Chapter Nine-Stress and Awkwardness
"What are you going to do?"
Well, wasn't that one hell of a question? What was she going to do? She had figured, or at least she had hoped with all of her might, that Zaku would have died a long time ago. Sadly, she hadn't been that lucky, and now she honestly had no clue what to do, because there he was, still alive and kicking, looking jolly as hell, trying to fit in with the Gotei 13 like he hadn't ordered the deaths of so many innocent people. She had hoped with every fiber of her being that she would never have to see him again, so that she would never have to be reminded of that time that had left her so bruised and haunted, but again, there he was. What a fucking bastard…Why couldn't he have just died and made things easy for her? It was like the whole damn universe was working against her or something, and Haruka was truly at a loss.
And then there was that bastard Kensei…She trusted that he wouldn't say anything about what had happened earlier that day, but why the hell did he have to go and look so concerned about her? She didn't understand it at all. Of course, she really didn't understand the man himself, either. She figured he'd just tell her to get the fuck over herself, but then he just had to go and act like he actually gave a damn about what she was going through. He had a lot of damn nerve, too, to go and threaten the person that was causing her so much grief. That spiky-haired prick needed to get his shit straight; they weren't friends, he did not care about her, and she sure as fuck did not care about him.
That was something that confused her even more: she didn't care about the bastard, so why was she so afraid of what would happen to him if he stood against Zaku? It was a stupid fear, she knew that. Kensei was a damn captain, so nine times out of ten he could easily have taken Zaku down without breaking a sweat. Haruka had this feeling, though, one that she just couldn't shake; something was telling her, no, warning her, that Zaku had something up his sleeve, and she didn't have a clue as to what the hell it was. Just like she didn't have a clue as to why she actually gave a shit about what happened to Kensei…
She decided that this was too much shit for her to deal with. It wasn't like she didn't already have enough problems in her life, like worrying about a slew of Shinigami trying to kill her for some sort of 'sketchy behavior'. Things weren't as tense as when she had first gotten there, but she would be damned if the Shinigami weren't still suspicious of her. She figured that that would probably never change, no matter how long she managed to stay in the Gotei 13. It was like they didn't have anything better to do other than harass her…
Haruka figured she was probably reading too deeply into this, or at least too deeply into everything that was causing her stress. For the most part, she had learned to just breath and let these things pass by her; she had gotten used to all of the threats and suspicious glares from her fellow Shinigami (and yes, they had finally broken down and said that she was a Shinigami…they all looked like someone had stolen their puppy when they finally had to acknowledge her as one of their own…assholes), and she had also learned to deal with Kensei and his conflicting attitudes towards her (until this most recent episode, that is).
This Zaku situation, though, was on a whole new level of fucked up for her. Not only had her brother, the person who had tormented her as a child and also the person that had nearly caused her to get raped, shown up, but his presence also made the rest of her problems seem ten times worse. While some of the Shinigami were relatively civil with her, she figured that they still didn't trust her, so she couldn't count on them to have her back in case Zaku ever did try something. And then the whole Kensei thing…She had no clue what to do if Zaku tried to hurt him. She shouldn't have felt the urge to do anything, since she wasn't exactly supposed to like him, but obviously her emotions were not on the same level as her brain when it came to that subject.
Again, she was probably reading too deeply into the whole thing. At the estate all those years ago, when he looked back at her, Zaku obviously hadn't recognize her, which was logical considering they hadn't seen each other since they were children. While he looked relatively similar to the way he had back then, only a little bigger, Haruka looked completely different, and she hoped that would be enough for him to never realize that his younger sister was still alive, and in turn leave her the fuck alone. As for the Shinigami, they could get the fuck over themselves. She figured that more of them would warm up to her eventually, and maybe she would be able to call the ones that had already warmed up to her a little her friends in due time. And as for the whole Kensei thing…she would eventually figure that out. Eventually.
"You are positively hopeless," Dokudosu scoffed. Haruka hated how her zanpakutō could always read her thoughts. It was convenient when she was too lazy to actually try to converse with her zanpakutō, but in times like these, when she would have preferred it if her private thoughts stayed fucking PRIVATE, well…she didn't exactly appreciate the presence of her zanpakutō at these times.
