Author's Note: Hey everybody! What a crazy couple weeks I've had. In light of not updating last weekend, (with good reason) today I will bring you two chapters to make up for it, so we're back on track! Last weekend I became an aunt again to a little peanut named Thomas. I spent all weekend tied up with my 2-year-old niece while mom was delivering Thomas with her husband at her side. Sheesh 2-year-olds are hyper! So that's my excuse. It's a good one, right? As I'm sure many of you have now become entirely aware of, seems things with DC will be a bit different this season. Talks and negotiations are still underway and there's a good possibility we will still see both Northwestern and Time Bandit on this upcoming season, but unless they strike a deal by 10/15, it looks like it'll just be the Cornelia Marie and Wizard for certain. Little birdies have been chattering about other vessels taking the spots of the F/V Northwestern and F/V Time Bandit, but we'll just have to wait and see.. I'd like to send you some rec's this week for author's to check out. Next update I'll direct you to specific stories, (later this evening) but until then, I'll make a hat tip to JakeHarrisLover and to IrishCaptain. Their styles of writing are captivating and definitely worth a moment of acknowledgment. So with that, until this evening... in no way, shape or form is this a true story. All crew from the Deadliest Catch (eg: Northwestern, Cornelia Marie, Time Bandit, etc) are the rightful owners of trademark and registered publishing for their specific namesakes. I make no claims of ownership; I am just a writer, doing what I love.


"There's a place downtown where the freaks all come around, it's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free for all" thumped in Darlington's Audi at this very early hour. "Is this really necessary?" Emh asked Darlington, noting the volume, the music, the whole charade that was happening.

"Oh girl, you're getting the shifty eyes now," he responded, cranking it louder as he looked to her, his one eye opening wider as the other did the opposite.

"Looks more like you're giving me the stink eye, Darl" she laughed; her mood clearly far more lively and enhanced since the days Edgar popped into her life. Knowing fair well, however, that he was married albeit happy or not, she would refrain from explaining anything of the sort to Darlington. He would press and pry and it would end up a bigger production than she cared for.

"Looooosssee your minnndd, loosseee it nowwww" Darlington screamed along with the lyrics, off key and a bit pitchy. He eyed Emh, seeing her pained look and decided it was in his best interest to avoid a whacking by turning the music lower and perhaps toning down his flamboyance at this 5am start time. "I can't help it," he laughed, (giggling is more like), "Mike Rowe, I get to see all these men again!" If he could have jumped up and down, he would have, 'cuz God knows he was already squealing. Darlington was Emh's first gay friend; his lifestyle was definitely a new ride for her.

With her nose practically pressed to the window, Emh sighed in wonderment at the beauty that was Seattle. Puget Sound, the signs for it even got her a little excited, but Darlington was far more consumed in his own thoughts than to evoke any attempted interest in the scenery. Washington's beauty wore off long ago, "yeah yeah, trees, water, pretty" rolled off his tongue as he flipped to the next song, as they made their way over the floating bridge.

Arriving to a series of homes that someone of Emh's background has only admired from afar, Darlington parked his Audi, giving Emh some much needed relief from the whines and screeches of his techno, club-inspired soundtrack. Skipping back to the car, he re-parked it and soon the two were heading down to a home one would see on an episode of Cribs. A relatively attractive man named Keith answered the door; Emh couldn't discern what she was more taken back by: Keith's attractiveness, sans wedding ring, or the glorious home that waited behind him.

A man's voice, familiar yet hard to place echoed throughout. Peering around, he greeted her; he stood over 6 feet, had kind eyes but clearly was 20-years-older than her; "Mike Rowe" he introduced himself after a little prying as to who she was, "I'm Emh, Darlington's friend" she managed after a moments passing. He was painfully attractive. No ring, Emh swooned.

