Disclaimer: I don't own anything


Monkeys of the Hidden Temple

Naruto stood next to Kim's locker trying to reach an itch beneath the bandage wrap on his arm with a pencil as Kim sorted through the books in her bag.

"Remind me of why I'm decked out in all these bandages, along with a fake walking boot and arm sling?" questioned Naruto as he finally scratched the itch beneath his arm wrap.

"Because, there's fake video I circulated to the squad of Shego showing up and taking revenge for all the stunts you pulled in her body." replied Kim casually.

Naruto let out an appreciative whistle, "Nice cover, thanks! I can't believe they bought that fake set up you gave them the other day. As if I'd accept anything other than free ramen from you as compensation for a job well done."

"Right." dryly replied Kim as she opened her locker. "I've got bigger fish to fry. My family is having another family game night, and I'll be stuck with Cousin Larry."

"Maybe, I can help with that. A baby bald eagle got lost up at the Northwest Wild Life Preserve. They could use some help tracking it down." informed Wade as he appeared on the screen."

"Done and Done!" exclaimed Kim as she pumped her fist.

Naruto frowned, "Kim, you can't flake out on family to go save some bird. I can do it."

"But it's Larry! You don't understand what it like to have a cousin who's a complete weirdo." proclaimed Kim.

Naruto just gave Kim a deadpan look.

She tried a different tactic, "But, you and Ron actually have things in common! You love old TV shows."

Naruto scoffed, "Who doesn't love old TV shows, Kim."

"I'll pay for dinner once we get back." offered Kim.

Naruto grinned and immediately shook her hand, "Done and done!"

Kim narrowed her eyes at him, knowing she'd been had, "Well, played sir, well played...No ramen, though."

Naruto shrugged, "Been a while since we hit up Bueno Nacho."

"What are you going to do about all that?" questioned Kim, indicating his wraps and bandages.

Naruto looked up and spotted Junior across the hall, holding a freshly warmed cup of instant ramen, "Junior! Hit me!"

The blond tossed the cup of ramen through the air and Naruto reached up and grabbed it. Ripping off the lid, he gulped it down and in what can be described as a cross between Popeye gulping down Spinach and a Saiyan eating a sensu bean, burst free from his medical gear.

"Wow...unreal..my gosh...This is amazing! I feel incredible! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can win! I feel great! I can do this!" shouted Naruto as he smirked before suddenly throwing his hands up in the air. "Yes! I'm home! I'm alive! This is all a miracle! I'm awake! I'm wide awake!" He suddenly vanished down the hall in blur cackling madly, "Mwahahaha! Hahahahaha! Hang on little eagle, here I come!"

The hall was completely silent, everyone staring at the rapidly vanishing form of Naruto with a dumbfounded look.

Vinnie broke the silence when he turned to Junior and said, "I'll have what he's having."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The trek to the great Northwest ended up with Team Possible hanging hundreds of feet above the ground as they clung to the rocky face of a tall mountain. The beeping from Naruto's watch grew louder and louder as he climbed up the face of the cliff.

"We're right on top of it KP." he called out to his red headed companion a couple yards up and to the right of him.

"Where are you hiding?" muttered Kim, as she looked around, not seeing any spots the bird could be.

"This would be a lost easier if we could just run up the damn cliff face. Wade you need to invent anti-gravity boots." muttered Naruto.

Wade face appeared on the video link as he scoffed, "I'm good, but I'm not that good."

"Well how about those hover boots boots from Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time?" suggested Naruto.

Wade rolled his eyes, "Unless you have some hidden formula on hand to balance Maxwell's equations I think not."

Naruto took another shot in the dark, "The Pegasus boots from A Link to the Past?"

"Newton only made three laws." deadpanned Wade.

Naruto scratched the back of his head, "A pair of PF Flyers?"

"Does this look like 1950 to you?" exclaimed an incredulous Wade.

"Why does if feel like you somehow had a pre-written down set of responses for these questions?" deadpanned Naruto.

Wade shrugged, "You go off on the same tangent every time you watch reruns of the 90's Spiderman cartoon."

Naruto's eyes lit up, "Oh yeah! Good ol' Spidey! He'd have done this mission in less than a minute! Hey Wade you should-"

"Naruto! Focus!" yelled Kim.

"Alright, alright..." grumbled the blond as he reached up with his hand into the next crevice in the mountain, only for a part of it to give way and reveal a small opening. "Rufus!"

The naked mole rat let out a yawn as he popped out of Naruto's pocket, crawled up his arm, and hopped into the small area. In seconds he managed to clear out some more loose rocks to reveal the tiny cave the eaglet was hiding in before retreating back the friendly confines of Naruto's pocket. Kim and Naruto peeked inside to find the eaglet resting at the back of the small opening, it's slightly damaged left wing having left it stranded.

"I got ya little fella. Let's go get that wing of yours fixed up." whispered Kim as she reached in and pulled out the eaglet, the tracking beacon on it's anklet marking it as the one they were looking for. She placed the baby bird in the pouch on her hip, before moving to repel back down the Mountain with Naruto. Trouble manifested when the pin holding Kim's repelling rope dislodged, sending her in a free fall down the side of the mountain.

With no hesitation Naruto unbuckled himself from his own line and leaped off the side of the mountain. Looking like a professional diver, Naruto contorted his body in midair so that he was holding his legs to his head before flowing into a natural dive. A short distance below Kim and managed to gather herself during her fall and was just about the pull the chord on her parachute, when Naruto grabbed her and pulled her into a fireman carry before pulling his own chute. They safely gliding the rest of the way down to the ground, Naruto making a smooth landing before disconnected his parachute.