"I'm sure you'll learn to appreciate it someday," said zanpakutō chuckled, relishing in Haruka's disgruntlement. One thing that she did not relish in, however, was how distressed Haruka was over the appearance of her brother. Being an extension of Haruka's being, Dokudosu knew the ex-bandit better than anyone, even better than Haruka knew herself, really, so Dokudosu knew just how unusual it was for the bandit to be this distressed over, well, anything really. Dokudosu hadn't lied when she told Haruka that she loved her, and that love caused Dokudosu to want nothing more than to tear Zaku apart from the inside out. If she ever got her poison into him, she would make him regret the day that he'd been born. She would play with his mind like a kitten played with a ball of yarn, and then that kitten would turn into a ferocious and bloodthirsty lion as she tore Zaku's sanity away from him and made him feel nothing but pain. She would make him lose himself and she would enjoy every second of it…
"That's some colorful imagery you've got goin' on there, bro," Haruka stated, knocking Dokudosu out of her revelry. At times like these, Dokudosu also did not appreciate how Haruka knew her every thought. It was annoying, and the ex-bandit tended to butt in whenever the zanpakutō was getting to the good part of letting her imagination run wild.
"You'll learn to appreciate it someday," Haruka mocked her, and with all of her being Dokudosu wanted to manifest herself outside of Haruka's inner world at that moment so she could slap the living hell out of the yellow-eyed banshee. She was going to be the bigger woman, though, so she decided to just let Haruka's comment slide.
"So, what are you going to do?" Dokudosu repeated, trying to change the subject.
"Probably nothing," Haruka huffed, shocking her zanpakutō.
"Why nothing? We could easily poison and kill him," the spirit pointed out. "He's not even a ranked officer. He should be easy to take care of."
"Because he's hiding something, Dokudosu, and I have a feeling that he's stronger than he appears to be," Haruka told her. "I doubt things will turn out well for us if we attack him now."
"And what if you're just being paranoid and he's not hiding anything?" her zanpakutō challenged.
"Dokudosu, he ordered the deaths of countless people. He is a cold-hearted bastard, and there is no doubt in my mind just how capable he is of killing. Mercenaries like the ones he hired don't just follow anyone, either. Money goes a long way, but you have to be strong for them to respect you and actually follow your orders and guard him like they did. Plus, that look he gave me all those years ago, like I wasn't worth the time of day to him…that's not a look you give to people if you're weak. Your skills actually have to be worth something in order for you to have that look," Haruka explained. The two were quiet for a moment.
"You…might actually have a point," Dokudosu finally relented.
"I know I do. We'll just have to keep an eye on him for now. Plus, I doubt he'll recognize me. Fuck, I really am overthinking this," the brunette breathed, running a hand through her short hair. "Hell, you're right, I'm probably just being paranoid. He's probably not hiding anything. Fuck, it probably isn't even him."
"Okay, now that is bullshit," the zanpakutō pointed out, and Haruka could have sworn she felt something like a slap against the back of her head.
"Alright, it's definitely him," Haruka admitted, "But even so, he could just be here to, you know, be here."
"Just to be a Shinigami?"
"Yeah, I mean, it's a free excuse to kill shit, even if it is only Hollows."
"I don't know, Haruka. I think you're on to something."
"Don't say that, Dokudosu, it just makes me more paranoid."
"You're right, it would be foolish to attack him now. We need to observe him first, see if he is actually planning something and see if we can figure out just how strong he is."
"So…you're agreeing with me?"
"Just keep your damn eyes open, Haruka. Nothing may come of this but be prepared just in case something does happen."
"So, yes, you are agreeing with me."
"Shut the fuck up and go to sleep."
"I love you, Dokudosu."
"Fuck you."
The next day was just plainly fucking awkward. There was no other way that Haruka could have put it. She liked to think that it was Shinji's fault, since he had been the one to start all of the awkwardness off. She had just been minding her own business, walking to the Ninth Division all on her own to start her day of training. Practically no one else had been outside at that time, so for once Haruka's walk was something that she could have considered peaceful. It was quiet, no one was threatening at her, and nobody was staring at her; it was almost too good to be true.