The way the day was to follow seemed a bit interesting, but aside from Mike there wasn't any of the 'gorgeous' captains that Darlington was certain would be there. 'Tomorrow' she was told, being told verbatim the same thing Darlington was told not ten minutes before. Following him all around town, Darlington and Emh acted as a gopher. Darlington did a lot of styling and worked closely with lighting and production, scouting locations that scattered them all throughout Seattle. Emh's favorite was a location that had Mike filmed with a back drop of Puget Sound, a slight breeze, a beautiful blue sky, it was amazing. Mike was a funny individual, but flubbed his lines so many times it was a wonder they ever managed to get him in one sound bite. The night was capped off with drinks, several rounds down, generously on Mike's tab. There were more than a half dozen production crew members that Emh and Darlington had become close with over the day that went too, but as conversations stalled, it was Emh and Darlington's cue to head out. They had a 4am call the next morning.

…Something though, something someone had said began eating away at Emh's mind after the mention of the name 'Edgar' was mouthed by both Mike and Darlington. 'Common name, my ass' Emh thought.

"Say," Darlington spoke, breaking the silence that had loomed over the car ride, "This Edgar you mentioned earlier, what's that story".

Careful to make sure she didn't mention too many details "just a neighbor" she said, feeling safe playing it off as simply a new friend, an acquaintance. "He's just a very nice neighbor, never knew an Edgar before". Emh was withholding a lot from Darlington, from Raven her new pet, to the excitement of the new neighbor that was a hell of a lot more neighborly than any she has yet to have. Feelings are a strange thing, but it was definitely a burden she was going to bear alone, the man was married… it was just a crush…

The long drive to Emh's place left them with only a few hour time lapse before they would have to be back at Daniel's Broiler for the morning shoot. Darlington contemplated staying with Emh, but his home in Capitol Hill was mere minutes away from shooting location and would afford him that much more sleep, then to go tandem tomorrow and have to leave so much earlier. With a wave, he sent Emh off as his Audi made quick work of the dark winding roads and was off in the distance before Emh even closed her door.

Raven met her with a joyful cry, running in circles as Emh went to let her out one last time for the night. Retreating to bed, she set her alarm for four-hours from then. "This should be interesting Raven," Emh laughed, as her black lab sprawled out next to her. Something sat kind of funny in both Emh's mind and stomach, a weird butterfly sensation and perhaps a bit of an apprehension. Closing her eyes and resting, listening to her own shallow breath, she soon drifted into a peaceful, dreamless sleep, completely unaware of how the next day would change her.

xXxXxXx

4-hours and five minutes later, Emh sprung up from bed, feeling more refreshed than she ought after only a handful of hours sleeping. A quick shower, a change of clothing, a business-casual attire Darlington determined should be "suitable" for today, she let Raven out, crated her before heading to her Hyundai and headed out. A bagel in tow with a bottle of water, the darkness still lingered with dawn still a ways away.

Arriving to Daniel's Broiler, Emh met with Darlington who looked worse for wear. Clearly not a morning person, he already had a carrier full of coffee and a shit grin. Despite his appearance, he was clearly excited for what was about to transpire.

"Right this way," he instructed, as she too felt a sense of excitement wash over her. Arriving at the doors, she was met with a smile and a badge that clipped to her belt loop "this should do ya," said the man, not recognizing it was Keith from the day before. He was bundled up with a ball cap on, a gravel voice, but still kind no less. Inside Daniel's the place was riddled with wires, crew, cameras and lights. Testing out different reference points, at a table, not far from the docks edge were men sitting around a table, several looking rather disheveled, others more put together. "Dropped the ball there, didn't ya?" Emh laughed, looking to Darlington.

"Hardly, they're not ready yet, just using them for scaling and referencing; I take no claim on how they appear at the moment," he giggled, sighing to himself heavily as he passed around the coffee, one directly into the hands of Mike Rowe. Mike looked amazing already, very much put together but definitely had already made it through wardrobe and make up as his face seemed a bit too tan and… 'pretty' for a guy at this early hour.

