Author's Notes/Announcement: There's a gift for you! [yes you!]

Bah! New chapter! Thank you for the reviews and we've got three or four new followers. Welcome you guys. Don't be shy. Also, I'm thinking a mere thank you isn't enough for the amount of love I'm receiving from you guys. So…..the end notes will have a little poll question according to which I will prepare a little treat for you guys.

This Chapter: …..I can't say much….just that I hope I've done it justice.

Disclaimer: Still haven't managed to conquer anything.

Enjoy!


Chapter 9: MAIL JEEVAS

Date: 24th April 2009. Time: 6pm

Matt paced around in his room grinning widely. His heart was beating as though he had run for miles. He could barely believe what was happening. But it was making him giddy with happiness. He still had nine hours to go before he met Mihael, he realized when he glanced at the wall clock hanging patiently on the wall of his hotel room, but oh he could barely wait.

Their conversation the night before had been like a miracle to Matt, who wasn't even sure if he believed in the god sent or god, for that matter. The fact that Mihael had actually seeked him out, typed his name on a Word Document, sent butterflies fluttering in Matt's belly and made him grin until his cheeks hurt.

After all, Mihael seeking him out meant that Mihael had obviously spent a good amount of time thinking about Matt, that Matt wasn't just someone looking up at a star without the star realizing that he exists. And even something as trivial as that, shockingly, even for Matt, was enough to send him into a swoon. He was convinced that he'd make a fool of himself when the time came to actually meet this weird crush of his.

They had exchanged information about which city they were currently located in and had decided on the time and venue of the rendezvous. Apparently, Mihael was in the same city as Matt and that made Matt wonder if he had ever crossed Mihael on the street….maybe if he would've bothered to go out. Matt had, however, lied about his location for fear that Mihael might think Matt was stalking him physically as well. He had simply named a near-by town when Mihael had asked and told Mihael that they could meet up whenever Mihael wanted.

Tomorrow. Matt thought smiling. He said tomorrow.

Tomorrow was here and Matt was on cloud nine.

It felt very much like a blind date to him. He tried several times to picture what Mihael would look like and only stressed himself by doing so. Mostly he pictured Mello. But he would shrug the thought thinking it was merely because he found Mello so painfully attractive. I just want him to look like Mello. He thought. But I'll be fine even if he doesn't...he most probably won't. Then he thought of the possibility that he might actually not find Mihael attractive. He didn't care either way. He looked into the mirror and figured it didn't matter one bit. I'm not exactly the hottest guy to walk on planet earth either.

He had thought of telling Mello that on this very night he was planning on sneaking out and going to see his friend. But he had finally decided against telling him anything for two reasons; He didn't know if Mihael would be comfortable with someone else knowing of their arrangement, even if it was someone Matt trusted, and because Mello was still pretty much Mimosa Pudica.

He had seen the blonde from his balcony in the afternoon walking out of the building and to the road, then heading back, then changing his mind, yelling at himself animatedly and then heading off to the road again, crossing it and disappearing around the bend.

Matt had chuckled thinking Mello looked a tad bit adorable doing whatever it was that he was doing. Then realizing what he had thought, he slapped himself and finally decided it must be because he was in such a good mood. But with time the wait for the time to pass was getting more and more agitating.

Matt walked out into the balcony and, lighting up a cigarette, he took a deep drag and watched the sun set.

Tonight is the night. He thought. Tonight I'll decide how I want to live the rest of my life.


Mello made his way back to the hotel as the sun set behind him, making sure his purchase was safe under his coat. He wasn't allowed to keep such things unless an assignment required it and this wasn't an assignment. This was personal.

He'd spent just the previous night planning for this night, the night that seemed to slowly spread all around him, and yet it felt like his entire life was leading up to this night, like this was a new beginning….or the end.

He'd turned himself in to the police before, messed with his gang's assignments when they weren't paying attention but this was direct violation. There was no turning back from here. He had decided to meet with Mail Jeevas, a hacker that he assumed was from some other gang.