And that was when she ran into Shinji. It turned out that her peaceful walk really was too good to be true. The blond-headed captain seemed to have popped up out of a nowhere, appearing in front of Haruka so instantly that she was almost startled, almost being the key word there. Truthfully, she had gotten used to people trying to sneak up on her like that; some of the Shinigami seemed to have made a game of trying to get her to change her expression and startling her was one of their favorite ways to try to do it. Nobody had won that game yet. Haruka may have gotten startled the first few times they did it, but not once did she change her expression. She kept her small level of fright hidden, which made for some very heartbroken and defeated Shinigami. Sadly, they had yet to give up on their game. She wasn't going to let any of them win, though; they called her Dead-Eye for a reason, damn it.
She really doubted that Shinji was taking part in that game, though. He had tried it once a while back, but he hadn't tried again once he failed his first attempt. He had said that it was a pointless game because he doubted that Haruka had any control of her facial muscles anymore. As long as it kept him from participating in the little 'game' that the Shinigami had going on, Haruka wasn't going to argue with him on that point, even if it was a little absurd. Beyond all of that, he just plainly looked way too serious when he appeared in front of her to be playing any sort of game. He didn't say anything, though; he just sort of…looked at her weirdly. It was very weird, actually, and it kind of made Haruka a little uncomfortable.
"Captain Hirako," Haruka greeted, trying to start up a conversation with him so he would break the stare that he had on her. It didn't work. He still didn't say anything for quite a few moments, and he just kept giving Haruka that weird look. She couldn't even describe what that damn look was. It wasn't confused, or mad, or sad, or any damn thing. It was just plainly a fucking weird look, and Haruka did not like it one bit.
"Can I help you with something, brother?" Haruka asked him, and still nothing. Nope, she was not going to put up with this shit today. She was fully intent on marching away from the Fifth Division's captain, but as soon as she took one step, he finally spoke up.
"What the hell was that yesterday?" he finally blurted. Haruka stared at him mutely for a moment.
"I thought we agreed not to talk about that," she finally breathed.
"We agreed not to say anything about it to anyone else, but we didn't say anything about not talking about it to each other," he pointed out.
"I thought that was kind of a given, bro."
"It wasn't."
"Well, it is now. We won't talk about it to anyone else or to each other. Hell, we probably shouldn't even think about it just to make sure. Better yet, it didn't even happen. I have no idea what on earth you are talking about, bro."
"When a woman gives someone a glare like that, you can't just not talk about it," Shinji commented. "That was some scary shit, yeah? Where did ya learn that? Is that some kinda weird bandit technique?"
"Would you like to be at the receiving end of one of those glares, Captain Hirako?" Haruka asked him.
"Hell no."
"Then I suggest you forget about this conversation and the events that you referred to in it."
"If I didn't know any better, I would say that you were threatening me, Haruka."
"I don't know what you mean, bro. We just ran into each other. No conversation transpired between us until now."
"Haruka…"
"For fuck's sake, will you please drop it?"
"I can't just drop it, ya damn bandit. It involved someone in my division, so it involves me too, in a sense."
"In a very convoluted sense. And how do you know it involved someone in your division? I never said who I was glaring at. I could have been glaring at…Shūnsui, for all you know."
"Really, Haruka? Shūnsui? Is that the best you could come up with?"
"I am not dealing with this shit. You're being weird. Leave me alone." And with that Haruka finally walked away from the captain.
"What a fucking weirdo," she thought to herself. Luckily for her, Shinji had taken the hint and didn't follow her. That was how her weird day started, and she'd be lying if she said it got any better once she finally reached the Ninth Division.
Her little bout with Shinji had caused Haruka to show up late for her training. Normally, Kensei would have been all over her case for that, but much to Haruka's surprise, he didn't say a word about it. In fact, he didn't say anything. Much like Shinji, he just stood there and gave her a look. And it was a very weird look at that; Haruka couldn't help but note that it was a lot like the look that Shinji had given her earlier, but there was something just a little different about it. If she wasn't mistaken, she could have sworn that there was a small hint of concern in there, and maybe, just maybe, a small touch of affection. She was probably imagining it, though. Surely she wasn't starting to grow on him…That would have just been weird.
