*Disclaimer*
I do not own Camp Rock or its characters nor do I own the song used in this chapter.
Chapter 9: You're Not Sorry
I returned to the Mess Hall and it was a miracle that I was able to still sit down at the table facing Caitlyn and the boys without breaking down completely. A quick glance at the doorway showed that Shane apparently wasn't going to return any time soon.
Jason looked as if he wanted to ask what had happened but a quick glare from Nate prevented him from doing so.
I gave Nate a small grateful smile.
"Mitchie?"
I felt a light tug on the back of my shirt and knew immediately who it was. I couldn't help the quickly forming wide smile that graced my face when I turned around to greet them.
I lifted Lena up onto my lap and Benji quickly followed suit settling himself in the space between Jason and I on the table. However he nearly pushed Jason out of his seat on the bench in the process.
"Hey! That wasn't very nice," Jason cried.
"What you gonna do about it?" Benji asked tauntingly.
There was a mischievous gleam in his eye as he said this and it sent Jason nearly cowering at the edge of the bench. Although Jason was much older and bigger than Benji, clearly Benji was being the tormentor in this case.
I saw Jason lean towards Nate, keeping a cautious eye on Benji, and whispered, "Nate, he's scary."
"Benji!" I scolded.
"What? I wanted to sit. He didn't move." Benji stated to justify his actions.
"Benji, Jason is your counselor and one of my close friends. So is Nate. You better not give them trouble or they will tell me then my mom won't let you have any more of her chocolate cupcakes." I threatened.
Benji looked at me hard for a moment as if to see if I was really serious about my threat. I stared right back as if daring him to try and call my bluff.
Finally he back down and pouted in defeat and turned to Jason to mumble a "sorry".
"It's okay Benji. I'll share my cupcake with you."
Everyone at the table turned to look at the source of the soft voice.
Lena was never one that liked to grab attention like Benji and immediately pressed herself closer to me her eyes wide with fear at the 2 strange boys staring at her.
"Hi! I haven't seen you before. I'm Jason. What's your name?" Jason exclaimed happily sticking his hand out for her to shake.
Ah, good old Jason, he was such a kid at heart but unfortunately his greeting didn't make Lena feel any apprehensive. In fact she now practically clung to me like a lifeline pressing her face into the crook of my neck.
I rubbed her back soothingly and made the introductions for her.
"Nate. Jason. This shy little one here is Lena. She's in Caitlyn and my group." I explained.
The in a softer tone I murmured, "Lena, these are my good friends Nate and Jason. They are very nice people. You don't have to be afraid."
Slowly but surely Lena loosened her grip on my and peered through her long locks warily at Nate and then at Jason who still had his hand out for her to shake.
Hesitantly she stuck her hand out and Jason grinned widely at her.
"Nice to meet you Lena. Do you like birds?
I heard Benji huff, glaring at the fact that now Lena was now smiling shyly at Jason and listening intently at him as he went on to describe the different birds he saw around the camp.
"Are we done playing nice now? Can we get to Opening Jam already?" Benji asked annoyed crossing his arms in front of him.
He looked so much like Shane at that moment that even Nate couldn't help but stare at Benji. His every mannerism was so much like Shane's. How could I never have made the connection before?
"Benji's right. We should be heading towards the outdoor auditorium right now. I'll go get our campers." Caitlyn replied breaking me from my train of thoughts.
Snapping back from my thoughts I quickly got up and set Lena down on her feet but kept a hold on her hand.
Not a good idea to think about Shane right now.
"Is Connect Three going to be performing?" I asked looking at Nate and Jason but neither of them had a chance to answer.
"Yes, it's a new song I wrote a while back."
I didn't even need to turn around or have Benji suddenly tense up next to me to know.
It was Shane.
"Mind if I walk with you guys?" He asked hesitantly but his gaze never wavered from mine.
I didn't dare answer and Nate looked uneasy at the apparent tension in the air but Jason happily did so for all of us.
"Of course you can silly!" He said grabbing Shane around his shoulder and ushering him closer to our little group.
As we made our way to the stage area, any time Shane got remotely close to me Benji would all of a sudden insert himself between the two of us preventing Shane from getting too close to me. Shane would then glare at Benji knowing he was doing this on purpose but Benji would just glare right back at him.
Thank god for Benji.
"Are you gonna sing Mitchie?" Lena asked softly looking up at me totally unaware of the tension brewing between Shane and Benji.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Shane breaking away from his war of death glares with Benji and look intently at me waiting for my response.
"Yes Lena. Would you like it if I sang a song tonight?"
Although I was answering Lena, my gaze remained on Shane who looked as if he wanted to say something back but then a booming voice broke through our silent reverie.
"Well, well! Lookie 'ere! The whole gangs 'ere!" Brown exclaimed wrapping one arm around me and the other around Shane.
"So should we be expecting another 'This Is Me' duet?" he asked looking between the two of us excitedly.
