Karkat beat his fist on Jade's door. It was six in the morning and he was really beginning to feel the effects of staying up all night… and invading a mob hideout… and also living through a bomb detonation… Yeah, what a great night.

Jade opened the door, glasses perched on the edge of her nose. She yawned and leaned on the door frame rubbing under her spectacles at one of her eyes. "Karkat, I expected you here like a few hours ago. Where have you been? Dave texted me you were gonna be on your way over so Jane made a cake and-"

"A bomb went off in my apartment." Karkat cut off Jade's enthusiastic mouth dribble before it got to be too much for him. "I was sort of detained. But I'm here now… Am I still welcome?"

"Of course, Karkat! Come on in! Man, you look bushed! I made up our guest bedroom so feel free to make yourself at home."

Karkat followed her through the house. They walked up the steps and stopped at the second floor landing. The house appeared to have three floors. "You weren't waiting up for me or anything, were you? Or did I wake you up?"

"Nah! I wake up early a lot to work out. A healthy body contributes to a healthy mind. Jane likes waking up early too, but she sleeps in later than me." Jade pointed up to the third floor. "The only room upstairs is my bedroom and lab area. Jane's room is down the hall. The bathroom is right here next to the staircase." She gestured to another door. "Closet. And the guest room, which has already been set up for you, is the last room after that." Jade stared down at him and smiled. "You can sleep for as long as you'd like. I know it's probably been a taxing twenty-four hours for you."

Karkat felt relief and appreciation wash over him at Jade's expression of sympathy. "Thank you."

Jade seemed a bit stunned by Karkat's sudden solemnity. "Hey, no biggie! Dave and I have been friends for a long time and I really hope we can be that close one day too."

The thought of Jade and Dave having been even closer in the past resurfaced once more. Karkat tried to shake it off. You're being paranoid. Jade is nice and she's doing this because Dave is her friend. Stop being insecure. "O-okay. Well, goodnight!" Karkat stumbled past Jade and closed the door behind him before he could display veteran contortionist skills and somehow manage to stick his entire foot in his mouth.

Finally, alone in a quiet space, the events of the previous night hit him once more. He barely registered that the sheets were a blindingly bright green color before falling into the neatly made bed and drifting off into sleep.

The clock on his nightstand read one-eleven when Karkat opened his eyes again. He laid still and stared at the numbers changing for a few more minutes before he actually got up. The color of the bed sheets made him wince. He almost regretted being well rested enough to take notice of them. They were practically neon. He tried to turn his attention elsewhere. There was a window just above and to the right of his bed. Its sheer white curtains fluttered him as a chilly breeze slipped into the room. It was going to be sunny today if not fairly windy.

As he left his room and started to climb down the staircase, Jade made her way out of the bathroom. She was wearing a sports bra and a pair of shorts, a towel hanging around her neck. She leaned over the second floor railing. "Jane, how's lunch coming along?"

"Just peachy! Meaning, I've made peach cobbler and you just have to try it! I think I've finally perfected the recipe! This one's going into the book!"

Karkat stopped his descent and looked up at Jade. "Book?"

Jade's smile lit up her whole face. "Jane's a culinary genius! She should probably open her very own pastry shop one of these days but she's still holding out and hoping to inherit our grandmother's business. We come from a long line of baking heiresses, but Jane is really the only one of us that has the blood."

"So why wouldn't she inherit then?"

"Favorability maybe? John's technically the heir, not that he really gives much of a damn. But there's a lot of squabble about the whole thing right now. The old batterwitch wants Jane to be the face of the operation while John runs it. It's like a patriarchy being masqueraded by the allusion of a matriarchy. Pretty sick, if you ask me. Jane's been draggin her feet and isn't too sure whether she should settle or not. But I'm always telling her; with cooking like hers she could overtake anyone."

Jane strolled over to the bottom of the staircase, red apron tied around her chubby waist and a sweet smelling confectionary in a tin poised in between two oven-mitted hands. Karkat's mouth watered and he quickly realized how hungry he was. "Oh, shucks buster! None of that talk now! We'll discuss all that later. It's not polite to talk about family politics with guests."

Jade rolled her eyes. "Yes, mooooom!"

"Come down stairs. I still have Karkat's welcome cake from last night in the fridge. Do you like chocolate, Karkat? Most people do so I thought that would probably be best."

Karkat's thoughts were rapidly degenerating into ways that he might propose to Jane. "I love chocolate."

"Splendid! Then I'll get it out too. I've also made some turkey and cheese sandwiches for lunch so make sure you have some of those before we delve too deeply into the sweets, okay?"

Karkat entered the kitchen after her and took one of the sandwiches off of a tray. "Yes, ma'am."

Jade folded her arms and gave him a look that clearly read, 'what the fuck?' obviously perturbed with how tame he was being towards Jane.

Karkat shrugged and took a bite. Any person that could get up early and make food like this was a god among mortals and deserved the appropriate amount of respect. Plus, he was more comfortable sassing up Jade than Jane for some reason. Jane had the distinguishable aura of an authority, or maybe even maternal, figure about her that Jade didn't really have. She was intimidating and yet her unnecessary overcooking only displayed how much she cared for the people around her.

Jade shook her head and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "You must be weak to temptation, Karkat." Despite her words, she also snagged herself a sandwich and brought it with her into the living room, getting settled on the couch. Karkat followed her and took a seat in the armchair juxtapose to her current seating arrangement.

"So, you said someone blew up your apartment, right?" Jade spoke with her mouth full, unapologetic for her lack of manners.