"Hopeless," Dokudosu hissed.
"Fuck you," Haruka thought, letting her zanpakutō know exactly how she felt about her commentary. All Haruka got in reply was a lofty chuckle.
"Kensei," Haruka called, trying to get the captain's attention. He seemed to snap out of whatever revelry that he had been.
"You're late," he pointed out.
"You don't seem too mad about it," Haruka told him. He was quiet again.
"Besides," Haruka added, "It was Shinji's fault." Kensei cocked an eyebrow at that.
"He stopped me on the way here, stared at me like a fucking moron for like five minutes, and then tried to have one of the most pointless conversations known to man with me once I tried to leave," Haruka explained, pointedly leaving out what Shinji had actually tried to talk to her about. Again, she doubted that Kensei would try to bring it up, but just in case…
"And just why would he do that?" Kensei asked her.
"Hell if I know," she shrugged. "It was weird as fuck, though."
"Have you not gotten the impression that that's just the way he is sometimes?"
"I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I see now that I shouldn't have tried to do that."
"No, you shouldn't have."
"Right," Haruka sighed. Why did he have to be acting so damn calmly? It was weird. He should be angry with her, yelling at her or Mashiro, or just something besides acting so calmly! Haruka knew that when something wasn't irritating him, Kensei was usually a pretty calm and collected individual. The guy had a short fuse though, so that calm and collected individual usually went right out the door whenever he was around her or Mashiro. She wasn't used to seeing him like this, and it was throwing Haruka way out of her comfort zone.
"Anyways," she finally breathed. "What exactly are we doing today?"
"What do you mean?" was Kensei's quick reply. Haruka could have smacked her head against a wall if there had been one anywhere near her.
"You know, training?" she prodded. Kensei stared at her for another moment. What was it with him and Shinji staring at her today?
"Are you sure you really need to be training today?" She was going to fucking kill them both; she resolved herself to it once that question came out of Kensei's mouth. She didn't know how she was going to manage to take down two captains, but she'd be damned if she wasn't going to try. Why did they refuse to let that shit go?!
"Of course I'm sure I need to train, brother," Haruka told him. She was so close, so damn close, to losing it at that point. So close…
"Are you sure? Because yesterday," he began. He just had to do it, didn't he? He just had to mention 'yesterday'. His sentence was cut off by a sharp sigh from Haruka. Said brunette looked like she had to physically stop herself from shaking for a moment. She looked away from him and took a deep breath. Oh, she was trying so damn hard not to do anything she'd regret. But she would be damned if they weren't making it hard for her…
"Kensei, brother, you cannot possibly understand how little I care about 'yesterday'," she told him, and although her facial expression hadn't changed, the change in her tone of voice was enough to indicate that the former bandit was more than a little pissed off. He started to say something else, but she quickly cut him off.
"Seriously, you tell me: does this face look like it gives a fuck about yesterday?" Haruka asked him, emphasizing each word for effect. Again, she cut him off before he could say anything else.
"Let me just answer that for you. No, this face does not give a fuck about yesterday, not a single fuck at all. As far as it's concerned, brother, yesterday did not happen, and it also gives no flying fucks if anyone tries to say otherwise," Haruka told him. "So, Captain Muguruma, what are we going to do today for training?"
Kensei just looked at the yellow-eyed woman silently for a moment. Well, alright then. If she wanted to pretend like it didn't happen, then fine, they would all pretend like it didn't happen. Fuck him for trying to be concerned about her, ungrateful bitch. He just couldn't bring himself to be mad at her for it, though. Hell, he was going to go one step further than just pretending like yesterday never happened: he was going to pretend like those whole damn conversation hadn't happened, as well.
"Fight me," he demanded, and his request took Haruka by surprise, even though her face didn't show it. She could have sworn that 'fight' hadn't been the word that came out of his mouth. No, instead she could have sworn that he'd said some other verb that started with the letter 'f', which was a verb that she had no interest doing with him, no damn interest whatsoever, never in a million years, not even if someone threatened to kill her if she didn't partake in it with him. Never. She couldn't even understand why she had thought of him in the same context as that word. She was just so far beyond not being attracted to him that is was almost laugh worthy for her to even try to fathom him in the context of that word.