Kim gave him a pout when he place her on the ground, "Thanks, but I could have pulled my own chute."

Naruto shrugged, "I just felt like having a little fun."

Kim just shook her head, "Figures."

A red park ranger pickup suddenly pulled up to them and a heavy set black woman in a ranger uniform stepped out. She gave them a stern look until Kim pulled out the baby eagle and handed him over to her, "Here is he is, all safe and sound."

The park ranger gave them a warm smile, "You two saved a life today! Excellent work!"

Kim waved off the praise, "It was no big."

Naruto nodded in agreement, "It's what we do."

The Kimmunicator beeped and Kim answered.

"Mission Accomplished Wade!" exclaimed Kim with a salute. She then realized it wasn't Wade on the line,"Dad?"

"You are in big trouble little lady." scolded James. "You've missed Family Game night Kim. You know, the night where the whole family gets together?"

"It's still day here..." nervously replied Kim. "Bummer, I'm missing out?"

"Yes, and bummer for Cousin Larry as well. He will be so disappointed." stated James.

The park ranger tried get her some leniency, "Don't be too frustrated with her sir, she helped save a life today. Your daughter is very courageous."

"Yeah, she is something..." James let out a sigh as he scratched the back of his head. "Well, I'll let you off the hook this time. Guess I have to go break the news to Larry..."

Kim put on her best dejected and sad face, "Tell him I feel awful about it dad..."

"I know you do Kimmie." replied Dr. Possible before he hung up.

Kim let out a whoop of joy, "Yes! Sorry cousin, maybe next time."

The park ranger smirked at her, "Cousin a complete loser?"

"You don't know the half of it." muttered Kim as she involuntary shivered. "He's creepy."

"You've been complaining about Larry, since...well since forever. What's so bad about him?" asked Naruto.

Kim wrapped an arm around his shoulder, "Do you have all night?"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

When Kim meant all night, she meant all night. Naruto could have sworn he dreamed of her complaining about Larry and then woke up to Kim calling him on his cell and continuing where she left off from his dream. He stifled a yawn as he leaned against the lockers while she continued her ridiculously long list of faults for her cousin, "At game nights he goes on and on about these creepy conventions where everyone dresses up-"

"Are we talking about Comic-Con? That's actually considered cool and only happens once a year." interrupted Naruto.

"Larry attends at least twenty-five conventions a year." deadpanned Kim.

Naruto suddenly gained a look of horror before quickly shaking it off, "Carry on."

"Now he's into this stupid fortress game. Last time he spent the entire time telling me everything there is to know about it." complained Kim.

Naruto shrugged, "Ron's into that game, he told me it was pretty good."

Kim rolled her eyes, "The fact that your weird cousin likes it too only proves my point.

"Just because his motto is 'Never be normal' doesn't make him that weird." countered Naruto.

Kim merely raised an eyebrow at him.

Naruto gave up, "Yeah, I got nothing."

"I've got something!" chimed in Wade as he appeared on the monitor in Kim's locker. "There's been a hit on the site from a Lord Monty Fiske."

"The world famous archaeologist." supplied Kim.

"How did you know?" asked Wade.

"I saw documentary about him on the knowing channel." smugly replied Kim.

Naruto scoffed, "And you have the nerve to call other people weird."

"Lord Fiske has discovered the location of a rare artifact and he needs you guys to help him get it." informed Wade as the printer printed off the mission summary.

"Sounds fun." replied Kim with a grin as the read the paper before showing it to Naruto. "Who can give us a ride?"

"Cambodia?" muttered as Naruto's eyes lit up. "For this one, I have something."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The black and grey stealth jet of the 142nd Paratrooper Division soared through the skies above the jungles of southeast Asia.

Naruto gave a salute to the man in charge, "Thanks for the lift Colonel."

His fellow blond gave him a salute right back, "After you saved my captured men by dosing the enemy camp with that sneezing and itching powder, it's an honor and privilege."

Naruto let a chuckle, "Thank your old retired buddy, Colonel Briggs. Taught me everything I know at Tough Enough Summer Military Academy."

"Is it true you're behind the Nitro section added to the playbook?" whispered the cadet sitting next to him.

Naruto smirked, "Your security clearance isn't high enough for me to answer that question."

Kim rolled her eyes, "You've been chomping at the bit to use that line."

A short time later the teen pair found themselves navigating the thick foliage of a Cambodian Jungle. Kim lead the way with Naruto following along behind her engrossed in Guns-N-Roses blasting through his headphones, "Welcome to the Jungle! We got fun and games! We go everything you want, honey, we know the names..."

Before the blond could burst into a air guitar solo, Kim yanked out an earphone to get his attention as she pointed up ahead, "Look! A monkey temple!"

A short distance in front of them were the recently discovered ruins of an old monkey temple, the entrance having been carved into the shape of a Monkey's head.

Naruto grinned, "A monkey temple, oh man. Ron would be going absolutely bananas right row."

Kim responded with a dry laugh at his pun. The were soon approached by a pair of men, one short and stocky, the other tall with dark hair.

"Kim Possible, I presume." greeted the tall dark haired man. "I am Lord Monty Fiske, and this is my valet Bates."

"This is my partner Naruto." responded Kim.

"This is so great! We're about to become legends of the hidden temple!" joked Naruto.

Fiske and Bates gave him a puzzled look, "Legends of the hidden temple?"

Naruto gave him a stunned look, "Come on, you know! The old game show! Kim and I were on it once!"