He couldn't say he trusted this Mail character but he was sick and tired of living his life in circles, of being used and treated like dirt, of being merely an ass for people to kiss so he'd hand them a bag of dope, of being merely a set of holes for rich bastards to stick their filthy cocks in. He was sick and tired of his life and even if he was to die, he wanted his death to be worth remembering. He wanted to be feared, remembered, respected, echoed. He wanted to take as many with him as he could.

After all, he was going to need company in hell.

So he had violated the rule in the gang that stated that he wasn't allowed to carry guns at times when he wasn't out for an actual assassination and the rule that stated that he wasn't to meet with any person from another gang without supervision and lastly the rule that stated that he wasn't supposed to ditch his supervisor. The last one had been broken too often. It barely felt like a rule anymore, more like a formality.

He made his way to the reception in the hotel lobby.

"102." He said and took his keys from the receptionist.

What he didn't understand, however, was what Mail meant when he said, "we could both help each other escape our situations". He wondered if Mail was basically just another version of him, another person in somewhat the same situation. Either way he was determined to do something about his situation, anything.

Ding!

He walked into the elevator, checking himself in the mirror to make sure the bulky gun didn't look too obvious in his coat, just to make sure Jack wouldn't notice.

Ding!

He walked out only to find Matt waiting in the corridor.

"Hey there!" The redhead waved at him with a grin wide enough to turn his eyes into slits. "Thought I'd say hi when you come back."

"Are you stalking me?" Mello asked frowning at Matt's obviously giggly mood. With this Mail Jeevas incident, Mello had been questioning his level of privacy and felt odd and irritated at the slightest prying. He wondered just how many people were keeping an eye on him.

"No!" Matt laughed. "I was just waiting for you." Matt smiled the widest Mello had ever seen, making Mello blush slightly.

"Well here I am." He said frowning and spreading his arms.

Matt took the chance and hugged Mello, hard, as though he were a pillow. He kissed the blonde's cheek, trying not to feel like a hypocrite. He had decided he would talk to Mihael about Mello. He would make both Mihael and Mello a part of his plan. Both had become insanely important to him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mello yelled at the redhead, startled by the hug. He pushed Matt away, hoping Matt hadn't felt the gun in his coat. He had come inches from knowing Mello had one though.

"I'm in a good mood!" Matt grinned.

"I can tell." Mello frowned harder, if that was even remotely possible. "Any reason for this sudden bliss? Something to do with your friend perhaps?"

Matt ran a hand through his hair and chuckled. "Well, yes. He's talking to me again." He said, deciding against telling Mello about the rendezvous just yet. I'll tell him when it's over.

"Well, I told you so." Mello remarked trying to mask his bitter jealousy. He didn't have time to be jealous, he needed to go meet up with Mail Jeevas and having a gun on him was becoming a slight problem. "I've got to go, Matt. I want to sleep early tonight."

Matt thought it was odd that Mello said that. Mello was usually the last one to go to bed and the first one to rise. He stared at the blonde's back wondering if he had really felt something hard a little below his arm when he hugged Mello or if he was just imagining things.

Mello didn't look back when he shut the door. Pulling out the gun he stared hard at it. Will I use it if I need it? He wondered but he knew that if he was cornered he'd do anything to escape so Mail better be convincing lest he wants to breathe his final breaths in Mello's presence.

He looked at the wall clock. There was still time...a lot of time. Jack was in his room and the rest had been pretty much useless all day. They had a gig planned for the day after tomorrow but so far they hadn't gotten much practice done. Mello guessed they'd probably go out for a party tonight or hold one in the hotel. That's what they seemed to do when they were lazy.

Mello had already decided what he'd do. He couldn't use the excuse for buying the stash any longer sine he had already bought the stash for the week. He had decided, however, that he'd tell Jack that Ross had called him in an emergency. Jack wouldn't question it if Ross's name was used. And Mello could only hope that Ross wouldn't find out. It was a risk he was willing to take.


Date: 25th April 2009. Time: 3:30am

Matt was pissed.

