Chapter Nine
"You are in so much trouble."
I raised an eyebrow at my very angry-looking mum. I'd just gotten back from hanging out with Al - well, if you can call cuddling in the back of my car "hanging out". I also wasn't exactly in the best mood, since Al wouldn't tell me exactly what was bothering him, and I got soaked from the rain on the way inside.
My socks were wet. Come on. That's a good excuse.
"What did I do?" I asked wearily, leaning against the coat closet by the front door to slowly peel my socks off.
"Where were you?"
"Just hanging out with Al," I answered simply, smiling. If I was speaking honestly, I hadn't wanted to leave. He was finally acting like himself again - even if he was upset. We'd talked for a few hours, at least, about stupid stuff. Like we used to. Then we declared that our butts were sore and came back.
"Hanging out with Al," she repeated angrily, her expression hardening.
"Yeah, he was upset, so -"
"Did it ever occur to you at some point that you forgot your responsibilities?" she demanded. I froze, eyes wide, and Mum scoffed. "Apparently not."
"Oh no," I moaned, clapping a hand to my forehead. "Shit, I left Eleni here!"
"Watch your language!" she snapped, but I pushed past her and ran upstairs, twisted and turning to get to Eleni's room. I opened the door and she was there, sitting at her little table and having tea with her stuffed animals.
Her eyes lit up when they saw me. "Mandy!"
"I'm so sorry, Eleni," I said guiltily, quickly running over and scooping her up in my arms. "Are you mad at me?"
"No," she said, grabbing onto my cheeks and pinching them. I squirmed and she let go, clapping her hands excitedly. "Mandy, Mandy, look! I'm taller than you!"
I laughed quietly and kissed her forehead. "I promise I'll never ditch you again."
"Okay," she said cheerfully. "Come have tea with me!"
"Okay."
"Where did you go?" she asked curiously as I put her down onto her little pink chair. "Mr. Bunny missed you."
"Al was really sad," I told her. She nodded like she understood and poured my tea.
"Did you give him a hug and kiss it better?" she asked, eyes wide and serious.
I laughed. "In a way."
"You should tell him to have tea with us!" she said, her jaw dropping from the sheer brilliance from her own idea. Her eyes lit up again and she tugged on my arm. "Please, Mandy?"
"Sure."
"YAY!" she exclaimed happily, jumping up to hug me. "I like Al, he gives me piggy back rides!"
"Yeah," I agreed softly, hugging her back. "I like him, too."
"Hey."
"Hey," Al replied, giving me a surprised smile. I sat beside him as he marked his page in his book and set it aside. "What brings you here?"
"I was around."
"Right," he said, raising an eyebrow. "That, or you were spying on me from your window."
"Was not!" I denied, blushing.
(I was.)
"Right," he repeated, smirking.
"What's up?" I asked, elbowing him lightly and looking out onto the street. "You never come out onto your roof."
"It was getting a little stuffy in there," he admitted. He glanced from me, then back to the street. "You come up here a lot, though."
I shrugged. "I like it up here."
"I can tell."
"I always have to sneak up, though," I told him, stretching out my legs in front of me. "If Eleni sees me up here, she'll probably want to do it, and then we'll get in a fight, and the next thing you know, there will be a wayward four year old on the roof by herself."
Al chuckled. "That's not good."
"My mum would kill me." I blew my fringe out my face and leaned back against the house. "I got in trouble yesterday."
"You?" he said sarcastically, and I stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed. "Why?"
"I kind of forgot about Eleni when we went to that parking lot," I admitted guiltily. I noticed his eyes shifted away from me, the tips of his ears going a little red. I shook my head and continued. "My mum gave me a long lecture on responsibility."
"Are you grounded?" he asked.
"I got off with a warning."
Al chuckled. "Imagine if she knew that you smoke, now."
"I don't smoke that much!" I protested. "Just at Kevin's."
"We go there nearly every day, Mandy."
"I know, I know," I said. Al stiffened slightly when I leaned my head on his shoulder. I ignored it. "I don't really like it, though. It's kind of gross. Same with beer, by the way."
He rolled his eyes. "That's it. You're doing shots tonight."
"Does it taste disgusting?"