"At least that's what you tell yourself," Dokudosu sighed.
"And just what the hell does that mean?" Haruka thought to the green-haired zanpakutō.
"Nothing, nothing at all. You're just hopeless," Dokudosu told her.
"Quit saying that!" Haruka mentally grumbled. "Or at least tell me what the hell you actually mean when you say it!"
"Nope, I'm just going to let you figure that one out on your own," the zanpakutō chuckled. "Although, the chances of that actually happening look to be very slim."
"Haruka," Kensei called, pulling Haruka away from yet another pending argument with her zanpakutō. The damn spirit really just needed to get off her back…
"Well?" Kensei asked her, and for the life of her, Haruka could not remember what they had been talking about. Personally, she blamed Dokudosu for it, but she couldn't exactly tell Kensei that.
"What?" was her simple reply, and this time, it was Kensei that looked like he wanted to hit his head against a wall.
"Are you going to fight me?" he repeated. Haruka quirked an eyebrow at him. He was shocked because he had just bared witness to one of the miraculous moments that she actually used one of her facial muscles. This day really was turning out to be weird.
"Oh, yeah, training," Haruka finally remembered. "Well, if that's how you want to go about it, then sure, let's fight."
"No weapons, just hand-to-hand combat," he added.
"That's fine with me," Haruka agreed. "Can I ask what brought this on?"
"It just seems like it's time," he told her. It wasn't much of an answer, but Haruka accepted it. She appreciated it, really. The whole thought of him fighting her just made it seem like he was going to stop tiptoeing around what happened yesterday. She appreciated that he wasn't going to coddle her, although Kensei hardly seemed like the coddling type, so it really shouldn't have surprised her as much as it did. Regardless, a good ole fist fight sounded pretty good to her at that moment.
Haruka would give Kensei one thing: the fucker could fight. It was obvious that he was taking it pretty easy on her at first, only throwing some basic punches and kicks her way, but after she dodged those with ease and gave him a look that practically screamed 'really?', he decided to kick things up a notch. Haruka had honestly not been expecting him to start using Shunpo so early on in the fight, but obviously he had gotten the message from the look that she'd sent his way and figured out that she wasn't going to put up with any of that slow ass beginner type sparring. It had almost cost her, though, and she narrowly dodged an elbow to the head. The poor boulder that he hit instead shattered to thousands of small pebbles on impact, and Haruka felt her eye twitch a little. Her day would have gone from shitty to worse if he'd actually hit her; hell, her day would have ended if she had taken that elbow to the head, along with her life, as well. It probably would have been an appropriate end to things at this point, though, or at least Haruka felt it would have been, anyways…
At least the fight got interesting after that. Kensei pulled no punches against her and she gladly didn't hold back on him, either. The captain was damn fast, and while Haruka was pretty speedy herself, she wasn't quite up to the captain's level yet, so she wasn't able to avoid all of his hits by sheer speed alone. With some of his hits, she had to pull out feats of flexibility that would have made most people cringe if they'd seen them, and she also used her flexibility to try to land some hits on him. Of course, Kensei dodged or deflected all of them, but he couldn't deny that he was impressed by some of her moves, particularly the scorpion kick that she pulled off.
Also, he had to admit that Haruka was pretty light on her feet, which made sense given her former occupation. That light-footedness allowed the brunette to fluidly go from one move to another, and before long their sparring match started to look like some strange and violent sort of dance rather than a fight. It could have been described as graceful, really, and maybe even elegant to some extent. The two just seemed to move in tandem with one another, like they had done this sort of thing together before. Kensei would throw a punch at her and Haruka would arch and move her body around his arm; she would make her way behind him in the process and try to kick him in the back of the head, but Kensei would duck in the nick of time and try to sweep kick her. Haruka figured that one of her most graceful moments in life had been when she dodged Kensei's sweep kick: she had grabbed his shoulders for leverage while he was still crouched to the ground, and had then hopped over his leg with one of her own and kicked her other leg high in the air and quickly brought it down to knee him in the face. It just plainly looked pretty, but of course Kensei had to ruin her moment by grabbing her leg to stop her gorgeous kick.
