Chapter Nine:

"Why did you do it?" The blonde asked calmly.

The brunette shook her head, placing her face between her hands as she sat in the couch. She was tired, her emotions running her ragged.

"I don't know… I was…"

"I swear to God, if you say drunk I am leaving right now…"

The brunette jumped at the raised voice, "I was going to say stupid…"

The blonde sighed and sat on the chair opposite, "Something wasn't working for it to happen in the first place…"

The brunette shook her head yet again, "Don't say that…"

"You know it's true, and I don't know what it is… but you do," the blonde was barely audible.

The brunette didn't speak. She could hear the water dripping from the tap slowly, the sound of a car horn on the street below, a door slam further down the corridor. She looked back up at the waiting blue eyes.

The blonde edged closer to the edge of the seat, forcing the eye contact to continue, "Please, just be honest…"

The brunette felt the ache in her heart and remembered why they were there in the first place. She swallowed, "Everything is the same, and nothing is new… it's just…."

*****************

Arizona stood back feeling Christina behind her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the dark eyes watching her, the eyes filled with anger, hurt and confusion, yet hollow at the same time.

Callie watched the confusion and shock dance in the blue eyes before her and couldn't stop looking. She felt weak and fell to her chair.

"I tried to stop her," Yang stated to a glaring Bailey who continued to reprimand her with her eyes. "She's too fast…"

"I… I… I… I need to…" Arizona stuttered as she tried to turn away. "I ca- I can't… Callio… I-I-I need to go."

Arizona moved through the crowd that had gathered, feeling the walls tumble around her. She wanted to escape the hospital, escape those dark eyes. She felt tears spring to her eyes as she ran down the stairs not caring who she knocked over or ignored. It wasn't until Derek Shepherd caught her that she finally stopped running.

"Dr. Robbins," Shepherd said gently. He studied her pale face and knew he was too late to tell her. "Let's talk…"

"I can't… I need air…"

*******************

Callie couldn't take her eyes away from the emptiness that once had Arizona standing in it. She knew she was not going to be able to avoid the blonde, but she wasn't prepared for the storm of emotions she currently felt as she saw her.

"Torres!" Bailey called gently. "Do you want some coffee?"

Callie shook her head before turning her attention to the sleeping boy in the bed. Paco had not woken since they landed and she was grateful for that. She knew he was petrified, strange country, different language and no familiar faces. Callie couldn't get Ines through customs; it was a battle enough just getting Paco through.

She saw people staring at her through the window and was relieved when Bailey noticed them too. She wore a ghost of a smile as she heard Bailey yell at them to be doctors for once in their lives.

Callie took the small pale hand in between hers, bringing it to her lips, kissing it softly. Bailey couldn't help but watch her. This was not the Dr. Torres, she remembered. This was a shell of the feisty doctor that used to walk the walls of the hospital.

"Eh… well he's stable. We'll get him settled for the night and then have his CT and MRI done tomorrow."

Callie nodded.

"You should go home…" Bailey realised the error of her words and saw Callie smirk. "Where are you staying?"

Before Callie could answer, the door opened and Mark Sloan walked in. He was surprised to see his friend after all this time.

"I heard… God, it's good to see you." He said with glee as he pulled her into a hug.

*******************

Christina and Owen walked into the apartment and immediately noticed the cigarette smoke. They saw the blonde standing at the window, staring out at the world as she inhaled on her cigarette.

"You smoke?" Christina before Owen nudged her. She rolled her eyes, "You talk to her?"

"You're her room-mate," Owen argued.

"You're nicer," Christina volleyed.

"I can hear you," the blonde interrupted the couple. She looked back at them. She saw concern etched in the redhead's face and apathy in Christina's. "It's okay, I am not going to break… it was just a shock."

"And you're smoking because…" Christina added disapprovingly.

Arizona raised an eyebrow, "If it were Burke?"

Christina threw her hands in the air, "Smoke away… want alcohol?"

Arizona shook her head.

"Sleeping pills?"

"Christina!" Owen scolded.

Christina looked at him, "What? It'll help her sleep and not think."

Arizona smiled a ghost of a smile, before stubbing her cigarette out. She looked at the two wanting to say something but there were no words. Her phone started ringing again and she sighed as she shut it off.