The blond and redhead suddenly bumped fists and did a funky secret hand shake before simultaneously announcing, "Blue Barracudas!"

Naruto's voice suddenly dropped into a dead on impersonation of Olmec from the show, "In through the store room, over the pit of despair, beneath the crypt and after the lair of mandarin hand, you will find the shrine of the silver monkey..."

"It's actually a jade monkey." corrected Fiske.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at him, "No, it's the shrine of the silver monkey."

Kim cut off the impending argument before it could get started, "He's talking about the artifact."

Fiske pulled out a map and pointed out a large rock formation on the top left corner, "The jade statue is supposed to reside in here."

Kim pointed the portion of the map where four monkey statues were shown glowing together, "What is that?"

"Local legend says that placing this statue in precise alignment with three others will generate a mystical monkey power." informed Monty as he folded up the map and placed it in his pocket. "Utter nonsense of course."

Kim and Naruto walked up to the temple entrance as Naruto pulled out a quarter, "Call it in the air."

Kim smirked, "Tails never fails."

Naruto snatched the flipping coin out of the air on it's way back down and slammed it on to the back of his hand to reveal the face of George Washington, "Except against me. Do I get a life pendants for the temple guardians?"

Everyone just gave him a deadpan look.

Naruto rolled his eyes as he walked through the entrance, "Tough crowd-Whoaaaa!"

A trap door opened up beneath him on his second step, sending him sliding down a hidden passageway.

"Wade, clock me!" shouted Naruto as he tapped his watch on the way down.

The blond landed foot first in an enclosed room with a high sealing. On each of the four walls was a large stone monkey head with a mouth somehow opening and closing mechanically. Naruto instinctively pulled out his grappling gun and fired straight up. The moment he did so, the trap of the room revealed itself as the walls started closing in on him. The grappling hook embedded into the ceiling high above and pulled him straight up through the enclosing walls. His foot just barely escaped before the ground below him closed up. Next he navigated a ladder through a room with spikes protruding through the wall at random intervals. The climb finally ended at a the beginning of a narrow corridor that was lined from wall to wall with more stone monkey heads.

"Twenty bucks on flaming arrows..." muttered Naruto.

The moment he stepped forward, flaming arrows shot out of the statue's eyes, and concentrated blast fire fired out of their mouths. Naruto put his head down and made a full on sprint down the corridor, emerging completely unscathed.

He turned back and scoffed, "You'll have to do better than that to catch the fastest man in Middleton."

The corridor ended at a set of stairs the lead to another monkey headed style opening on the next floor. Once he reached the top step, he was forced to take a step back to avoid waling right into a writhing pit of vicious snakes. Just beyond the snake pit there was a drop that lead to a pit of spikes, where at the bottom the jade monkey statue sat on a stone pedestal.

"Someone call for an exterminator?" exclaimed Naruto with a grin as he gassed the snakes with a stink bomb before using the grappling gun to safely swing over the pit before slowly lowering himself down next to the statue in the spike pit.

"Haha! The shrine of the jade monkey! No, it's just not the same. Silver monkey sounds way cooler." muttered Naruto.

The instant he picked up the statue, the spikes and statue pedestal all sunk into floor, leaving it completely flat as it suddenly tilted and sent Naruto sliding down another passage the dumped him right back at the entrance to the temple where Kim, Naruto, and Bates were waiting.

"Well done Mr. Stoppable! I shall see to that the museum recognizing your heroics efforts." exclaimed Monty as he and bates rushed over to examine the statue.

Naruto wasn't paying them any concern as he tapped his watch."Yeah, sure. Whatever. Wade, time?"

"Two minutes and seventeen seconds." replied the young genius.

Kim pumped her fist, "Yes!"

"Oh, come on! There is no way!" exclaimed Naruto in disbelief.

Wade shrugged, "Sorry, Kim's record of Two minutes and fifteen seconds still stands."

Naruto frowned, "Don't get to excited Kim, you still lost us the Legends of the Hidden Temple. Who goes through the crypt on the way out? You should have swung across the room and taken the top door."

"I wouldn't have mattered if someone didn't cost us a half pendant of life in The Temple Games." quipped Kim.

"Don't try to pin that on me. It was Nick Arcade all over again!" retorted Naruto.

"For the last time, that was not my fault! The dumb game was rigged! The stupid temple too!" indignantly yelled Kim.

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Yeah, just like all the others."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The group had set up camp for the night amidst the jungle. Bates and Lord Fiske had their own tent, while Naruto and Kim were curled up in sleeping bags next to the campfire.

Things were not sitting right with Naruto, "Something is up with that Fiske guy. The map, the mystical monkey mumbo jumbo, and the creepy way he was fondling the statue..."

Kim rolled over and let out a huff, "He's well respected archaeologist. He also has a royal title, let it go."

Naruto scoffed, "Which means absolutely nothing. Give me a credit card and you can be Lady Kim Possible in under forty-eight hours."

Kim yawned, "Whatever. Just go to sleep."

There was a rustling in the bushes and they both sat up fully alert.

"Someone's here..." whispered Kim.

Their eyes darted around the campsite until they spotted a hooded figure exiting the tent with the monkey statue.

"Hooded Ninja Dattebayo!" exclaimed Naruto with stars in his eyes.

"Hnk! Yeah!" squeaked Rufus, he in the same state.

"He's getting away with the statue!" shouted Kim as she leaped out of her sleeping bag to engage their silent foe.