Darlington made his way through, off to the left, only a few feet or so away from the encircled area where some of the captains were. Four sat, one smoking like a chimney, as the others laughed and waited for their 'thing' to start. "We don't make captains wait, they have limited patience with us," Darlington noted, "That one right there" he head nodded towards a man, scruffy, shaggy hair, appeared in his mid-50's with a cigarette burning in between his fingers, "is Phil," he said, "looks like he could have a mean streak, but really he's the biggest teddy bear."

Emh took notice, as Phil looked around, spotting Emh before she dipped out of his line of sight, all to Darlington's amusement. "And that one," he nodded "is Andy, he's brothers to the guy next to him which is Johnathan, they're both on the Time Bandit, the bad boys of the Bering Sea if you will. Andy's just as much of a prankster as his brother, can never be sure what you'll get with them. Never have your back to them," he laughed "and then the one on the end is Keith Colburn; he is Captain from the Wizard. He's a temperamental son of a bitch but he's also a very loyal man. Good family, nice wife, great kids, but I'd never want to work for him," he said, looking Emh very seriously in the eye. "Yeah, never!"

"Who ya hiding over there, Darlington?" Phil asked, a very throaty voice accompanying his glimmering eyes despite this before sunrise start. Phil, like the other Captains was unfazed by the start time, especially Phil; he could do days on end without sleep and still work professionally. "You're hiding a girl, I saw her, bring her out, don't shove her in the corner, what's your name?"

Peaking her head around, "Emh,"

"Nice to meet ya, now what the hell are ya doing here?"

Emh looked to Darlington, "she's with me Phil, just seeing what I do"

"Boy, that'll be a hard thing, do you do something?" Phil was the sarcastic one, "shouldn't be hard Emh, just watch all he does" Phil laughed, taking a drag on his cigarette. "So, when are you going to make me the hottie, Darl?"

"Like that can happen," he shot back, getting a laugh out of Phil. "Good one, but you'll never get one up on me," Phil said, "I can keep it coming boy," he laughed, nodding his head, affirming his own statement.

Moving across the floor to the docks where the camera crews were propped up in various locations, the sky started to lighten. Production was waiting on Sig Hansen to arrive, he always showed up exactly on time. Not a minute early, not a minute late, always exactly on time. "Once we get Sig here, we'll start filming, Mike, take your place out on the dock, we'll cue you up" Keith shouted.

Taking refuge in the corner, Emh watched as Mike began reading his lines, a total night and day difference from the emcee she saw yesterday. He was flawless in his efforts, Darlington had made mention that they try to do this show in one take, language permitting. The captains have a tendency to swear like the sailors they are, but so long as the colorful language is distinguishable and able to be bleeped, the cameras continue to roll.

Production was smaller scale today than it was yesterday; most were for set up, very few people needed to be in when filming. Aside from Darlington, Emh noted Keith, the camera crew and a few lighting folks spread out. Including the captains, there were less than 20, where unlike the day before that was easily doubled. "Sig's in the building" Keith called out, as a blonde man met up with the others at the round table.

"So when do you get to dress them," Emh looked to Darlington. His face fell, "well, I guess this time, they go on as they are. They're trying to keep it authentic, they get powder to avoid the harsh lighting and that's it. They go on as they are," he said, looking dejected.

"I'm sorry Darl," Emh said, then turning her attention back to the men. All of them wore something donning their vessel logos or names. In varying states of dishevelment, they looked like sailors. This was no suit and tie affair, although Sig appeared to be the most put together. Johnathan was wearing a black tee shirt with his boats name, Andy in a button down black shirt with the same logo as his brother, Sig in a denim button down with his logo and Phil in a sweatshirt with an undistinguishable logo. "It's actually not a big deal, that's only a side thing I do, I maintain a lot of other things that have nothing to do with appearance, remember, Mike's usually the one I watch over the most, and as you can see, he's looking mighty fine."

