Hallo, everyone. Sorry for my leaving you off like that….

My bad, my bad. Due to my joint custody of my guardians-my life is a lot more complicated. L Ah, well. Sorry if I left you hanging there for a bit.

This chapter goes out to AryandEragon4ever. ^^ May the wait for the Last Inheritance-Empire- be short and sweet.

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"No other surgery affects people in quite this way. For it is unthinkable, finally, that one's heart should be cut open. It is the one unthinkable cut."

"Hey, Timmy, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Silence. Finally, Timmy's lips twitched. This joke had been as old as time.

Or as Cosmo put it, older then Wanda.

"A woodchuck'll chuck as much wood as a woodchuck CAN chuck wood, Co-"

Suddenly, Timmy's face took on a grey pallor, and he swayed slightly in his seat. Wanda seized him by the shoulders, looking rather sickly herself as his head lolled to the side.

"Put your head between your knees, sweetie…..that's it, just a few deep breaths, now."

Cosmo blinked, looking puzzled.

"Wow…that's kinda cool! Are you taking up yoga, Timmy?"

The green haired (and eyed) fairy tugged at his arms in a self important matter….

….and then gulped as he accidentally ripped the limb off.

He turned to his wife, pressing the other arms against the other so the thumbs could twiddle.

"Uh, Wanda….d'you have any scotch tape?"

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"Order! ORDER!"

Cosmo jumped in his seat.

"Ooh! Oooooh! For what? Chinese Food? Dibs on the Goo Goo Gai Pan!"

Poof shot his father a look. Remembering the small fact that his infant son could easily pound him into the earth, Cosmo gulped.

"Make that a DOUBLE order. Or-are you not getting Chinese? If so-I want Pizza! Jelly beans and ketchup on MINE!"

Cosmo frowned, scratching his head with what used to be lefty's fingers.

"Uh….actually, no sauce on mine. Or cheese. Or crust. I just want the rabies flavoring! They're what gives a meal an extra zip!"

Chester shot him the thumbs up from the audience.

"Everything tastes better with them!"

Silence. Wanda raised her hand.

"Uh, your honor, I'd like to be judged in a separate trial."

- - -

The judge paused.

"Tamara and what's-your-name Turner-"

"HEY! I have a name!" shouted Mr. Turner indignantly, leaning on a pair of crutches somewhat precariously.

"It's-"

At this moment, Tootie started an extremely loud coughing fit in the stands. People turned to her slightly, staring. Meanwhile, Mr. T was finishing.

"-and don't you forget it!"

A pause. The judge sighed.

"Anyhoo, may I PLEASE just get to the-"

A hand rose from the stands.

"Your honor, if I may interrupt?"

* *

The Judge ground his teeth together, eyes rolling, and his knuckles began to whiten slightly from his grip.

"Will you HURRY this UP?!" the man griped, shaking his head like an old dog ridding itself of bothersome flies. "I have golf to play with Dr. Studwell-"

"Dr. RIP Studwell," corrected the majority of the audience.

"-whatever. After his incredibly long and difficult surgery!"

Wanda blinked, and turned to the jury.

"What? YOU'RE going under the knife, Doctor?"

The fairy flashed a dazzling smile and laughed heartily.

"You kill me, Wanda….ya kill me….but to answer your question: NO. I'm not doing the limbo under a series of life threateningly dangerous and utterly stupid reconfigurations!"

"Weren't you listening before? Timmy is."

The boy blinked.

And blinked again.

And thudded on the floor before he said another word.

The MD Fairy groaned.

"I gotta do something with that disorder…it's almost as bad as those FACES the kid makes when he freaks out."

Jorgan had been the one to raise his arm, looking doubtful.

"Uh, your honored fairyship…we have a problem here."

An exasperated groan.

"What?!"

The fairy who had raised his hand-Jorgan-looked uneasy as he poofed himself over to the judge's side, and promptly began whispering in his ear.

The expression became somewhat doubtful on the Judge's face as he drew back.

"I KNOW that one won't be affected. The whole true yadda yadda yadda. I get it, I get it. After the third month, THEY'LL deal with it."

Timmy stared desperately at the muscle bound fairy, who would not meet his eyes as he withdrew, and poofed himself back on the seats.

Who or what was "that one?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Turner-AS I WAS SAYING-"

There was a pause, in which the Judge's sharp eyes scanned the perimeter, to be certain he would not be interrupted.

"-you have been found guilty of all present charges. How do y-oh." The judge scratched his head.

Right, right, onto the good stuff…

*

"-and, charged with obvious disregard of Fairy Law-"

"People like you are in GOVERNMENT?! I demand representation, here! I didn't even get a lawy-"

The judge simply plowed on, eyes burning.

"For Timothy Tiberious Turner."

The judge glanced at his notes and frowned.

"Tiberious? And he laughs at Gregory…"

* *

Timmy swallowed, and clung to Poof, resisting the urge to suck his thumb with difficulty. He closed his eyes, but the dreaded words still came-

"-you are stripped of any parental laws and rights of him, as for this day on, and are awarded to Godparents in question: Mrs. Wanda and Cosmo Fairywinkle Cosma, for this day and forever on as a fairy."

Thwack!

The hammer came crashing down.

"Because our laws prohibit a painless transfusion with magic, Dr. Rip Studwell will see to Timmy now."

The doctor grinned, and lazily snapped his fingers.

Timmy looked up, blue orbs enormous-

And disappeared in a puff of smoke.