Despite holding the statue in one hand, the ninja thief managed to fight Kim to a stand still, blocking and avoiding her kung-fu strikes at every turn. Seeing the ninja focused completely on Kim, Naruto decided to tried to capitalize by unleashing a spinning kick from his blind-spot. The hooded foe in one fluid motion twisted out the way at a nearly impossible angle, grabbed Naruto's leg, and threw him into Kim. The teen duo when tumbling across the ground as the got tangled together in a pile of limbs and sleeping bags. With Kim and Naruto disabled he dropped a smoke bomb and vanished from sight.

"His smoke bomb disappearing skills are unparallelled!" exclaimed Naruto. "And he saw right thrown my new move!"

"Your new move needs a little work." dryly remarked Kim as she tried to extract herself from the blond.

Naruto let out a groan of pain as Kim inadvertently kneed him in the crotch, "Hey watch the knee!"

The redhead winced, "Sorry!"

As she shifted around in another way he let out a gasp, "An elbow too! In the same spot? Come on! Give a guy break!"

"Really sorry!" added Kim apologetically.

At Naruto's shout, Bates and Fiske had rushed out of their tents to see what was going on.

"What's all this then?" asked Monty.

"The jade monkey was stolen." informed Kim.

"How awful! News must have gotten out about the discovery!" exclaimed Monty. "Oh rot! If only your bravery was not wasted."

Bates shook his head, "Just a terrible tragedy, mi'lord."

Kim let out a sigh of disappointment while from his spot on the ground, Naruto merely narrowed his eyes at what he perceived to be a shitty acting job by Lord Fiske and his associate.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

As Mai Stoppable sipped her morning coffee while flipping through her case reports from the hospital at the breakfast table, she kept taking glances out of the corner of her eye at her oddly stoic son. The blond was usually an absolute chatterbox at breakfast, often babbling about whatever mission he and Kim were on the previous night.

Right as she was about ask if something was wrong, Naruto slurped down the rest of his cereal and suddenly shot up out of his seat and declared, "Mom! Dad! I think I've uncovered a Ninja Conspiracy! Ow!"

Mai groaned, 'Ninjas, I should have known. Only one obsession gets him like that...'

His dad smacked him across the back of the head with a rolled up newspaper as he walked by, "No conspiracy theories at the breakfast table."

Naruto grabbed his backpack and quickly followed him out the door trying to explain, "But there was a real ninja! And he was awesome, even better than me! And I think it's the Lord Fiske guy..."

Mai just shook her head with a small smile as the door closed behind him, "That boy..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

At the Possible household Kim faced her standard morning questioning from her father as she sat down at the table while her mother finished up over at the stove.

"Morning, honey! How was Cambodia?" asked James.

Kim shrugged, "Mixed results. Good news, Naruto retrieved a priceless historical artifact from a booby trapped temple. Better news, my retrieval record is still intact."

"That a girl!" praised James.

Kim smile turned upside down, "Then some hooded ninja stole it."

"Well, that's just like those darn ninjas." grunted James.

Kim let out a sigh of annoyance, "Naruto seems to have some crazy theory that Lord Fiske is behind the whole thing."

"Is he?" asked Tim as he and Jim sat down at the table.

Kim scoffed, "He's both a respected Lord and Archaeologist. I doubt he's a master criminal."

"Ninja's are masters of deception and disguise. Perhaps the Lord Fisk is all front and he is the hooded ninja." suggested Jim.

Kim rolled her eyes, "Did you miss the point where I said he was a respected Lord?"

Tim scoffed, "Naruto found a way to buy that Lord title on the net for three easy payments."

James narrowed his eyes, "Your principal was said to be departing away to England for the next month for some court of Lordship ceremony. Boys..."

Tim gave Jim a look before the both shrugged, "We don't have the kind of allowance to waste on that elaborate a prank."

"Well, I do have some news that should cheer you up." stated James with a grin. "Cousin Larry felt so bad about you missing out on family game night, Aunt June invited us all over for dinner Saturday!"

Kim spewed the orange juice she had been drinking across the kitchen table, forcing her brothers to duck underneath it to avoid being drenched. Anne raised an eyebrow at her daughters response to the invitation.

"I wouldn't want to impose." stammered Kim between coughs.

"Oh, it's no trouble at all! June says Larry never has any friends over." replied James.

"I wonder why..." muttered all three Possible children.

"So said, you don't have to allowance to waste on that kind of prank. You contracted it out to Naruto, didn't you!" accused James.

"Look at the time! Gotta go!" exclaimed the twins as they vanished from the table.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Kim's sour mood from news of her return trip to Larryville, lasted the entire school day. Not even a good after school meal was cheering her up.

"I can't believe I've been sucked back into loserville..." mumbled Kim as she picked at the fries in front of her. She looked up across the table at Naruto, who paid her no mind as he chowed down, "Do you have any sympathy for my situation or are you content to just stuff your face?"

Naruto gave her an offended look, "Kim! It's Rocko's Chicken and Waffles! It's one of the two things in the world that tastes so good it makes you wanna slap you mama!"

Across the restaurant a 'SLAP' was heard.

"Charlie!" exclaimed the mother of seven-year-old as he stared at her with glazed expression.

"Sorry, mommy." replied the boy once he regain his whits.

"See, what I mean?" quipped Naruto.

A convenient beeping of the Kimmunicator saved Kim from anymore idiocy, "What up Wade?"

"I managed to pull up some more info on that jade monkey." informed Wade before he took a sip of his soda. "The temple was one of four built by the followers of monkey kung fu. Each temple had a jade monkey."

Naruto let out an amused snort, "Monkey Kung-fu? Seriously?"

Wade nodded, "Seriously. According to legend, when the four statues were assembled together, they gave the warriors a mystical monkey power."

