For the days that followed, I became subdued. It seemed my mind had decided to take a vacation from all the anxiety that had been eating away at me. So I walked as if in a stupor, having no energy to think like I used to. My replies to others when they addressed me were quiet and short. I did not understand why this happened, but neither did I question why it happened. I simply walked, ate and slept.
I had no way of knowing that Rapunzel noticed all this and she was growing concerned for me. But one day she knocked urgently on my door and almost demanded that I let her in.
"I don't know what's happening to you, Aurora!" she cried, obviously struggling to control her emotions. "Why do you barely speak to me? Have I done something to offend you?"
"No," I said mildly.
"Then why are you behaving like this?"
"Behaving like how?"
"Like the way you're acting now. You're extremely quiet, you barely respond to me when I talk to you! And it's not just me, it's how you act around Belle and Flynn too! Why?"
I looked at Rapunzel, trying to feel sorry. But it seemed my very emotions were numb. Yet deep down, I knew I was hurting her, and I wanted to make amends.
"Rapunzel, I'm sorry. Truly I am. It's not anything you have done. It's . . . me, I suppose. I don't know why, but I feel so lifeless these days. It's as if I'm . . . under a spell." The last words, even as I spoke them, almost made me nervous again. Had another evil fairy cast yet another spell on me? Was I to fall into deathlike slumber again?
Rapunzel brought me out of my thoughts by saying, "You are under no spell, Aurora. You're troubled by something and your anxiety is too overwhelming. So your mind has gone blank."
I regarded Rapunzel the way a sick man might regard a physician giving a diagnosis. "What should I do?" I asked stupidly.
"Tell me what's upsetting you," she demanded.
"I really can't think . . ."
"Make yourself think, Aurora!" Rapunzel looked as if she was going to cry. "In case you're still too dumb to realize this, I'm suffering from whatever's troubling you too! I'm the one who has to watch my friend succumb to mental anguish without even knowing it! I see her losing interest in the things that used to make her happy! And I want to help her, but she won't let me, because she won't even try to help herself! And—And—"
"Rapunzel, you're right!" I blinked rapidly, as if I had just awakened. I became keenly aware of my surroundings. It was as if my blood has been frozen, but now its warmth rushed through me again. And my eyes stopped merely gazing; they once more perceived.
Hearing my friend's distress had banished the fogginess from my mind; I was once again cognizant.
"Rapunzel, I am so sorry! You're right, I am troubled! And I've been too tired and unfocused to fully realize it!" I bit my lip and added, "I'm not sure I should tell you what's upsetting me."
"If you don't tell me, I can't help you," she replied. As if sensing I was about to insist that I wasn't asking for her help, she added, "Don't be proud."
I sighed. "Alright," I said. "But you need to shut my door."
Rapunzel got up and did so. When she came back to sit next to me on the bed, I confessed, "I think I'm either going mad or learning things I don't want to. I'm almost certain Ratcliffe is using his authority for wrong ends! First he banishes Mulan because she teaches me things he'd rather not have me hear. Then he spreads bad opinion of Queen Eudora, as if he's determined to convince us all that we should hate her. I just think that something is dreadfully wrong."
Rapunzel waited a moment, then said simply, "Most of what you're telling me isn't news. We all know Ratcliffe is too obsessed with his authority. But no ill has come of it."
"Shall we wait for ill to do something?" It might have sounded like I was protesting, but the question was genuine.
"Do something? Do what exactly?"
The question caused me to blink dumbly. What plan did I imagine I'd had in mind?
Taking my silence for what it was, Rapunzel asked, "May I put my arm around you, Princess?"
I hated that my friend had to ask me that question. But I nodded and she put her arm comfortingly over my shoulders.
"Maybe we can't understand what's going on or what we should do," she said. "But we can be there for each other. Promise me you won't ever let your mind go blank like that again?"
"I promise," I said, and meant it. I took my friend's hand and squeezed it.
That night I again took up my interest in reading. Deciding to put aside Belle's book for now, I returned to the works of Princess Jasmine. I fell asleep before finishing the chapter, but the last words I remembered reading were,
Fear dulls the mind, much the way darkness forces blindness upon the eyes. But the cry of a good friend pierces through the barrier and tears away the hampering curtain. It is often by the help of a good friend that courage is found at last . . .
. . .
The following morning when I rose, I put on my favorite gown and went slowly downstairs. For my breakfast I ate an apple and a slice of bread dipped in wine.
After breakfast, I went to the king's study, hoping to finally ask Ratcliffe how he would see to my education with Mulan gone. When I arrived outside the door, which was partly open, I looked in and did not see Ratcliffe. But I saw someone bent behind the desk, shuffling through the parchments.
