growing buzzing drew me in closer. And then -
Water.
I could hear it. The rushing, gurgling sound. So quiet. So soft. But so close.
I broke into a run, throwing myself passed the trees until the river came into view. It was small, not tall or bumpy with rapids, the water just softly floating by. If I had enough water left in me for tears, I would've cried. But I settled for a dry sob as I dropped onto the shore.
Pulling off my pack, I took out one of the empty water bottles, filled it, and dropped one of the water purifying tablets into it. Varvatos had said something about waiting for it to work, but I had no clue how long. I counted a minute and a half. It was as long as I could take.
I threw my head back, chugging down as much water as would fit in my mouth. I made it passed two gulps before my stomach flipped. I choked, pitching forward and almost dropping the bottle.
Slow down, I suddenly heard Papa, the first time he'd ever watched me speed around on my skateboard. Slow down, Aja. Go little by little, not all at once.
I took a measured breath, following it with a few small sips. My stomach was much happier with that. I drank three bottles worth before sprinting back to Krel, full bottle in hand.
"Wake up!" I cried, dropping to my knees beside him. "Krel! Get up!"
He jolted at my volume, but it still took a moment for his eyes to open.
"Come on," I slid my arms under his, forcing him to sit up against a tree trunk. "Guess what I found?"
He muttered something, but it wasn't clear enough for me to hear. So I just filled the cap and raised it to his lips. He instantly reacted to the water, nearly bolting off the tree trunk and grabbing my hand.
"That . . ." He looked from me to the cap. "That wasn't . . . your spit . . . was it?"
"Nope," I replied. "It was river spit. Now drink up."
I gave him small cap-fuls, making sure to go as slowly as he needed me to. Not even five minutes went by before he started reaching for the full bottle.
"Just go slow," I said, raising the rim of the bottle to his mouth. "And if anything hurts, tell me right away, okay?"
"I know . . ." He mumbled. "I know how . . . osmosis works . . ."
"I'm glad you know how psychosis works," I replied. "Less talking, more drinking."
When he finished the bottle, I slid an arm around his waist and hefted the two of us to our feet, staggering back to the river shore. Before I even filled the bottle, I dragged Krel into the water by his underarms. Again, the second his feet touched the water he reacted, lifting his head to look at me.
". . . What are you . . .?"
I waded out just deep enough, relishing how cool the water was against my legs. Situating myself against a rock to fight the current, I lowered myself into a sitting position, the water seeping up to my waist while Krel sunk on his back.
I kept a hold in his shoulders, making sure his head didn't fall beneath the surface. Then I just let him soak there for a moment in the cool water, pawing up handfuls of it to pour over his flaming forehead. It was the closest thing we had to ice packs.
"This . . ." He mumbled. ". . . feels . . . nice . . ."
I chuckled. "Does it?"
I let him soak until I felt his fever go down a few notches, slowly feeding him as much water as I could. I downed several bottles worth as well, even pausing to wash my hair out. It was late afternoon when I staggered Krel back to shore, leading him back to the clearing we'd stopped at the night before.
"Feeling better?" I asked, leaning him back against the tree trunk.
He nodded, shifting against the bark. ". . . Tired . . ."
Shedding my jacket, I walked back to the water and waded in, letting it soak. I rung it out until it was damp and then walked back to Krel to lay it across the back of his neck. I lowered myself down at his side, him shifting to lean on my shoulder.
"I'm tired too," I finally answered.
He muttered something under his breath in reply. I leaned my head on his and let myself drift off to sleep.
I woke up several hours later, the sun just brimming along the horizon. My face was tingling from my sunburn, the new mosquito bite at the tip of my nose beginning to itch. I shifted my aching back forward, putting a hand over Krel's forehead. His fever was back. Just as high as it was before I'd found water.
A weight dropped in my stomach. We needed to keep moving, I knew that. But I also knew that there was no way Krel was about to get up and walk another ten miles. I could give him cap-fuls of water. I could let him soak in it. But that wasn't what he needed. He needed a hospital. He needed an IV putting water directly into his veins.
Again, two things I couldn't give him.
"Krel," I shook his shoulder. "Can you get up?"
His eyelids fluttered in response.
I sighed, reaching over to feel the damp jacket I'd put around his neck before we went to sleep. The heat had dried it out, and Krel's fever had heated it up. Plucking it off, I grabbed an empty bottle of water and began staggering towards the river.
Kneeling at the shore, I laid my crumpled jacket beside me and dipped the bottle to fill it. Just as I was about to drop a tablet into it, I noticed a red tinge to it. I held the bottle up, seeing the ribbons of red dance around the water, settling till they dyed it pink.
Funny. That looked like -
Then I saw the body.
A girl. Floating by on the current. Face down. Three bullets holes in her back. And surrounded with dark ribbons of her own blood.
I dropped the bottle, rocketing myself back against the shore. I almost expected her to move, flail maybe. But she was so completely still, just floating by. Carrying her pool of blood with her in the water.
Suddenly I wasn't so thirsty.
"I've got eyes on her."
A woman's voice made me jump. It was from the other side of the river, not far through the underbrush.
"You wanna come see for yourself?" More voices coming with her, muffled but many.
I scrambled to my feet a split second too late. The second I was standing, a PSF officer appeared through the trees. I watched her eyes go wide when they met mine. I watched her smile.
"There's another one!" She shouted into her radio. "Blonde, caucasian female! Right across the river!"
I shrieked, pivoting on my heel and sprinting back into the woods. My heart was pounding so hard it ached, fear pumping through me like blood. I bolted into the clearing, skidding to a stop beside Krel.
"Krel!" I hissed, grabbing his shoulder to shove him awake. "Krel, get up! Now!"
He groaned, his face pinching in pain as I jolted him. But his eyes didn't open.
"Krel, please!" I shook him harder, watching him fall limp against the grass.
Tears were in my eyes, searing across my sunburn as I cried. I couldn't move Krel, but I couldn't leave him either. If PSFs caught us, they would separate us for sure. We may never see Mama and Papa again.
My mind was scrambling, desperate for a way out. But I'd hit a dead end. There was no way out. We were trapped.
Then I saw my pack. The one that contained the nine millimeter.
I grabbed Krel under his arms and dragged him across the clearing, ignoring his grunts in protest. I slid him beneath the shrubbery, ready to pull the plants down over him. But then I stopped. Pulling him up by his shoulders, I crushed him into one last hug. Just in case I never got the chance to do it again.
"I love you," I told him. "Find Mama and Papa for me." Then I ripped the greenery down over him, till him and his pack were completely hidden.
I sprinted back for my own bag, pulling out the gun and then bolting towards the river. I rounded out about halfway there, turning towards the road and far, far away from Krel. I could hear them stomping after me, their heavy boots and heavier guns crunching against the grass. When I turned, I could see them.
There were four. Three women, one man. They were trodding forward, guns aimed. But they were heading across from the river, towards the clearing. They hadn't even seen me yet.
For once, I knew what to do.
Cocking the gun, I extended my arm to the sky and pulled the trigger.
