Um... Okay. I don't like putting long Author's Notes up here, but I kinda feel the need to. (Only the last two (and a half, ish) paragraphs are important to this chapter, so if you wanna skip, go ahead.)
According to what Kairi and I have figured out, I owe you guys up to Chapter 12 right now. Since all we actually need to do is get songs picked out for each chapter, you'd think I'd be posting them faster, but nooooo...
So just to clarify, chapters 10 & 11 are fully beta'ed and everything, and just need songs. Chapter 12, Kairi's reading over again because that was where I stopped putting in headers. (AKA, it may not have been beta'ed yet. But we think it was. So it should just need a song.)
Chapters 13-26 have been written, separated, and most of those have probably been sent to Kairi to endure the attentions of her fine-toothed comb of an inner grammar Nazi. I'm hoping to get caught up sometime next week.
Chapter 13 is due next Tuesday, the 17th, and every other Tuesday thereafter I should be able to post an update. Just so you know, that gives me 6+ months of pre-written/separated-from-main-doc material to throw at you, and that's not counting another few months worth of material that hasn't been pulled out of the main document. So yeah. I'm trying.
Alright. On to actual chapter-related stuff. This is another completely new chapter... And this is the first time we really get a good glimpse of Fae culture. Also, Mithri is a lot better at explaining things than Mana and Alyna'aou are. (Keep this in mind, because it comes up again later. Repeatedly.)
On that note, since I don't think we saw it in the original version, we also get to see Mana's ability here.
Enjoy!
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh how far you are from home
Conflict of Interests
Chapter 9 – May It Be
Fae and Fate
My thoughts are a whirl of anger and terror and why?! Why did he have to kill the liger queen? She was just sitting there! She wasn't hurting us, she was just watching to make sure we didn't hurt her children! He didn't even bother to look before he cast that arte!
And that blue-haired girl who looks like Maeve but isn't, could never be, because Maeve would never hesitate if I declared someone a blædür ghâddra. Maeve would never try to make me change my mind.
And the bastard couldn't bother to give back my father's lexicon, either.
While that pisses me off, I would give the lexicon up in an instant if it meant the liger queen could live again. But I can't bring Frinyenri back to life.
Frinyenri... Named for Frinye, the warrior goddess with the heart of the gentlest mother. A fitting name for the liger queen, whose name was long and meant roughly the same thing, anyway. She had agreed with me... And given me a name as well.
Gentle-child-loves-life.
And that blædür ghâddra had murdered her.
"Mithri?"
It says something about how incensed I am that I don't notice the door opening, or Luke poking his head in. The blue-haired girl ran out earlier, apparently realizing I wouldn't listen to her. I scowl. Are they trying to get Luke to tell me that bastard doesn't need to die, now?
Luke assumes my scowl is directed at him, and it's not really, so I cross my arms, look elsewhere, and try to school my features into something less hostile. "Do you need something?" I ask.
The redhead steps in, shakes his head at someone behind him—Ion, it looks like—and closes the door. Humph. Brave little noble.
"Jade asked me to give you a message."
I snarl. "I don't want to hear his excuses."
Luke holds up his hands. "Don't kill the messenger, please! Just... let me say it? I don't think he's trying to make excuses... although I don't recognize some of what he had me memorize."
I sigh. Luke's right. I shouldn't snap at him. "Fine."
"He said..." Luke pauses, and then starts reciting what he obviously spent a few minutes reciting previously. "'Mana and Alyna'aou call me 'meldra', and now that I know the other four chiastre, I disagree. I won't call myself blædür ghâddra, but I will acknowledge that I am lhaedh.'"
I can't help but smile a bit. No wonder Luke doesn't recognize a lot of those words. Many of those terms were Faemarr. Then I scowl again.
So, he'll admit to being a murderer, huh?
My anger fades as quickly as it comes, replaced with something I can't quite name. Disappointment? Is that what this is?
"...Mithri?"
I glance at Luke, and find myself sighing. "Anything else?"