Karkat tried not to drop any crumbs. He really should have gotten himself a plate, even if Jade didn't seem bothered by it at all. He had a feeling Jane not only was this home's star chef but that she probably did most of the household chores as well. "Yeah. Dave and I saw some goons leaving the scene. Most likely Felt guys. And then 'Boom!' No more apartment."

"Explosives, huh. That's pretty dangerous," She said it with an air of mild interest, like she had heard of worse but it was still enough to garner attention. "So what are you packing for protection then?"

"I'm sorry? I don't follow."

Jane placed the chocolate cake on the coffee table before them. She left again to go get plates and forks.

Jade set her sandwich down on the table next to the cake. "Protection! You know. Like, do you have a gun on you in case things get hairy?"

Karkat thought back to Terezi taking out a gun and handing him a knife. He felt like he was having brief hot flashes and lamented over all of the women in his life that loved brandishing weapons. "I have a blade that a friend gave me." He hoped the answer might make him seem more competent than he actually was.

"Blades are alright. But what you need is a gun! My grandpa used to never let me leave the house without one. That and a computer! Always pays to be prepared!"

Jane sighed and started dishing out pieces of cobbler and cake. "She says that but then forgets to bring her wallet with her when we go out. You can't pay people in bullets, you know."

Jade gasped, "Jane, that would be an amazing action packed one-liner! They ask me to pay and I'm just like, 'How about I pay you- dramatic pause- in bullets?'"

"And then we get arrested for threatening assault with a deadly weapon," Jane groaned.

Jade scoffed, "Oh, you're no fun! But seriously, Karkat, you'll probably need a gun if you wanna protect yourself, your friends, your loved ones. Like…" Jade stuck her hand in a slot between the seat cushions on the coach. She fiddled her arm around.

Jane's brow furrowed. She looked displeased. "Jade. Please. Don't-"

"This one!" Jade pulled a pistol out of the slot and waved it around above her head.

"Oh my god." Jane touched her temples with her fingers, not quite distraught but rather thoroughly fed up.

"Relax! I'm a responsible gun owner." Jade passed the gun into Karkat's very incompetent amateur hands. "Here, take this. I think I have the holster for it someone around here…"

Karkat could feel the hairs on his neck rising as he battled with how he was going to hold the gun. He decided to lay it on its side in his palm, a position that would probably make it hard for him to fuck something up. "I don't have a permit for this." His nervous eyes didn't want to leave the barrel of the gun but he gave an anxious side eye to Jade.

Jade looked over at him strangely. "What the fuck is a 'permit'."

Karkat's hands slipped and he dropped the pistol onto Jane's chocolate cake.

Jane tutted him, "Now that wasn't very polite! Why take it out on the cake? Just try and see if you get anymore dessert at dinner tonight, Buster Brown!"

The rest of the day, Karkat spent helping Jane around the house with chores. He even attempted to learn a few baking tips. Jade mostly stayed shut up in her lab, isolated and hard at work. The lifestyle they led seemed rather comfortable. It was almost how he imagined a normal family was supposed to be, aside from Jade pulling out her gun collection that Karkat assumed she had somehow managed to scatter throughout the house.

Helping out Jane was by far the best part of the day though. Karkat felt this must be what it was like to have a mother that wanted their child around. He was sure of it. And no matter how much Jade tried to torment him about it at dinner, he was unapologetic in allowing himself that small secretive pleasure.

Jade's utensils clinked onto her plate as she leaned back and stretched, finished and satisfied with her meal. "So, I've been thinking-"

"You're a scientist, Jade. It's your job to think." Jane playfully teased.

Jade rolled her eyes. "Well, I've been thinking about one thing more than the others. Anyway, I saw how uncomfortable you were with the gun earlier and I just wanted to know if you wanted me to teach you how to shoot it properly." Jade eyed Karkat expectantly. "I think it would be a useful skill to have. Actually, I'm surprised you don't already know how to use one, being a person with your background and all."

Spades Slick had allowed his son to skip out on any heir grooming that involved shooting a gun. There were times where even seeing his father's holstered glock threw Karkat into a fit of panic and terror. He grew out of the attacks that had plagued him as a child. Avoiding it had certainly prevented him from having to relive the trauma of his mother's death. Holding a gun or just aiming it for someone was one thing but, even now, Karkat still doubted whether or not he'd be able to actually fire one himself. "Yeah, well, I'm pretty proficient in close combat techniques so I didn't really bother with that kind of stuff."

"But you're going up against gangsters and they will have guns and against guns close combat can be… well-"

"Useless," Jane finished the thought for her. "I agree that Jade's tutelage would be most favorable to your current situation. If you don't want to be a liability and you want to protect yourself and your loved ones then I would take her up on her offer."

"That was pretty blunt put, Janey."

Jane smiled warmly at Karkat. "Only meant to give some well-intended advice."

Karkat gave a small, shy smile back to her. "Thank you. And you're right. I know I should be better prepared for this kind of thing." He peered over at Jade. "Can you teach me?"

Jade practically bounced out of her seat. "Absolutely! We can go to the firing range first thing in the morning!" Jade reached across the table and ruffled Karkat's hair. "But seriously, what is up with that obedience around Jane while I keep getting nothing but 'tude? You're a total momma's boy!"

"Holy fucking dick pimples. I think I'm full. I'm just gonna excuse myself now." Karkat stood up to leave.

Jane gasped, "But I've made cookies for dessert! You don't want any, Karkat?"

Karkat immediately sat back down. "I think I could spare some room if you need someone to taste test them that badly…"

Jade smirked in his direction and mouthed the words, "Momma's boy."

Karkat flipped her the bird while Jane was preoccupied with retrieving the cookies.