It was three-thirty in the morning and foggy and Matt was pissed.

He was running towards the small stone bridge he had promised to see Mihael at but he was pissed….at himself.

I'm late! He thought, running in the cold wind, the coat collar around his jaw keeping him warm. I'm fucking late!

He could see the bridge but he couldn't make out if anyone was there.

His heart thumped harder in his chest. He wasn't sure if it was the effect of all the cigarettes he had smoked or the fact that he was going to see Mihael shortly, whatever the case, he was pissed, pissed because he was late to see Mihael. He heard clouds grumble above him and thought that it might rain but it didn't matter. Mihael would still be there. Would he? He thought. I'm half an hour late. Would he wait for me?

Matt slowed down a when he reached a little distance from the bridge and, panting, he doubled over taking deep breaths to repay the oxygen debt.

The bridge was an archway over a thin stream of water that spread into a large man-made lake. The city glowed orange in the distance. The small bridge itself was lit by four light poles on four stone pedestals that were, in thickness, twice the size of Matt and, in length, made it to his chest. On each side of the bridge was a thicket of trees that dimmed the light considerably and made shadows that danced on the bridge in the wind.

Matt saw a lone figure peering over the stone barrier on the other end of the bridge, back facing towards Matt. He couldn't make out much, just that Mihael was in black. The fog was messing with his goggles. He ripped them off and took a step closer with care. He could make out a black coat with fur on the collar...much like Mello's. Mihael turned his face at an angle looking out at the city and Matt stopped in his tracks. His eyes grew larger. It was Mello…not Mihael. The same hair, the same face, the same icy blue eyes.

He slowly walked backwards, hoping the blonde wouldn't hear his footsteps, and crouched behind the pedestal nearest to him.

What the fuck is he doing here? He hissed. Was he looking for me? He peered from the side of the pedestal. It really was Mello. He even had a bar of chocolate. Matt could make out its characteristic snap. Did Larry find out that I was gone and send him to find where I'm at? But if that was the case then how did he get here before me? He had already made it a point to tell the rest that he won't join them at the club using drowsiness as an excuse and he knew that Mello had another meeting with his boss tonight. Then why was he here? Ah fuck! Leave, Mello! Mihael won't show with him still here! What if Mihael mistakes him for Mail?

Matt decided he would wait here for any signs of Mihael and make sure that Mello doesn't see him.

Mello snapped another piece of chocolate and rolled it on his tongue. He's late, the twat. He thought looking down at his phone. Forty-five fucking minutes late. Could this be a trap? Should I have stayed at the hotel?

Time went by. Mihael was an hour late and Matt, stubbornly keeping hope, watched Mello look at his phone over and over. Is he waiting for someone? He thought. Funny, all three of us are waiting. Then it hit him. There were only two of them. No third person. Mello was waiting for someone that wasn't showing up and so was Matt. No, Matt, don't be silly. He shrugged the thought but it left a weird twinge in his heart.

Matt waited ten more minutes for someone to come and break the spell of the silence and stillness that had fallen over the night. But nothing changed only Mello's level of patience. Matt watched as he shifted from one foot to the other, turned to look at either sides of the bridge, frowned, kicked at the barrier and went back to staring angrily at the city. Could it be…? Matt pieced an odd sort of theory in his head.

He rummaged through his brain trying to piece his crazy theory together. He leaned his back against the pedestal ignoring the fatigue in his legs. He thought of how Mello had never mentioned parents or family. He thought of how in his second rant Mihael had described himself as a well-dressed blonde with hair that fell around his neck. Matt's head spun to look at Mello as if he had never seen the peddler before. His heart thundered in his chest. Mello's hair fell around his neck and was unmistakably golden.

"Chocolates!" Matt whispered thinking of how Mihael had mentioned that he had behaved at the party so he could get chocolates and time in the library. Mello was an obvious chocoholic and Matt couldn't believe he had never made the connection.

He felt like the ground was slowly slipping from under his feet and he tried to find something to hold on to. It can't be! He urged his brain to some other detail. There's got to be some other explanation.