The rest of their fight continued on much like that; there was never really much space between the two, and they transitioned between moves quickly and flawlessly. Neither of them managed to land a hit on the other, which Haruka was grateful for since she really didn't feel like breaking any bones that day, and Kensei was as well for similar reasons. The bandit wasn't nearly as strong as he was physically speaking, but he knew that she probably still packed one hell of a punch, and he quite frankly didn't want to have to explain any sudden bruises to his fellow captains, especially if they came from the former bandit. It just would have been…awkward for him.
Even though her face may not have showed it, Haruka was actually enjoying herself. It had been a long time since she broken a sweat during a fight, and she quite honestly missed being challenged. Kensei didn't give her any time to catch her breath, and she had to stay on her toes to keep up with the captain. She hadn't had a good fight like this in a long time, not since she had left her village a decade ago, and she'd be damned if the whole thing didn't make her feel a little nostalgic.
Back in her village, Kenshin had been her sparring partner, and while the male bandit had been rather quirky and obnoxious during most things, he always took their fights seriously and gave Haruka a run for her money. Kensei kind of reminded her of Kenshin in that way; granted they weren't anything like each other personality wise, but when it came to a fight, both men put their hearts into it and made it something worth talking about. (Many miles away, back in Haruka's village, Kenshin sneezed so hard that it actually forced him to hit his head against a wall. The rest of Haruka's old group laughed their asses off at him, but poor Kenshin was fruitlessly trying to figure out what the hell had actually brought the sneeze on...)
Haruka didn't know exactly how long they had been sparring, but it had to have at least been an hour. And while she was having one of the best fights of her life, Haruka couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen. She felt like she was forgetting something, but she couldn't take her focus off of Kensei to try to figure out what it was. That forgetful feeling bugged her the entire fight, but right when it seemed like they were getting to the good part of their match, Haruka finally realized what she had forgotten. It wasn't something that she'd forgotten really, but it was something, or rather someone, that was missing from this whole scene, and Haruka didn't realize who it was until a green flash came charging at her and Kensei.
Haruka had decided to change her game a little bit, and she was going to try to put Kensei into a submission hold. She was going for an armbar; she had just gotten a hold of Kensei's arm when she saw the streak of green coming towards them. Kensei couldn't see it because his back was turned towards it, and Haruka could barely even open her mouth to try to warn him before that green flash hit them. It really only hit Kensei, but when the force of the hit made him shoot forwards, he ended up taking poor Haruka along with him as quite an unwilling passenger. Needless to say, they got a little tangled up before they hit the ground.
Once the dust cloud that had been made from their impact with the ground dissipated, the two were able to see just how awkward of a position it was that they had landed in. Haruka had landed flat on her back with her legs uncomfortably bent around Kensei's legs, and the rest of Kensei was hovering above her. It goes without saying that when the captain opened his eyes that he, quite frankly, got one hell of a sight. Haruka couldn't decide which would have been worse, if they had landed face-to-face or boob-to-face. Of course, boob-to-face was what they got, so she would just have to use her imagination to figure out how awkward it would have been if they gotten the face-to-face option. And to Haruka's credit, she kept her stoic expression and didn't let her embarrassment take over her facial features, but the fact that her face turned as red as the top of Old Man Yamamoto's head on a hot and sunny summer day betrayed her. Kensei barely batted an eye through the ordeal. Haruka liked to think that it was just because he was shocked that he kept staring at her…features…like he did, but she sure as fuck wasn't going to ask him about it.
"Well, this escalated real fucking quickly," she finally coughed. The fact that Haruka could hear Dokudosu's incessant cackling in her head didn't help a damn thing, either.
"I am going to kill her," he muttered, and Haruka had never seen somebody move as quickly as he did when he got off of her.
"Kensei-baka! Why are you and Bandit-baka fighting?" Mashiro, the cause of the indescribably awkward situation, screeched.