Kim recognized the symbol Wade pulled up on the Kimmunicator, "That's same symbol from the map that Lord Fiske had. But, why separate the monkeys?"

"They didn't want just anybody walking in and grabbing the mystical monkey power-up. That would just be plan irresponsible." quipped Naruto.

"Maybe, the thief believed the legend..." surmised Kim.

Naruto scoffed, "It could be more than a legend. On our weird scale, mystical monkey power rates as like a four out a ten."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Across the pond, Lord Fiske sat in his study, flipping through a manuscript when suddenly a chime rang out, signaling tea time, "Bates! BATES!"

"Coming Mi'Lord!" called out Bates as he entered the corridor to the study holding a tray with a fresh pot of tea. "I think it may have been a mistake calling in those teenagers to aid in the retrieval of the jade monkey. Surely you could have handled those primitive traps, if that young lad could?"

"Yes, I could have, but that's not the point." declared Monty as he poured himself a cup of tea. "Masquerading as the ninja created a false trail for anyone trying to track down the statue."

"If you think that is for the best Mi'Lord." remarked Bates as he pulled down on a candle stick next the fireplace, revealing a hidden passageway behind it.

The short tunnel lead to a hidden lair with three monkey statues in a square alignment, and the recently recovered jade monkey statue sitting off to the side. Fiske discarded his robe, leaving himself in a black and red martial arts uniform with a sash. His strange physiology was now full on display, the fur like hair on his hands and feet, along with the pronation of his extremities having been altered to make him more monkey-like.

"Mystical Monkey power is now mine!" proclaimed Monty as he struck a pose.

"Well, you mean that figuratively of course." added Bates.

Monty raised an eyebrow at him, "What do you mean figuratively?"

"Well, that old legend is completely ludicrous." replied Bates.

"Ludicrous? As ludicrous as it was to spend the family fortune to become an abomination of science, a man monkey!" ranted Fiske. "It's a bit of a leap of faith, but ludicrous? Put the monkey in place and see for yourself."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back at Rocko's, Wade dropped another bombshell.

"The leading expert on everything simian is Lord Monty Fiske." informed Wade with a smirk.

Naruto face-palmed, "Oh, come on! Don't tell me it's that obvious! Ron's monkey phobia could have really come in handy on this one."

Kim was lost, "What are you talking about?"

"Fiske! He's behind the whole thing! I bet this was all a set up so he could get the mystical monkey power. And I just happened to be the one to retrieve the statue..." Naruto started banging his head down on the table, "I've created another arch foe!"

"Perhaps we should have a conversation with the man this weekend, before we start labeling him the next great super villain." suggested Kim. The she recalled her fate for the weekend, "Ah, man. I have to dp the Larry thing on Saturday."

"Can't you bail?" asked Wade.

Naruto nodded in agreement, "Yeah, just flake. Use the mission excuse again."

Kim groaned, "All bailing and flaking options denied."

"What if you could be in two places at once?" hinted Wade.

"Perhaps, I could be of some assistance?" announced a second Kim as she walked up to their table.

"I give you the Holo-Kim!" proclaimed Wade. "She's just primed for a field test."

"Really Larry! That's fascinated Larry! Nice Costume Larry!" practiced the Holo-Kim.

Naruto reached out with a wandering hand towards to the Holo-Kim, "I wonder if all the proportions are..."

Kim swatted his wandering hand away and put an end to that train of thought immediately, "No!"

"But I was only-" pleaded Naruto.

"No!" repeated Kim.

Naruto pouted, "You're no fun!"

Kim just shook her head, "The virtual flake is tempting, but I think I'll pass. I promised Dad."

"No worries, Kim. Wade, it's time to initiate the D team!" declared Naruto.

"Yeah! D Team!" squeaked Rufus in agreement.

Kim gave him a puzzled look, "D team?"

Wade shook his head, "Trust me on this Kim, you really don't want to know."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Saturday came quickly and in the castle of Lord Fiske, a ring of the doorbell interrupted preparations for mystical ascension.

"Coming, coming!" shouted Bates as he hurried to answer the doorbell. The short Englishman was surprised to find a quintet of male teenagers at his door. He recognized one of them, but couldn't quite remember the name.

"Eh, who are you again?" asked Bates.

The one on the far left flashed the victory sign, "The Vin-man!"

The large man on the far right pounded his fists on the pavement, creating a loud 'THUD', "Big Mike!"

"Junior!" shouted the long haired blond to the left of center as he flipped his hair.

The fourth was sporting a sombrero and pulled a burrito out of nowhere and inhaled it one bite, "El Rondo!"

Finally in the center, Naruto busted out some sick break dancing moves before finishing with a thumbs up and bright flashy smile, "Captain Naruto!"

Then they all announced together, "Together we are...The Detention Force!"

Gates gave them a befuddled look, "The what?"

"The Detention Force!" they shouted again.

"Why are you here?" asked a befuddled Bates.

"We've got a couple questions for your employer, the expert of all things simian." announced Naruto.

Ron froze at the word simian.

Bates eyes suddenly widened, "Now, I recognize you! You're lad who retrieve the jade monkey! Very good job with those traps."

Ron narrowed his eyes at his cousin, "Naruto, you didn't say anything about monkeys!"

"No real monkeys, only a monkey statue." reassured Naruto.

Ron grabbed at the edges of his sombrero and pulled them down, "Ah man! Bad road, bad road, bad road!"

Junior picked his nose, "What's the big deal about monkeys."