Mihael had mentioned being in the line of drugs. Matt knew this by heart. How had he never made that connection either? He rubbed his temples, thinking harder to make sure he was right.

He thought about how adamant Mihael was to stand against the system he was serving and how Mello had told him that he didn't "give a shit" what they were huffing, how Mello rarely drank, never did drugs. He thought of how Mihael had contemplated suicide only a few days after Mello's incident with Joey and Larry. Coincidence…isn't it?

Matt thought back to the well-stylized cocky way in which Mihael had answered Gareth in his second rant and realized he could picture Mello doing just that.

"I thought you had gone and died." Mihael had said.

"That sounds like something Mello would say."

It was something Mello would say.

"It's him." He whispered to himself, forehead creasing with a mix of emotions, eye wide as plates, the tears in them were either of joy or shock, if there ever were such tears, he wasn't sure but they were there, sure as the moon in the sky, sure as the yearning ache in his chest, sure as the way the world seemed to have stopped in the moment of realization. His hands reached his lips. He thought of all he had read about Mihael, about Mello. All he had seen of Mello and it was so difficult to stop his heart from taking that plunge from want to need, long to crave, hurt to ache, attraction to lust, crush to love.

He turned around and peered at the blonde again. This time it wasn't like when he had first seen the blonde. He was still looking very much like a cat but now he saw not just the petite waist, the long tightly wrapped legs, the lean chest and the blue eyes but the heart and the mind that made all of them what they were. He saw the scars on Mello's wrists from when Larry, Joey or Jack must've bound him. He saw the blonde cry before his boyfriend urging him to be there for him. He saw the blonde yell for help after accidentally becoming the reason for someone's death. He pictured Mello at his laptop, pouring his soul out, alone in the dark. He saw a small back with the weight of the world.

He hushed his thoughts. His ears buzzed with the adrenaline, heart hammered deafeningly against his ribs, the goose bumps on his skin sent shudders down his back.

Here he was. The perfect being and Matt could barely believe he took so long to see it. There was no comparing Mello with anyone. Mello was Mihael. Mihael was Mello and Matt was madly in love.

He stepped out from behind the pillar, eyes still on Mihael….Mello. A part of him wanted to rush towards the blonde, hold him and not say a single word, let silence do the trick but this was complicated. And Mello must be getting impatient.

He slowly walked towards the blonde trying to phrase his story, trying to understand how to make Mello understand what he himself didn't know or wasn't sure of. There was only one way to make sure. He reached a few feet away from the blonde afraid that he would disturb the blonde's fragile world if he moved any closer.

"Mihael?" Mello heard a familiar voice behind him, calling out a name that had become a little hushed secret with him.

He turned around and found a tall redhead before him. He was wearing a red and black striped shirt with a fur-lined beige coat over it, worn out blue jeans and biker boots. The goggles that were usually perfectly placed on his face were in his hands. The blue of his eyes stared intently at Mello. But Mello's brows knit together with confusion on being unable to understand what Matt was doing there and why he knew…..

"You?" He asked eyes growing wide with horror. Is he really…..?

"It's me." Matt took a careful step towards Mello. "Mail…Jeevas."

Mello looked at the man before him from top to bottom and back up.

"How….I mean…" He shook his head. "What…What's going on?"

Matt walked closer in a hurry this time wanting to be by Mello's side so he wouldn't panic. But he already had. Matt stopped abruptly faced by the barrel of a gun. Mello's bar of chocolate fell to the floor.

"Who're you working for?" Mello inquired, anger rich in his icy eyes.

"No one." Matt replied calmly. He wasn't startled. He wasn't even angry at Mello for doubting him. Given the things Mello had been through, all the rough roads, Matt could never dream of ever really being angry at him ever again. He was determined to be by Mello's side no matter what. Mello could put him through whatever testing and interrogation he wanted to put him through. He'd bear with it with utmost pleasure.

"Who are you?"

Matt smiled tenderly at Mello. "I'm Mail Jeevas."

