A/N: Please review. Pretty please, with strawberry Pocky on top? I'm having a lousy week, and it would mean a lot to me. The next chapter is fairly explicit, so I will have to edit it pretty heavily and archive the unedited version elsewhere.
Kirana: Thank you for your review. I've been meaning to address it, but didn't find a chance last chapter, and since I am unable to send you a PM, I'll do so here.
Since this is an AU, I don't really feel that I've changed the characters so much as I have put them in different situations and adapted them based on different life experiences. I wanted to write a story where Eiri was the pursuer in the relationship. The Shuichi of this universe has realized his sexual orientation earlier than the canon one, and without the immediate reassuring motivation of falling for someone who is interested in him from the very start to help him deal with it. He has also been bullied, and honestly, I don't think anyone is completely impervious to bullying. I can only base this on personal experience and observation. You could make the argument that this is a character that bounced back from his own rape like it was nothing, much less bullying, but I'm afraid I just had to follow my own instincts as a writer rather than Murakami's in this instance, and risk reader's feeling it is inauthentic for Shuichi to suffer any consequences as the result of abuse. I think it is logical that this Shuichi would feel a bit less sure of himself and more cautious than the canon one in these circumstances, as he is more familiar with feelings of rejection. Even canon Shuichi has been shown to be a bit insecure sometimes, after all (his obsession over Eiri's criticism, the way he behaved in the Ayaka story arc, etc.). Anyway, this is more or less an explanation of my thought process regarding Shuichi's characterization in this story. I tried not to be too long-winded and dull about it, but I'm not sure I succeeded! :) Again, thank you for taking the time to review! - Lucy May
Eiri shook his head as he took the steps down to the lobby just behind Shuichi, who had already sprinted out of sight. He could say many things about what a pain in the ass this whole thing was turning out to be, but he could never say that it was boring.
He'd be lying to himself if he denied that he had been glad that the boy had come back after all, and that he had sought him out. Shuichi had felt so good in his arms, he tasted so sweet - he was fucking intoxicating, Eiri thought with a shudder. But what the hell was with him though? The idiot couldn't seem to make up his mind what the hell he wanted. He'd never had anyone draw him in and then push him away like this brat did. He wasn't used to his prey putting up such a struggle.
"Hey, Tohma, me and the kid are leaving. Just thought I'd tell you," Eiri muttered, approaching his brother-in-law, who was standing just inside the doors of the auditorium.
"He isn't auditioning?" Tohma asked. Eiri shook his head.
"Kid's got some issues with it or something. It's not like it matters much to me either way," Eiri said.
"I am surprised he would give up such an opportunity, but perhaps it is for the best in the long run," Tohma said, with a teasing smile. "You know, in case you decide he isn't worth the trouble again five minutes from now."
"Yeah," Eiri said, refusing to take the bait. "Look, I was wondering about what you said, regarding the advance and going to get a car." Tohma smiled brightly.
"Of course, Eiri-san. We can go tomorrow if you wish," Tohma said, clearly pleased that Eiri had taken him up on his suggestion.
"That will work. You can just come by whenever, I guess," Eiri said, and left the auditorium, scanning the incoming audition hopefuls for a glimpse of Shuichi. He wasn't difficult to spot, his little pink head making him stand out every bit as much as Eiri did with his blonde hair. He was talking to his supposed arch rival, Fujisaki Suguru, and making the nervous looking kid smile about something. Shuichi was one weird guy, Eiri thought, making his way to the front doors to catch up with him.
"Hey," Shuichi greeted him with a shy smile. "Are you sure you're not annoyed or mad at me about all this?"
"Oh, I'm plenty annoyed. You should have just told me you were flaking out earlier and saved us having to come all the way over here," Eiri said as they walked out the front door. Shuichi frowned and looked at his feet. "But no, I'm not mad," Eiri added.
Ryuichi rushed out behind them, grabbing Shuichi by the arm and startling him. Eiri leveled a glare at him, that he met defiantly, before focusing his attention on the pink haired teen.
"Where are you going, Shuichi?" Ryuichi asked with a pout.
"Sakuma-san," Shuichi said nervously. "Oh, I - I've decided to sit this one out. It's been amazing getting to meet you. Thank you so much."
"Is he making you leave?" Ryuichi whispered loudly, jerking his thumb towards Eiri, who gave him a wary look as he exhaled smoke from the cigarette he'd just lit.
