Stockholm Syndrome – Chapter 9 – Feelings and Possessions
Previously:
"We would like to talk to you about Bella," Carlisle said.
"What about her?" I asked.
"Well Edward, you see, we all saw the exchange between Bella and you, save for Jasper and Alice but Alice did see in her own way. Jasper did feel the connection though."
"What connection?"
"Jasper felt the…draw, per se, that you had towards her. I think I know what that draw was Edward."
"And what would that be Carlisle?"
"You are falling for her…"
"You know you're seriously full of shit right?" I asked Carlisle as I pulled my almost seldom used pack of cigarettes from my pocket and lit one. Now seemed like as good a time as ever to puff away with the delusions my family was spouting at me.
Quicker than I could register, however, Esme was across the room and snapped the cigarette out of my mouth, putting it out in her palm.
"You will not disrespect your father that way and you will not be smoking in my house! Do I make myself clear Edward?" Esme said with an air of authority I was too bored to challenge.
"Sure, whatever. So, you think I'm falling for the little Doggie Bag upstairs huh? Sorry to burst your bubble but I'm not," I said.
I saw Emmett receive an elbow to the ribs from Rosalie when his chuckle escaped at my reference to Bella being leftovers. Alice just shook her head disapprovingly at me while Jasper raised an eyebrow to challenge my comment. Esme looked shocked and Carlisle maintained his calm façade even though his thoughts said what he wanted to.
Don't fight it Edward, it will be easier if you don't, Carlisle thought and I tried to block him out.
"Ok, well are we done here?" I asked, "Because I have a little Eau du Hussy to wash off of me before school."
Alice, Rose, and Esme all gasped at my statement and Emmett bit back another chuckle. He knew about my escapades and liked to live vicariously through me. Carlisle seemed disappointed and Jasper just shook his head at me. I sauntered past them to my vamp cave and headed to my shower. Thankfully Esme had decided to install a full bathroom downstairs so I didn't have to be around them any longer than necessary.
I lost myself in the steamy stall and let my thoughts wander back to earlier tonight and the magnetic pull I felt towards her. There had to be some other explanation other than me falling for her. I didn't do that weak and pathetic shit of falling in love. That was for those that couldn't survive on their own. I was a survivor, I had shown that the last 90 something years.
I barely noticed the water going cold as I was lost in my thoughts. But eventually I turned it off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around my hips before going to lounge on my couch. I wasn't in the mood to watch TV or reading so I picked up my remote and turned on the stereo losing myself in Debussy's Suite bergamasque which contained Clair de lune, one of my favorite compositions by him.
I didn't realize the time that had passed but I could hear the animals in the surrounding forest wake up for the day so I began to dress and hoped like hell that my family had dropped their attempts to push me towards Bella's body instead of her blood. I knew what I wanted from her and it wasn't companionship, it was to satiate my thirst.
I headed upstairs and took note of Bella's rhythmic heartbeat stills sounding a floor above. She sounded like she was still deep in sleep. I silently said goodbye to my future meal and headed out the door with my siblings.
I was pleasantly surprised to find all of their thoughts on things other than Bella and me. However, that didn't last the whole day. First Alice started in taunting me with visions of the two of us embracing around the house. Then Jasper chimed in with his assessment of the emotions he had felt, or had supposedly felt. Emmett joined in but with more perverse thoughts. Rose was the only one who minded her business. I tried to lose myself in the plans I had already formed for Operation Drain Bella and think up new ones but Emmett's vulgar thoughts and suggestive images always weaseled their way in.
By the time school was over I decided that Rose's mind held the biggest shred of hope for me to not be mentally assaulted so I succumbed to her mental list of designers, nail polish shades, and how her body was better than most people's. Rose had a tendency to be shallow but that was who she was, it was how she had been raised.
Once we got home Alice shot into the house before the car even stopped. I ignored her actions and parked the Volvo in the garage. Emmett and Rose got out and walked around the back of the house presumably to hunt. That left Jasper and me.
"Edward?" Jasper asked.
"What Jasper? I asked, clearly annoyed.
"Can we talk about Bella?"
"There's nothing to talk about!" I ranted and stormed up the stairs into the house.