"Ron is the cousin I rescued from the monkey cabin in Camp Wannaweep. His phobia is understandable." clarified Naruto.

Ron dropped to the ground rocking, back and forth, "He just keep flinging it everywhere!"

The rest of them all paled and gave him a look of pity, "Very bad road."

Bates shook his head, "How unfortunate. Follow me, I shall announce your presence."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back in America, Kim was currently wishing she had stones to flake out and use the hollow Kim as a substitute.

Larry pulled another figurine off the shelf, "This is Balthazar cousin of Othar, you can be his character."

Kim gave him her best smile, "Really Larry? Return to Los is just so fascinating!"

"True, but I suddenly have the urge to play a little fortress. Want to cheat code to level Nine?" asked Larry.

Kim's smile stretched as wide as it could, "Sounds great Larry!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"Ah, Naruto Stoppable. Thanks for your work retrieving the Jade Monkey." greeted Monty as Bates lead the five teens into his study.

Ron shivered at the word monkey.

Monty raised an eyebrow, "What's wrong with him?"

Naruto shrugged, "He's got a monkey phobia."

"Oh really..." replied Monty with a grin. He suddenly jumped in Ron's face, "Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!"

"Ah! Ah! Ah!" screamed Ron.

Naruto stepped in between them, "Ease up there tall, dark, and hairy. Lay off El Rondo, that's just not cool. Now, I got a few questions for you about-"

Fiske cut him off, "So, you know all about my little obsession with Tai-Shing-Pek-Kwar."

"Tai- chu -what know?" questioned Junior.

"You're going to play dumb, is that it? Tai-Shing-Pek-Kwar! Monkey Kung-fu!" bellowed Monty.

Vinnie shot him a dead pan look, "Why didn't you just say Monkey Kung-fu?"

"Monkey Kung-fu! A hidden art rooted in all things evil! Bad road!" screamed Ron.

Monty ignored them as he opened up his secret passageway and walked through it, with everyone following him.

"Is it just me, or does this guy walk like a monkey?" muttered Junior.

"I can do much more than that!" declared Monty as he yanked off his robe once they reached the secret room with the statues, revealing his martial arts gi, and banged on his chest like a primate.

Ron was on the verge of break down, "Bad road, bad road, bad road! He walks like a monkey! Plus the fur on hands and feet! He's some kind of freakish Man-Monkey!"

"Yes! I spent the family fortune on these enhancements! All for this moment!" proclaimed Fiske as he leaped in between the four jade statues.

He started laughing, it sounded something like a cross between and evil laugh and an actual monkey laughing. Yellow beams of energy shot out from the eyes of the statues, enveloping the insane archaeologist in a yellow glow and lifting him into the air.

"Bow down to my power!" bellowed Fiske as the glowed died down and he dropped to the ground, assuming a Monkey Kung-fu stance. "I am Monkey Fist!"

The genetically enhanced man-monkey calmly tilted his head to the side, avoiding a pellet of stink gas from Naruto's gas gun. The blond fired off several more rounds consecutively from the semi automatic weapon and Fist dodged each pellet with the grace of a monkey before snatching the last one out of the air and crushing it in his mouth.

"A bit salty for my tastes." he taunted with a smirk.

The boys couldn't believe it.

"He ate the stink!" yelled an incredulous Vinnie.

Junior's jaw dropped, "That's not right man!"

"I'd expect nothing less from this heinous incarnation of evil!" declared Ron. "If you can eat your own stink, you can eat any stink!"

Naruto and Big Mike channeled their inner Ron, "Bad road, Bad road, Bad road!"

"Now, that you all know my secret...it's time for you to die." declared the monkey master.

"I'll stall for some time." commanded Naruto as he removed his watch and tossed it to Vinnie. "Call Wade, I need to know how to stop this guy."

Naruto attacked the genetically and monkey mojo enhanced super-freak with a flying spinning kick that Fist blocked easily before landing a strike that sent Naruto crashing into a pile of antique vases. The blond quickly recovered from the attack and leaped back into the fray, but Monkey Fist had the clear advantage. The unorthodox style of Kung fu enhanced by the mystical power-up seemed too much for the blond to overcome, as Fist constantly had him on the defensive, the blond barely managing to block critical strikes that would have quickly ended the fight.

'I could really go for a tag-team with Kim right about now...' thought Naruto as he leaped to avoid a sweeping kick by Fist.

"Yo, brain dude! We need help over here!" exclaimed Junior.

"This monkey fool got some kind a power up and is takin' it to the boss-man!" added Vinnie.

"I know, I've been monitoring, but there's not much I can do from here. He's immune to stink gas! That's never happened before!" responded Wade.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

While Larry hammered away at level after level of Fortress, Kim had taken to studying up on Lord Fisk via the learning channel documentary on her Kimmunicator.

"Hey, is that real time streaming video?" asked Larry as he stood up from the computer desk.

Kim waved him off, "Yeah, a knowing channel documentary. Nothing you'd be interested in."

"On the contrary, I've been following the career of Lord Monty Fiske for quite some time now. He's one of the few living masters of Tai-Shing-Pek-Kwar." replied Larry.

Kim gave him a blank look, "Tai-what?"

"Monkey Kung Fu." clarified Larry as he adjusted his glasses.

"Monkey Kung Fu..." Kim's eyes widened in shock as Larry snatched the Kimmunicator away from here. "He was the ninja! Naruto's hunch was right all along."

"Can you play games on this thing?" asked Larry as he fiddled with the Kimmunicator. "Hello! Balzar to the Command Center!"

As it started make funny beeping noises, Kim snatched it back from him, "Give me that!"