Luke goes back and forth between asking about the strange words in the murderer's message and asking my opinion on the same man's request for help earlier in the day. He finally bites his lip and makes up his mind.
"Jade's message... Some of those words don't sound like the fonic language," Luke says. I've long since learned that Common is referred to as 'the fonic language' here. I consider how much to tell Luke.
"They aren't," I start. "Meldra, chiastre, blædür ghâddra, and lhaedh are terms from another language." I pause to think for a moment. Should I tell him what they mean? Hmm... Perhaps I should explain all five chiastre. "The chiastre are known as the words of death-bringers. Only one is really respectable, and that would be meldra. I can call Tear meldra, because she is a soldier."
"Jade's a soldier," Luke says. I inhale slowly, and force myself not to hiss as I continue.
"The two chiastre he didn't mention are ghilvïe meldra and aislinghar. Ghilvïe, roughly translated, means 'bought with gold,' so can you figure out what a ghilvïe meldra is?"
Luke thinks about it for a moment. "Um... A bounty hunter?"
I sigh, an almost fond edge to it. "Not quite. Ghilvïe meldra is the word for a mercenary. Ghilvïe meldra will, sometimes, take on those kinds of assignments, but they're usually reserved for aislinghar. The word in this language sounds somewhat similar."
Luke's eyes widen. "Assassin."
I nod. "Indeed." I cross my arms and frown. "The last two are very easily confused by people who aren't familiar with the language, because they both, roughly, mean 'murderer'. Lhaedh is one who either doesn't understand the crime he is committing, or who has a reason for killing his victim. Blædür ghâddra, if translated completely literally, means 'blood reaper', and blædür ghâddra is sort of the opposite of lhaedh. It's a term that refers to someone who kills in cold blood, knowing full well what they are doing, and who doesn't have a valid reason for their crime."
Luke is leaning against the door, shaking. "Then... that message..."
"He seems to understand what meldra is, so to admit to being lhaedh means he is admitting to being a murderer." I pause and cross my arms. "Though, whether he is fully aware of the differences between lhaedh and blædür ghâddra, I'm not sure."
Luke swallows as his legs finally give out from under him, and he ends up sitting, pale-faced and trembling slightly, against the door. I feel a bit of pity for him. He's been locked up in his manor for as long as he can remember, and now he's stuck on a landship with a man I'm still quite certain is a blædür ghâddra.
I sigh, walk over to the door, and sit next to him, while Luke hugs his knees to his chest.
"So... I probably shouldn't trust him, should I?"
I shrug, mimicking his position. "Trust is something that should be earned, regardless of whom asks for it. It is easily broken, and so should not be easily given. I still believe that man to be blædür ghâddra, but there is also the chance that I could be wrong. The problem is, the only other person onboard who seems to fully understand the implications behind the term isn't willing to assist me in doing what the culture that language was born of insists must be done."
Luke groans. "Simplify that slightly, please?"
I smile slightly when I realize only the second half of that spiel confused him, then sigh. "Fae culture demands that no known blædür ghâddra be allowed to live. One death will eventually turn into two, then ten, and so on. It's best to nip the problem in the bud, so to speak."
Luke gasps. "You want to kill him?!"
I cringe. "I don't want to kill anyone, or anything for that matter." Frinyenri certainly called me out on that one. "But I will do what must be done. I've been raised to believe that blædür ghâddra must be killed before they can end another innocent life. I'm not going to just set that aside." I stop and sigh for the umpteenth time. "But, this isn't my home. So while I'm going to cling to my refusal to have anything to do with that man, I won't stop you, or anyone else, from associating with him."
Luke is quiet for a moment as he thinks. I smile slightly as he once again considers that man's request. Luke had originally planned to just ask me my opinion and go with that, but now he's actually thinking about it himself.
"Jade asked us for help earlier. He's apparently on a peace mission, though he can't give me any details unless I agree to help."
I hum softly. "From what I've been able to glean from your conversations with Tear," and what I've heard from their minds, "your uncle is the king of Kimlasca, is he not?"