He had the same overjoyed look he had back at dinner that for a moment I felt guilty that I would have to tell him that we were going to be doing the farthest thing from that.
Ever since the day of that phone call I hadn't sang or played "This Is Me" without breaking down completely. Soon I just stopped playing it altogether. It was our song and I couldn't bring myself to perform it any more.
Facing Brown I put a small smile on my face to break the news to him.
"Not tonight Brown but we will both be performing. Just not together..." I explained hoping my answer wouldn't upset him too much.
He looked disappointed for a moment and seemed to mentally debate something in his mind but then quickly smiled again.
"That's alright! Shane and you will have plenty of other chances to perform together! Now I have to go announce you to the awaiting public!" Brown exclaimed pumping a fist in the air.
What?! Didn't I just make it clear that there would be no singing together with Shane?
"No Brown-" I began but he had already walked off leaving Shane and I staring after his retreating figure.
"Well that's Uncle Brown for you." Shane said sheepishly rubbing a hand on the back of his neck and looking nervously at the ground.
I managed a small smile back but then turned to stand by the stage entrance. I had to go and perform, not break down beforehand.
"So now… Give a big warm welcome for… MITCHIE TORRES!!!"
As Brown finished announcing me the crowds began cheering as I walked out onto the stage all smiles waving to the cheering crowd.
My smile grew wider when I spotted Caitlyn with Nate and Jason sitting towards the front near the stage. Lena and Benji, of course were with them. Benji looked annoyed to be stuck in the cheering crowd but grinned at me nonetheless when our eyes met. Lena stood on bleacher seat next to Benji clapping and trying to see over some of the taller people in front of her.
I waved to them before taking my seat at the piano. I was in the process of adjusting the mic when my gaze met his.
As if something pulled me to, my eyes met Shane's. He stood off to the side of the stage leaning against the wall with his arms crossed in front of him.
He smiled encouragingly at me that nearly sent my emotions haywire yet again.
Mentally I shook my head clear of those thoughts forcing myself to focus on my performance.
This was my moment and I'll be damned if I let Shane or my crazy feelings for him ruin it.
"This is something I worked on a little while back ago. It's called 'You're Not Sorry'. I hope you like it."
Although I had been addressing the crowd my eyes remained on Shane and I saw the curiosity spark up in his eyes as I said the name of the song.
This one is for you Shane.
My fingers automatically found the correct keys as I let the melody of the song take over me.
"All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down
And its taking me this long but baby I figured you out
And you think it will be fine again but not this time around
You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't want to hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I won't believe you baby like I did before
You're not sorry, no more, no, no
Lookin' so innocent
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cuz its worked each time before"
Without breaking the rhythm of the song I managed to lift my gaze and met Shane's. No matter how much it hurt, I knew I had to do this. I had been holding back all these emotions for so long unable to tell him and this was the only way I knew how. I forced my gaze to remain on him and poured everything I felt into the melody of the song letting it speak for me. It was time to let him go. His expression gave nothing away but his eyes told me everything as I sang the next part to him.
"But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't want to hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby like I did before
You're not sorry no, no, noo
You're not sorry no, no, noo"
I finally ripped my gaze away from Shane's and forced back the tears that threatened to spill over. However it was more like tears of relief rather than those of sadness. It was as if everything I had been holding in was finally out there in the open and it gave me a small measure of peace I hadn't felt in a long time. It felt good.
"You had me calling for you honey
And I never would've gone away no
You use to shine so bright
But I watched our love it fade
So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby like I did before
You're not sorry no, no, oh, oh
You're not sorry no, no, oh, oh
No, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no
No, woah, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, no
Oh, oh, oh, no
No, no, oh, no"
Incase you already didn't know, the song in the chapter is called "You're Not Sorry" by Taylor Swift. I was watching her appearance on CSI when I heard this song and immediately knew I had to use this song somewhere in my fanfic. LoLz* I think her lyrics are just amazing AND she actually writes them herself!
Originally I was going to have Mitchie sing an actual Demi song but so many other Camp Rock authors have done that already so I thought it would be cliché of me to do so as well and used Taylor instead.
Also I just wanted to take this time to give some shout out to some of my lovely and wonderful reviewers!
LaPushPackLover: Thank you for being there since I first decided to be crazy and post up this fanfic. I'm eternally grateful for your constant support.
Riley-the-Sadist848: Because of you I feel like I'm doing something right. I'm glad that you and many others took to liking Benji (Believe me, it was tons of fun coming up with a character who acts like a mini-Shane).
bintou10: Thanks for the info on the Jonas Brothers tickets. I swear I am going to give myself an ulcer before the week's over trying to get those tickets. LoLz*
xojonasbrothersxo: Thank you for your words of encouragement. They mean a lot and I need reviewers like you to constantly remind me to update on time.
If I didn't mention you it doesn't mean I don't appreciate your support as well but if you want a shout out you gotta let me know who you are by reviewing. Please people, I need to know if I'm going in the right direction or if I'm just totally off my rocker here with this fanfic. LoLz*