Jasper caught my arm and I spun around in a crouch, an instinctive snarl emanating from my throat. Jasper let go of me and raised his arms in the air. I straightened out after a moment and looked at him, one eyebrow rising up before I pulled out my cigarettes and lit one. I hadn't smoked in some time, well, since tasting Bella, but that was because I found a new thing to rebel with, her.
"Why do you even do that shit?" Jasper asked.
"Because, you all are driving me crazy and it seems to calm me down." I replied. It was half true, they all were driving me crazy but the cigarettes didn't have an effect on me.
"Look man, I know you are fighting it and I can understand why but really, you are…" Jasper started but I cut him off.
"I told you," I growled, "I. AM. NOT. FALLING. FOR. HER!" I spat then snubbed out the cig and spun around before stalking into the house, Jasper on my heels.
"Edward, come on! Let's talk about this."
"There's nothing to talk about. You are wrong Jasper, all of you are wrong. I don't feel that way! It's impossible!"
"Just talk to me about it. I can feel something. I know there is something there. You can't deny that you are feeling it. I feel it from you. Just talk to me about Bella."
"Drop it Jasper," I growled.
"Fine, fine. But we will talk about this. It isn't going to go away. It's just going to build Edward. And when it gets to be too much you are going to come to me."
I ignored him and started to head back out the front door but stopped when I heard Emmett's voice and an accelerated heartbeat.
"What have we here?" Emmett said and the heartbeat picked up even more.
FUCK ME! Bella! The fucker had found Bella! But where was she? I turned around to see Emmett walking away from my bedroom with Bella slung over his shoulder, her fists pounding into his back and her screaming to be put down.
The urge to separate the two suddenly erupted within me and I growled out, "Put her down!"
Emmett raised an eyebrow at me, challenging me to make him then slid his arm, which had been holding Bella's legs behind her knees, slowly upwards until it was inches from the curve of her ass cheeks.
I started to see red and taste the fury as he pawed at my Bella. I wasn't aware of the living room suddenly being crowded as the rest of the family appeared.
"PUT. HER. DOWN!" I growled again, stalking forward two steps while sinking into a crouch. I could have her out of his grasp in milliseconds if I wanted but I risked hurting her, a risk I didn't want to take.
"What's wrong Eddie? Don't like me touching her? Jealous?" Emmett asked and I noticed that Bella had gone quiet and had stopped moving.
"MINE! She's mine! You put her down now!" I growled again, a territorial snarl ripping up my throat and out my mouth.
I felt Jasper trying to control my emotions but it didn't affect me. I was too far gone with the jealousy and rage. He had placed his hands on my Bella!
All of my words had been low enough for Bella not to hear them but I was quickly spiraling out of control and I knew I would lose it soon.
"Emmett…" I growled out again and watched as he finally lowered her to the floor before backing up a step.
Without thinking, I lunged forward and grabbed Bella before returning to my previous position with Bella safely behind my back. No one would get to her now; I would keep her safe, keep her mine…
I could hear Bella's sharp intakes of breath behind me and her heart thundering in her chest but she was safe now, no one would touch her.
"Edward?" Carlisle asked and I cut my eyes to him. "Edward, no one was going to hurt her, its ok."
I felt Jasper's control working again and could sense it working on Bella as she calmed significantly behind me. I tentatively tasted it before letting it slowly work on me as well. She was safe, she was mine, I had her now, I would protect her…
Esme stepped forward and spoke in a serene voice, "Bella, what do you say we venture into the kitchen? Ladies would you like to join us?" she asked and Rose inched behind me before lightly gripping Bella's upper arm and helping her bounce her way past me.
Bella looked towards me with a shocked and awed glance before turning her head back forward and hobbling out of the living room.
Watching her walk away from me caused fissures to rip open in my chest and I didn't know why. It literally felt like I was being torn in two, half of me following her and half remaining. What was this? I thought to myself as the pain intensified, feeling like flames licking at me from the inside, deep in my chest.
I collapsed onto my knees, gripping at my hair and pulling at it. I felt like I was burning alive, like Bella would never look back at me. I could feel Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett around me, trying to help me but the only thing that would help me now laid in those deep chocolate pools that were walking away from me. I looked up at her, pleading, mentally trying to make her look at me one last time.
Just before she disappeared around the corner her eyes locked with mine and everything fell into place and was suddenly clear. I was in love with Bella Swan and could not live without her.
