Catherine's turn
Chapter 9
The orderlies take me back to my room with Steve and Danny following behind me. The twins are in the nursery getting bathed, weighed, blood tests, and diapers changed while we visited with my parents, sister, and the Five-0 Ohana. I was hoping to spend some time with just Steve and our children, but didn't know how to ask everyone to leave for awhile.
I asked Steve to help me to the bathroom so I could wash my face, brush my hair, and change into a maternity gown. I guess it's true what they say that spouses can read each other's minds and Steve asks our family to run some errands so we can have some time alone with our children. I take the time before the babies come back to give him the cuff links I bought him from Saylor and JD. I really wanted to surprise him because he is really sentimental so having our children's initials was something that I knew would really touch his heart. He has a box of items that he has kept over the years of cards and gifts his mom, dad, and sister had given him throughout his life until he was 15 years old. I know he opens his box and goes through it on his mom's birthday and the anniversary of her death. I've gone with him to the cemetery the last couple of years and the pain of losing her are always still there. I don't think it ever gets easier, but he is able to push it down deep inside and he doesn't let it come to the surface every day.
It always amazes me that his Five-0 family only knows him as this tough guy Super Seal, but he really is so much more. Steve has so many wonderful facets of his personality and he keeps most of that reserved for me and our family. I know Danny has seen some of the sides of Steve he only used to show only to me. Danny has really given Steve the much needed unconditional friendship that he lost when he left the Navy. It was hard for Steve when he lost three of his best friends during the raid on his convoy with Anton Hess. Steve is a great friend, but when he lost so many friends in the Navy, it became harder and harder to find and trust new ones that he could rely on. He knew all the Seals had his back during their Ops but he felt lost when he didn't have his buddies to turn to when he had to deal with the everyday crap we all do. Mitch is one of the last Navy friends that Steve still has that he has known more than ten years and he still talks to him and emails him just to see how he's doing.
The nurses brought the twins in so we could have some alone time and I could try to nurse them. Saylor was wide awake and JD was asleep so I had Steve bring our daughter to me and help me get her to latch on. If you've never seen a fully engorged breast before, let me tell you, they are not fun to have to look at or give to a newborn…especially one who is only five pounds _. It was hard for her to get the hang of it for the first ten minutes but once we both knew what we were doing, things went smoothly. After she nursed for about 15-20 minutes, Steve took her to burp her and handed me JD. JD seemed to get the hang of latching on quicker than his sister, and he nursed for about 15 minutes and then seemed to get bored. …(all ready a typical male). I burped him and held him for a little while since my parents were just now getting back and my sister was holding Saylor.
While I was nursing the twins, my body seemed to shake and I started to feel weird. I couldn't really describe it but I started to feel light headed and sweaty, and I knew something wasn't right. I thought it might be low blood sugar since I hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours. I didn't want to scare Steve so I just waited and hoped it would go away. Unfortunately it got worse, and I started seeing spots. Before I could tell anyone, or call a nurse, Steve runs down to his truck to grab something. While he is gone, I feel a horrific headache coming on and I feel dizzy. I ask my mom to hold JD and then I can't remember what happened. It seems like a long time but it is really only a moment or two before I start to be aware of what is going on. The next thing I remember is seeing all these people running into my room and I am watching them from above. I hear "CODE BLUE" over and over and have no idea why I feel like I am watching my life unfold like I am watching a TV medical show. Based on what the symptoms showed, the doctors think I am either having a stroke or maybe a blown aneurism, or a blood clot that is moving or leaking. They see that my blood pressure is elevated and give me a shot to try to get it down and start taking me to get a CAT scan. As they are taking me down to the CAT scan Steve is getting off the elevator and is shocked to see me having a seizure and them taking me away.
My mom tells him what is happening and the two of them follow me down one floor. My dad, sister, and Five-0 family are waiting in our room with the twins and are praying that I come back to them alive and in one piece.
"What is taking so long? She's been in there for 45 minutes and no one has come out to talk to us yet. Oh God, I can't lose her, she's my life and I can't go through this again, and our children need her and we all need her." Steve is telling my mom while trying not to cry. He is remembering the last time I was in the hospital after I was attacked while we were in Washington, D.C. for Kara and Mitch's wedding and he finally let the tears flow.
"Steven, you know how strong she is, and how much she prayed and wanted those babies. She's going to fight with all she has to stay here with us and raise your children with you. Just ask God to watch over her and He will." My mom tells Steve as she is holding his hands. Just then my dad and sister come to sit with them.
"Any word yet?" My dad wants to know.
"No, she's been in there for 45 minutes and nothing yet. Where are the twins?" Mom asks my dad.
"The nurses took them to the nursery since they were both asleep and they knew we wanted to come be with Catherine. Did she regain consciousness while she was in route to her tests?" Dad asks Steve.
"No, she was still unconscious and the doctor said she may be that way for awhile. What the hell happened while I was gone?" Steve wants to know.
