She looked down at that little boy and all the pain and hurt left her as they stood in the cemetery. Today was a horrible anniversary but she was able to get through it when she saw his face, he was amazing and a spitting image of his father except his nose that was all her. She held his hand and gave him a small squeeze, in his five years she loved how he seemed to be so smart and mature of most kids his age. She looked at the Reagan Family and read felt the pain creep up inside her, she obviously didn't have they bond that they had with him but she grew to love him and they he was taken away and it had hit them all so very hard. She looked at Erin who held on to her father, snuggled up to him like a little girl would when they needed to feel that sense of security. Nicki, who stood next to her cousins, had come home the night before to be here with the family, the boys towered over her and she had her arm linked through Jack's arm. Danny and Linda stood near her and she could see the tears in Linda's eyes though she tried to hide them, Danny was not crying but his face was stoic with a hint of sadness.
"Mama," she felt the tug at her shirt as Vincent looked up at her with those baby blue eyes. She crouched down as he whispered into her ear, she nodded and handed him a tissue and watched as he walked over to his Aunt Linda and hand her the crumpled tissue, Linda smiled and wrapped her arms around Vinny and kissed his cheek. Eddie stood up and smiled at Linda before standing beside Jamie and wrapping her arms around his waist.
"You doing okay," She asked as he stood staring at the gravestones, four Reagan laid to rest here all of their passing harder than the last.
"Yeah," He gave her a small smile and kissed her on the top of her head. She watched as Erin laid flowers in her grandfather's grave, a whole year it seemed impossible and yet here they stood. He had gone last spring and it wasn't in pain, he had passed in his sleep; Jamie had said after the first three hours of him being gone that he was in heaven dancing with Betty like they use to do when she was alive, and chatting with his mom like they did every Sunday. It had been hard on them all and she had been hit too, she remembered when Jamie had been in the hospital and she was not sure he was going to be okay Henry had been with her telling her little jokes and poking fun making her laugh and telling her how tough Jamie was. He also was their when Jamie woke up and he had called her right away because he knew about them. When they had revealed to the rest of the family that she was pregnant, he stood up and wrapped her in a joyful embrace.
"Hope he is raising hell with Joe up there." Danny sliced through the silence.
"Oh yeah, telling everyone all the cop stories, I'm sure grandma is thrilled." Erin laughed as the thought ran through her head.
"That woman will keep him in line; she always has even from up there." The family laughed and it was the first time in days because they upcoming day had put them in a melancholy mood.
"You know he wouldn't want us wallowing here, he would yell at us," Jamie stated.
"I could hear that, "I'm gone there is nothing you can do just go eat or something."" Linda laughed through tears.
"So why aren't we eating then, I'm starving and I can tell you were he would want us to be," Nicki said.
"Samfords," Jack answered.
"Right, a nice duck and potatoes," Sean added in his great grandfather's favorite dish.
"Well then let's go," Eddie, said scooping up her son.
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That night she watched as Jamie put their son to bed and she could not believe how blessed she was honestly she saw it every night. She would count her blessings every night after Vinny's bedtime story, after she kissed that sleeping boy's cheek; she would feel blessed every time Jamie walked over kissed the top of Vinny's head and covered him with the blanket. She would linger with her husband in the doorway just to catch the final glimpse of Vinny sleeping soundly and being proud of him. It was days like today were she knew how very lucky she was; a wonderful life she had with a loving husband and a wonderful job, a perfect little boy and a little girl on the way.
Jamie sighed happily, kissed her cheek, and rubbed her baby bump before retreating to their bedroom. She looked one more time at her son before quietly closing the door and turning towards her room. She entered the room to see Jamie undressing and the scars though faded they were defined.
Five years ago she was given the news he was alive, in a waiting room with the people she now called family. That was the biggest relief but it was shattered when she was told how bad of a condition he was in and that he was so unstable they were unsure he would make it through the night. She remembered her feeling exactly, it as if the air had left her lungs and she felt any stomach content begin to rebel against her. She thought about how the baby growing inside her might grow up not knowing this wonderful man, this man she loved and that terrified her. She had zoned out for a while but what she did remember was Linda coming up to her and hugging her, whispering to her that is was going to be okay even though it might not be. Eddie relived that very often, especially on days like this.
She would remember how Danny had found her and told her that she should see him, he knew about her and Jamie but not about the baby and everything in her wanted to tell him but it was not the time or place. She remembered walking into the room, it was well light and the smell of alcohol wipes filled the air, the sound of Jamie's heart monitor broke the silence and then there was Jamie himself. It was not as she expected, she expected him to be covered in wires and tubes but there were less then she thought, it did not make it any less frightening. He had a tube down his throat, and IV in his hand and a pulsox reader on his finger. He was pale just as she imagined he would be after losing all that blood but it was being pumped back into him pint by pint. The thin rubber tubing ran red with the color of blood and against his skin it made the pigment of his skin almost porcelain colored. She had been so afraid to even touch him but as she settled down into the chair she got hold of his hand, it was freezing and so lifeless but her fingers found their way to his wrist and she felt his pulse telling her just what the monitor read.
It had been the most terrifying moment of her life but she soldiered on and she would visit him after tour. She would find times when the rest of the family was not there so she was not in the way. She would talk to him about everything at the precinct, how everyone was waiting for him to heal, how she was partnered with Walsh and loved the driving privileges. She would tell him that he was missing Sarge yelling at the recruits like he had with her and most of all she would tell him that he needed to wake up because she could not do it alone. She could not raise this baby alone, not without the love of her life and every time she left, she would kiss him on the cheek and tell him that she loved him.
"What are you thinking about," He smiled at her as he crawled into bed. She had drifted off in her thoughts but he brought her back, his voice anchored her in reality and out of the horrible memories of him in the hospital, hanging on to life.
"Nothing," She lied as she flashed him a smile. She climbed into bed and snuggled into him, wrapping her arms around his stomach.
"I'm a detective now Eddie you do know I know when you're lying." She just smirked at his comment and nodded.
"I'm just thinking about you, and how much I love you," She looked up at him, into his blue eyes that melted her soul.
"I love you too." He turned over and clicked off the light and kissed her on the forehead, she felt him adjust himself in the bed, letting her rest her head on his chest, and as they both slowly drifted to sleep she listened to his heartbeat reminding her that this was real and she was truly blessed. It wasn't intentional, she never meant to fall in love with her partner but she did, and she had loved him every day since and would continue to love him forever.
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That is the story, I really hope you like the ending. I had been planning it since the beginning but I was a little afraid of how you all would like it, I know it cuts out Jamie's recovery and a lot of other things but I am am not good at recovery stories and I find myself struggling to transition to the next part. I would like the thank all of the readers, your support has been amazing and all your comments have made me so incredibly happy. Please leave me more, I hope to hear from you in my next blue bloods story, it will be Erin centric but I'm not sure when it will be posted. Thank you all so much again, Much love ~Layna