"No." Mello shook his head feeling the tears welling in his eyes. "You're…Matt." What's going on? The man before him was the only person he'd ever met that he'd ever been even remotely glad to meet. Was he also lying to me? Why is everyone always lying to me?

"Yes." Matt nodded taking a step closer to the blonde wanting to hold him. The barrel of the gun slammed softly into his chest. "I am Matt…Let me explain-"

"Explain this!" Mello yelled moving the gun to point between Matt's eyes. "Why did you lie to me?"

"I didn't." Matt swallowed trying to remain as unfazed as he possibly could with his heart hammering at the thought of the gun. "I didn't know, Mell. I didn't know it was you. If I would've known," He looked around hoping the calm cityscape in the back, the cold winds, the rumbling clouds, the thicket of trees, something would help him find the right words. "If I would've known I would've kept you with me ever fucking minute, every second-"

"Don't try to sweet talk me." Mello's voice shook. He saw sincerity in Matt's eyes but he wasn't giving up just yet. He wasn't prepared to blindly trust anyone. "What are you?"

"I'm an orphan." Matt responded instantly. "I've been a hacker for ages….for longer than I've been a guitarist. I do it for fun…just the way I do everything else…for no real purpose…just for the fuck of it. It's usually not like this, Mell. It's usually just…" He wished for words to fall out of thin air. "Usually I find…porn or personal pictures or little nothings. I never expected to find anything this serious. I stumbled upon you and that's it."

Mello realized Matt wasn't lying. If Matt wanted to, he could come up with a better lie, something more believable than the long list of coincidences surrounding their current situation. He lowered his gun but not his guard.

Matt watched Mello rub his temples and do a little turn. He stood still knowing the blonde still had him under scrutiny.

"And what were you hoping to achieve by asking me to come here?" Mello asked. Matt being a mere guitarist and a hacker with no affiliation to any gang whatsoever meant one thing, that Mello had been wrong about Mail. Suddenly Mello was grateful he hadn't said a word to Ross or Gareth about Mail. Matt had stumbled upon a mess too big for him. He can't be a part of this.

"I wanted…" Matt struggled knowing that most of his motive came from being worried about Mihael. "I wanted to see you…give you whatever I could."

Something snapped in Mello's head. His head spun to look at the redhead. "How, pray tell are you going to manage that?" he barked. "Are you going to fix me? Fix this mess? Can you, Matt?" He stepped closer to the redhead rage boiling in his eyes. "Can you fix what I've become? Can you fix what I couldn't?"

"I never said I could fix you." Matt said softly. "I don't think you need fixing. I think you're perfect." Mello stepped backwards, taken aback by the words that had flown out of Matt's mouth without a single moment of hesitation. It was as if his words were set in stone to him, unfazed and unchangeable. "I only want to give you what you want…an escape route."

"Escape route?" Mello's eyes narrowed. "How're you going to give me that? How am I going to escape?"

"Run away with me, Mello." Matt's words hit Mello like a crashing wave, leaving him numb and thoughtless. "I'm leaving and I want you to come with me."

For a while there was silence. Mello simply stared at Matt with eyes the size of cannon balls. His limbs felt numb and limp. He tried to wrap his head around all the surprises of one night. His neck was growing hot but he wasn't sure if it was anger, craving, attraction or just the adrenaline. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't understand what turn his life was trying to take.

It was like life had opened a door in his face, a door he wasn't familiar with. Everything the door held was shrouded in darkness, save the figure of the broad shouldered, determined, kind-faced boy that stood before him and even the boy was a shadowy figure he barely knew. The what-ifs of the unseen things beyond made him skeptical.

He looked back at the things on his side of the door. There was sex, drugs, lies, betrayal, scum, filth and whatnot. But they were things Mello had gotten used to, become familiar with.

"That's your brilliant plan?" His voice choked in his throat. "Run away with you? That's what you want?"