"After she finished nursing Stevie, she was burping him when she suddenly asked me to take him because she was having the worse headache she ever felt. As soon as I took Stevie, she passed out and started seizing and the machines went crazy. Ed went to the nurses and yelled for them to come and in 30 seconds two doctors and two nurses were in with her. Her blood pressure was off the charts and they said she needed another dose of meds and started getting the injection ready. As soon as they got her to stop seizing we were on our way to get the CAT scan. That's when you came along. I don't know what this could be, she's is in such great shape and was only on bed rest a few weeks. I wonder if she could have a blood clot in her legs that got lose or something worse than that." My mom is telling Steve, my sister, and Dad.
"Dr. Cassidy thought of that and she had her wear compression leg wraps at least 8 hours a day to keep her from getting any clots while she was under bed rest. This can't be real, I swear, why would God do this to us, to her? She wanted to be a mother so badly, this can't be the end, and I won't believe that it will be. She deserves to raise our children and experience being a mom." Steve can't stop pacing back and forth while waiting for word from the doctors. "Has anyone called Danny or my sister yet?"
"Kono did, they are about five minutes from here", Chin tells Steve. "What else do you need us to do Steve, how can we help?"
Just then Dr. Coelho, Neurologist comes out and is looking for Steve. "Commander McGarrett, my name is Peter Coelho, and I am the staff Neurologist, and I have an update for you on Mrs. McGarrett. "
"What is it doctor?" he asks.
"Well, as I suspected, she had a blood clot that got lose and ended up near her brain stem. That caused a tremendously painful headache that was so bad she passed out and started seizing. The clot is leaking so we will have to go in and put a stent in after we give her a dose of a clot-dissolving medicine called tissue plasminogen activator (t-PA) which should dissolve the part of the clot we can't get to. This type of stroke is an "Ischemic stroke" and as long as we can treat it within the first two hours, she should have 100% recovery with a very small chance of brain damage. I don't see any deficits at this time. She is still not awake yet but that is from the medication, not the stroke. One person at a time can go sit with her before we take her to surgery in the next hour. Do you have any questions for me?"
"What caused this? The bed rest or the high blood pressure or something else?" Steve asks.
"I would say a little of both, but her chances of survival would have been only about 5% if she wasn't taking such good care of herself, and she wasn't in such great physical shape. From reading her file, I see she was a Naval Officer and kept up the regimen of exercise that she was doing when she left her post. I understand from Dr. Cassidy that until six weeks ago she was still jogging and walking five miles a day. That is likely one of the one best ways to keep blood clots from forming as well as keeping her blood pressure down. The problem must have stemmed from the fact that she was bedridden the last month and we didn't take her exercise schedule into consideration. We should have made her do some swimming or water aerobatics to prevent a clot from forming. Going from being able to walk or jog to total stationery wasn't the best plan. Dr. Cassidy is very upset that she didn't make sure your wife new she could do water exercises instead of running. Commander, your wife is a remarkable woman and her survival is 100% due to her will to live and drive to stay healthy during her pregnancy. Now I really need to go to get ready for the surgery, you can spend a few minutes with her before we take her to the operating suite." Dr. Coelho says as he takes Steve to see me.
"Thank you so much, Dr. Coelho, is there anything else she needs? Steve asks
"Right now, just go in and sit with her and talk to her. She can hear you and we want her to wake up on her own so if you can just tell her stories, memories, she will have a better chance of waking up. Commander, I am really optimistic of her chances to make a complete recovery, but I have to get in there and get this clot contained, and then we wait for 24 hours to see how fast she wakes up." Dr. Coelho says as he leaves.
"Thank you so much, Dr. Coelho, I'll let you get ready for surgery." Steve shakes his hand as he goes into my room.
It is weird to watch my husband so upset and to see my parents crying. I don't understand why I feel like I am floating and watching from some weird place. I don't feel like I am dying and I don't see any light calling me to it. I don't think I am dead, but I don't feel like I am in my body either. What is this and why am I just in some kind of limbo?
Steve sits down next me to me and takes my hand and kisses me on the forehead. "Hey, Baby, you are giving me quite a scare. The doctor says you are going to be fine, you just need a little help and then we can be back in our room with our family. Cath, I love you so much, and I know you wouldn't leave us, you just have to remember Saylor and Stevie need you and we need you to come back to us, please Cath, come back to us." He lays his head near my lap and just lets his tears flow and keeps kissing and caressing my hand while waiting for me to go to surgery. He stays with me for 15 minutes and then he feels my hand stoking his hair.
"Hi, sailor, what happened? Why am I in the ICU and where are the twins?" I ask Steve.
"Hey Baby, thank God, how do you feel, is your head still hurting?" Steve asks me as he leans over and gives me a loving kiss and strokes my forehead.
"Yeah, it hurts but not like before. Why did I get such a bad headache and why am I hooked up to so many more machines?"
