Chapter 9, I Bruise Easily.


Another day, Damon thinks to himself while settling deeper into the sofa. He wishes with all of his might there'd be a difference today. That today, she'll call him, or come to see him, or even, at the very least, send him a small text message. Heck, even just one emoji from her would be a monumental difference to him.

But, from what he's seeing, it's just another waiting day for him, and it appears, that there's going to be little to no difference between this waiting day and the previous waiting day. He'll keep waiting and waiting, and waiting some more, but the person that he wants to reach out to him, won't do that, and the day will go down just as the three others have.

If only-

Speedily, Damon shuts off that line of wishing, when he hears the sound of a car pulling just outside the house. He jumps out of the sofa speedily too, but the speed with which he makes it to the door, makes it look like he got out of the sofa in slow motion. As fast as he gets to the door, however, he doesn't immediately close his hand around the knob to open it, and thus, stand in waiting for Bonnie to make it to the door.

What he does do, is press both of his palms on the door, and then moves his head closer to the wooden material of that same door, adjusting his head just right, so that his ear is pressed against it, to hear her begin to approach the house.

It's her, it's Bonnie, it's his Bonnie.

He knows it's her, because he knows the sound of her car. It may be a strange thing to know about someone, but he does know it, and he will never forget it. When he was younger, he used to study people's shoe prints, in the case that he would be able to tell who had visited the house while he was away. Back in those days, sand was much more abundant than the scare luxury of firm floorings. In that way, he's learned, over time, to use specific methods and means to identify who was who. In addition to his vampiric skills, of course.

It's really her, he feels himself calm more than he's been able to feel in three days. Just when he believed that this day wouldn't be any different of a waiting day, she surprises him by coming to see him. He'd just about been on the verge of thinking that she would up and leave to go back to that other guy, Enzo.

It would've been hard for him, though, to think that she'd happy without him. While he does want her to be happy, at the same time he selfishly doesn't want her to be happy with another man, not while he's alive to know about it. He acknowledges that it's possessive of him, but he never contends with his heart to feel otherwise.

He hears her footsteps get closer and closer, signaling how much closer to him she's coming, and instead of keeping in that same position of listening for her approach, he can't ignore the itch in his hands, to grab hold of the knob and pull it back, neither can he rid his body of the itch to move and make way for the door to swing back. All at once, he comes to himself from the previous itching, as he stands in the doorway and his eyes fall on Bonnie just a few steps away from where he is.

'Bonnie,' he says her name gratefully.

He can't help it, he's over the solar system relieved to see her. Her being here, says so much to him, that he can't hold himself back enough to wait for her to complete her journey to meet him at the door. Using his supernatural speed, he moves to come to a stand right in front her.

'Hi,' he greets warmly.

If only that word carried more syllables than just that one, so he could say it more with feeling and overdose it with as much gratitude as he feels right now. He really needs for her to know that this, her coming to see him, means the world to him.

'Hi, Damon,' she greets back politely, but standoffishly as well.

Although he does catche the not-so-welcoming greeting, he doesn't manage to catch himself in time, to prevent himself from stepping into her, thrusting himself into her personal space, and then surrounding all of her with his arms, to gather her to him.

Like that, with his arms around her and her head under his chin, as she pulls in a breath of surprise, he lets out a breath of his own, in expression of how much this means to him. Words can't express just how much this means to him, and he's starting to believe that his actions aren't properly expressing his feelings either. He could hold her much tightly than this, and he could let out more than countless breaths of relief, but it still feels like that wouldn't do his emotions justice. Maybe he should return to using his words.

'It's so good to see you, Bon,' he lets her know from his heart, saying those words in a massaging tone next to her ear.

'Damon,' she starts apologetically, 'I just came to tell you that Lucy needs our help, and I told her that you'd help.'

In other words, she's clearly telling him to let her go of her, because what he believes she's here for, and what she's actually here for, are two very separate things, and he shouldn't get ahead of himself, and assume something that isn't.

Oh, he feels something of a sting in his body, his heart particularly. Wow… uh…

From feeling like this day would be exactly like the days before it, to being impatient to seeing her face once he heard her car pull up, and then to being immeasurably relieved that this day does mark the difference after all, Damon (after realising Bonnie's warning) finally reaches the culmination of all that he's felt until now.