"Not after a few," he said teasingly, and I groaned.
"You're the one who wanted to try it, Miss Adventure." He paused when I didn't say anything. I felt his gaze on me. "I have a question."
"Go ahead."
"It's kind of random."
"It's okay."
He exhaled loudly. "Do you think there's any chance your brother is gay?"
I leaned my head off his shoulder, biting at my lip. I knew James was going to tell Al, but in all honesty, I didn't know how he was going to take it. I knew old Al would love James no matter what, but I wasn't really sure what the new one would think.
I shook my head. "No... why do you ask?"
"Because Victor's girlfriend is hot," he said sarcastically. I looked away. "Don't play dumb, James told me that you know."
"Oh." I brought my legs to my chest and drop my chin on my knees. "So you talked to him."
"He's my brother, I talk to him all the time," he said. But I knew he was lying.
"Right." I played with my shoelace. "What do you think?"
"Honestly?" he asked, and I nodded. "I already guessed."
"Really?" I spluttered, my eyes snapping to his. He shrugged. "How'd you know?"
"Like I said," he told me, giving me a small smile, "he's my brother."
For some reason, that made me want to jump up and down on the roof. Al did accept his brother for who he was. Even if they didn't talk anymore since they got into so many arguments, there was some part of Al that couldn't help but show that he cared.
I couldn't help but grin at him. "Let's go for a drive."
"One day, my parents are going to see through that."
"No they won't."
"They will, I know it. They'll see your true colours one day."
"And then they will ground you for eternity," he retorted playfully. We were on another "date", heading to Kevin's apartment. Again. I found myself often wishing that it was a real date. I really did. But I guess this was okay, too, since I got to spend time with him.
But we had been spending a lot more time together. Just as friends, doing friendly-type things. We'd gone back to the parking lot and I tried to teach Al to drive, which was interesting enough. It was fair, though, when Al tried to teach me how to apparate. It was probably a good thing he knew how to undo the Splinching.
He slipped his hand in mine, and I felt more like a stupid, typical teenage girl than ever. But I couldn't help it. I didn't know why, but I just felt like my heart ached. Entirely cliche-like. Because he was my best friend again, and I'd always loved him, but this was an entirely new way of falling for him.
Dammit, I had to end this. I had to tell him I was in too deep.
But I was also terrified of what he would say. If he would make fun of me.
Al lead me through the apartment, and I'd never felt more like an accessory. But I guess it wasn't so bad; he'd introduced me to everyone there, and even the muggles honestly weren't awful. What I liked the most was when everyone else was busy with each other, and Al didn't feel like socializing or snogging and we'd just sit in the corner and talk.
This was not one of those days.
Mind you, he seemed to be in a pretty strange mood. He kept zoning out more than usual, deep into thought. I saw him frowning a couple of times, but when I asked him about it, he kept telling me not to worry.
"Hey, Al, you're just in time!" someone shouted as we entered the living room. It was Kevin. Typical. "The movie is about to start!"
Sure enough, the couches and chairs had been pushed together in front of reasonably large television screen. Al went to the kitchen, and I sat down on the floor, next to a girl I'd met a few days before.
"Hey, Lana," I greeted, and the brunette smiled at me. I was pretty sure she was a muggle, but like I said, they weren't so bad.
"Hey, Mandy," she said cheerfully. A little drunkenly. "We're watching a movie!"
I laughed. "I've heard."
"And you get to drink this," Al said, coming up to us and sitting on the other side. He set a glass down on the carpet in front of me.
"What is it?"
"Juice," he said mischievously. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he laughed. "With vodka."
"Right," I said, shaking my head and smiling.
"Don't you trust me?" he teased, wrapping an arm around my waist.
"Sure."
"Hey, Mandy!" I heard Abbey's voice somewhere behind me, and I turned to see her sitting in Kevin's lap in the large armchair next to the couch. She waved at me. "Mandy, you're really pretty, you know that?"
I blushed. "Thanks."
"We should go shopping," she said matter-of-factly. "What exactly are you wearing, anyway?"
I looked down, my face burning. I wasn't sure if she was trying to be mean. It didn't seem like it. "Erm, a t-shirt. And shorts."