"What? No! Eiri is the one who got me the audition. This is my decision. It's complicated," Shuichi said uneasily.
"Well, you'll at least come see me it in, right? Pinkie swear?" Ryuichi asked, offering his little finger.
"Of course! I wouldn't miss seeing you on stage again for the world!" Shuichi said, taking Ryuichi's pinkie with his own and giggling.
"Are we done here?" Eiri asked irritably. Ryuichi turned, giving him a smirk that Shuichi couldn't see.
"Sure, we're done. See you around!" Ryuichi chirped, bounding back into the building.
OoOoO
"That was so nice of him," Shuichi said dreamily as they walked back to the apartment. "I can't believe he came here for my audition."
"Yeah, he's a real sweetheart," Eiri deadpanned.
"You don't like him very much, do you?" Shuichi asked.
"I don't like most people," Eiri said. "He's nothing special."
"Well, he obviously doesn't seem to like you much," Shuichi said.
"I'm heartbroken," Eiri said. They walked in silence for a while.
"Did - did something happen between you?" Shuichi asked at last. Eiri looked at him.
"What, do you think I sleep with other guys all the time?" Eiri asked.
"I don't know. I don't know anything about you yet," Shuichi said with a sigh. "But I want to."
"No, nothing happened between me and Sakuma-san. He just seems to think I did him wrong one time, when I was really doing him a favor," Eiri said, dropping his cigarette and crushing it under his step. "Are we going to talk about him all night?"
"No," Shuichi said, clinching his fists at his sides with determination. "There's just one more thing, though."
"What is it?" Eiri asked as they stopped outside the apartment building.
"He said that you - well, that you never stay with anyone longer than it takes to get them to sleep with you," Shuichi said, not meeting his eyes. "Is that true, Yuki? Is that the only reason you still let me come around?"
"What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say I'll be your lover?" Eiri asked. Shuichi's eyes widened, and he blushed cutely, biting his lip.
"Maybe," Shuichi said softly, his gaze drifting up to meet Eiri's. "I mean, yes."
"What about Hiro?" Eiri asked.
"I don't want him. I want you," Shuichi said.
"Okay, then," Eiri said, turning to walk up the steps.
What the hell, Eiri thought. If he could get the kid to stop freaking out on him, it might not be so bad to have a regular sex partner around. It would sure beat doing another song and dance for a different person every time he got horny. Besides, it wasn't like he couldn't end it if it got to be too much of a hassle.
"That's it? That wasn't very romantic," Shuichi said with a laugh, catching up with him as he pushed the elevator button.
"You sound like a woman," Eiri muttered as the elevator door opened.
"Hey!" Shuichi said indignantly. Before he could say anymore, Eiri grabbed him by the shirtfront and pulled him into the elevator car, pinning him against the wall and kissing him as the door shut behind them.
"Mmm, naughty boy, seducing your acting coach," Eiri whispered, nuzzling his throat before licking it. Shuichi gave a shaky laugh, then gasped as Eiri pinched his nipple through his shirt.
The door opened, and a scandalized looking man in a suit stood waiting on Eiri's floor. Shuichi looked like he wanted to disappear as the man cleared his throat. Eiri grabbed Shuichi's hand and pulled him out with him, turning to blow the man a kiss before the door closed on him.
"But that's your neighbor," Shuichi said uncomfortably.
"So?" Eiri said, pulling his keys from his pocket.
"You really don't care what anyone else thinks, do you?" Shuichi asked.
"Why the hell should I? Why the hell should you, for that matter?" Eiri asked, opening the door.
"Because sometimes people aren't very understanding or very nice to people like - to people like me," Shuichi said, looking Eiri in the eyes as he followed him inside. "I'm gay, Yuki. This might be something you've had time to work out and deal with, but I haven't yet, okay?"
"I'm not gay," Eiri said. Shuichi shook his head.
"Fine, you're bi, pansexual, whatever. But what I'm saying is that I'm scared. I admit it. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong, but other people do, and they'll use this to judge me, belittle me and shun me. They already do. They already did before I even knew I liked guys, and now that I know they're right about me, it just makes it worse," Shuichi said, tears welling up in his eyes as he pushed past Eiri and sat on the couch.