The show began to film as the first hint of the sun began to rise. It was a cool vibe, and if televisions had smell vision, a mixture of sea water, cigarette smoke, and coffee would penetrate their senses. There were stories one after the next, more telling and dramatic then the next, language flowed fluidly and without hesitation. The next segment was bringing in crew members; they broke for what would be a commercial break, and then added more stools to the table. Two young men, who were Phil's sons' came out, and then in a moment of sheer shock, someone Emh recognized.

Edgar.


Aboard a pond hopper, Viv watched out the window as Unalaska came into view. It was a town of essentially nothing, 1 bar, 1 church, 1 jail and 1 store. But it held a lot of meaning to her family, to her husband anyway. Unalaska airport was about as small as an airport could be; it was on Amaknak Island, in the heart of the Aleutian Islands. It was definitely a glorious location filled with nature's beauty and some of the best sights she has seen in nature, but it also held a sense of unease for her. She was walking in the footsteps of her husband; these steps felt so distant and empty; here was a life she should know every last detail about, but as reality were, instead it loomed over her with a haunting absence, a void space where so many questions she had, gave her cold, hard answers.

Touching ground with her first step off the plane, the awe and wonderment of Unalaska hit her, as did the reality that she was walking the same path her husband had so many times. The hotel she left had arranged for a ride to pick her up; it would act as her tour guide for the day trip she had to Unalaska. She had a must stop, to travel the exact path he would, she went to Dutch, saw the very harbor he uses season after season. Viv was surprised to see several ships left in the harbor, the Alaska Rose was docked next to the Bering Rose, the Arctic Hunter next to the Aleutian Beauty… it was a sight to be seen, but it made her sad to think so many times the Northwestern was here.

The guided tour took less than two hours to fulfill, Dutch wasn't opened to random folks walking about, it was the busy commercial fishermen area during the season, but when it wasn't prime time, it offered very little to see. Besides, Viv being as uneducated as she was with the ways of the fishing world, was more harm than good if she were to attempt a touristy walk along Dutch.

xXxXxXx

It was hard to believe Viv was narrowing in on a week up in Alaska. In such short time, she felt she was finding herself, identifying with all the wrongs she had been committing in the years that spanned her marriage. Edgar was a good man, his demons something she should work with him on and not use against him. She had the hardest time coping with the thought that her two children, ones that adored her even after all the shit she pulled on them and the bad mother that she was to them, has such a cruel and mean mother. She was to be their protector and their spot for unconditional love; what they got was an existence based off of spite and cruelty, and a lifestyle fraught with peril and unnecessary hatred from their own mom. The malice that Viv was guilty of, the level of issues she would foresee herself always living with, would linger heavily in her mind until she was 6 feet under.

"I can never confess to my husband or children the reason that they're here," she thought, shaking her head violently, as if to rid the thoughts all together. "I cannot breathe a word, even in the heat of a moment, no one needs to know that. What good could come of it?" She sat deep in thought as her ride rounded Ballyhoo Road, with Latitudes coming into view. "Stop here," she instructed "this is one place I need to be at for awhile. Could you come get me later today?"

Her guide looked at the clock to see it was barely after 2 and yet here he was, dropping her off at the town's only bar. "Sure miss, whatever you say," he responded, as Viv got out and shut the door. His bright red car wasn't going to be easily missed, so with a deep breath, she opened the door to the purple bar, and was stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes tried adjusting to the dim light, but she knew that face anywhere. A few feet ahead, sitting center on the wall in a framed photo was a picture of her husband and the crew of the Northwestern. Her eyes began to well up, as the sorrow took a new, dramatic turn.