Luke nods. "Yeah."
"If that man is on a peace mission... and he's likely bringing Ion along as another, neutral, ambassador... then your status means your assistance will make getting an audience with the king a lot easier," I say. Luke pauses and thinks about it, and his thoughts quickly turn darker.
"If I help him get an audience, it'll help prevent a war, right? I've been locked in the manor for as long as I can remember, so I never realized it, but... Tear said it's really possible a war could start soon. And while I'll admit that I don't know much about it, I do know that a war means a lot of people are going to die," Luke says, voice soft. I wonder if he's actually talking to me, or if he's just thinking out loud.
Something niggles in the back of my mind.
Luke... doesn't feel like a teenager. I've been around people with amnesia before, and even those who can't remember a thing that happened before a certain event feel the age they look.
Luke feels like a child, about six or seven years old.
And I feel my heart go out to him again, because I remember what it was like when Father left that last time, and my world came crashing down around me.
For Luke, who's been sheltered his whole life, who feels like a child of about that same age, this situation must be fairly similar.
"I'll let you decide on what you have to do," I say. "I'm going to stay holed up in this cabin. If you would... see if you can get my father's lexicon back for me? If I don't see that man, I won't feel compelled to send him to Gesældha."
Luke's mind is colored with confusion. So is his face when he turns to look at me, and I giggle a bit at the expression.
"Gesældha is one of the goddesses of the Fae culture. She is the ruler of the dead, and the one who judges us when we die. Those who she feels have more to offer the world are reincarnated. Those who have lived their lives to the fullest are granted their rest..." I pause and look away from Luke. "She is also the one who punishes those who have committed great crimes. She saves the worst punishments for the blædür ghâddra who are sent to her."
Luke absorbs the bit of information. Then my words from before finally register, and Luke smiles. "Alright. I'll get it back for you. It's the least I can do for you for at least trying to not kill him." He stands up and pauses before opening the door. It's not like it'll hit me, but something's caught in his mind, and he mulls over it for a moment before speaking aloud. It takes a great amount of self-control to not smile at his words. "I know you feel obligated to make sure he can't kill again, but I don't want you to become a lhaedh either."
I smile when Luke leaves, because he understands.
The throbbing in my head, which I've been ignoring up until now, increases slightly, then starts to fade again.
"If you don't want her to try to kill you again, stay out of that cabin," I hear Luke warn the murderer through the redhead's mind. "She's planning to hole herself up in there. And on that note, can she have her lexicon back now?"
The murderer sighs, but the expression I see in Luke's mind implies that he understands it's the best he's going to get. "I suppose so. I assume that means she still considers me blædür ghâddra as well..."
Luke stiffens, and he notices this. "She told you what it means."
Luke hesitates, then nods. A bit more hesitation, then... "She also said that this isn't her home, and she's not going to force anyone else to see things her way." He stops to think again. "She also told me why she thinks you need my help. And if she's right in assuming you need me to talk to my uncle, you have it."
Crimson eyes widen slightly before that man regains his composure. "Thank you. I'm sure Ion will appreciate it as well. Mithri is correct, and your cooperation should make things go much more smoothly."
Luke nods a couple times, paying enough attention to be polite, but not much more.
The blue-haired girl that looks like Maeve skips up next to the murderer, Father's lexicon tucked under her arm. "You asked me to get this?" she asks in a far-too-cheerful voice.
That man blinks at her a few times before glancing at the... wait, that purple dragon is obviously the girl's Bonded, so why is it on his shoulder? "Thank you, Alyna'aou, for sending along that message. And if you would be so kind as to go give that to Mithri, I'm sure she'd appreciate it, Mana."
The girl, Mana, tilts her head to the side, suddenly looking sad. "She still hasn't rescinded it?"
Luke shakes his head. "She's not planning on changing her mind any time soon... But she did say that as long as she doesn't see Jade, she'll... Oh, what was it she said? She... wouldn't be... compelled to... send him to Gesældha?"
