Chapter 9: Refusing
Some weeks have passed since I got ambushed. I was now since 9 weeks at the organization and every day was more or less the same. I woke up and went to Saïx, in order to get a mission from him. After finishing this mission I spend always some hours in the world of my mission before returning home… At home again I took a shower and went into the library where Zexion was always waiting for me… And my day ended when he and I went to bed. It was literally always the same.
Another morning.
I went into the room with the window wall… It had actually another name but I didn't make myself any effort to remember it. It had no sense anyway. It just had a name so that nobody would mistake it for another room. But today was different… Something was missing…
"Saïx, where are the others?" I walked inside the room and looked around. Empty… It was empty and quiet… Something was wrong… Because normally somebody was always sitting around here…
"A meeting will be made soon and so most of the invited ones went already ahead." Saïx explained and gave me my mission.
"A meeting….? Shouldn't I come as well then?" I asked holding the paper with the mission in my hand.
"No, it's not of your business. It's about a special mission, not made for beginners." He answered and looked down on me.
"I am NOT a beginner anymore. So why am I not allowed to join this mission?" I suppose the feeling I should feel was hate or anger, because I still got treated like a beginner.
"Because we need you here. If everyone goes to this mission, who will make the other missions then?" He looked at me and though I "hated" to admit it, but he had a point there.
"W-well…" I looked down. I had no idea how to answer him. Neither what to say at all. So the discussion was closed, and I opened a portal.
I went through it ,but I didn't go to the world I should go to. I simply went into the forest again, where I got ambushed some time ago… And no one knew why I got ambushed and no single clue was found yet. So I started to search again for any clue. Somewhere some mistake has been made, I just had to find it… And maybe… Once I found it…. I would find more about myself…. A single memory… A single piece of who I really am… Or rather said, who I used to be… As I was searching for any single clue, Zexion suddenly appeared behind me.
"You shouldn't be here..." his usually calm voice seemed somehow different.
"You neither…" I answered.
"And why are we here then?" he sat down on the grass.
"I dunno… I guess to find out about ourselves…?" I sat next to him down and looked down.
"Sometimes it isn't good to know everything about yourself." He looked at me and lifted my face by my chin up.
Unable to avert my gaze from him I asked him "and what about you? Do you know everything about yourself?"
He nodded.
"May I know about it….? I will accept a decline as well." I really wanted to know… But neither I wanted now to force him.
"It will be a long story… But it all starts with when I was a child…"