She immediately called up Wade, "Wade! Lord Monty Fiske stole that icon!"

"I know." replied Wade.

"I think he believes in mystical monkey power!" added Kim.

"Correction, he has mystical monkey power." confirmed Wade.

Kim halted her train of thought, "Wait, what?"

"Fiske already gained the mystical monkey power, and proved the legend true. He now calls himself Monkey Fist. Right now, Naruto is going toe-to-toe with him. And losing badly." informed Wade.

Kim glared at him, "He went alone! Without any back-up!"

Wade raised his hands in a placating manner, "He has back-up. Ron and the D-Crew are with them, but in this case they aren't much help."

Kim's glare didn't let up, "This was your big Team D plan! What are we going to do now? If I was there we could double team him, but now...ah! I don't know what to do!"

"All hope is not lost Kim!" interjected Larry. "I have an idea."

"This isn't one of your video games, Larry! Right now my best friend is getting beaten by a kung fu mutant with bio engineered hands and feet! And mystical monkey powers! And..." Kim then realized what she just said. "What do you got?"

"Wade, you must know how to beat level nine of fortress. To beat the cloud guardian..." began Larry.

Wade caught on, "...you must drink from his enchanted well! Brilliant! I'll pass it on!"

"How is that supposed to help?" questioned an annoyed Kim.

Larry smirked, "It's a geek thing."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back at the Fiske mansion, business was starting to pick up. Deciding to help tip the odds even further in his Lord's favor, Bates grabbed a staff and went to join the fray, only to find his path cut off by Big Mike. Bates hesitantly looked up at the large teenager, who grinned down at him, "Hehehe...let's play thud."

"Ooh! Pain!" groaned Bates as he went flying across the room into a wall as was knocked unconscious.

The Monkey Kung Fu master was picking Naruto apart. He nailed the blond with a strike to the solar plexus, before rolling into a double kick to the face, before grabbing him with his feet and slamming him into the ground. Fist leaped back and beat his chest while making monkey sounds in a taunting fashion.

"Guys! Tell Naruto to go for the mystical monkey power himself!" advised Wade.

Before they could pass the message on, the blond stood up and wiped away the drop of blood leaking out the corner of his mouth.

"Sometimes, to beat the man, you gotta be the man." declared Naruto.

"Or in this case monkey..." added Junior.

Reaching down Naruto yanked back on the oriental rug lining the floor, knocking Monkey Fist off balance. Pouring on the speed the blond made a beeline for the jade monkey alignment. As he fell to the ground, Fist realized what he was about to do.

"No! Mystical Monkey Power is mine alone!" yelled Fist.

"Not anymore!" shouted Naruto as he leaped into the center of the alignment and the yellow beams shot from the eyes of the statue and enveloped him in the yellow glow.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Deep within the subconscious of Naruto's mind there was a strange reaction to the invasion of mystical monkey power into his body. Strangely the teen's subconscious took the form of a sub-level of a power plant with pipes running across the walls and ceiling, and water flooding the floor. It all lead to a massive cage with a small seal paper covering the lock to keep it closed. Formerly there was a stone barrier a short distance in front of the cage, limiting the flow of some of the pipes, but the mystical monkey power had flooded through all the pipes and shattered the barrier, opening everything up for business.

"Who the fuck is trying to wake me up?" grunted a deep voice behind the cage. A massive pair of slit crimson red eyes opened, possessing an annoyed look. Noticing the yellow glow overtaking the pipes, it thwacked a red tail up against the cage. The seal suddenly reacted, leeching of a surge of red energy from the tail, before converting it to a huge surge of blue energy that surged throughout the pipes and overtook the mystical monkey power.

"Fucking bullshit...I'm going back to sleep..." muttered the beast as it closed its eyes. "Don't wake me up for another century..."

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Back in the real world, unseen to everyone eight blue glowing symbols appeared on Naruto's abdomen and a surge of blue energy pulsed from the symbols and overtook the yellow glow of the mystical monkey power. The monkeys stopped firing off their mystical power as Naruto dropped to the ground engulfed in a blue aura.

"Why did he get a blue mystical monkey power?" questioned Junior as he stared at the scene in front of him in shock.

"Maybe, blue monkey power is like level two monkey power." suggested Vinnie.

"I don't think that's mystical monkey power at all..." muttered Wade over the link as he furiously typed away at his computer in search for an explanation.

Naruto grinned as he suddenly turned towards Fist. In the blink of an eye he vanished and reappeared in front of the Monkey Kung Fu master, sending him flying with an uppercut.

"Try that on for size Mojo-jojo!" gloated Naruto as Fist crashed into a wall.

"Oooh! Power Puff Burn!" taunted Junior.

Monty leaped back to his feet, seemingly no worse for wear as he dusted himself, 'This truly isn't mystical monkey power. Whatever it is, it's not match for me!'

"You merely caught me off guard." declared Fist as he settled back into the opening stance of Tai-Shing-Pek-Kwar. "Now that I've seen the true extent or your abilities, it is quite evident you are no match for a Monkey Master."

Naruto simply made a beckoning motion at his foe in response, "Bring it on chuckles."

"Uwa-ah!" yelled Fist as he blurred into action, utilizing his monkey dexterity to the fullest. He poured on an assault of punches and kicks coming from angles only a primate could manage. To his surprise, Naruto managed to avoid him at every turn. For every blow the monkey-master struck, the blond would subtly shifted out of the way at the last moment, all the while with an infuriating smirk on his face. Fist tried to execute a particular vicious combination, and he finally landed powerful blow to Naruto's chest, only for the confident teen to vanish in a puff of smoke and leave his foot connected with a log.