"It's the only thing I can do." Matt pleaded. "I'm sorry. I wish there was more-"

"This isn't less!" Mello yelled agitated with the redhead. "This isn't less, Matt. This is too much. It's madness!" His voice echoed in the night. He let the echoes fade. Silent drizzle began to fall over them. "You want to give up all you've got and leave? With me? What for, Matt? What for? Why do you want it?"

"Because…" Matt tried to phrase the right words. "Because I've never done anything I wanted. Because I want to start over. Because I need to make a difference…" His words choked in his throat. He tried swallowing the lump, tried to break free from the person that he was trying so hard not to be anymore, tried to be brave. "Because I love you."

Another silence ensued. The drizzle had dampened Mello's leather and fur. The fur on Matt's coat and his hair was also adorned with little droplets of water, like dew on petals. Mello let the silence linger. He tried to come to terms with all he had found out so far. About the path life was taking him on and about Matt...Mail….the hacker….the guitarist…but eventually….the orphan. But then this? All of this was too much for one night. He thought back to what he felt about Matt, about how content he had been with knowing he hadn't fallen for a selfish person again, about the way he had been trying to bury his feelings for days now.

"Your friend…." Mello whispered. "You said you loved your friend."

"I was talking about Mihael." Matt replied. His head was beginning to feel tired. He himself had just figured out the strange turn his life had taken, the odd things about his life he himself wasn't aware of, and was finding it tiresome to have to explain it to Mello.

"And you said there was someone else."

"I was talking about you…..Mello, you….not Mihael you."

Mello cocked a brow, bewildered by the strangeness of the scenario. "You were confused between….me and….me?"

"I guess that's the gist of it." Matt took the moment to lean against the barrier and pull out a cigarette. It was not only long overdue but also pretty much a requirement at this point. Taking a deep drag of the cigarette, he ran a hand through his hair and couldn't help but smile a little at the irony of things, the coincidences, the peculiarity. Was it fate? Destiny? He wondered. What happened here? Why did it happen? But those questions were a mere marvel at the happenings of life and the universe, the beauty of existence itself. The result, however, was that Matt was content in that moment. It felt as though he had achieved something, been through something, experienced divinity, attained a story to tell….like an achievement unlocked.

"I'm so glad it's you….I always pictured you." He said softly and looked up at the blonde. "Not that way!" he remarked, shaking his hands when he noticed how the blonde's brows moved further up his fringe. "I just always pictured you when I thought of Mihael…..I can't believe I was dumb enough never to see it. The signs were always before me. The similarities are right there. I saw. I just never looked." Just like I heard you but never listened. Why? Why do I keep failing you? If I would've figured it out sooner, perhaps all that mess with Larry, Joey and Maddie wouldn't have happened….

Mello gawked at the red head rapidly growing wetter in front of him, the damp cigarette, threatening to go out, raising smoke from Matt's lips.

He wanted to be there for me? He thought. He was looking for me? I was right there and yet he searched. He knew what I was and yet he cared? Wasn't he afraid that I might kill him for knowing too much?

"You came here and wanted to run away with me, despite knowing that if I wanted, I could kill you." He tried to keep his voice steady, tried not to let fear become known. But it was a thing with Mello. He feared anyone who was kind to him. He couldn't help it. The only people who had ever been kind to him had ruined his life. "Do you trust me with your life?"

"Yes. I trust you enough to know you won't kill me unless I intended to hurt you. And I trust myself enough to know I'd never give you a reason to doubt me." Matt replied without hesitation. "And you haven't killed me yet. Does that mean you trust me?"

Does it? Mello wondered. Do I? His shoulders slacked as he realized what he lacked. He looked yearningly at Matt, feeling the envy brew inside of him. He was jealous of Matt, jealous that Matt still had what it took to trust someone.

"I wish I had the courage to trust someone, Matt." Mello leaned his back against the barrier beside Matt. "I doubt I'll ever be able to trust anyone."

"Does that mean you're going to kill me?" Matt wondered out loud. For some reason, he didn't feel bad about the thought. He didn't feel like he would mind giving Mello his life but he would prefer to live and run away with Mello.