Edgar hadn't seen Emh, she was hidden behind a camera man, Darlington and the darkness the corner held. But she knew it was him, his stature, the hair, the voice, inside of her, parts were prickling with giddiness as other rang confused and alarmed. Darlington looked to Emh, but didn't make the correlation as he was in dreamy wonder looking at the men all gathered, laughing and drinking, despite this dawn taping. Irish coffee was the morning drink, but to her delight, she heard him pipe up "black for me," and watched as the other crew and captains around him nodded in silent acknowledgment. To some degree Emh surmised they all probably had a dependency to alcohol but none like the problem Edgar openly admitted to having.

And just like that, he sat down, next to Sig and at that moment she was able to get visual confirmation of what she already knew; it was him. He hadn't necessarily been coy or deceitful about hiding who he was, Emh realized, but he never breathed a word that he was some sort of celebrity, either. She wondered why he hadn't mentioned it, but all the same, to her, nothing had changed. It was still Edgar that she had a little faint pitter patter for, and someone that she enjoyed time with.

As the sun began to rise even further, Emh realized within a handful of minutes, she would be found out, her hiding space would soon illuminate with the shining light, and he would have a direct line of vision to her. She felt nervous, there wasn't a way out without being seen and the set was quiet except for their on-going conversations. Emh wasn't surprised to see how easily Edgar partook in the conversations that flowed, the obscene language more comical than offensive, and his animated stories made her smile all the more.

Noticeably absent though, was Edgar's wedding band. He had had it on and off throughout their week of adventures, but today it marked a statement, she thought. This was being filmed, this was something millions of people would see, and yet the gold band that he had somewhere in his possession was lacking its place, wrapped around his left ring finger. His brother, Sig, as Emh realized was the blonde who came in earlier, had his ring on standing bright and proud against his light complexion. Andy, too for that matter, but around the table, those were the only two that had a wedding band on. It sent questions flooding through her mind, ones that perhaps in due time he would answer. Or maybe after he saw her here, things would crumble and he would avoid her. A panic set in for a brief moment as she tried to bed down the anxiety "he wouldn't do that" she convinced herself.

"So Edgar, we've seen on the show in the past season some difficult times making their way onto the boat. This season, you also stormed off," Mike said, clearly holding nothing back, purposefully trying to get a rise out of him, "have things smoothed over with you and your crew, or is it likely we won't see you back for another season?"

Edgar laughed it off, "you trying to start something Mike?" He retorted, half-heartedly. "In all seriousness, yes, there's been a lot of drama in my life both on and off the boat," he said, taking a sip of his coffee as he looked up.

…At the same time, the light began to illuminate Emh's corner. Slightly moving out of the direct sunshine so she wouldn't be blinded, she inadvertently moved in his direct line of vision. And in a moment of "oh my God" Edgar's eyes locked with Emh's.

And in that moment, several things happened: Edgar began to stutter, blinked his eyes, then shook his head, turning to Mike and laughed "I'm sorry, what was the question..." the crew looked around to each other and then to him. Sig furrowing his brow, turned to look to his brother, and laughed "he's just playing, go on, tell them, everything is cool between us," Sig said, trying to save face for his brother, not exactly sure what was happening in that moment.

"Yeah, what he said" Edgar laughed, visibly uncomfortable, which in turn wore off on the rest of the captains who were exchanging a look of perplexity. In normal Phil fashion, he would have piped up with some sort of sarcastic prompt, but it didn't even seem like the place to him, to make sure a note. Mike saw Keith give the signal to head toward break, and so with that, he did. As they called cut, Edgar stood from the table and jutted off to the right, passing right in front of the camera, Darlington and of course, Emh. He looked her straight in the eye, all emotion or expression wiped from his face; he headed out a back exit, and immediately lights a cigarette.

"What was that all about?" Mike expressed, looking around to everyone and then to Sig.

"Hey, don't look at me. He's been all fucked up for awhile."

As Darlington turned to speak with Emh, he realized she was gone. Spinning around and trying to locate her, off to the side, he saw a sliver of light left from a closing door, the same one Edgar had stormed out of minutes before. And then finally for Darlington it clicked. "Oh My God…"