Eiri fidgeted with his keys before dropping them on the table and going to the kitchen, bringing back two beers.
"Take one," Eiri said, handing it to him before Shuichi could object, and joining him on the couch with a sigh. Here came those messy human emotions again, he thought as he cracked open his beer and took a long sip. And here I thought I was finally going to get laid.
"This stuff tastes terrible," Shuichi said, wrinkling his nose.
"You get used to it," Eiri said. "So you're getting picked on at school, then?" He really wasn't that surprised, seeing as the kid had pink hair and went around school in a dress all the time.
"It used to be worse, because I had a lot of classes with the guys who always give me shit, but I had a run in with them today, and it just really brought it all back how bad they used to make me feel," Shuichi said, looking at the carpet and sighing. "It was pretty awful back then. I didn't have any friends in my gym class, and this Taki guy just singled me out from day one. I mean, I'm pretty athletic and outgoing, so I'd never really had a problem like that before, but he just sort of zeroed in on my being in the drama club, and I'd just started dyeing my hair, and he started calling me gay.
The other guys would join in and laugh at me, and they were always accusing me of checking them out, and I got to the point where I was afraid to even look at anyone and get them started in on me, you know?
They were always ganging up on me in the locker room when the coach wasn't around. I - I don't even want to talk about all the things they used to do. It's just too embarrassing." Shuichi wiped at his eyes angrily.
"I used to get picked on a lot, too. Because of my hair and my eyes," Eiri said.
"What did you do?" Shuichi asked.
"I beat the shit out of them and got expelled," Eiri said. Shuichi laughed.
"You're so cool! I wish I could've done that - well, except for the expelled part. My mom would kill me," Shuichi said.
"I didn't get killed. I got sent to New York with Tohma," Eiri said.
"Wow, was this when he was doing a show on Broadway?" Shuichi asked excitedly. Eiri nodded.
He needed to change the subject. He definitely did not want to get into New York right now. Eiri slid closer to Shuichi, lifting his chin and kissing him softly. He gently wiped away a tear with his thumb.
"Shuichi," he murmured. Damn those kids for hurting you, Eiri thought.
"I like it when you say my name," Shuichi said with a small smile, violet eyes sparkling. He was just entirely too cute.
"They're not right about you. They don't know anything, understand?" Eiri asked. Shuichi nodded slowly, looking to the side with a frown and biting his lip.
"Hey, it's not about you, or who you want to sleep with. You stand out because you're special, and dumb animals attack anything they don't understand," Eiri said angrily, letting go of Shuichi's chin and turning away from him to take a long pull of his beer. He'd said more than he'd meant to, but he'd seen himself in that hurt expression on Shuichi's face for a moment, recalling all too clearly the pain of being ridiculed.
He felt a hand on his arm and turned to look at Shuichi, who raised up and kissed him tenderly. Eiri encircled his narrow waist with his arms and pulled him closer, coaxing him onto his back. Shuichi clung to him tightly, and Eiri was pleased by how he seemed to finally be letting go of himself a little. He raised his head and looked down at the boy's lust glazed expression with a smile.
"Do you want to see where we can take this? There's no school tomorrow. Think you can call your mother and make some excuse to stay the night?" Eiri asked, while the boy looked hypnotized.
"Stay the night?" Shuichi asked, blinking and looking uncertain.
"Look, brat, we'll do this right, I promise. We stop when you say we do, and we don't have to do anything that is going to freak you out. Just tell me what you want," Eiri said, letting him sit up.
"I - I guess I could say I'm at Hiro's. I'll have to call him too though to back me up," Shuichi said, making a face.
"Hiro knows about us, you said. He'll understand," Eiri said, trying to keep his patience. How did he go from having people trying to get into his pants everywhere he went to this? This was like pulling teeth, even when he thought he'd finally had the kid right where he wanted him. The damned brat is going to give me a complex, Eiri thought to himself.
"We really stop when I say? You won't get pissed off?" Shuichi asked. Eiri was ready to pull his hair out already. This was all turning out to be a very bad idea.
"Can you try to relax and trust me? Have I ever made you do anything?" Eiri asked. Shuichi shook his head, and gave Eiri a long look.
"Okay. I'll call her," Shuichi said.
"Great. I'll be in the bathroom then," Eiri said and stood, half wondering if the kid would slip out the front door the moment he was out of his sight.