Swiftly, he removes his arms from her, taking several steps back from her in the process. No one can accuse him of saying that he doesn't want to be near her, or that he's upset with her for telling him the truth, which is the total opposite of what he expected to hear from her, it's that he suddenly feels like he's underwater. As per the culmination of his feelings, he feels like he's really submerged in the depths of thick volumes of water, that are heavily pressing and keeping him down without mercy.

'I didn't…' Bonnie tries to say something only to pause before she fully says anything comprehensive.

'It's okay,' he gently brushes off. 'You don't… Um… I get… It's not your fault.'

He tried to tell her that it's all right, she doesn't have to explain anything to him, or even that it's not her fault that he jumped to the wrong conclusion for seeing her, but he couldn't really make the full sentences come out the way that he'd intended them to. However, even without completing his sentences, she evidently grasps his meaning, because she carefully nods in a way that says she understands what he didn't get to say.

'Do you want to come in?' he asks gesturing to the open door behind him.

Inviting her in, is the immediate soothing balm (in the form of a distraction) that he could come up with, to partially fix himself internally. Of course, if she just told him what he wants to hear, or even gave him a chance so that they can have a proper talk, he wouldn't need to distract himself from the evident truth that she doesn't want him anymore.

'No,' she shakes her head, 'I can't. I just came for… Um, I'll text you the meeting place.'

No, he begins to internally panic. She can't leave just yet. She doesn't understand, she kicked him out of her life so suddenly without a real solid reason, leaving him craving for her, so how can she expect to just leave him out here with no consequence? He has to find a way to make her stay, even just for five more minutes.

'Are you sure you don't want to come in?' he presents the offer to her again.

Just for the slightest second, her face morphs to a concerned expression, but that expression quickly wipes off her face to make way for a determined one.

'Coming in won't change anything, Damon,' she tells him evenly.

The way she says it, anyone would swear that she has no lingering feelings for him whatsoever. She makes it sound as though she has completely gotten over him in the three days that passed. She makes it sound as though she hasn't been unable to sleep for breaking off what they didn't even really start. But he knows better, he knows her.

Thinking this, he, without thinking with his head as he is supposed to do, takes two steps to her, as urged by his heart to do. As his heart reasoned before making him get closer to her, if he is closer to her, he could do more of an effective job of convincing her that he knows her, that she shouldn't bother trying to make him think that she is over him.

He gets closer to her, that he does, however, just as he does, she steps away from him. He can't be sure if it's from fear of being pulled back into their relationship, or if it's simply because she doesn't want to be close to him, he is only sure of one thing about her stepping back from him, and that is, that it hurts him.

'I have to get to work,' she tries to say her goodbye.

She can say her goodbye all that she wants, but he really can't just let her leave. She came to him for goodness' sake, he doesn't know when else this type of lunar eclipse will happen for them, so he has to take full advantage of her being here. One way of doing that, is preventing her from leaving just yet.

'What did I do?' he blurts out as a last resort type of question.

Never mind that it makes him sound desparate and primitive, he couldn't care less about that. If it gets him the proper audience with his girl, then it can be out of this world loony, for all he cares.

Sporting a genuine frown, she asks, 'When?'

It has to be something that he did. She can't just have decided that she doesn't want to be with him anymore, it has to be something that he did. Obviously, he did something, and that something pushed her away from him.

'I don't know,' he shrugs as he answers. 'I just know I must've done something, right?'

Apart from his treatment of her in the days before they agreed to start seeing each other romantically, he wants to hear her confirm that he did something, that's the reason for her pushing him away from her. It's important that he hears that come from her mouth.

'Why do you say that?' she wants to know, her frown deepening.

'You're separating yourself from me,' he explains his reasoning, 'because clearly I messed up somewhere.'

He must've done something that is not out in the open between them, that is keeping her away from his side. If only she would tell him what it is, so that he's in on it too, because for now, he just feels like he's locked out of a house for a reason that he doesn't have.

'So,' Bonnie lets out testingly, 'what do you think you did?'

'I don't know,' he cries.

How is he supposed to know? He thought they were doing fine, but apparently, they haven't been doing fine. Somewhere between the night and the morning of their real time as a couple, he must've done something that didn't sit right with her, and that's what he doesn't know.

'I don't know what I did,' he continues to insist. 'You need to tell me, so I can fix it.'

Bonnie, after studying him for a moment, and then letting out a small joyless laugh, says, 'I just can't be with you, Damon. It's just like that.'