"Flynn!" I whispered hoarsely, for I did not want anyone else to discover him. "What are you doing in here?"
Flynn's head popped up from behind the desk, and when he saw me, the look on his face changed from startled to relieved.
"Hey Princess," he whispered back. "Just viewing some theft targets, be out in a second!"
"Get out of here!" I hissed, coming in and standing next to him behind the desk. "The governor will be furious, and—"
"The governor has something of yours," Flynn interrupted, looking up at me. "I was looking for some valuables in here, but I've been reading some of the papers, and this one is addressed to you."
I stopped. "To me?" I repeated.
Flynn handed me a letter. I could see the letter had already been opened and read, because the wax was old and did not stick well to the parchment. Before I had time to read it, Wiggins surprised us by hurrying into the study.
"My lord Ratcliffe demands the presence of everyone in the castle," he said, bowing. "It is a grave matter that concerns us all! Assemble in the northwest hall immediately." Then he ran (or rather I should say he cavorted) out of the room and down the hallway.
Flynn and I looked at each other. "I thought I was done for," Flynn half-exclaimed. "I thought for sure when he saw me in here, he'd demand to know what I was up to."
"I do not think it occurred to him that he should ask," I said plainly. "Wiggins is really a perfect fool."
Flynn shrugged as if deciding to take my word for it, then dashed out of the study chamber. Running to follow him, I tucked the letter I held in the folds of my gown. I was not sure why, but I did not want Ratcliffe to see it.
. . .
The announcement was delivered like an arrow shot to a young buck. I stood in the northwest assembly hall, behind Governor Ratcliffe as he proclaimed to everyone present that the kingdom was going to war. Queen Eudora had exhibited heinous betrayal of our trust. To think that she should offer peace and then suddenly strike against us!
I stood completely still as I listened to Ratcliffe fire off the accusations: The Frog Queen had slain many knights at an encampment of ours near the river. Three knights had been taken hostage. Doubtless they were suffering torture, and would now have to be avenged.
I willed myself to bear the news quietly as I heard Ratcliffe finish his announcement: "And by the grace of God, we shall triumph! Our army is strong! That Queen of Frogs will see what woe comes to a proud woman who dares to believe she can contend with those who are greater!"
A cry of approval went up from the court, and I watched Ratcliffe raise his arms and bask in the nobles' veneration. At once I thought I might be sick from what I saw. How dare he? I thought. How dare he rejoice in the happening of war! How dare he use it to gain status!
I thought of King Stefan, and how things would be different if he were here. He would never delight in the future vanquishing of another monarch. He would ride bravely to war if he had to, but he would never be happy over it as if it were good fortune. I knew this even if I had not long been acquainted with him. Seeing the contrast between him and Ratcliffe made me realize how much I respected my estranged father.
The air felt cold as I angrily made my way through the northwest hall. I lost myself in the crowd quickly, wanting to find Belle. When I finally caught sight of her, standing off next to the columns with a few other handmaidens, I took her hand and whispered that I needed to speak to her alone. Without a word, she followed me out, leaving the unsettled crowd behind us.
We still did not speak until we had reached my room. After shutting the door, I spoke quietly. "I don't have a good feeling about this, Belle. I fear for our people."
"As do I," she replied earnestly. "But more than that, I fear my own inability to understand why this should happen. To me it feels as though—"
"Something is not right," I finished for her.
She nodded.
"Why would Nénupharian soldiers attack our knights?" I thought out loud. "Is there some grudge between us and Nénuphar?"
"Perhaps we can find that out together," Belle suggested, her brown eyes shining a little. "If tomorrow you will meet me in the library, we can search through books about Nénupharian history and politics. We might learn something, and if we do, it could explain everything happening now."
"That is a start," I conceded. "But in the meantime, I must speak to Ratcliffe about protecting our people. I've read about terrible things happening to commoners during war. They are not protected by castle walls, and they have no armor. Enemy soldiers might burn their villages. They might kill all the men and . . ."
I let that final sentence go unfinished.
"Ratcliffe has strengthened our defenses and added to our army since he came in power," Belle reminded me. "I'm sure we're well-equipped to defend the people."
I decided to let that statement comfort me momentarily. "Thank you, Belle," I said, opening the door for her. "Do me a favor; fetch me a basin of water and a clean cloth." Then I quickly added, "If you please?"
Belle tried to suppress a smile, and I knew she was laughing at me. "You still forget you need only command, Your Highness," she said. "It's one of the many reasons I admire you." Then she disappeared through the doorway.
I closed the door and leaned against it, sighing quietly. I desperately needed to sort out my thoughts.
That's when I remembered the letter hidden in my gown.