"Lay off, Abbey, not everyone wears tiny shorts," said Lana. Who was wearing very short shorts. "Mandy looks great."
I kept quiet. Al somehow sensed my discomfort, and shifted me closer to him. I had no idea how he knew. Maybe it was the fact that I had asked him what to wear the first time I'd come here. Maybe it was because he was one of the reasons I felt so self-conscious.
I just didn't really like this kind of attention.
Halfway through the movie, I wasn't quite sure what it was about - neither did anyone else, apparently. Honestly, I found the people more entertaining than the actual movie; everyone was drunk and acting silly. They were throwing popcorn around, giggling like idiots, sitting on each other's laps, cracking jokes...
If I didn't feel so horrible, I'd probably be having a lot of fun.
You know the feeling, right? When you're trying to go along with it all, but something inside is bothering you, so even smiling seems a bit like a chore? Yeah. That's how I felt.
I stood in the kitchen, slowly drinking the juice Al had given me and trying to resist the urge to ask him to go home. I could see him from there, and he looked like he was having fun. He was laughing and smoking and enjoying himself. These were his friends, not mine. I just couldn't shake away the feeling that I wasn't ever going to belong.
Kevin, Abbey and Steve were Al's closest friends, and had nothing in common with me. There was Lana, who was a muggle and was nice enough. There was Jack and Mary, who were also muggles, and dating. There was Phil, who was this moody Slytherin who usually didn't say much - but even he looked like he was having fun. Then there was Steve's best friend, Peter, who was in Hufflepuff. I think.
Where did I belong in that?
I wasn't quite sure if this counted as an adventure anymore.
"Hey, Mandy," Lana said as she came into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and reached into it for another beer. "You all right?"
I shrugged. "Yeah."
"You know, Abbey didn't mean it in a bad way," she said, coming up beside me to where I was leaning on the breakfast bar. "Seriously. She's just obsessed with fashion."
I remembered what Al had said about her clothing. And how she looked in them.
"Really, Mandy," Lana persisted, putting her drink down. "She wouldn't have said you looked nice if she didn't believe it."
I shrugged again, feeling a bit better. But it didn't really shake that feeling. Both Abbey and Lana dressed well, and I didn't really know how to. Plus, I just wanted to feel comfortable. I didn't think shorts and a t-shirt weren't so bad. Al hadn't said anything.
Well, not directly. He made offhand comments about how other girls were hot. He hadn't made any comments about my body specifically, or how I dressed, but I felt the pressure, anyway. I felt like I knew what was looking for when he was looking at girls, because of his stupid comments... and I wasn't it.
I guess it just lead to that. I'd never thought about my body or how I dressed before. I'd never cared before. Now there was Al, who was interested in Abbey and the way she showed off skin and how her boobs or butt looked great in whatever she wore, and I just... I dunno. I couldn't compete with that.
"Mandy?" I snapped out of it when I saw Lana waving a hand in front of my eyes. "I'm not lying."
"I know, sorry," I said quickly, shaking my head. "I guess it's just Al."
She looked at me sympathetically. "Boy problems?"
"I guess," I mumbled, taking a sip of my drink. Lana didn't know Al and I weren't really dating, and I wanted to keep it that way. I nodded towards him. "I guess I just feel like I should probably dress better."
"Did he say that?" she asked, sounding angry.
"No, no..." I put my drink down and looked to her. She looked like she actually wanted to listen, and the next thing I knew, the words were falling out of my mouth. "I guess it's just the pressure, you know? I want him to be interested, but I just..."
That was definitely the drink talking, and revealing something personal to a stranger.
She put her drink down and held me by the shoulders, peering intently at me. "Mandy, Al is already dating you. He must like how you look."
I shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know. He's a teenage boy. Short attention span." And the fact that he likes Abbey, not me.
"That boy knows how lucky he is, okay?" Lana said, shaking my shoulders lightly. "It's written all over his face. He really cares about you. I wouldn't worry, because even if you're not exactly up-to-date in fashion, you are pretty."
And I was about to voice my doubts with how Al might have thought to that, because there was no way boys didn't care about how girls dress, no matter how much they cared about them.
But unfortunately, I found that kind of hard to say when Lana's lips were suddenly pressing against mine.