No, he can't accept that. It's not just like that, because if it had been just like that, she wouldn't have agreed to be with him in the first place. Gosh, doesn't she see how much she means to him? He's had a small lick of a taste of what it would be like to be with her, and he's already addicted to that ambience. How can she not see that about him?

'But couldn't you have decided that before this?' he wonders, hoping to trap her in her own denial. 'Before us?'

To that, she apparently doesn't have an answer, because she remains absolutely still, only looking at him. Because of that response from her, although he got the message loud and clear the first time, he ignores it, to step closer to her again. Fortunately, she doesn't move back this time.

'Bonnie, I'm really trying, okay?' he confesses, placing all of his feelings into his tone. 'The only thing that's stopped me from bothering you this week, is hope that you'll see how serious I am about not hurting you. I haven't been pushing you to get our relationship back on track, because I don't want you to think that I don't respect what you want. But, Bonnie, please just…'

Again, even once he's paused, she's completely silent, not even giving away a flicker of an emotion on her face. She must not understand how hard it's been for him to not go after her, as he is so typically used to doing. She must not understand that he meant it when he said that he would never hurt her again. Because if she did, she would say something, she would give him something.

'Just tell me what I did wrong,' he heartily begs, 'so I can fix it.'

Bonnie still doesn't give him an answer outside of looking at him, not breaking eye contact with him. If her eyes said more than her silence does, he would look to her eyes for answers on what he should do to fix whatever mess he's landed them in. But as it is, her eyes don't say more, because he's looking into them, and they hold no more words than her silence does.

Starting to feel himself growing desperate, he asks, 'We can't even talk, Bonnie?'

With her eyes, she says nothing, and with her mouth, she says nothing either. How is he supposed to know anything, if she won't give him something to be heard?

'It's just too soon, Damon,' she finally tells him. 'It's just too soon. Maybe at some point we'll be okay again, but right now it's just too soon.'

To put emphasis on her words, she holds her left hand between them, as the sign that he should one, let it go, and two, keep where he is, because getting even closer to her, will make no more of a difference than his questions and explanations did.

'Bonnie,' he begs, making her name sound like a loving caress, 'don't… please.'

'You said you respect what I want,' she reminds him. 'This is what I want. Don't make it harder for yourself.'

Harder for himself? Like she can stand there and tell him that she isn't going through what he's going through? That she doesn't want him back? That she doesn't love him? But okay, he'll swallow what he wants, to give her what she 'apparently' wants, because he believes that in doing the opposite, he will hurt her. He slowly nods, programming himself to accept this as it is, even though he would rather not.

'So, um,' he chooses to move on to another topic, 'where's your… Where's Lucy?'

'She's at home,' is her answer.

'Is it okay if I go to see her, right now? Just to catch up on what's going on.'

He might as well just go to see the girl, since he doesn't have anything better to do. Plus, in seeing Lucy, he could talk to her like he's been wanting to do for the past days.

'Um, yeah,' she nods her answer. 'It's no problem, you can see her. Thanks for agreeing to help.'

'Sure,' he nods again.


26Chapters


He left it alone for three days, but the truth is, it's been eating away at him and he can't find a way to get over it, without talking to Lucy about it. He'd rather he didn't have to question her, but his restless mind won't stop making up all kinds of reasons for Bonnie rejecting him, that he's not comfortable with having.

He probably shouldn't have let himself into Bonnie's house without knocking, but seeing as Bonnie did give him permission to come and see Lucy, he doesn't really see the need to knock, he only heads right into the house, shutting the door behind him.

'Lucy Bennett?' he loudly calls, as he steps further into the living room.

Whether she'd been on her way to the living room, or she's been expecting him, Damon can't confirm, he only knows that she joins him in the living room much sooner than he expected her to. Although, from the way she casually gives him a smile and then sinks into a sofa, he'll have to guess that she had been expecting him.

'Damon Salvatore,' she acknowledges, gesturing for him to follow her lead. 'Sit.'

'No thanks,' he declines.

It isn't that he doesn't want to sit, it's more that he, well, he doesn't know where he stands with Lucy. Personally, he has nothing against her, not since she helped them that lifetime ago, but he can't be sure that Lucy doesn't have anything against him. For all he knows, she could have it in for him badly, and if that's the case, her telling Bonnie that being with him is a mistake, would be quite warranted.

