The bar was full of single beautiful women, newly thankful that their village had been saved by the Strawhat pirates. Some were hitting already hitting the booze. It really couldn't get any easier for the cook. He was the best looking of the crew (well unless they dug scars and strength…but it was fine by Zoro that they didn't seem to) and he certainly was the most irritatingly polite and willing to please a pretty face.

Annoying.

Some girls were already trying to corner the cook and hint that he should follow them to their beds. Sanji was oblivious, picking that unfortunate moment to flirt with one of the more shy girls too timid to approach him.

The cook had everything going for him and yet his own female-attention seeking personality was sabotaging him, clustering the girls around himself and trying to divide his attention equally meant the evening was sure to end with nothing of consequence happening for the idiot. Zoro would feel bad for the man but couldn't help smiling a bit, he brought it on himself really.

Usopp sat next to him and followed his gaze to the blond, picking up on his thoughts and ordering another drink with a smile.

"Ha! Too many girls this time? Sanji's unlucky in love, huh? He seems happy enough though."

"The ero-cook is never going to get laid." Zoro nodded into his drink as he tried to figure out why he even gave a damn enough to watch the blonds behavior all night.

"Oh you think so?" Nami cut in as she smirked from behind them. "I don't think you're giving Sanji-kun enough credit."

"Oh you have some plans later or something?" the swordsman sneered and instantly regretted it as the fist slammed painfully into his skull. His eyes flicked to Sanji and sighed in relief that at least the cook hadn't seen and wasn't about to stalk over and start something too.

"NO. I was merely saying I think Sanji-kun is smart enough to go home with exactly who he wants." She explained. Both men turned to stare at her and then shifted their eyes back to the man in question and then back to her in disbelief.

"He seems like the same old idiot around girls to me." Zoro commented and Usopp nodded in agreement. "Not to mention he's never gone home with one before."

Nami cocked her head at Zoro for a long moment before smirking.

"Exactly."

"HUH? What's that supposed to..?" He didn't finish as an evil gleam sparkled in their navigator's eye and she thrust out a hand greedily.

"How much is the answer worth to you?"

Zoro turned back his attention to his mug with firm disinterest.

"Nothing."

Usopp laughed and Nami almost pouted before taking her drink elsewhere. Zoro poured himself another. The cook now had two women nuzzling each side of his neck, asking for something, and he really didn't want to think of the navigators implication. He could have anyone…but the ones he ran across hadn't been what he wanted. Right? Wasn't that the gist of what she had been saying? That when it came to going home with someone the pervert chef was actually picky?!

Zoro refused to look back at the cook again and drank another. Then another. Then countless others.

He was being nudged awake by Sanjis elbow next thing he knew.

"Morning already?" Zoro yawned and the cook chuckled as he began fishing out a cigarette.

"You could say that, more or less."

Zoro looked around and almost laughed at the scene in the predawn light. The women that had been circling around Sanji all night were still there, in a sleeping heap against each other and covered with blankets much like the one the cook was pulling of Zoros shoulders now. Sanji must have borrowed them from the innkeeper he had saved last night. Still the hint of the red on the cooks face seemed to be from the buzz of alcohol and not so much any naked affection he might have received.

"No luck?" Zoro asked as he titled his head toward the cooks would-be harem.

"Pft! Like luck is even involved! I don't want to break these girls hearts or find out years down the road I had a shitty kid along the way I never knew about." The tone was a little harsher than Zoro was used to the cook using in terms of women and he couldn't help feeling that maybe Sanji didn't appreciate it when the hunt for girls was too easy after all.

So Nami had been right. The cook had known what he'd been doing the entire time.

The next moment Sanji took a breath and exhaled the smoke of his cigarette in a more gentle sigh than anything else.

"Come on Marimo…the log pose is set, let's get back to the ship before the marines crash through here looking for us."

"Oi! I'm not that drunk, I can make it myself!"

The cook laughed at him like he had just told the funniest thing he had heard all week.

"Shithead, you couldn't get there perfectly sober with your sense of direction. Come on, let me take you home."

"Sanji-kun is smart enough to go home with exactly who he wants."

Oh.

Zoro grinned as he stood up and gathered his swords. That made everything so much clearer.

Turns out he was the unlucky one for not noticing all this time…

…Or maybe all the women on the Grandline were the unlucky ones because now that he knew, they REALLY didn't stand a chance.