"What the hell was that!" exclaimed Ron and the Rest of the D-Crew.

In anger, Fist reduced the log to splinters before turning and looking around for Naruto.

"Come out you coward!" snarled Monty. Unknown to him, Naruto had been standing right behind him the entire time marking his movements perfectly.

Fist felt a tap on his shoulder and nealry fell on his ass in shock as he turned around, "H-h-how?"

"Hi there. Nice day." greeted Naruto in a nonchalant manner.

Fist growled in frustration, lashing out with fist that Naruto easily avoided before decking the monkey-man with a left handed hay-maker that sent him crashing into a wall once again.

Fist tugged at his hair in frustration, "This is impossible! I am a Master of Monkey Kung Fu and the wielder or mystical monkey power! I should be invincible!"

'Let's finish this...' thought Naruto as Fist charged him once again.

"I will not fall to some upstart fraud!" roared Fist as he contorted his body and unleashed a vicious roundhouse kick. Naruto leaped back to avoid it, before springing forward with a flying kick of his own. Monty stepped to the side and used Naruto's momentum to throw him towards a wall. Naruto adjusted him self in midair and sprung off the wall right back at Fist, where he stunned the monkey master with a full on headbutt.

"Now that's what I call using your head!" yelled Junior.

The staggered Fist sloppily struck out with a chop that Naruto leaned back to avoid before rotating into a powerful spin-kick that launched Monkey Fist up into the air. He rebounded of the nearby wall to get high up in the air above Fist and executed a vicious spinning heeling drop on the Monkey-master's chest. The result was a violent collision between Fist and the floor and with Fisk falling unconscious.

"Dude where did you bust out those moves from!" exclaimed Junior as Naruto strolled over to them.

Naruto scoffed, "You didn't think surprise attacks was all there was to my dynamic style of fighting, did you?"

He only got a trio of blank looks in response.

"I get no respect I tell you! No respect!" grunted Naruto.

They all broke out with grins.

"Dah! We got you!" joked Junior.

"But seriously, how did you do that log thing?" asked Vinnie.

Naruto shrugged, "I don't know. With that mystic mojo stuff, I just kind of knew how to do it on instinct."

As the crew gave him a good natured ribbing, Naruto noticed Ron was not partaking in the post battle festivities as they made their way to the exit.

"Yo, Ron! Let's go!" called out Naruto.

The freckled blond gave no response, seemingly in some sort of trance as he stared at the alignment of the four jade monkeys.

"Ron! El Rondo! Free Bueno Nacho!" shouted Naruto, to no avail.

What happened next stunned them all.

"Monkeys you will hold no power over me anymore! I will use your own powers against you!" yelled Ron as he charged into the middle of the formation and found himself empowered by the mystical monkey mojo. "Oh, yeah! Come to Papa!"

"You know, I don't really feel that much different." muttered Ron as he tried a few experimental punches and kicks. Unfortunately, for him one of his kicks accidentally knocked a jade monkey to the ground and broke it. "Ah, man...I broke the monkey mojo."

The Rufus brothers, who somehow managed to stay asleep during the entire nights events, popped their heads and gave each other a short wave before going back to sleep. Eating several times your body weight in Bueno Nacho tended to put a Rufus in a several day hibernation cycle. No one noticed the brief glow of yellow in their eyes before they returned to the land of the dreams.

Big Mike offered him some sage advice, "If you can come up with the courage to subject yourself to mystical monkey power, you've conquered your fear."

Junior nodded, "Right on."

"No Doubt." agreed Vinnie.

"If you just cost me super powers, I have a brand new phobia for you to worry about...Mwhahahahaha!" cackled the spiky haired blond as he departed the castle. Vinnie, Big Mike, and Junior gave Ron a look of pity before following after Naruto.

"Naruto! It was an accident! I swear! Come on! I'll buy you ramen! Ten bowls! Twenty bowls! All you can eat?" the only response he got was more insane laughter. "Ah, man! Here it goes!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

After the big brouhaha with Monkey Fist, the Detention Force made a speedy trip back across the pond. Naruto and Ron found themselves joining Kim at Larry's house. Naruto's plan to subjected his cousin to Larry's unique brand of torture seemingly backfired.

"...you won't believe the debates that raged when I posted my version of the battle on the fan site." informed Larry. "Am I boring you?"

'This is so beyond boring...' thought Naruto and Kim.

"No! Please, go on!" exclaimed Ron. "This is interesting stuff!"

"You want to see outtakes from Moon beyond Ios?" asked Larry.

Ron's eyes lit up, "The deleted footage from the shrieker race?"

"I got it at the '07 Tulsa convention." replied Larry as he adjusted his glasses.

"Score!" yelled Ron as he pumped his fist. He then turned to Kim and Naruto, "You guys want to hang and watch?"

Naruto scratched his chin, "What's the phrase I'm looking for...None-chance."

Larry raised an eyebrow, "None chance?"

Naruto nodded, "So far beyond no chance, there was never a chance. None chance."

Kim smirked, "Yeah, no can do. There's a X-Files Marathon with our names on it."

Naruto pumped his fist, "Sweet!"

"You know, that show is like they took our lives and went fast forward about fifteen years..." began Naruto as the pair of friends exited Larry's room.

Ron and Larry just shook their heads as their cousins left, simultaneously muttering, "Dorks."


Chakra has been unleashed! The Kyuubi is a lazy bastard and went back to sleep! The Rufus's had way to much to eat! Review to make your chapter reading experience complete!