'Bonnie says you're in a situation,' he lets her know, 'that's why I'm here.'

Lucy, in response to that, nods, albeit sceptically, and then goes on to say, 'And also talk about Bonnie, right?'

'Yeah, and that,' he agrees with a faint smile.

'Sit down, Damon,' Lucy advises while leaning forwards in her seat.

This invitation, he doesn't let up. In fact, instead of taking a seat across Lucy, he goes right to the sofa where Lucy is, and then takes his place next to her. If she is the demon between him and Bonnie, then he'll have to confront his demon from nearby, not a distance.

'So,' she starts, shifting in her seat to face him, 'you be Bonnie's boyfriend for what, seventy years? And then what? You let her die so that you can have Elena back?'

Wow! She doesn't waste time, does she? She doesn't beat around the bush apparently, she just comes right out and gets to the point without the fore pleasantries and building up to the actual point. Hmm, he instantly likes that about her.

On the other hand, what the hell? Who does she thinks she is to question him, and to question him as though she knows the first thing about him? About him concerning Bonnie, for that matter. Really, just who does she think she is?

'And if she wants to be married, Damon?' she carries on inquisitively. 'If she wants children? If after the seventy years she doesn't want to stop being with you, but you do? What if she decides that she's not going to die, taking away your dream of having eternity with Elena? Will you hate her? Will you kill her?'

The interesting thing to him, is that she's speaking with such clarity and certainty on the matter, as if she's an actual participating member of his and Bonnie's relationship. She's making it sound like she has so much at stake to lose, that she spent nights awake, just thinking about all that came out of her mouth.

What, she thinks that he hasn't thought about all that? Does she really think that he would go into a relationship with Bonnie, Bonnie of all people, without considering everything that there was to consider? Another time, in another life before he got to know Bonnie and he was influenced by her, he would've done things impulsively, maybe, but not anymore. Least of all, concerning Bonnie's life.

For some reason, Lucy begins to shake her head, verbally adding, 'I'm not some sadistic person that doesn't want her to happy, or even that I want you to suffer, it's just that I've been around the block, I know how things tend to turn out. That look on your face says that you think I'm crazy, but I've been around the block, like I said.'

Even so, he thinks, even if she's been around seventeen different blocks, ten times over, there's one thing that she's never been around, and on that one thing, she can't base her previous findings. She just can't.

'You don't know anything about us,' he tells her evenly, 'not me and Bonnie.'

'Maybe,' she shrugs, 'but think about it long and hard. Bonnie loves you, but do you love her? Because like it or not Damon, love's not always enough. And I believe Elena resting in a casket is proof enough to you about that.'

Oh. Wow. She evidently knows where his heart is exposed and just how to hurt him, consequently. It literally feels like she physically touched a place inside of him that is out of bounds.

Evidently, these Bennett girls just don't seem to get that he is very soft at heart. They don't seem to grasp the notion that he's very easy to bruise, even though he likes to act otherwise. When it comes to matters of the heart, what hurts more than the truth to him, is losing what his heart wants.

But, clearly, he inwardly sighs, with Lucy, there's apparently no point in this. It's bad enough that Bonnie is refusing to even talk about their differences, adding one more grain of salt to the wound, wouldn't be good for him overall, because as much as he's trying to do the right by Bonnie and keeping her request, if he keeps being in situations that trigger him, sooner, more than later, he will make a rash decision that's bound to hurt Bonnie. And that's the last thing in the world, that he's going to ever do.

For now, he'll just have to change the subject, to the other thing that's brought him here. It's safer that way for him.

'Uh…' he clears his throat, 'so… your situation, what's that about?'

Thankfully, as he's fast coming to know that Lucy doesn't linger or edge towards something, she just dives right in, she gets up from her seat, and motions for him to do the same.

'We're going somewhere,' she tells him, holding out her hand towards him. 'Take my hand. And don't close your eyes,' she adds as a warning.

Looking at her suspiciously, he asks her, 'Why?'

'Why?' she laughs, apparently amused by his question as she repeats it. 'You know what, Damon, close them.'

He wants to dare to try, but he won't. That very much sounded like a 'suit-yourself-but-don't-blame-me-later' threat to him, and no, he is not willing to find out something unpleasant as he is. Maybe if he and Bonnie were still together, he'd dare to try his luck.

'Ready?' she asks, to which he can only nod.


Chapter 10, Just For Now.