Vilkas quickly shoved the thin journal into the waistband of his pants as he turned to face his very angry, very frightening, harbinger.

"Get. Out." The woman said with a deathly calm, Laiyana, unlike most of the companions, was most dangerous when she was the calmest. Vilkas knew it was time to retreat.

"I apologize harbinger I will be going" he said and swiftly exited the room as he tried to ignore the steely eyes trained on his back. As soon as he was safely back in his own room down the hall he retrieved the small journal from his waist. The journal was a plain leather one; on the inside her name and date of birth were written (3rd of Suns Dawn). The journal had only twenty pages, a small thing, but each page was filled. He knew he shouldn't but he swallowed his morals and cracked it open anyways, curiosity prevailing. The first page was written in neatly spaced letters,

This may be my first and last entry. I will be fulfilling my destiny tomorrow. If I live it will be worth it and if I die it will be in vain. Everyone assumes it will be easy but I am afraid. Yes me, the Harbinger of the Companion, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Soldier of the Stormcloaks and Guildmaster of the thieves, is afraid. I'm terrified, what if I am not strong enough? Worrying will do be no good. Alduin awaits no matter if I am ready or not. I am not sure how to close this entry, farewell or hello.

Laiyana Shieldwolf.

Vilkas was surprised, he had no idea the things his Harbinger was mixed in. The Stormcloaks he knew about, but the Thieves Guild and the Dark Brotherhood were another matter entirely. He flipped the page to an entry three days later.

I won, well kind of. I was afraid yes. But my efforts have not been in vain. However, I fear that I will not return to the way I once was. I now have another battle scar, normally that would not bother me yet it does, maybe not because of the deformation, but because of the things said to go along with it. I have brought shame upon myself and I do not know why. A strange sort of cloud has hung over me, my wounds still bleed yet I force myself to bandage them. In a fit of rage I have cut my hair to my ears close to my head, but I do not know why. I have changed into some sort of monster that I do not yet know anything about.

Laiyana Shielfwolf.

Vilkas frowned as he shut the journal and put it under his straw mattress before returning to the living quarters. There he was greeted with a strange sight, Farkas and Aela blocked the door from a almost frightened looking Harbinger who had her pack slung over her shoulder. A slip of irritation shot up in Vilkas.

"Where do you think you're going" He said with a snarl and a spark of defiance lit up her eyes.

"I will return I do have other responsibilities you know" She snapped at him. She glanced at Farkas and Aela again before back at Vilkas.

"You're welcome to come you know, to make sure I return, after all you've seen my many uniforms you know what I've been up to" She said with an uncharacteristic sneer at Vilkas. He stepped back, a bit surprised, but Farkas nodded in encouragement.

"Give me five minutes" Vilkas grumbled before retreating to pack.