"Why…the hell…would you charge at somebody like that?!" Kensei seethed, and Haruka truly believed that he might actually kill Mashiro this time. She was tempted to just prop herself up on her elbows and watch the scene unfold in front of her, but she was just far too done with this shit to do that.
"Well, this has been…eventful. Thanks for the spar, brother. We should do it again sometime, without Mashiro around to come in and…yeah, I'm outta here," Haruka announced, and she had never Shunpo'd as fast as she did that day to get back to her room, with Dokudosu laughing herself to tears the entire time…
"Shut the fuck up, you green-haired harpy," Haruka seethed as she slammed her door shut and plopped down in front of it.
"Oh, Haruka, that was just fucking perfect," Dokudosu wheezed, finally stopping her laughter.
"Fuck you, fuck you, and just plainly fuck you," Haruka retorted. "That was beyond fucking awkward. How the hell am I supposed to talk to him after that?"
"Well, there might be a lack of eye contact on his part. I'm sure his gaze will be focused a little lower, yeah?"
"Go fuck yourself with a cactus."
"Well now that's just going too far, Haruka."
"Fuck you."
"I got the picture, Haruka, really. Just like Kensei's got a good picture of your tits!"
"I fucking hate you right now, you know that, right?"
"It's worth it!"
"I'm glad you find my humiliation entertaining, Dokudosu."
"Oh my, it actually hurts to laugh now…"
"Good. I hope you choke, too."
"Oh Haruka, Haruka, Haruka."
"That's my fucking name, Dokudosu!"
"Just why are you so embarrassed?"
"Oh, I don't know, it's not like his face was right there in my tits!"
"But I thought you didn't care about him or what he thinks?"
"I feel like you're condescending me right now."
"Maybe, but isn't that what you said?"
"Yes, and it's fucking true!"
"And I thought you had no attraction to him whatsoever."
"I don't!"
"Then why are you so embarrassed that he was face to face with your boobs?"
"'Cuz it's fucking awkward, why else?"
"But you don't care what he thinks, right?"
"So? I don't care what a lot of people think, but that doesn't mean that I want them to bury their faces in my boobs!"
"Fucking hell, Haruka. Will you just admit that you're sexually attracted to the bastard?"
"The hell did you just say, Dokudosu?"
"Admit it, you find him attractive and you wouldn't mind a good rut with him."
"Get the fuck out of my head."
"What?"
"You're evicted. Get out."
"You are fucking hopeless Haruka."
"Is that what you've been meaning when you said that?!"
"Yup."
"That's just…"
"Just what, Haruka? Can you deny it?"
"…"
"Well, Haruka?"
"I hate you, Dokudosu."
"So you admit it!"
"Fuck you."
"Aw! Haruka's got a crush on her captain!"
"I will kill myself and take you with me, Dokudosu…"
"There's nothing to be ashamed of! Hell, he's not bad looking even in my opinion!"
"Your opinion?"
"Yes, my opinion. I'm very picky when it comes to men, Haruka, and I refuse to let you hook up with someone that is below my standards."
"Just…go away."
"Don't worry, Haruka, you're not as hopeless as I thought you were. With any luck, we might actually get you laid sometime soon."
"Ugh…"
"Oh, what's wrong, Haruka dear?"
"You...him…this day…everything."
"I know someone that can make you feel a lot better now!"
"Ugh..."
Haruka had never cursed her zanpakutō so much. The damn banshee just had to go and point that shit out. Haruka could have gone the rest of her life without realizing her attraction to Kensei and she would have died happy. But now, thanks to Dokudosu, she no longer had that option. What an absolute bitch…
Author's Note: A special thanks to Aye-Sir, EeveeCollector, kolulu100, KeinoftheSOS, niteshine, Lone-Wolf-Ranger, hunter2424, Friggatriskaidekaphobia, TheTruthSeeker, Kyoko123, vnienhuis, Clymentined, LovelyBones98, Lazy Creativity, MarvelGeek13, ThiefWicker, CrazyEllaphant, scarlet rose white, hardoraku, KiraKittyKat, Therjj, Agnew-San, and LegalAddiction20.