"You had a blood clot that traveled from your leg and ended up near your brain stem, and it's leaking. Since you are in such great shape, it didn't do any damage that they can find. They gave you medicine to stop any more clots from forming and the doctor is going to put a stent in your brain to fix the damage done by the clot. He said you will be fine once he does the surgery. You should be in surgery for about three hours and then to the ICU overnight. He said you can nurse the babies if you are feeling up to it, but you will most likely be tired and just want to sleep over night. You sure scared us, Baby, just like the last time you were in the hospital. I think I just lost 10 years off my life." Steve sits on the bed next to me and strokes my hair and holds my hands.
"Is Stevie ok, I didn't drop him did I? Tell me he's ok, Steve, please."
"Hey, hey, calm down Cath, no you didn't drop him, you handed him to your mom, he's fine asleep with his sister in the nursery. You have to stay calm so your blood pressure doesn't go up anymore. "
The surgical team comes in and transfers me to a gurney and takes me to the surgical floor. Steve, my parents, and Dorian all walk with me until they can't go any farther. Steve kisses me and whispers to me and my parents and sister kiss me goodbye. I don't feel like I am floating anymore, I just feel loved and know I can survive because of the love my family has for me.
Danny and MaryAnn arrive and he takes her to the nursery to meet the twins. Steve goes to the maternity floor so he can give the babies to their Aunty MaryAnn to hold. He asks her to be JD's godmother and she is so excited and holds them for 30 minutes each. Danny takes Steve aside to ask him what he needs and what can he do for him. Steve just asks him to stay with the babies so Steve can go to the chapel alone.
"Hey Mom, Dad, I miss you guys so much especially today. Hey Dad, I became a father myself today, and I couldn't be happier. I hope I can do as good of a job as you did. I want to take them to all the places you took me and Mare and show them how wonderful Hawaii is. Cath and I had twins,.our daughter, Saylor Margaret-Catherine, and our son, Steven Jonathon-Daniel were born by C-Section a few hours ago. Man, I wish you were here to meet them; they are so beautiful. Saylor looks just like her gorgeous mother, dark hair and dark eyes and Stevie (JD) has blue eyes like you and me dad, and his hair is dirty blonde like you Mom, right now. I need your help, Mom and Dad. Cath is in surgery and I need you to watch over her and make sure the doctors do everything they can to make sure they get the clot repaired. I lost you mom when I was a teenager, and it was the hardest thing I had ever been through. My children can't lose Catherine. If this is our family legacy, you have to change it for me, please, I need you guys to do this. Please, look over my family and bring Catherine back to me and our children. I love you guys and really wish you were here with me today." Steve is crying loudly and when Danny comes in, he gets up and Danny gives him a hug.
"Hey, Buddy, you think I could say a prayer too and ask God to take care of Cath?" Danny wants to know.
"Sure, thanks Danno, I am sure every little bit will help." Steve tells him. Danny kneels down at the altar and silently says a prayer for me.
Steve and Danny go back to be with the babies and wait with everyone else for word on my surgery. I am in surgery and recovery for about two hours before I can have any visitors. Dr. Coelho came to give everyone an update.
"Commander McGarrett, your wife is in recovery now, you can go and sit with her if you'd like. The surgery went very well. I got all the excess blood out of her brain, and the stent is working perfectly. She is going to be very tired and have a killer headache, but we can control that with a PCN pump of morphine while she's here. I know she had a C-Section and she's not going to feel like getting up very much, but she needs to get up and walk every few hours. I know she wore her compression socks faithfully, but that obviously wasn't enough to stop a clot from forming. I have an order in her chart that she is to have the Foley removed and get up and use the restroom. I'd like her to walk once around the maternity ward and see how she feels after she does. I will be back to check on her before I leave tonight. I have one more surgery but it is a long one so I won't be out for six hours. Do you have any questions?" He asks Steve.
"Is it ok for her to nurse or pump for the twins? I know my wife and if she's awake, she will want to be with our children as much as she can." he asks.
"If she feels up to holding your babies, and nursing them, let her do it. But remember, she just had her skull cut open and she will be a great deal of pain for the next week at least. Make sure she uses the PCA pump so she doesn't suffer. I have ordered a non-narcotic pain killer than won't be passed onto the babies. Sorry to rush, but I have another patient that is in critical condition I need to get to. I just wanted to personally give you an update on Mrs. McGarrett. I will see you later this evening when I come in for a neuro check on your wife, Commander." Dr. Coelho leaves and Steve goes straight to the recovery room to see me. I wake up for about five minutes and then go back to sleep. The site of the incision is right at the base of my head so I have to lie on my side. Steve hasn't left my side, and Danny and MaryAnn have been by his side the whole time. Somehow Steve managed to get the OB nurses to let my parents bring the babies in their bassinet for a few minutes so I could nurse them again. After I stayed in the eight hours the doctor came back in and was really happy with my progress. He said my will to heal and see my children is incredible and that he thinks I can go home in five days. The neurosurgeon and Dr. Cassidy also had an order stating the babies need to stay with me so I could continue to nurse. Once I pass the 8 hours mark, the doctors say once I wake up I can go back to the family suite and can even nurse the children if I am feeling up to it. While I am away from the twins, Steve and my family get to feed the babies with formula and I wake up less than 24 hours after my headache started.
