AN: One more chapter to go here! Then, I'll start the new story with Neota sometime next week. And if you haven't bought Dark Horizons yet, what are you waiting for? =D The only acceptable answers are "payday" and "the paperback copy because the cover is gorgeous."
www dot amazon dot com/Dark-Horizons-ebook/dp/B00IP1EQIS/
www dot smashwords dot com/books/view/413096
. . .
Chapter Nine:
Eventually, Tevos felt Aria's heartbeat separate from hers. Their breathing settled into different patterns, and she relaxed the tight grip of her fingers on the back of Aria's neck. She still did not understand what had come over her, what had come over them. The past two days felt like a dream and a nightmare wrapped together, and she was still reeling from the vivid images she had seen in Aria's mind.
The last traces of the meld flickered down to nothing, and Tevos let out a soft sigh of loss as Aria pulled out of her. She stared at the ceiling for several long minutes, waiting for Aria to say something. Anything. Fear crept into her heart, fear that the flicker of warmth and affection she had felt at the very core of Aria's being had only been her own wishful thinking again. But she had been so certain…
Aria flipped over onto her back, tucking her hands behind her head and letting her boots hang off the edge of the mattress. "I was trying to buy you breakfast," she said at last. Tevos tilted her head to look at her as she spoke. Somehow, Aria was even more attractive with her clothes pulled out of place and streaks of ash running down the closest sleeve of her jacket. "I thought you'd be hungry when you woke up. By the time I got back…"
She did not need to say any more. Tevos remembered what she had seen in Aria's mind. She tried to will away the picture of the burning building, but the echo of the warning sirens still throbbed in her head. Instead, she forced herself to recall the other memory: Aria standing at the counter of Apollo's cafe, admiring the barista in her usual nonchalant way as she placed her order. No - orders. That pastry had clearly been for her.
A hard lump rose in Tevos's throat, and her eyes stung as she tried to swallow it down. Aria was not usually a considerate person. Her needs always came first. Tevos had never minded, since Aria's desires usually met needs of her own, but the thought of Aria buying her breakfast broke some part of the unspoken contract between them, their silent agreement to use each other for sex and nothing more. Even the comfort that Aria had offered her after the destruction of Thessia was uncharacteristic.
For just a moment, she lost herself in an impossible fantasy. She pictured a home on Thessia, one with a garden. She imagined Aria holding her from behind, tracing the woven bracelet that circled her wrist. She dreamt of joyful laughter, the sound of running footsteps, a small body rushing into her arms. She wanted it so badly that her chest ached, but she knew that none of the things she wanted could ever come to pass. Thessia was in ruins, and Aria would never allow herself to be tied down to anyone. Tevos wished that she had never realized she was in love. Perhaps it would have been easier not to know.
She pushed herself into a sitting position, trying to clear her head. She could not read too much into Aria's behavior. A few kind gestures did not mean that Aria was developing feelings for her, and even if she was, feelings were not enough to sustain a relationship. She and Aria had different lives and different priorities. Aria was still the Queen of Omega, the ruler of the largest criminal empire in the galaxy. She was still the asari councilor. With everything falling to pieces around them, it was easy to pretend that the future did not matter, but it was just an illusion. If they weren't all harvested by the Reapers, the same obstacles that had stood in their way before would remain.
When she felt Aria shift on the cot beside her, Tevos turned back to look over her shoulder. She suddenly remembered that Aria was waiting for some kind of response. "Breakfast in bed was a nice thought," she murmured. "I'm… sorry that things didn't work out."
"You're not the one who blew up the entire fucking Presidium." Aria sat up and moved a little closer to her. "I always hated the Citadel, but now that it's gone… part of me almost misses it." She narrowed her eyes. "Tell anyone, and I'll make sure you can't sit down for a month."
Tevos's lips pulled into a weak smile. Even though her feelings had changed, at least Aria was still the same. "It would be worth it." Another of Aria's memories rose to the front of her mind, and her smile disappeared as she watched Lidanya writhe against the hard metal wall of the ship. She lowered her gaze into her lap and twisted both of her hands together, smoothing her dress back over her thighs. "Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks so."
She regretted the words as soon as she said them. Aria had given her no commitments, had made no promises to be faithful. It was unfair to judge her by different standards now simply because her own feelings had grown stronger. She forced herself to look up and meet Aria's eyes, and was surprised by the confusion she saw there. "Why do you care about Lidanya? You weren't the only one who wanted an end-of-the-universe fuck."
"I don't care," Tevos lied. "I was just… surprised you found the time, or the privacy."
Aria did not look convinced. "Yeah, well, she was a lot less opposed to telling me where your room was after she came. Not that she needed to. That cute assistant of yours found me a few minutes later and brought me right up here."
"I don't care, Aria," Tevos insisted, doing her best to force a neutral expression. "You can join with whomever you like, and so can I." But she knew she wouldn't, especially not after this - and that was assuming she managed to survive the next several weeks.
"You know, for a politician, you're an awful liar." Aria reached out to touch her shoulder, and Tevos flinched. She was not sure whether to pull away or lean closer. "If it bothers you when I fuck other people, I'll do it when you're not around. Just… don't read too much into it."
At first, Tevos thought Aria was joking. Teasing her. But when several seconds passed and she saw nothing but sincerity in Aria's face, she felt her heart beat faster. It was no commitment, no declaration of love, but coming from Aria, it was monumental. Even if Aria was not in love with her, even if Aria was incapable of being the bondmate she secretly wanted, she did care. She cared enough to sacrifice something just to make her happy. It was more than Tevos had ever expected.
"That isn't necessary," she said, hoping that Aria would not hear the break in her voice.
Aria shrugged. "I know." She pushed off the mattress and stretched, sliding her arms through the sleeves of her jacket and rotating her shoulders a few times. The corset came next, and Tevos could not help staring as each new strip of bare flesh was revealed. "So, do you have a shower in this tiny box or what?"
"I assume so." Tevos gestured at the far corner of the room. "I didn't bother to look, but there's a door."
Aria stripped off her gloves and shoved her pants down over her hips, leaving everything in a haphazard pile on the floor. Once she was completely naked, she sauntered over in the direction Tevos had pointed. Then, she turned to look back over her shoulder. "Well?"
Tevos stood up and unhooked the back of her dress. She needed a shower, and if it meant she would get to admire Aria's wet, smooth limbs under the warm spray, and perhaps even convince her to work out one of the knots behind the wing of her shoulderblade, that was just a bonus. She would deal with her feelings later. For now, it was enough to know that Aria felt something for her. Perhaps it wasn't love, but it was the only thing that had brought her any happiness over the past several days. She would take whatever Aria had to give, even if it wasn't everything she wanted.