"No." Mello replied frowning slightly. "What kind of a heartless jackass would that make me?"

Matt chuckled. "I always thought you were a little bit of a heartless jackass."

Mello smiled, staring at the steadily falling drops of water on the granite of the road. "Perhaps, not to that extent…..I don't mind breaking your bones though."

Matt scanned Mello's smile from the corner of his eyes. It wasn't that he wasn't aware that he had not long ago confessed his love. He merely didn't want to think about it. He was very aware of it. His heart was in agony from the delay in the answer. He knew Mello hadn't said anything in reply yet, neither a yes nor a no. What does that mean? But whatever it meant he still couldn't deny how madly he was beginning to feel for the blonde. Mello was inches away from him and even that was proving to be enough to make his hair stand on its edge.

He turned to face Mello. "Run away with me, Mell." He brought it up again. "Let's go somewhere far away from this, from them."

The blonde's brows creased and he let his gaze fall on his gloved hands, wondering if the hands that had caused so much bloodshed, addiction, death deserved to be cleansed from their sins.

"Then what, Matt?" He asked in a whisper. "What will happen once we've gone away? Is life going to change? Whatever will happen to me will happen. What about you? You're not a criminal. Why're you dragging yourself into this life?"

"Mello you taught me to do what I believed was right." Matt retorted. "This is right."

"This is madness!" Mello cried punching his own thigh and leaving the railing. "Matt….I'm…grateful." He stood to face Matt. "I'm grateful that you care. I'm grateful that there's someone out there who would want to give so much away for my sake." He took Matt's face in his hands, looked into his eyes hoping he'd see just how much passion was running through his veins, just how difficult it was for him to hold himself back. "It's enough for me to know that someone cares. That's enough for me to live." He wrapped his arms around Matt's broad shoulders leaning into his chest. It felt like home, like Mello belonged there. He wanted to break down and bawl like a child, shed all his fears and come clean of all his baggage. But he stopped the brimming tears in his eyes from overflowing and pulled away before Matt could hold him there. "But I can't put you through this. I can't bear the responsibility of ruining your life."

Matt stared at Mello, letting his statement seep into his brain. The blonde pulled away from him taking warmth with him. Matt watched as Mello took a few steps backwards and then turned to leave.

"Larry won't let me quit." Matt called out. Mello turned around to look back at him. Matt was glad he had the blonde's attention for a while. "They said they hired me to look good in front of the public. I'm just a marketing strategy. It's got nothing, or little, to do with having a talent. You taught me about voicing my opinions, doing what I feel is right, being myself. I did. I said I wasn't okay with the way things were in the band." He closed the gap between them a little. "Larry says he won't let me leave until I've paid him what I owe him."

"And he isn't wrong, Matt." Mello responded in a hushed voice, careful not to hurt Matt. "If you signed a contract, Matt, then you should at least wait till you've repaid him. I talked about being yourself, Matt. Yes, I did. But I never said that you should unnecessarily break the law. Look," Mello raised hands to get Matt's attention. "I'm not a strong advocate of the law or the system. The system is fucked and I can see that but think about the consequences. If you get caught you'll spend the rest of your life in jail but if you stay and wait it out you'll earn your freedom. Running and hiding for the rest of your life isn't called freedom."

"Mello I was fifteen when I signed that contract." Matt tried explaining. "I was fifteen when Larry first got me drugs. I'm not saying I wasn't at fault. But he pushed drugs to a minor. Am I not right for wanting to be away from that?"

"Just wait it out, Matt." Mello urged. He knew Matt had a point but he didn't want Matt to have the life of a fugitive. "Then you'll be free. Don't make any unnecessary-" Mello's eyes widened with realization. He gawked at Matt. "You said you were fifteen?"

"Yeah." Matt frowned. "What about it?"

"That makes you a minor." Mello started.

"I know-"

"Meaning your contract was void." Mello grabbed Matt's shoulders and shook him. "A contract is void when signed by a minor."

