Thankyou for the wonderful response for the last chapter! It was amazing :)

A couple of hours later they awoke yet again in each other's arms. She had her back pressed closely to his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her. He was at a loss as to what to think or feel so he just laid there, brushing his fingers softly over her smooth skin with one hand and feeling her stomach move up and down as she breathed with the other. He could feel her warmth and smell her hair. She was where she belonged - in his arms, in his bed, in his loft. Everything felt so right, but it wasn't. If only they could just forget what had happened.

She laid against him with her eyes closed, tears forming behind her delicate lids. Why was this so hard? She could feel him grazing his fingers across her skin and the warmth of his body against hers. She wanted to smile, to laugh – but she just couldn't, not after everything that had happened. She was scared and tired and didn't want to lose him. Three months ago she never thought that she would be back there, in his arms, in his bed, in his loft. She had to tell him what happened, explain everything so that he could move on, so she could move on. She wanted his forgiveness and understanding, but most of all she just wanted to continue on with her life, with their life. But for now he was being dismissive, not facing the problem head on but instead he was ignoring it. She knew her turning up at his doorstep out of the blue was a big thing to comprehend, but she needed to talk to him. She just needed him.

"Castle?" She questioned quietly as she felt his hands tighten further around her. She didn't want to do this. She just wanted to stay as they were forever.

"Yeah?" He replied softly.

She breathed in and out deeply, her blinking sending silent tears down her cheeks before she whispered, "We need to talk Castle. I need to explain". Her voice was a plea and he could hear it dripping from every word. He could hear her desperation, her inner turmoil to release all that had kept them apart these last three months.

He nuzzled his head into her neck, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. All this time he had wondered what had happened but then she turned up at his doorstep and for a while he just didn't care. Now his curiosity had returned but it came accompanied by fear and hesitation. Did he really want to know?

"Castle?" She repeated, her voice shaky with tears as she rolled over in his arms so she was facing him. His arms stayed locked around her and his eyes opened to meet her tear filled ones. "Please talk to me". Her voice was so quiet and desperate.

He sighed as his curiosity won. He wiped away her stray tears as he asked, "What happened that night?"

She watched as grief filled his eyes as his question about 'that night' brought painful memories back to his mind. She swallowed, biting her lip before beginning her much needed explanation. "I woke up and I went to the kitchen to get some water. I turned the light on and as soon as I did someone covered my mouth with their hand to stifle my scream and they had their arm around my waist. It was Mr Smith." She watched as Castle's eyes widened. "Maddox had found him and shot him. Somehow he managed to escape and he came looking for me. He told me that I had to leave, that Maddox said that he was going to kill me." She paused, watching Castle's face closely, but he gave nothing away. She had no idea what he was thinking so she just breathed in and continued. "The last thing I wanted to do was go with him. But then I thought of you, asleep and peaceful and how you would do anything to protect me. I couldn't let that happen. If I stayed Maddox would have killed me and anyone who got in his way. I didn't have a choice. I couldn't lose you Rick. I couldn't be so selfish to risk your life after I had so willingly almost thrown my own away. I just wanted it to be over. Smith said that he could finish it, he just needed some time. So I agreed to go with him. I asked him what I needed to do and he said that I should make it look like I was already dead so Maddox wouldn't come after you." She looked away from him as her hand brushed subconsciously over the large scar on her forearm. "He handed me a knife, but I couldn't do it, so… he did. And then we left."

"The blood". He whispered as he noticed the scar on her arm. He released one of his arms from around her to take her forearm in his grip, gliding his finger down the dark pink line. "There was so much blood". He looked at her, his face grave and eyes red. "I can still smell it everywhere I go."

She placed her palm on his cheek. "I'm so sorry Rick."

"You could have stayed."

She shook her head, tears falling. "No, I couldn't have and you know it. We would all be dead."

"I thought you were." He looked away from her.

"I know. I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make this easier. I didn't want to leave. I had finished with all of that. But there was too much at stake. I went too far and I had to bear the consequences. I had to make it right, make it safe."

He looked back to her as realization dawned on him. "You came back. You got Maddox?"

She smiled sadly at him nodding. "We got Maddox and we got who he was working for. Turns out the FBI had been trying to pin him as well so they protected Smith and me while they got all of the evidence together." He gave her a look of disbelief. "It's over Castle. It's finally over." He breathed out, not realising that he had been holding his breath, a small smile forming on his lips. "It's over".

They had lain in his bed just staring at each other for a while before he suggested breakfast after his stomach had grumbled audibly. He had completely forgotten about food after all that had happened, his hunger just not registering through his emotional turmoil. He was still unsure of what to think and what to feel. He was completely relieved that it was all over and that she was alive but he couldn't just erase the three months he had spent grieving her, convinced she was dead. But for now she was right there, alive, real, breathing, walking, talking….just there. It made him happy so he focused on the fact that she was alive. However, every now and then his mind strayed and he began to doubt himself. And every time this happened he would reach out to touch her or hold her that bit tighter, just to reassure himself.

Kate quickly understood his constant need for assurance as while they waited for eggs to cook and toast to pop he would grab her hand or pull her close. She never pulled away nor said anything about his constant need for contact. She knew that she had to let him work through it so that they could both heal.

They hardly spoke while they cooked and ate. Partly because they didn't know what to say but mostly because they were just happy to be in each other's company after so long. Their emotions had finally lowered from breaking point allowing them to revel in a sense of unfamiliar serenity as they let everything go though they were completely aware there would be more to come.

They were taking their dishes over to the sink when Kate said softly, "I should go Castle." He looked at her, eyes wide and fear creeping into them. "I haven't been home yet and I have so much that I have to do."

"You haven't been to your apartment?" He asked quietly.

She shook her head. "I was only allowed to go yesterday afternoon so I went straight to my dad's and then I came here."

"How did your dad take it?"

She smiled sadly. "Hard at first. When he opened the door he couldn't believe it, but then, before I knew it he was hugging me so tightly I couldn't breathe. He was so relieved and happy." She sighed. "Now I just have to tell Ryan, Esposito and Lanie."

He looked at her defeated expression before she met his eyes and said again, "I should go. Thanks for breakfast and for everything. I can't tell you how sorry I am about all of this".

She began to walk to the door, her imminent absence finally sinking into his mind. "Wait!" She turned around. "Let me come with you. Please. You can't just leave again."

"But Castle, I'm just going to my apartment. I can come back."

"I know, but please. I just…" He looked away from her. He couldn't explain it. He needed to be with her - to be able to reach out and touch her. He had to be sure that she wasn't leaving again."Please, Kate." He was begging now.

She nodded slowly, understanding that he needed her close. She knew he wasn't completely convinced she was real yet. "Well, how about you shower and change and then we can go to my place okay?"

He smiled, relieved at the fact she had agreed before walking towards her and pulling her into his arms, holding her tight.

"Thank you". He whispered in her ear before releasing her and walking towards his room.

She smiled as she walked to his couch and sat down. Everything was going to be okay.

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