"I think I might go to bed," the blonde announced without giving either person eye contact. She walked straight past them into her bedroom, closing the door quietly. She took a deep breath as she pulled her hair free. She lay on the bed listening to the quiet murmurs from the living room before the knock on the door. She sat upright, nerves marching around her stomach.

She reacted to the gentle tapping on her door and saw Christina push it open, "It's Marsh… I mean Lily."

Arizona sighed in relief and disappointment before shaking her head. Christina nodded and closed the door. The blonde listened to the mumbling continue before the door closed again. She pulled the pillow close to her chest, closing her eyes only seeing the hollowness that was once filled with joy.

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Callie pulled back from Mark's hug, suddenly feeling like a stranger. She smiled weakly at him. He nodded at Bailey who left the room ushering the nurse out with a simple stare. He sat down next to her, studying her.

She looked at him and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"You look like shit," he offered before looking at the sleeping boy. "Who's the kid?"

"Paco," she answered quietly without offering more. Mark nodded, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"Callie, where the hell have you been? No one knew where you were and your parents were not talking… you just vanished…"

Callie sat back and sighed, "Mark, I have just been through hell… I'm still in hell, and I'm still trying to just figure out how to breathe let alone answer questions…"

Mark saw her tremble and pulled her into a hug, not speaking anymore.

He felt her cry into his chest, clutching his white coat in her fist. It wasn't until he heard her mumbling that he pulled back.

"What did you say?"

Callie shook her head, "Her hair is longer…"

Mark nodded and looked at the kid, "Paco?"

Callie nodded, taking the sleeping boy's hand in her own, "Yeah, he was hit by a car… I am hoping Shepherd can fix him…"

The two old friends sat in silence, one not knowing what to say and the other not wanting to say anything.

"She looks good," Callie murmured.

******************

Arizona woke up suddenly, feeling the sun rays peer through the window. She hugged the pillow closer as she readjusted her eyes to the natural and unnatural light of the ceiling lamp. She felt the pit return to her stomach as she recalled the recent events. She sat up, feeling unsteady. Her fingers went to her scrub top, pulling it over her head. She stood slowly and carefully, willing herself to walk to the bathroom. She turned on the shower, before freeing herself off her clothing. She stepped under the hot water, and watched her skin turn red. She felt hurt turn to anger turn to frustration turn to nothing back to hurt again. She fought the urge to cry and scream as she relived those moments of pain over the last year. It was when she felt calm that she realised the water was freezing. She stepped out of the shower, shivering as she looked at her reflection.

"I am awesome!" she whispered to herself.

*******************

Callie watched the sunrise between the buildings of Seattle, bouncing of the glass. She could hear the gentle footsteps of Seattle Grace staff outside the door, and the soft murmuring from the little boy. He had woken earlier and it took all her energy to calm him and reassure him, and even as he closed his eyes she saw disbelief in his eyes. She closed her eyes as she stirred her cold coffee, seeing the hurt and disbelief dance in blue eyes. She opened them, allowing herself be basked in the light of a new day. She felt everything and nothing, she felt regret and guilt, home and alien, new and old, terrified and calm, desperate and alone, and she couldn't control the feelings as they somersaulted through her over and over. She closed her eyes again, breathing in deeply, as she pulled out the simple necklace from her pocket. She kissed it, the only remnant of the blonde that she could keep and call hers. She looked over at the bed as she returned the necklace to her pocket, and nodded.

"I'm okay," she whispered to nobody.

******************

The blonde doctor stood at the door watching. She saw Callie sleeping, her head resting on the bed, using her arm as a pillow. She looked uncomfortable but protective of the sleeping boy. The dark-haired woman had lost some weight, her wrinkled clothes loose on her. Her hair was untamed, long and wild as it cascaded down her back. Her face almost pale, her dark complexion haunted by tracks of old and new tears. The brunette looked as if she had been through battles, and yet still Arizona found her miraculous. She approached the bed to pick up the chart and glanced at the young boy who was stirring. She stepped closer to him, smiling softly as he opened his eyes.

"Hey," she uttered tenderly, as she noticed the dark-haired woman had also woken. She met dark eyes.

"He doesn't speak English," Callie said after what seemed an eternity of silence. Arizona nodded, begging herself to remain professional. She could feel the eyes watching her as she continued to read the chart. She looked up at the waiting eyes, and swallowed.

"Your nails?" she said, without control.

Callie looked at her fingers, confused. Arizona cleared her throat, "No nail varnish…"

Callie smiled lightly, "No nail varnish."