Matt stared at Mello, eyes growing wide as plates. Did Larry know? He thought but he knew the answer. The man was used to signing contracts and making deals. Of course he knows. Was he trying to fool me? Does this mean that there was never an investment in me? That he simply made me earn to repay for something that was never spent? That I was basically just earning and he was eating my money away? That there is no end to this? Wasn't this like slavery?

Mello looked at Matt pleadingly. "I'm sorry Matt." He understood the pain of being cheated like that, waking up one morning and realizing you've been living a lie for so long. And this is what Mello meant by the pains of being an orphan. This is what Mello thought was true loneliness, when people feigned compassion and treat one like a fool, like a lesser being, merely because they, the orphans, didn't have anyone to guard them from the evils of the world. "But…this means you can leave." He smiled at Matt. "You can leave without having to run. You can go to court."

"No." Matt shook his head, feeling the hot tears brim in his eyes. Before this moment he had never really felt the pain of being an orphan. He always just kept himself too busy to really feel it. It was always an ever-present pain that he never allowed to come to the forefront. When he was younger he'd say, "who needs parents when you've got video games?". Growing up, there became several variations of this statement. One of which was, "who needs parents when you've got Larry?"

He knew Larry wasn't the best person on earth. He was always aware of that, and with the incident with Mello and when he found out his own worth in the band he had found out it was merely a business. Larry was a mere businessman but at least he had found Matt useful. Now, however, it was different. Now it was obvious that Larry wasn't even a businessman but a cheat, a cheat who fooled an anti-social fifteen year old orphan into a life too fast for him to keep track of. Did he look down on me? Matt wondered. Did he ever laugh at me and think, "what an idiot"? Suddenly all of Mello's rants weren't someone else's experiences but his own.

"Matt?" Mello took Matt's face in his hands.

"I can't leave Mell." Matt said, the hot tears rolling down his cheeks. "I can't prove it." Mello's eyes widened. The hair on his body stood in attention. "I can't prove that I was fifteen. I've never had any proper paperwork, besides the contract."

"Your name." Mello urged on. "What's your real name?"

"Mail Jeevas." Matt answered, exhausted by all the novelty of the situation. He already knew the way Mello was taking the conversation and that it would be another dead end. "But I signed as Matt."

"There." Mello smiled hoping his smile would ease Matt's suffering a bit. "You signed under a false name. That's another reason for the contract to be void."

"Mello…It won't work." Matt's eyes were red by now, forehead creasing with self-pity. "I've never registered myself as Mail." He half regretted all the ambiguity surrounding his own name..his own history. It was as if his own self was abandoning him. "But if they follow my records in the orphanage they'll find Matt."

Mello stared as Matt reduced to tears and fell into his arms. Mello felt urgency rising within him. He could see himself in Matt now. He could see just how stuck they both were. It was making his chest tighten and ache. The system, that was supposed to be made to protect people like him and Matt, was what wrapped tight reigns around their necks. However, those responsible for putting them there, roamed free. Where was compassion? Where were the human rights? Where was God?

"Mello?" Matt pulled away from Mello, wiping his tears, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "Help me."

Moral: Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans. [John Lennon]


Author's Notes: And yeah we're done…..with this chapter. Thank you for reading and now for the little thank you gift I talked about. I've decided to draw an illustration for this story as a gift to you guys but since it is a gift and your choice matters I listed down a few scenes from the story and you guys can choose which one you guys like best and would like to see drawn. All you have to do is go to my profile page and vote.

I'll leave the poll on there for a week [i.e. till the 1st of November] and will only start working on the picture after the 4th of November [once I've started a new semester in my university and gotten used to the timetable].

The picture would be posted up on my tumblr and deviantart [links to both are in my profile]. When I post the picture up, I'll announce it here. So it's not necessary for you to subscribe to either of my accounts. If you want to, however, I won't stop you. This is a gift for you, the readers, so I'd really appreciate it if you take the time to vote.

Anyways, thank you very much for reading and, of course, review if you feel like saying anything. I'd appreciate it very much. :)