Mana looks caught between the urge to laugh and sigh. Her mind is... confusing to listen to, but it seems like she's decided that since the murderer's not going to die so long as I don't see him, then it'll be mostly okay.
I decide to go back to ignoring her.
Luke leaves the murderer to his own business, looking for Tear, Mieu, and Kuri... who, if I'm not mistaken, is currently sitting outside the cabin door, waiting for someone to come by so she can ask to be let in.
The dragon, Alyna'aou, is now on Mana's shoulder, and the two are quickly approaching. I get up and move to the table, sitting down and waiting patiently. The door opens after only a little while, and Kuri steps in, Mana following her.
"Hi!" the blue-haired girl greets me cheerfully. The door swings shut behind her as she skips forward. "I think we got off on the wrong foot earlier. I'm Mana!"
"Mithri," I say simply, and in monotone, to boot. Mana kinda wilts, then holds out Father's lexicon. I snatch it out of her hands quickly and turn around, opening it and picking up where I left off earlier. Mana isn't real encouraged by my actions, but I care little. Right now, I'd prefer to be left in peace.
"So, anyway... About Jade..."
"This is not Kelys, or any other world with a discernable Fae presence. How you got here is beyond me," I cut in quickly. "That blædür ghâddra may live, so long as he stays away from me."
Mana reaches out and puts a hand on my shoulder, meaning to try to talk me down.
But the moment our skin comes in contact, her mind clouds over, and she withdraws her hand as if burnt. I frown and turn to look at her. Since I can no longer hear her thoughts, I'll need her facial expressions to determine what she's thinking.
Shock, fear, and confusion flash through her eyes as I watch.
"If you're telepathic, why can't you just read Jade's mind?"
The world seems to stop spinning.
Mana knows about my telepathy.
"Mithri?!"
"Not a word!" I almost scream. "Not a word to anyone!"
Mana recoils as if I've struck her physically. I can hear her thoughts again.
"No! No one!" I insist.
She bites her lip, mind spinning. She's apologetic, but so confused, so, so confused.
"Because I can't turn it off! Because I hear everything that's being thought by the people around me, all the time! And because people like that murderer and one of my best friends can knock me unconscious from the pain I feel when they're around, because they think so FAST!"
Mana lifts her arms, not quite clasping her hands in front of her chest. "I'm sorry. I can't exactly control my ability either..."
I sigh. "You already know mine. What's yours, that you apparently figured mine out?"
She shifts uncomfortably. "Um... I can identify any unique abilities a person has with skin contact. Like... Luke can create a hyperresonance by himself. And there's a soldier onboard, a regular foot soldier, who can kinda sense things before they happen. He knows roughly where and when, but never what."
I blink a few times, then sigh. "Right..." I stop and hug my arms. "Mana... promise you won't tell anyone about my telepathy?"
Mana is about to do it without hesitation, when she notices the maeilyou sitting on the table behind me. I spin around, and Kuri flicks one of her tail tips.
"I swear by the eight essences that I won't tell anyone about your telepathy," she says. I pause, then smile.
"Thank you."
"I'll swear by Æslynndri that I won't tell anyone of your gift, either," Mana says.
Æslynndri... the goddess of hope, healing... and the granter of special abilities. For a girl with such an ability to swear to that particular goddess means she offers her own ability as forfeit should she break her promise.
Alyna'aou's head raises. *Put out your hands,* she orders. I'm a bit surprised to find that her voice is in my head, but I do it nonetheless, and the little purple dragon jumps from Mana's shoulder to my hands. With her hind legs on my hands and one of her front legs against my collarbone, she can stretch just enough to touch her nose to my forehead.
I can feel the magic in her breath as she speaks in my mind again.
*I shall not speak of your ability to any who do not know of it.*
I smile and look around at each of these three. "Kuri. Mana. Alyna'aou... Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me."
Mana grins, chipper personality back again. "I kinda get it. Anyway, I'm gonna go get some food. Want me to bring some for you?"
I laugh. "Please."
